and several pieces of the wreck, the sea had flung up. Having secured
those, I made to the ship, whose stern was torn off, and washed a great
distance ashore; but the rest lay in the sands. This I suppose was
occasioned by the earthquake. I now resolved to keep my old place of
abode; and also to go to the ship that day, but then found it
impossible.
_May_ 3. This day I went on board, and with my saw sawed off one of the
beams, which kept her quarter-deck. I then cleared the sand till flood.
_May_ 4. I caught some fish, but they were not wholesome, The same day I
also catched a young dolphin.
_May 5._ 'This day I also repaired to the wreck, and sawed another
piece of timber, and when the flood came, I made a float of three great
planks, which were driven ashore by the tide.
_May 6, 7, 8, 9._ These days I brought off the iron bolts, opened the
deck with the iron crow, and carried two planks to land, having made a
way into the very middle of the wreck.
_May 10, 11, 12, 13, 14._ All this time I spent in bringing off great
quantities of iron and timber.
_May 15._ Took with me two hatchets on purpose to cut off some lead from
the roll, but all in vain, for it lay too low under water.
_May 16._ I omitted going to the wreck this day, for employing myself in
looking for pigeons, I outstaid my time.
_May 17._ I perceived several pieces of the wreck driven ashore, which I
found belonged to the head of the ship.
_May 24._ To this day I worked on the wreck, and with great difficulty
loosened some things so much with the crow, that at the first flowing
tide several casks floated out, and many of the seamen's chests, yet
that day nothing came to land but pieces of timber, and a hogshead which
had some Brazil pork in it. I continued working to the 15th of June;
(except necessary times for food and rest) and had I known how to have
built a boat, I had timber and planks enough; I had also near 100 weight
of sheet lead.
_June 16._ As I was wandering towards the sea-side, I found a large
tortoise or turtle, being the first I had seen on the island, though, as
I afterwards found, there were many on the other side of it.
_June 17._ This day I spent in cooking it, found in her threescore eggs,
and her flesh the most savoury and pleasant I ever tasted in my life.
_June 18._ I staid within this day, there being a continual rain; and it
was somewhat more chilly and cold than usual.
_June 19._ Exceedingly bad, being taken with a trembling and shivering.
_June 20._ Awake all night, my head racked with pain and feverish.
_June 21._ Sick unto death, and terrified with the dismal apprehensions
of my condition. Prayed to God more frequently, but very confusedly.
_June 22._ Something better, but still uneasy in my mind.
_June 23._ Again relapsed much as before.
_June 24._ Mended a second time.
_June 25._ A violent ague for seven hours, cold and hot fits succeeded
with faint sweats.
_June 26._ Better, but very weak, yet I scrambled out, shot a she-goat,
brought it home and broiled some of it; I would willingly have stewed
it, and made some broth, but had no pod.
_June 27_ All this day I was afflicted with an ague; thirsty, yet I
could not help myself to water: Prayed to God in these words: _Lord, in
pity look upon me: Lord, have mercy upon me: have mercy upon me!_ After
this I fell asleep, which I found had much refreshed me when I awaked. I
fell fast asleep a second time, and fell into this strange and terrible
sort of dream.
Methought I was sitting on the same spot of ground at the outside of the
wall where I sat when the storm blew after the earthquake; and that I
saw a man descending from a great black cloud, and alight upon the
ground. He was all over as bright as a flash of fire that a little
before surrounded him; his countenance inconceivably terrible; the earth
as it were trembled when he stept upon the ground, and flashes of fire
seemed to fill all the air. No sooner I thought him landed upon the
earth, but with a long spear, or other weapon, he made towards me; but
first ascending a rising ground, his voice added to my amazement, when I
thought I heard him pronounce these dreadful words, _Unhappy wretch!
seeing all these things have not brought thee to repentance, thou shalt
immediately die._ In pronouncing this dreadful sentence, I thought he
went to kill me with the spear that was in his hand.
