al-Basri, wholly neglecting the Gobbo who sat moping alone; and, when
she opened her eyes[417] she said, "O Allah make this man my goodman
and deliver me from the evil of this hunchbacked groom." As soon as
they had made an end of this part of the ceremony they dismissed the
wedding guests who went forth, women children and all, and none
remained save Hasan and the Hunchback, whilst the tirewomen led the
bride into an inner room to change her garb and gear and get her ready
for the bridegroom. Thereupon Quasimodo came up to Badr al-Din Hasan
and said, "O my lord, thou hast cheered us this night with thy good
company and overwhelmed us with thy kindness and courtesy; but now why
not get thee up and go?" "Bismillah;" he answered, "In Allah's name so
be it!"; and rising, he went forth by the door, where the Ifrit met him
and said, "Stay in thy stead, O Badr al-Din, and when the Hunchback
goes out to the closet of ease go in without losing time and seat
thyself in the alcove; and when the bride comes say to her:—'Tis I am
thy husband, for the King devised this trick only fearing for thee the
evil eye, and he whom thou sawest is but a Syce, a groom, one of our
stablemen. Then walk boldly up to her and unveil her face; for jealousy
hath taken us of this matter." While Hasan was still talking with the
Ifrit behold, the groom fared forth from the hall and entering the
closet of ease sat down on the stool. Hardly had he done this when the
Ifrit came out of the tank,[418] wherein the water was, in semblance of
a mouse and squeaked out "Zeek!" Quoth the Hunchback, "What ails
thee?"; and the mouse grew and grew till it became a coal-black cat and
caterwauled "Meeao! Meeao[419]"! Then it grew still more and more till
it became a dog and barked out "Owh! Owh!" When the bridegroom saw this
he was frightened and exclaimed "Out with thee, O unlucky one!"[420]
But the dog grew and swelled till it became an ass-colt that brayed and
snorted in his face "Hauk![421] Hauk!" Whereupon the Hunchback quaked
and cried, "Come to my aid, O people of the house!" But behold, the
ass-colt grew and became big as a buffalo and walled the way before him
and spake with the voice of the sons of Adam, saying, "Woe to thee, O
thou Bunch-back, thou stinkard, O thou filthiest of grooms!" Hearing
this the groom was seized with a colic and he sat down on the jakes in
his clothes with teeth chattering and knocking together. Quoth the
Ifrit, "Is the world so strait to thee thou findest none to marry save
my lady-love?" But as he was silent the Ifrit continued, "Answer me or
I will do thee dwell in the dust!" "By Allah," replied the Gobbo, "O
King of the Buffaloes, this is no fault of mine, for they forced me to
wed her; and verily I wot not that she had a lover amongst the
buffaloes; but now I repent, first before Allah and then before thee."
Said the Ifrit to him, "I swear to thee that if thou fare forth from
this place, or thou utter a word before sunrise, I assuredly will wring
thy neck. When the sun rises wend thy went and never more return to
this house." So saying, the Ifrit took up the Gobbo bridegroom and set
him head downwards and feet upwards in the slit of the privy,[422] and
said to him, "I will leave thee here but I shall be on the look-out for
thee till sunrise; and, if thou stir before then, I will seize thee by
the feet and dash out thy brains against the wall: so look out for thy
life!" Thus far concerning the Hunchback, but as regards Badr al-Din
Hasan of Bassorah he left the Gobbo and the Ifrit jangling and
wrangling and, going into the house, sat him down in the very middle of
the alcove; and behold, in came the bride attended by an old woman who
stood at the door and said, "O Father of Uprightness,[423] arise and
take what God giveth thee." Then the old woman went away and the bride,
Sitt al-Husn or the Lady of Beauty hight, entered the inner part of the
alcove broken-hearted and saying in herself, "By Allah I will never
yield my person to him; no, not even were he to take my life!" But as
she came to the further end she saw Badr al-Din Hasan and she said,
"Dearling! art thou still sitting here? By Allah I was wishing that
thou wert my bridegroom or, at least, that thou and the hunchbacked
horse-groom were partners in me." He replied, "O beautiful lady, how
should the Syce have access to thee, and how should he share in thee
with me?" "Then," quoth she, "who _is_ my husband, thou or he?" "Sitt
al-Husn," rejoined Hasan, "we have not done this for mere fun,[424] but
only as a device to ward off the evil eye from thee; for when the
tirewomen and singers and wedding guests saw thy beauty being displayed
to me, they feared fascination and thy father hired the horse-groom for
ten dinars and a porringer of meat to take the evil eye off us; and now
he hath received his hire and gone his gait." When the Lady of Beauty
heard these words she smiled and rejoiced and laughed a pleasant laugh.
