grandmother heard his words, she waxed wroth and looked at the servant
and said, "Woe to thee! dost thou spoil my son,[471] and dost take him
into common cookshops?" The Eunuch was frightened and denied, saying,
"We did not go into the shop; we only passed by it." "By Allah," cried
Ajib, "but we _did_ go in and we ate till it came out of our nostrils,
and the dish was better than thy dish!" Then his grandmother rose and
went and told her brother-in-law, who was incensed against the Eunuch,
and sending for him asked him, "Why didst thou take my son into a
cook-shop?"; and the Eunuch being frightened answered, "We did not go
in." But Ajib said, "We _did_ go inside and ate conserve of
pomegranate-grains till we were full; and the cook gave us to drink of
iced and sugared sherbet." At this the Wazir's indignation redoubled
and he questioned the Castrato but, as he still denied, the Wazir said
to him, "If thou speak sooth, sit down and eat before us." So he came
forward and tried to eat, but could not and threw away the mouthful
crying "O my lord! I am surfeited since yesterday." By this the Wazir
was certified that he had eaten at the cook's and bade the slaves throw
him[472] which they did. Then they came down on him with a rib-basting
which burned him till he cried for mercy and help from Allah, saying,
"O my master, beat me no more and I will tell thee the truth;"
whereupon the Wazir stopped the bastinado and said, "Now speak thou
sooth." Quoth the Eunuch, "Know then that we did enter the shop of a
cook while he was dressing conserve of pomegranate-grains and he set
some of it before us: by Allah! I never ate in my life its like, nor
tasted aught nastier than this stuff which is now before us."[473] Badr
al-Din Hasan's mother was angry at this and said, "Needs must thou go
back to the cook and bring me a saucer of conserved pomegranate-grains
from that which is in his shop and show it to thy master, that he may
say which be the better and the nicer, mine or his." Said the unsexed
"I will." So on the instant she gave him a saucer and a half dinar and
he returned to the shop and said to the cook, "O Shaykh of all
Cooks,[474] we have laid a wager concerning thy cookery in my lord's
house, for they have conserve of pomegranate-grains there also; so give
me this half-dinar's worth and look to it; for I have eaten a full meal
of stick on account of thy cookery, and so do not let me eat aught more
thereof." Hasan of Bassorah laughed and answered, "By Allah, none can
dress this dish as it should be dressed save myself and my mother, and
she at this time is in a far country." Then he ladled out a
saucer-full; and, finishing it off with musk and rose-water, put it in
a cloth which he sealed[475] and gave it to the Eunuch, who hastened
back with it. No sooner had Badr al-Din Hasan's mother tasted it and
perceived its fine flavour and the excellence of the cookery, than she
knew who had dressed it, and she screamed and fell down fainting. The
Wazir, sorely startled, sprinkled rose-water upon her and after a time
she recovered and said, "If my son be yet of this world, none dressed
this conserve of pomegranate-grains but he; and this Cook is my very
son Badr al-Din Hasan; there is no doubt of it nor can there be any
mistake, for only I and he knew how to prepare it and I taught him."
When the Wazir heard her words he joyed with exceeding joy and said,
"Oh the longing of me for a sight of my brother's son! I wonder if the
days will ever unite us with him! Yet it is to Almighty Allah alone
that we look for bringing about this meeting." Then he rose without
stay or delay and, going to his suite said to them, "Be off, some fifty
of you with sticks and staves to the Cook's shop and demolish it; then
pinion his arms behind him with his own turband, saying:—It was thou
madest that foul mess of pomegranate-grains! and drag him here perforce
but without doing him a harm." And they replied, "It is well." Then the
Wazir rode off without losing an instant to the Palace and,
foregathering with the Viceroy of Damascus, showed him the Sultan's
orders. After careful perusal he kissed the letter, and placing it upon
his head said to his visitor, "Who is this offender of thine?" Quoth
the Wazir, "A man which is a cook." So the Viceroy at once sent his
apparitors to the shop; which they found demolished and everything in
it broken to pieces; for whilst the Wazir was riding to the palace his
men had done his bidding. Then they awaited his return from the
audience, and Hasan of Bassorah who was their prisoner kept saying, "I
wonder what they have found in the conserve of pomegranate-grains to
bring things to this pass!"[476] When the Wazir returned to them, after
his visit to the Viceroy who had given him formal permission to take up
his debtor and depart with him, on entering the tents he called for the
Cook. They brought him forward pinioned with his turband; and, when
Badr al-Din Hasan saw his uncle, he wept with exceeding weeping and
said, "O my lord, what is my offence against thee?" "Art thou the man
who dressed that conserve of pomegranate-grains?"; asked the Wazir, and
he answered "Yes! didst thou find in it aught to call for the cutting
off of my head?" Quoth the Wazir, "That were the least of thy deserts!"