Any body may think it impossible for me to express the horrors of my
mind at this vision: and even when I awaked, this very dream made a deep
impression upon my mind. The little divine knowledge I had, I received
from my father's instructions, and that was worn out by an uninterrupted
series of sea-faring impiety for eight years space. Except what sickness
forced from me, I do not remember I had one thought of lifting up my
heart towards God, but rather had a certain stupidity of soul, not
having the least sense or fear of the Omnipotent Being when in distress,
nor of gratitude to him for his deliverances. Nay, when I was on the
desperate expedition on the desert African shore, I cannot remember I
had one thought of what would become of me, or to beg his consolation
and assistance in my sufferings and distress. When the Portugal captain
took me up and honorably used me, nay, farther, when I was even
delivered from drowning by escaping to this island, I never looked upon
it as a judgment, but only said I was an unfortunate dog, and that's
all. Indeed some secret transports of soul I had, which was not through
grace but only a common flight of joy, that I was yet alive, when my
companions were all drowned, and no other joy could I conceive but what
is common with the sailors over a bowl of punch, after they have escaped
the greatest dangers.
The likelihood of wanting for neither food nor conveniences, might have
called upon me for a thankful acknowledgment to Providence. Indeed, the
growth of my corn touched with some sense, but that soon wore off again.
The terrible earthquake pointed to me, as it were, the finger of God,
but my dreadful amazement continued no longer than its duration. But
now, when my spirits began to sink under the burden of a strong
distemper, and I could leisurely view the miseries of death present
themselves before my eyes, then my awakened conscience began to reproach
me with my past life, in which I had so wickedly provoked the justice of
God to pour down his vengeance upon me.
Such reflections as these oppressed me even in the violence of
distemper. Some prayers I uttered, which only proceeded from the fear of
death. But when I considered my father's advice and prophecy, I could
not forbear weeping; for he told me, _That if I did persist in my folly,
I should not only be deprived of God's blessing, but have time enough to
reflect upon my despising his instructions, and this, in a wretched
time, when none could help me_. And now concluding it to be fulfilled,
having no soul in the island to administer any comfort to me, I prayed
earnestly to the Lord, that he would help me in this great calamity. And
this, I think, was the first time I prayed in sincerity for many years.
But now I must return to my journal.
_June_ 28. Something refreshed with sleep, and the fit quite off, I got
up. My dream still occasioned in me a great consternation; and, fearing
that the ague might return the succeeding day, I concluded it time to
get something to comfort me. I filled a case bottle with water, and set
it within reach of my bed; and, to make it more nourishing and less
chilly, I put some rum in it. The next thing I did was to broil me a
piece of goat's flesh, of which I ate but little. I was very weak;
however, walked about, dreading the return of my distemper; and at night
I supped on three of the turtle's eggs, which I roasted and ate, begging
God's blessing therewith.
After I had eaten, I attempted to walk again out of doors with my gun;
but was so weak, that I sat down, and looked at the sea, which was
smooth and calm. While I continued here, these thoughts came into
my mind.
In what manner is the production of the earth and sea, of which I have
seen so much? From whence came myself, and all other creatures living,
and of what are they made?
Our beings were assuredly created by some almighty invisible Power, who
framed the earth the sea, and air, and all therein. But what is
that Power?
Certainly it must follow that God has created it all. Yet, said I, if
God has made all this he must be the Ruler of them all, and what is
relating thereto; for certainly the Power that makes, must indisputably
have a power to guide and direct them. And if this be so, (as certainly
it must) nothing can happen without his knowledge and appointment. Then,
surely, if nothing happens without God's appointment, certainly God has
appointed these my sufferings to befal me. And here I fixed my firm
belief that it was his will that it should be so; and then proceeded to
enquire, why should God deal with me in this manner? Or what have I done
thus to deserve his indignation.