Then she whispered him, "By the Lord thou hast quenched a fire which
tortured me and now, by Allah, O my little dark-haired darling, take me
to thee and press me to thy bosom!" Then she began singing:—
By Allah, set thy foot upon my soul; ✿ Since long, long years for this
alone I long:
And whisper tale of love in ear of me; ✿ To me 'tis sweeter than the
sweetest song!
No other youth upon my heart shall lie; ✿ So do it often, dear, and do
it long.
Then she stripped off her outer gear and she threw open her chemise
from the neck downwards and showed her parts genital and all the
rondure of her hips. When Badr al-Din saw the glorious sight his
desires were roused, and he arose and doffed his clothes, and wrapping
up in his bag-trousers[425] the purse of gold which he had taken from
the Jew and which contained the thousand dinars, he laid it under the
edge of the bedding. Then he took off his turband and set it upon the
settle[426] atop of his other clothes, remaining in his skull-cap and
fine shirt of blue silk laced with gold. Whereupon the Lady of Beauty
drew him to her and he did likewise. Then he took her to his embrace
and set her legs round his waist and point-blanked that cannon[427]
placed where it battereth down the bulwark of maidenhead and layeth it
waste. And he found her a pearl unpierced and unthridden and a filly by
all men save himself unridden; and he abated her virginity and had
joyance of her youth in his virility and presently he withdrew sword
from sheath; and then returned to the fray right eath; and when the
battle and the siege had finished, some fifteen assaults he had
furnished and she conceived by him that very night. Then he laid his
hand under her head and she did the same and they embraced and fell
asleep in each other's arms, as a certain poet said of such lovers in
these couplets:—
Visit thy lover, spurn what envy told; ✿ No envious churl shall smile
on love ensoul'd
Merciful Allah made no fairer sight ✿ Than coupled lovers single couch
doth hold;
Breast pressing breast and robed in joys their own, ✿ With pillowed
forearms cast in finest mould:
And when heart speaks to heart with tongue of love, ✿ Folk who would
part them hammer steel ice-cold:
If a fair friend[428] thou find who cleaves to thee, ✿ Live for that
friend, that friend in heart enfold.
O ye who blame for love us lover kind ✿ Say, can ye minister to
diseasèd mind?
This much concerning Badr al-Din Hasan and Sitt al-Husn his cousin; but
as regards the Ifrit, as soon as he saw the twain asleep, he said to
the Ifritah, "Arise; slip thee under the youth and let us carry him
back to his place ere dawn overtake us; for the day is nearhand."
Thereupon she came forward and, getting under him as he lay asleep,
took him up clad only in his fine blue shirt, leaving the rest of his
garments; and ceased not flying (and the Ifrit vying with her in
flight) till the dawn advised them that it had come upon them mid-way,
and the Muezzin began his call from the Minaret, "Haste ye to
salvation![429] Haste ye to salvation!" Then Allah suffered His angelic
host to shoot down the Ifrit with a shooting star,[430] so he was
consumed, but the Ifritah escaped and she descended with Badr al-Din at
the place where the Ifrit was burnt, and did not carry him back to
Bassorah, fearing lest he come to harm. Now by the order of Him who
predestineth all things, they alighted at Damascus of Syria, and the
Ifritah set down her burden at one of the city-gates and flew away.
When day arose and the doors were opened, the folk who came forth saw a
handsome youth, with no other raiment but his blue shirt of
gold-embroidered silk and skull-cap,[431] lying upon the ground drowned
in sleep after the hard labour of the night which had not suffered him
to take his rest. So the folk looking at him said, "O her luck with
whom this one spent the night! but would he had waited to don his
garments." Quoth another, "A sorry lot are the sons of great families!
Haply he but now came forth of the tavern on some occasion of his own
and his wine flew to his head,[432] whereby he hath missed the place he
was making for and strayed till he came to the gate of the city; and
finding it shut lay him down and went to by-by!" As the people were
bandying guesses about him suddenly the morning breeze blew upon Badr
al-Din and raising his shirt to his middle showed a stomach and navel
with something below it,[433] and legs and thighs clear as crystal and
smooth as cream. Cried the people, "By Allah he is a pretty fellow!";
and at the cry Badr al-Din awoke and found himself lying at a city-gate
with a crowd gathered around him. At this he greatly marvelled and
asked, "Where am I, O good folk; and what causeth you thus to gather
round me, and what have I had to do with you?"; and they answered, "We
found thee lying here asleep during the call to dawn-prayer and this is
all we know of the matter, but where diddest thou lie last night?"[434]
"By Allah, O good people," replied he, "I lay last night in Cairo."