Quoth the cook, "O my lord, wilt thou not tell me my crime and what
aileth the conserve of pomegranate-grains?" "Presently," replied the
Wazir and called aloud to his men, saying "Bring hither the camels." So
they struck the tents and by the Wazir's orders the servants took Badr
al-Din Hasan, and set him in a chest which they padlocked and put on a
camel. Then they departed and stinted not journeying till nightfall,
when they halted and ate some victual, and took Badr al-Din Hasan out
of his chest and gave him a meal and locked him up again. They set out
once more and travelled till they reached Kimrah, where they took him
out of the box and brought him before the Wazir who asked him, "Art
thou he who dressed that conserve of pomegranate-grains?" He answered
"Yes, O my lord!"; and the Wazir said "Fetter him!" So they fettered
him and returned him to the chest and fared on again till they reached
Cairo and lighted at the quarter called Al-Raydaniyah.[477] Then the
Wazir gave order to take Badr al-Din Hasan out of the chest and sent
for a carpenter and said to him, "Make me a cross of wood[478] for this
fellow!" Cried Badr al-Din Hasan, "And what wilt thou do with it?"; and
the Wazir replied, "I mean to crucify thee thereon, and nail thee
thereto and parade thee all about the city." "And why wilt thou use me
after this fashion?" "Because of thy villanous cookery of conserved
pomegranate-grains; how durst thou dress it and sell it lacking
pepper?" "And for that it lacked pepper wilt thou do all this to me? Is
it not enough that thou hast broken my shop and smashed my gear and
boxed me up in a chest and fed me only once a day?" "Too little pepper!
too little pepper! this is a crime which can be expiated only upon the
cross!" Then Badr al-Din Hasan marvelled and fell a-mourning for his
life; whereupon the Wazir asked him, "Of what thinkest thou?"; and he
answered him, "Of maggoty heads like thine;[479] for an thou had one
ounce of sense thou hadst not treated me thus." Quoth the Wazir, "It is
our duty to punish thee lest thou do the like again." Quoth Badr al-Din
Hasan, "Of a truth my offence were over-punished by the least of what
thou hast already done to me; and Allah damn all conserve of
pomegranate-grains and curse the hour when I cooked it and would I had
died ere this!" But the Wazir rejoined, "There is no help for it: I
must crucify a man who sells conserve of pomegranate-grains lacking
pepper." All this time the carpenter was shaping the wood and Badr
al-Din looked on; and thus they did till night, when his uncle took him
and clapped him into the chest, saying, "The thing shall be done
to-morrow!" Then he waited till he knew Badr al-Din Hasan to be asleep,
when he mounted; and, taking the chest up before him, entered the city
and rode on to his own house, where he alighted and said to his
daughter, Sitt al-Husn, "Praised be Allah who hath reunited thee with
thy husband, the son of thine uncle! Up now, and order the house as it
was on thy bridal night." So the servants arose and lit the candles;
and the Wazir took out his plan of the nuptial chamber, and directed
them what to do till they had set everything in its stead, so that
whoever saw it would have no doubt but it was the very night of the
marriage. Then he bade them put down Badr al-Din Hasan's turband on the
settle, as he had deposited it with his own hand, and in like manner
his bag-trousers and the purse which were under the mattress; and told
his daughter to undress herself and go to bed in the private chamber as
on her wedding-night, adding, "When the son of thine uncle comes in to
thee, say to him:—Thou hast loitered while going to the privy; and call
him to lie by thy side and keep him in converse till day-break, when we
will explain the whole matter to him." Then he bade take Badr al-Din
Hasan out of the chest, after loosing the fetters from his feet and
stripping off all that was on him save the fine shirt of blue silk in
which he had slept on his wedding-night; so that he was well nigh naked
and trouserless. All this was done whilst he was sleeping on utterly
unconscious. Then, by doom of Destiny, Badr al-Din Hasan turned over
and awoke; and, finding himself in a lighted vestibule, said to
himself, "Surely I am in the mazes of some dream." So he rose and went
on a little to an inner door and looked in and lo! he was in the very
chamber wherein the bride had been displayed to him; and there he saw
the bridal alcove and the settle and his turband and all his clothes.