Here conscience flew in my face, reprehending me as a blasphemer; crying
with a loud and piercing voice, _Unworthy wretch! how dare you ask what
you have done? Look on your past life, and see what you have left
undone? Ask thyself, why thou wert not long ago in the merciless hands
of death? Why not drowned in Yarmouth roads, or killed in the fight,
when the ship was taken by the Sallee man of war? Why not entombed in
the bowels of wild beasts on the African coast, or drowned here when all
thy companions suffered shipwreck in the ocean._
Struck dumb with these reflections, I rose up in a pensive manner, being
so thoughtful that I could not go to sleep; and fearing the dreadful
return of my distemper, it caused me to remember, that the Brazilians
use tobacco for almost all diseases. I then went to my chest in older to
find some, where Heaven, no doubt, directed me to find a cure for both
soul and body; for there I found one of the Bibles, which, till this
time, I had neither leisure nor inclination to look into, I took both
the tobacco and that out of the chest, and laid them on the table.
Several experiments did I try with the tobacco: First, I took a piece or
leaf, and chewed it; but it being very green and strong, almost
stupified me. Next I steeped it in some rum an hour or two, resolving
when I went to bed to take a dole of it: and, in the third place, I
burnt some over a pan of fire, holding my nose over it as long as I
could endure it without suffocation.
In the intervals of this operation, though my head was giddy and
disturbed by the tobacco, I took up the Bible to read. No sooner did I
open it, but there appeared to me these words _Call on me in the day of
trouble, and I will deliver thee, and thou shall glorify me_.
At first this sentence made a very deep impression on my heart, but it
soon wore off again, when I considered the word _deliver_ was foreign to
me. And as the children of Israel said, when they were promised flesh to
eat, _Can God spread a table in the wilderness?_ in like manner I began
to say, _Can God himself deliver me from this desolate island?_ However,
the words would still return to my mind, and afterwards made a greater
impression upon me. As it was now very late, and the tobacco had dazed
my head, I was inclined to sleep: but before I would lie down I fell on
my knees, and implored the promise that God had made to me in the Holy
Scriptures, that _if I called upon him in the day of trouble he would
deliver me._ With much difficulty I afterwards drank the rum wherein I
had steeped the tobacco, which flying into my head, threw me into such a
profound sleep, that it was three o'clock the next day before I awaked;
or rather, I believe, I slept two days, having certainly lost a day in
my account, and I could never tell any other way. When I got up, my
spirits were lively and cheerful; my stomach much better, being very
hungry; and, in short, no fit returned the next day, which was the 29th,
but I found myself much altered for the better.
The 30th, I went abroad with my gun, but not far, and killed a sea-fowl
or two, resembling a brand goose, which, however, I cared not to eat
when I brought them home, but dined on two more of the turtle's eggs. In
the evening I renewed my medicine, excepting that I did not take so
large a quantity, neither did I chew the leaf, or hold my head over the
smoke: but the next day, which was the 1st of _July_, having a little
return of the cold fit, I again took my medicine as I did the
first time.
_July_ 3. The fit quite left me, but very weak. In this condition, I
often thought of these words, _I will deliver thee_; and while, at some
times, I would think of the impossibility of it, other thoughts would
reprehend me for disregarding the deliverances I had received, even from
the most forlorn and distressed condition. I asked myself, what regard
have I had to God for his abundant mercies? Have I done my part_: He has
delivered me, but I have not glorified him:_--as if I had said, I had
not owned and been thankful for these as deliverances, and how could I
expect greater? So much did this sensibly touch my heart, that I gave
God thanks for my recovery from weakness in the most humble prostration.
_July_ 4. This morning I began seriously to ponder on what is written in
the New Testament, resolving to read a chapter every morning and night
as long an my thoughts would engage me. As soon as I set about this work
seriously, I found my heart deeply affected with the impiety of my past
life; these words that I thought were spoken to me in my dream revived,
_All these things have not brought thee to repentance._ After this, I
begged of God to assist me with his Holy Spirit in returning to my duty.
One day in perusing the Scriptures, I came to these words, _He is
exalted a Prince and a Saviour, to give repentance and to give
remission_: Immediately I laid down the book, and with uplifted hands to
Heaven, loudly cried, _O blessed Jesus, thou son of David, Jesus, thou
exalted Prince and Saviour, give we repentance!_ And now indeed I prayed
with a true sense of my condition, and a more certain hope, founded on
the word of God. Now I had a different sense of these words, _Call on me
and I will deliver thee_, that is from the dreadful load of guilt which
oppressed my sinful soul, and not from a solitary life, which might
rather be called, a blessing, seeing I wanted neither food nor raiment,
when compared living amongst the human race, surrounded with so much
oppression, misery, and affliction; in a word, I came to this
conclusion, that a deliverance from sin was a much greater blessing,
than a deliverance from affliction. But again I proceed to my journal.