Said somebody, "Thou hast surely been eating Hashísh;"[435] and
another, "He is a fool;" and a third, "He is a _citrouille_;" and a
fourth asked him, "Art thou out of thy mind? thou sleepest in Cairo and
thou wakest in the morning at the gate of Damascus-city!"[436] Cried
he, "By Allah, my good people, one and all, I lie not to you: indeed I
lay yesternight in the land of Egypt and yesternoon I was at Bassorah."
Quoth one, "Well! well!"; and quoth another, "Ho! ho!"; and a third,
"So! so!"; and a fourth cried, "This youth is mad, is possessed of the
Jinni!" So they clapped hands at him and said to one another, "Alas,
the pity of it for his youth: by Allah a madman! and madness is no
respecter of persons." Then said they to him, "Collect thy wits and
return to thy reason! How couldest thou be in Bassorah yesterday and in
Cairo yesternight and withal awake in Damascus this morning?" But he
persisted, "Indeed I was a bridegroom in Cairo last night." "Belike
thou hast been dreaming," rejoined they, "and sawest all this in thy
sleep." So Hasan took thought for a while and said to them, "By Allah,
this is no dream; nor vision-like doth it seem! I certainly was in
Cairo where they displayed the bride before me, in presence of a third
person, the Hunchback groom who was sitting hard by. By Allah, O my
brother, this be no dream, and if it were a dream, where is the bag of
gold I bore with me and where are my turband and my robe, and my
trousers?" Then he rose and entered the city, threading its highways
and by-ways and bazar-streets; and the people pressed upon him and
jeered at him, crying out "Madman! madman!" till he, beside himself
with rage, took refuge in a cook's shop. Now that Cook had been a
trifle too clever, that is, a rogue and thief; but Allah had made him
repent and turn from his evil ways and open a cook-shop; and all the
people of Damascus stood in fear of his boldness and his mischief. So
when the crowd saw the youth enter his shop, they dispersed being
afraid of him, and went their ways. The Cook looked at Badr al-Din and,
noting his beauty and loveliness, fell in love with him forthright and
said, "Whence comest thou, O youth? Tell me at once thy tale, for thou
art become dearer to me than my soul." So Hasan recounted to him all
that had befallen him from beginning to end (but in repetition there is
no fruition) and the Cook said, "O my lord Badr al-Din, doubtless thou
knowest that this case is wondrous and this story marvellous;
therefore, O my son, hide what hath betided thee, till Allah dispel
what ills be thine; and tarry with me here the meanwhile, for I have no
child and I will adopt thee." Badr al-Din replied, "Be it as thou wilt,
O my uncle!" Whereupon the Cook went to the bazar and bought him a fine
suit of clothes and made him don it; then fared with him to the Kazi,
and formally declared that he was his son. So Badr al-Din Hasan became
known in Damascus-city as the Cook's son and he sat with him in the
shop to take the silver, and on this wise he sojourned there for a
time. Thus far concerning him; but as regards his cousin, the Lady of
Beauty, when morning dawned she awoke and missed Badr al-Din Hasan from
her side; but she thought that he had gone to the privy and she sat
expecting him for an hour or so; when behold, entered her father Shams
al-Din Mohammed, Wazir of Egypt. Now he was disconsolate by reason of
what had befallen him through the Sultan, who had entreated him harshly
and had married his daughter by force to the lowest of his menials and
he too a lump of a groom hunchbacked withal, and he said to himself, "I
will slay this daughter of mine if of her own free will she have
yielded her person to this accursed carle." So he came to the door of
the bride's private chamber, and said, "Ho! Sitt al-Husn." She answered
him, "Here am I! here am I![437] O my lord," and came out unsteady of
gait after the pains and pleasures of the night; and she kissed his
hand, her face showing redoubled brightness and beauty for having lain
in the arms of that gazelle, her cousin. When her father, the Wazir,
saw her in such case, he asked her, "O thou accursed, art thou
rejoicing because of this horse-groom?", and Sitt al-Husn smiled
sweetly and answered, "By Allah, don't ridicule me: enough of what
passed yesterday when folk laughed at me, and evened me with that
groom-fellow who is not worthy to bring my husband's shoes or slippers;
nay who is not worth the paring of my husband's nails! By the Lord,
never in my life have I nighted a night so sweet as yesternight!, so
don't mock by reminding me of the Gobbo." When her parent heard her
words he was filled with fury, and his eyes glared and stared, so that
little of them showed save the whites and he cried, "Fie upon thee!