When he saw this he was confounded and kept advancing with one foot,
and retiring with the other, saying, "Am I sleeping or waking?" And he
began rubbing his forehead and saying (for indeed he was thoroughly
astounded), "By Allah, verily this is the chamber of the bride who was
displayed before me! Where am I then? I was surely but now in a box!"
Whilst he was talking with himself, Sitt al-Husn suddenly lifted the
corner of the chamber-curtain and said, "O my lord, wilt thou not come
in? Indeed thou hast loitered long in the water-closet." When he heard
her words and saw her face he burst out laughing and said, "Of a truth
this is a very nightmare among dreams!" Then he went in sighing, and
pondered what had come to pass with him and was perplexed about his
case, and his affair became yet more obscure to him when he saw his
turband and bag-trousers and when, feeling the pocket, he found the
purse containing the thousand gold pieces. So he stood still and
muttered, "Allah is all knowing! Assuredly I am dreaming a wild waking
dream!" Then said the Lady of Beauty to him, "What ails thee to look
puzzled and perplexed?"; adding, "Thou wast a very different man during
the first of the night!" He laughed and asked her, "How long have I
been away from thee?"; and she answered him, "Allah preserve thee and
His Holy Name be about thee! Thou didst but go out an hour ago for an
occasion and return. Are thy wits clean gone?" When Badr al-Din Hasan
heard this, he laughed,[480] and said, "Thou hast spoken truth; but,
when I went out from thee, I forgot myself awhile in the draught-house
and dreamed that I was a cook at Damascus and abode there ten years;
and there came to me a boy who was of the sons of the great, and with
him an Eunuch." Here he passed his hand over his forehead and, feeling
the scar, cried, "By Allah, O my lady, it must have been true, for he
struck my forehead with a stone and cut it open from eye-brow to
eye-brow; and here is the mark: so it must have been on wake." Then he
added, "But perhaps I dreamt it when we fell asleep, I and thou, in
each other's arms, for meseems it was as though I travelled to Damascus
without tarbush and trousers and set up as a cook there." Then he was
perplexed and considered for awhile, and said, "By Allah, I also
fancied that I dressed a conserve of pomegranate-grains and put too
little pepper in it. By Allah, I must have slept in the numero-cent and
have seen the whole of this in a dream; but how long was that dream!"
"Allah upon thee," said Sitt al-Husn, "and what more sawest thou?" So
he related all to her; and presently said, "By Allah, had I not woke up
they would have nailed me to a cross of wood!" "Wherefore?" asked she;
and he answered, "For putting too little pepper in the conserve of
pomegranate-grains, and meseemed they demolished my shop and dashed to
pieces my pots and pans, destroyed all my stuff and put me in a box;
then they sent for the carpenter to fashion a cross for me and would
have crucified me thereon. Now Alhamdolillah! thanks be to Allah, for
that all this happened to me in sleep, and not on wake." Sitt al-Husn
laughed and clasped him to her bosom and he her to his: then he thought
again and said, "By Allah, it could not be save while I was awake:
truly I know not what to think of it." Then he lay him down and all the
night he was bewildered about his case, now saying, "I was dreaming!"