To the 14th of _July_, I walked about with my gun, little and little at
a time, having been reduced to the greatest extremity of weakness. The
applications and experiments I used were perfectly new: neither could I
recommend them to any one's practice. For though it carried off the fit,
it very much weakened me, and I had frequently convulsions in my nerves
and limbs for some time. From this I learned, that going abroad in rainy
weather, especially when it was attended with storms and hurricanes of
wind, was most pernicious to health. I had now been about ten months in
the island; and as I never had seen any of the human kind, I therefore
accounted myself as sole monarch; and as I grew better, having secured
my habitation to my mind, I resolved to make a tour round my kingdom, in
order to make new discoveries.
The 15th of _July_, I began my journey; I first went to the creek, where
I had brought my rafts on shore; and travelling farther, found the tide
went no higher than two miles up, where there was a little brook of
running water, on the banks of which were many pleasant savannahs or
meadows, plain, smooth, and covered with grass. On the rising parts,
where I supposed the water did not reach, I perceived a great deal of
tobacco growing to a very strong stalk. Several other plants I likewise
found, the virtues of which I did not understand. I searched a long time
for the Cassava root, which I knew the Indians in that climate made
their bread of, but all in vain. There were several plants of aloes,
though at that time I knew not what they were; likewise I saw several
sugar canes, but imperfect for want of cultivation. With these few
discoveries, I came back that night, and slept contentedly in my
little castle.
The next day, being the 16th, going the same way, but farther then the
day before, I found the country more adorned with woods and trees. Here
I perceived different fruits in great abundance. Melons in plenty lay on
the ground, and clusters of grapes, ripe and very rich, spread over the
trees. You may imagine I was glad of this discovery, yet ate very
sparingly, lest I should throw myself into a flux or fever. The grapes I
found of excellent use; for when I had dried them in the sun, which
preserved them as dried raisins are kept, they proved very wholesome and
nourishing, and served me in those seasons when no grapes were to
be had.
The night drawing on apace, I ascended up a tree, and slept very
comfortably, though it was the first time I had lain out of my
habitation. And when the morning came, I proceeded with great pleasure
on my way, travelling about four miles, as I imagined, by the length of
the valley, directing my course northward, there being a ridge of hills
on the south and north side of me. At the end of this valley, I came to
an opening, where the country seemed to descend to the west; there I
found a little spring of fresh water, proceeding out of the side of the
hill, with its chrystal streams running directly east. And, indeed, here
my senses were charmed with the most beautiful landscape nature could
afford; for the country appeared flourishing, green, and delightful,
that to me it seemed like a planted garden. I then descended on the side
of that delicious vale, when I found abundance of cocoa, orange, lemon,
and citron trees, but very wild and barren at that time. As for the
limes, they were delightful and wholesome, the juice of which I after
used to mix in water, which made it very cooling and refreshing. And now
I was resolved to carry home and lay up a store of grapes, limes, and
lemons, against the approaching wet season. So laying them up in
separate parcels, and then taking a few of each with me, I returned to
my little castle, after having spent three days in this journey. Before
I got home, the grapes were so bruised that they were utterly spoiled;
the limes indeed were good, but of those I could bring only a few.
_July 19_. Having prepared two bags, I returned thither again, but, to
my great surprise, found all the grapes spread about, trod to pieces,
and abundance eaten, which made me conclude there were wild beasts
thereabouts. To prevent this happening again, I gathered a large
quantity of the grapes, and hung them upon the out branches of the tree,
both to keep them unhurt, and that they might cure and dry in the sun;
and having well loaded myself with limes and lemons, I returned once
more to my old place of residence.
And now contemplating on the fruitfulness of this valey, and
pleasantness of its situation, its security from storms, and the
delightfulness of the adjacent woods, I concluded I was settled in the
worst part of the country, and therefore was thinking to remove my
habitation.