What words are these? 'Twas the hunchbacked horse-groom who passed the
night with thee!" "Allah upon thee," replied the Lady of Beauty, "do
not worry me about the Gobbo, Allah damn his father;[438] and leave
jesting with me; for this groom was only hired for ten dinars and a
porringer of meat and he took his wage and went his way. As for me I
entered the bridal-chamber, where I found my true bridegroom sitting,
after the singer-women had displayed me to him; the same who had
crossed their hands with red gold, till every pauper that was present
waxed wealthy; and I passed the night on the breast of my bonny man, a
most lively darling, with his black eyes and joined eyebrows."[439]
When her parent heard these words the light before his face became
night, and he cried out at her saying, "O thou whore! What is this thou
tellest me? Where be thy wits?" "O my father," she rejoined, "thou
breakest my heart; enough for thee that thou hast been so hard upon me!
Indeed my husband who took my virginity is but just now gone to the
draught house and I feel that I have conceived by him."[440] The Wazir
rose in much marvel and entered the privy where he found the
hunchbacked horse-groom with his head in the hole and his heels in the
air. At this sight he was confounded and said, "This is none other than
he, the rascal Hunchback!" So he called to him, "Ho, Hunchback!" The
Gobbo grunted out, "_Taghúm! Taghúm!_"[441] thinking it was the Ifrit
spoke to him; so the Wazir shouted at him and said, "Speak out, or I'll
strike off thy pate with this sword." Then quoth the Hunchback, "By
Allah, O Shaykh of the Ifrits, ever since thou settest me in this
place, I have not lifted my head; so Allah upon thee, take pity and
entreat me kindly!" When the Wazir heard this he asked, "What is this
thou sayest? I'm the bride's father and no Ifrit." "Enough for thee
that thou hast well nigh done me die," answered Quasimodo; "now go thy
ways before he come upon thee who hath served me thus. Could ye not
marry me to any save the lady-love of buffaloes and the beloved of
Ifrits? Allah curse her and curse him who married me to her and was the
cause of this my case."——And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day, and
ceased to say her permitted say.
Now when it was the Twenty-third Night,
She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that the hunchbacked
groom spake to the bride's father saying, "Allah curse him who was the
cause of this my case!" Then said the Wazir to him, "Up and out of this
place!" "Am I mad," cried the groom, "that I should go with thee
without leave of the Ifrit whose last words to me were:—When the sun
rises, arise and go thy gait. So hath the sun risen or no?; for I dare
not budge from this place till then." Asked the Wazir, "Who brought
thee hither?"; and he answered "I came here yesternight for a call of
nature and to do what none can do for me, when lo! a mouse came out of
the water, and squeaked at me and swelled and waxed gross till it was
big as a buffalo, and spoke to me words that entered my ears. Then he
left me here and went away, Allah curse the bride and him who married
me to her!" The Wazir walked up to him and lifted his head out of the
cess-pool hole; and he fared forth running for dear life and hardly
crediting that the sun had risen; and repaired to the Sultan to whom he
told all that had befallen him with the Ifrit. But the Wazir returned
to the bride's private chamber, sore troubled in spirit about her, and
said to her, "O my daughter, explain this strange matter to me!" Quoth
she, "'Tis simply this. The bridegroom to whom they displayed me
yester-eve lay with me all night, and took my virginity and I am with
child by him. He is my husband and if thou believe me not, there are
his turband, twisted as it was, lying on the settle and his dagger and
his trousers beneath the bed with a something, I wot not what, wrapped
up in them." When her father heard this he entered the private chamber
and found the turband which had been left there by Badr al-Din Hasan,
his brother's son, and he took it in hand and turned it over, saying,
"This is the turband worn by Wazirs, save that it is of Mosul
stuff."[442] So he opened it and, finding what seemed to be an amulet
sewn up in the Fez, he unsewed the lining and took it out; then he
lifted up the trousers wherein was the purse of the thousand gold
pieces and, opening that also, found in it a written paper. This he
read and it was the sale-receipt of the Jew in the name of Badr al-Din
Hasan, son of Nur al-Din Ali, the Egyptian; and the thousand dinars
were also there. No sooner had Shams al-Din read this than he cried out
with a loud cry and fell to the ground fainting; and as soon as he
revived and understood the gist of the matter he marvelled and said,
"There is no god, but _the_ God, whose All-might is over all things!
Knowest thou, O my daughter, who it was that became the husband of thy
virginity?" "No," answered she, and he said, "Verily he is the son of
my brother, thy cousin, and this thousand dinars is thy dowry. Praise
be to Allah! and would I wot how this matter came about!" Then opened
he the amulet which was sewn up and found therein a paper in the
handwriting of his deceased brother, Nur al-Din the Egyptian, father of
Badr al-Din Hasan; and, when he saw the handwriting, he kissed it again
and again; and he wept and wailed over his dead brother and improvised
these lines:—
I see their traces and with pain I melt, ✿ And on their whilome homes I
weep and yearn:
And Him I pray who dealt this parting-blow ✿ Some day he deign
vouchsafe a safe return.[443]