and then saying, "I was awake!", till morning, when his uncle Shams
al-Din, the Wazir, came to him and saluted him. When Badr al-Din Hasan
saw him he said, "By Allah, art thou not he who bade bind my hands
behind me and smash my shop and nail me to a cross on a matter of
conserved pomegranate-grains because the dish lacked a sufficiency of
pepper?" Whereupon the Wazir said to him, "Know, O my son, that truth
hath shown it soothfast and the concealed hath been revealed![481] Thou
art the son of my brother, and I did all this with thee to certify
myself that thou wast indeed he who went in unto my daughter that
night. I could not be sure of this, till I saw that thou knewest the
chamber and thy turband and thy trousers and thy gold and the papers in
thy writing and in that of thy father, my brother; for I had never seen
thee afore that and knew thee not; and as to thy mother I have
prevailed upon her to come with me from Bassorah." So saying, he threw
himself on his nephew's breast and wept for joy; and Badr al-Din Hasan,
hearing these words from his uncle, marvelled with exceeding marvel and
fell on his neck and also shed tears for excess of delight. Then said
the Wazir to him, "O my son, the sole cause of all this is what passed
between me and thy sire;" and he told him the manner of his father
wayfaring to Bassorah and all that had occurred to part them. Lastly
the Wazir sent for Ajib; and when his father saw him he cried, "And
this is he who struck me with the stone!" Quoth the Wazir "This is thy
son!" And Badr al-Din Hasan threw himself upon his boy and began
repeating:—
Long have I wept o'er severance' ban and bane, ✿ Long from mine eyelids
tear-rills rail and rain:
And vowèd I if Time re-union bring ✿ My tongue from name of "Severance"
I'll restrain:
Joy hath o'ercome me to this stress that I ✿ From joy's revulsion to
shed tears am fain:
Ye are so trained to tears, O eyne of me! ✿ You weep with pleasure as
you weep with pain.[482]
When he had ended his verse his mother came in and threw herself upon
him and began reciting:—
When we met we complained, ✿ Our hearts were sore wrung:
But plaint is not pleasant ✿ Fro' messenger's tongue.
Then she wept and related to him what had befallen her since his
departure, and he told her what he had suffered, and they thanked Allah
Almighty for their reunion. Two days after his arrival the Wazir Shams
al-Din went in to the Sultan and, kissing the ground between his hands,
greeted him with the greeting due to Kings. The Sultan rejoiced at his
return and his face brightened and, placing him hard by his side,[483]
asked him to relate all he had seen in his wayfaring and whatso had
betided him in his going and coming. So the Wazir told him all that had
passed from first to last and the Sultan said, "Thanks be to Allah for
thy victory[484] and the winning of thy wish and thy safe return to thy
children and thy people! And now I needs must see the son of thy
brother, Hasan of Bassorah, so bring him to the audience-hall
to-morrow." Shams al-Din replied, "Thy slave shall stand in thy
presence to-morrow, Inshallah, if it be God's will." Then he saluted
him and, returning to his own house, informed his nephew of the
Sultan's desire to see him, whereto replied Hasan, whilome the
Bassorite, "The slave is obedient to the orders of his lord." And the
result was that next day he accompanied his uncle, Shams al-Din, to the
Divan; and, after saluting the Sultan and doing him reverence in most
ceremonious obeisance and with most courtly obsequiousness, he began
improvising these verses:—
The first in rank to kiss the ground shall deign ✿ Before you, and all
ends and aims attain:
You are Honour's fount; and all that hope of you, ✿ Shall gain more
honour than Hope hoped to gain.
The Sultan smiled and signed to him to sit down. So he took a seat
close to his uncle, Shams al-Din, and the King asked him his name.
Quoth Badr al-Din Hasan, "The meanest of thy slaves is known as Hasan
the Bassorite, who is instant in prayer for thee day and night." The
Sultan was pleased at his words and, being minded to test his learning
and prove his good breeding, asked him, "Dost thou remember any verses
in praise of the mole on the cheek?" He answered, "I do," and began
reciting:—
When I think of my love and our parting-smart, ✿ My groans go forth and
my tears upstart:
He's a mole that reminds me in colour and charms ✿ O' the black o' the
eye and the grain[485] of the heart.
The King admired and praised the two couplets and said to him, "Quote
something else; Allah bless thy sire and may thy tongue never tire!" So
he began:—
That cheek-mole's spot they evened with a grain ✿ Of musk, nor did they
here the simile strain:
Nay, marvel at the face comprising all ✿ Beauty, nor falling short by
single grain.
The King shook with pleasure[486] and said to him, "Say more: Allah
bless thy days!" So he began:—
O you whose mole on cheek enthroned recalls ✿ A dot of musk upon a
stone of ruby,
Grant me your favours! Be not stone at heart! ✿ Core of my heart whose
only sustenance _you_ be!