But when I considered again, that though it was pleasant, it was off
from the sea-side, where there was a possibility, some time or other, a
ship might either be driven or sail by; and that to inclose myself among
hills and woods must certainly put an end to my hopes of deliverance; I
resolved to let my castle remain where Providence had first assigned it.
Yet so ravished was I with this place, that I made me a little kind of
bower, surrounding it with a double hedge, as high as I could reach,
well staked and filled with bullrushes: and having spent a great part of
the month of _July_, I think it was the first of _August_ before I began
to enjoy my labour.
_Aug. 3._ Perceiving my grapes to be dry, I took them from the trees,
and they proved excellent good raisins of the sun: the most of which I
carried to my cave; and happy for me I did so; by which I saved the best
part of my winter food.
_Aug_. 14. This day it began to rain; and though I had made me a tent
like the other, yet having no shelter of a hill to keep me from storms,
nor a cave behind me to retreat to, I was obliged to return to my old
castle. The rain continued more or less every day, till the middle of
_October;_ and sometimes so violently, that I could not stir out of my
cave for several days. This season I found my family to increase; for
one of my cats that ran away from me, and which I thought had been dead,
returned about _August_, with three kittens at her heels, like herself,
which I thought strange, because both my cats were females, and the wild
cats of the island seemed to be of a different kind from our European
cats; but from these cats proceeded such numbers, that I was forced to
kill and destroy them as I would do wild beasts and vermin.
To the 26th of this month, I could not stir out, it raining incessantly;
when beginning to want food, I was compelled to venture twice, the first
of which I shot a goat, and afterwards found a very large tortoise. The
manner of my regulating my food was thus: a bunch of raisins served me
for my breakfast; a piece of goat's flesh or turtle boiled for my
dinner, and two or three turtle's eggs for my supper. While the rain
lasted, I daily worked two or three hours at enlarging my cave, and by
degrees worked it on towards one side, till I came to the outside of the
hill, and made a door or way out, which came beyond my fence or wall,
and so I came in and out this way. But after I had done this, I was
troubled to see myself thus exposed; though I could not perceive any
thing to fear, a goat being the biggest creature I had seen upon
this island.
_Sept_. 30. Casting up my notches on my post, which amounted to 365, I
concluded this to be the anniversary of my landing; and, therefore,
humbly prostrating myself on the ground, confessing my sins,
acknowledging God's righteous judgments upon me, and praying to Jesus
Christ to have mercy upon me, I fasted for twelve hours till the going
down of the sun; and then eating a biscuit and a bunch of grapes, laid
me on the bed, and with great comfort took my night's repose. Till this
time I never had distinguished the Sabbath-day; but now made a longer
notch than ordinary for the days of rest, and divided the weeks as well
as I could, though I found I had lost a day or two in my account. My ink
failing soon after, I omitted in my daily memorandum things of an
indifferent nature, & contented myself to write down only the most
remarkable events of my life. The rainy and dry seasons appeared now
regular to me, and experience taught me how to provide for them; yet, in
one thing I am going to relate, my experience very much failed me. You
may call to mind what I have mentioned of some barley and rice which I
had saved; about thirty stalks of the former, and twenty of the latter;
and at that time, the sun being in its southern position, going from
me, together with the rains, made me conclude it a very proper season to
sow it. Accordingly I dug up a piece of ground, with my wooden spade,
and dividing it into two parts, sowed about two thirds of my seed,
preserving by me about a handful of each. And happy it was I did so; for
no rains falling, it was choaked up, and never appeared above the earth
till the wet season came again, and then part of it grew, as if it had
been newly sown.
I was resolved all to make another trial; and seeking for a moister
piece of ground near my bower, I there sowed the rest of my seed in
February, a little before the vernal equinox; which having the rainy
months of March and April to water it, yielded a noble crop, and sprang
up very pleasantly. I had still saved part of the seed, not daring to
venture all; and by the time I found out the proper seasons to sow it
in, and that I might expect every year two seed-times and two harvests,
my stock amounted to above half a peck of each sort of grain.