Quoth the King, "Fair comparison, O Hasan![487] thou hast spoken
excellently well and hast proved thyself accomplished in every
accomplishment! Now explain to me how many meanings be there in the
Arabic language[488] for the word _Khál_ or _mole_." He replied, "Allah
keep the King! Seven and fifty and some by tradition say fifty." Said
the Sultan, "Thou sayest sooth," presently adding, "Hast thou knowledge
as to the points of excellence in beauty?" "Yes," answered Badr al-Din
Hasan, "Beauty consisteth in brightness of face, clearness of
complexion, shapeliness of nose, gentleness of eyes, sweetness of
mouth, cleverness of speech, slenderness of shape and seemliness of all
attributes." But the acme of beauty is in the hair and, indeed,
al-Shiháb the Hijazi hath brought together all these items in his
doggrel verse of the metre Rajaz[489] and it is this:—
Say thou to skin "Be soft," to face "Be fair;" ✿ And gaze, nor shall
they blame howso thou stare:
Fine nose in Beauty's list is high esteemed; ✿ Nor less an eye full,
bright and debonnair
Eke did they well to laud the lovely lips ✿ (Which e'en the sleep of me
will never spare);
A winning tongue, a stature tall and straight;[490] ✿ A seemly union of
gifts rarest rare:
But Beauty's acme in the hair one views it; ✿ So hear my strain and
with some few excuse it!
The Sultan was captivated by his converse and, regarding him as a
friend, asked, "What meaning is there in the saw "Shurayh is foxier
than the fox"?" And he answered, "Know, O King (whom Almighty Allah
keep!) that the legist Shurayh[491] was wont, during the days of the
plague, to make a visitation to Al-Najaf; and, whenever he stood up to
pray, there came a fox which would plant himself facing him and which,
by mimicking his movements, distracted him from his devotions. Now when
this became longsome to him, one day he doffed his shirt and set it
upon a cane and shook out the sleeves; then placing his turband on the
top and girding its middle with a shawl, he stuck it up in the place
where he used to pray. Presently up trotted the fox according to his
custom and stood over against the figure, whereupon Shurayh came behind
him, and took him." Hence the sayer saith, "Shurayh is foxier than the
fox." When the Sultan heard Badr al-Din Hasan's explanation he said to
his uncle, Shams al-Din, "Truly this the son of thy brother is perfect
in courtly breeding and I do not think that his like can be found in
Cairo." At this Hasan arose and kissed the ground before him and sat
down again as a Mameluke should sit before his master. When the Sultan
had thus assured himself of his courtly breeding and bearing and his
knowledge of the liberal arts and belles-lettres, he joyed with
exceeding joy and invested him with a splendid robe of honour and
promoted him to an office whereby he might better his condition.[492]
Then Badr al-Din Hasan arose and, kissing the ground before the King,
wished him continuance of glory and asked leave to retire with his
uncle, the Wazir Shams al-Din. The Sultan gave him leave and he issued
forth and the two returned home, where food was set before them and
they ate what Allah had given them. After finishing his meal Hasan
repaired to the sitting-chamber of his wife, the Lady of Beauty, and
told her what had past between him and the Sultan; whereupon quoth she,
"He cannot fail to make thee a cup-companion and give thee largesse in
excess and load thee with favours and bounties; so shalt thou, by
Allah's blessing, dispread, like the greater light, the rays of thy
perfection wherever thou be, on shore or on sea." Said he to her, "I
purpose to recite a Kasídah, an ode, in his praise, that he may
redouble in affection for me." "Thou art right in thine intent," she
answered, "so gather thy wits together and weigh thy words, and I shall
surely see my husband favoured with his highest favour." Thereupon
Hasan shut himself up and composed these couplets on a solid base and
abounding in inner grace and copied them out in a handwriting of the
nicest taste. They are as follows:—
Mine is a Chief who reached most haught estate, ✿ Treading the pathways
of the good and great:
His justice makes all regions safe and sure, ✿ And against froward foes
bars every gate:
Bold lion, hero, saint, e'en if you call ✿ Seraph or Sovran[493] he
with all may rate!
The poorest suppliant rich from him returns, ✿ All words to praise him
were inadequate.
He to the day of peace is saffron Morn, ✿ And murky Night in furious
warfare's bate.
Bow 'neath his gifts our necks, and by his deeds ✿ As King of
freeborn[494] souls he 'joys his state:
Allah increase for us his term of years, ✿ And from his lot avert all
risks and fears!
When he had finished transcribing the lines, he despatched them, in
charge of one of his uncle's slaves, to the Sultan, who perused them
and his fancy was pleased; so he read them to those present and all
praised them with the highest praise. Thereupon he sent for the writer
to his sitting chamber and said to him, "Thou art from this day forth
my boon-companion and I appoint to thee a monthly solde of a thousand
dirhams, over and above that I bestowed on thee aforetime." So Hasan
rose and, kissing the ground before the King several times, prayed for
the continuance of his greatness and glory and length of life and
strength. Thus Badr al-Din Hasan the Bassorite waxed high in honour and
his fame flew forth to many regions and he abode in all comfort and
solace and delight of life with his uncle and his own folk till Death
overtook him. When the Caliph Harun al-Rashid heard this story from the
mouth of his Wazir, Ja'afar the Barmecide, he marvelled much and said,
"It behoves that these stories be written in letters of liquid gold."
Then he set the slave at liberty and assigned to the youth who had
slain his wife such a monthly stipend as sufficed to make his life
easy; he also gave him a concubine from amongst his own slave-girls and
the young man became one of his cup-companions. "Yet this story"
(continued Shahrazad) "is in no wise stranger than the tale of the
Tailor and the Hunchback and the Jew and the Reeve and the Nazarene,
and what betided them." Quoth the King, "And what may that be?" So
Shahrazad began, in these words,[495]
-----
Footnote 363:
Arab. "Khila'ah" prop. what a man strips from his person: gen. an
honorary gift. It is something more than the "robe of honour" of our
chivalrous romances, as it includes a horse, a sword (often
gold-hilted), a black turban (amongst the Abbasides) embroidered with
gold, a violet-coloured mantle, a waist-shawl and a gold neck-chain
and shoe-buckles.
Footnote 364:
Arab. "Izá," _i.e._ the visits of condolence and so forth which are
long and terribly wearisome in the Moslem East.
Footnote 365:
Arab. "Mahr," the money settled by the man before marriage on the
woman and without which the contract is not valid. Usually half of it
is paid down on the marriage-day and the other half when the husband
dies or divorces his wife. But if she take a divorce she forfeits her
right to it, and obscene fellows, especially Persians, often compel
her to demand divorce by unnatural and preposterous use of her
person.
Footnote 366:
Bismillah here means "Thou art welcome to it."
Footnote 367:
Arab. "Bassak," half Pers. (bas=enough) and—ak=thou; for thee. "Bas"
sounds like our "buss" (to kiss) and there are sundry good old
Anglo-Indian jokes of feminine mistakes on the subject.
Footnote 368:
This saving clause makes the threat worse. The scene between the two
brothers is written with characteristic Arab humour; and it is true
to nature. In England we have heard of a man who separated from his
wife because he wished to dine at six and she preferred half-past
six.
Footnote 369:
Arab. "Misr" (vulg. Masr). The word, which comes of a very ancient
house, was applied to the present Capital about the time of its
conquest by the Osmanli Turks A.H. 923=1517.
Footnote 370:
The Arab. "Jízah,"=skirt, edge; the modern village is the site of an
ancient Egyptian city, as the "Ghizah inscription" proves (Brugsch,
History of Egypt, ii. 415).
Footnote 371:
Arab. "Watan" literally meaning "birth-place" but also used for
"patria, native country"; thus "Hubb al-Watan"=patriotism. The Turks
pronounce it "Vatan," which the French have turned into Va-t'en!
Footnote 372:
Arab. "Zarzariyah"=the colour of a stare or starling (Zurzúr).
Footnote 373:
Now a Railway Station on the Alexandria-Cairo line.
Footnote 374:
Even as late as 1852, when I first saw Cairo, the city was girt by
waste lands and the climate was excellent. Now cultivation comes up
to the house walls; while the Mahmudiyah Canal, the planting the
streets with avenues and over-watering have seriously injured it;
those who want the air of former Cairo must go to Thebes. Gout,
rheumatism and hydrophobia (before unknown) have become common of
late years.
Footnote 375:
This is the popular pronunciation: Yákút calls it "Bilbís."
Footnote 376:
An outlying village on the "Long Desert," between Cairo and
Palestine.
Footnote 377: