seating herself upon his lap and knees, pointed to her genitory and
said, "O my lordling, what be the name of this?" Quoth he, "The basil
of the bridges;" but she said, "Bah, bah!" Quoth he, "The husked
sesame;" quoth she, "Pooh, pooh!" Then said he, "Thy womb;" and she
cried, "Fie, Fie! art thou not ashamed of thyself?" and cuffed him on
the nape of the neck. And whatever name he gave declaring "'Tis so,"
she beat him and cried "No! no!" till at last he said, "O my sisters,
and what _is_ its name?" She replied, "It is entitled the Khan[162] of
Abu Mansur;" whereupon the Porter replied, "Ha! ha! O Allah be praised
for safe deliverance! O Khan of Abu Mansur!" Then she came forth and
dressed and the cup went round a full hour. At last the Porter rose up,
and stripping off all his clothes, jumped into the tank and swam about
and washed under his bearded chin and armpits, even as they had done.
Then he came out and threw himself into the first lady's lap and rested
his arms upon the lap of the portress, and reposed his legs in the lap
of the cateress and pointed to his prickle[163] and said, "O my
mistresses, what is the name of this article?" All laughed at his words
till they fell on their backs, and one said, "Thy pintle!" But he
replied, "No!" and gave each one of them a bite by way of forfeit. Then
said they, "Thy pizzle!" but he cried "No," and gave each of them a
hug;——And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased saying her
permitted say.
Now when it was the Tenth Night,
Quoth her sister Dunyazad, "Finish for us thy story;" and she answered,
"With joy and goodly gree." It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that
the damsels stinted not saying to the Porter "Thy prickle, thy pintle,
thy pizzle," and he ceased not kissing and biting and hugging until his
heart was satisfied, and they laughed on till they could no more. At
last one said, "O our brother, what, then, is it called?" Quoth he,
"Know ye not?" Quoth they, "No!" "Its veritable name," said he, "is
mule Burst-all, which browseth on the basil of the bridges, and
muncheth the husked sesame, and nighteth in the Khan of Abu Mansur."
Then laughed they till they fell on their backs, and returned to their
carousal, and ceased not to be after this fashion till night began to
fall. Thereupon said they to the Porter, "Bismillah,[164] O our master,
up and on with those sorry old shoes of thine and turn thy face and
show us the breadth of thy shoulders!" Said he, "By Allah, to part with
my soul would be easier for me than departing from you: come let us
join night to day, and to-morrow morning we will each wend our own
way." "My life on you," said the procuratrix, "suffer him to tarry with
us, that we may laugh at him: we may live out our lives and never meet
with his like, for surely he is a right merry rogue and a witty."[165]
So they said, "Thou must not remain with us this night save on
condition that thou submit to our commands, and that whatso thou seest,
thou ask no questions thereanent, nor enquire of its cause." "All
right," rejoined he, and they said, "Go read the writing over the
door." So he rose and went to the entrance and there found written in
letters of gold wash; "WHOSO SPEAKETH OF WHAT CONCERNETH HIM NOT, SHALL
HEAR WHAT PLEASETH HIM NOT!"[166] The Porter said, "Be ye witnesses
against me that I will not speak on whatso concerneth me not." Then the
cateress arose, and set food before them and they ate; after which they
changed their drinking-place for another, and she lighted the lamps and
candles and burned ambergris and aloes-wood, and set on fresh fruit and
the wine service, when they fell to carousing and talking of their
lovers. And they ceased not to eat and drink and chat, nibbling dry
fruits and laughing and playing tricks for the space of a full hour
when lo! a knock was heard at the gate. The knocking in no wise
disturbed the seance, but one of them rose and went to see what it was
and presently returned, saying, "Truly our pleasure for this night is
to be perfect." "How is that?" asked they; and she answered, "At the
gate be three Persian Kalandars[167] with their beards and heads and
eyebrows shaven; and all three blind of the left eye—which is surely a
strange chance. They are foreigners from Roum-land with the mark of
travel plain upon them; they have just entered Baghdad, this being
their first visit to our city; and the cause of their knocking at our
door is simply because they cannot find a lodging. Indeed one of them
said to me:—Haply the owner of this mansion will let us have the key of
his stable or some old outhouse wherein we may pass this night; for
evening had surprised them and, being strangers in the land, they knew
none who would give them shelter. And, O my sisters, each of them is a
figure o' fun after his own fashion; and if we let them in we shall
have matter to make sport of." She gave not over persuading them till
they said to her, "Let them in, and make thou the usual condition with
them that they speak not of what concerneth them not, lest they hear
what pleaseth them not." So she rejoiced and going to the door
presently returned with the three monoculars whose beards and
mustachios were clean shaven.[168] They salam'd and stood afar off by
way of respect; but the three ladies rose up to them and welcomed them
and wished them joy of their safe arrival and made them sit down. The
Kalandars looked at the room and saw that it was a pleasant place,
clean swept and garnished with flowers; and the lamps were burning and
the smoke of perfumes was spiring in air; and beside the dessert and
fruits and wine, there were three fair girls who might be maidens; so
they exclaimed with one voice, "By Allah, 'tis good!" Then they turned
to the Porter and saw that he was a merry-faced wight, albeit he was by
no means sober and was sore after his slappings. So they thought that
he was one of themselves and said, "A mendicant like us! whether Arab
or foreigner."[169] But when the Porter heard these words, he rose up,
and fixing his eyes fiercely upon them, said, "Sit ye here without
exceeding in talk! Have you not read what is writ over the door? surely
it befitteth not fellows who come to us like paupers to wag your
tongues at us." "We crave thy pardon, O Fakír,"[170] rejoined they,
"and our heads are between thy hands." The ladies laughed consumedly at
the squabble; and, making peace between the Kalandars and the Porter,
seated the new guests before meat and they ate. Then they sat together,
and the portress served them with drink; and, as the cup went round
merrily, quoth the Porter to the askers, "And you, O brothers mine,
have ye no story or rare adventure to amuse us withal?" Now the warmth
of wine having mounted to their heads they called for musical
instruments; and the portress brought them a tambourine of Mosul, and a
lute of Irák, and a Persian harp; and each mendicant took one and tuned
it; this the tambourine and those the lute and the harp, and struck up
a merry tune while the ladies sang so lustily that there was a great
noise.[171] And whilst they were carrying on, behold, some one knocked
at the gate, and the portress went to see what was the matter there.
Now the cause of that knocking, O King (quoth Shahrazad) was this, the
Caliph, Hárún al-Rashíd, had gone forth from the palace, as was his
wont now and then, to solace himself in the city that night, and to see
and hear what new thing was stirring; he was in merchant's gear, and he
was attended by Ja'afar, his Wazir, and by Masrúr his Sworder of
Vengeance.[172] As they walked about the city, their way led them
towards the house of the three ladies; where they heard the loud noise
of musical instruments and singing and merriment; so quoth the Caliph
to Ja'afar, "I long to enter this house and hear those songs and see
who sing them." Quoth Ja'afar, "O Prince of the Faithful; these folk
are surely drunken with wine, and I fear some mischief betide us if we
get amongst them." "There is no help but that I go in there," replied
the Caliph, "and I desire thee to contrive some pretext for our
appearing among them." Ja'afar replied, "I hear and I obey;"[173] and
knocked at the door, whereupon the portress came out and opened. Then
Ja'afar came forward and kissing the ground before her said, "O my
lady, we be merchants from Tiberias-town: we arrived at Baghdad ten
days ago; and, alighting at the merchants' caravanserai, we sold all
our merchandise. Now a certain trader invited us to an entertainment
this night; so we went to his house and he set food before us and we
ate: then we sat at wine and wassail with him for an hour or so when he
gave us leave to depart; and we went out from him in the shadow of the
night and, being strangers, we could not find our way back to our Khan.
So haply of your kindness and courtesy you will suffer us to tarry with
you this night, and Heaven will reward you!"[174] The portress looked
upon them and seeing them dressed like merchants and men of grave looks
and solid, she returned to her sisters and repeated to them Ja'afar's
story; and they took compassion upon the strangers and said to her,
"Let them enter." She opened the door to them, when said they to her,
"Have we thy leave to come in?" "Come in," quoth she; and the Caliph
entered followed by Ja'afar and Masrur; and when the girls saw them
they stood up to them in respect and made them sit down and looked to
their wants, saying, "Welcome, and well come and good cheer to the
guests, but with one condition!" "What is that?" asked they, and one of
the ladies answered, "Speak not of what concerneth you not, lest ye
hear what pleaseth you not." "Even so," said they; and sat down to
their wine and drank deep. Presently the Caliph looked on the three
Kalandars and, seeing them each and every blind of the left eye,
wondered at the sight; then he gazed upon the girls and he was startled
and he marvelled with exceeding marvel at their beauty and loveliness.
They continued to carouse and to converse and said to the Caliph,
"Drink!" but he replied, "I am vowed to Pilgrimage;"[175] and drew back
from the wine. Thereupon the portress rose and spreading before him a
table-cloth worked with gold, set thereon a porcelain bowl into which
she poured willow flower water with a lump of snow and a spoonful of
sugar-candy. The Caliph thanked her and said in himself, "By Allah, I
will recompense her to-morrow for the kind deed she hath done." The
others again addressed themselves to conversing and carousing; and,
when the wine gat the better of them, the eldest lady who ruled the
house rose and making obeisance to them took the cateress by the hand,
and said, "Rise, O my sister and let us do what is our devoir." Both
answered "Even so!" Then the portress stood up and proceeded to remove
the table-service and the remnants of the banquet; and renewed the
pastiles and cleared the middle of the saloon. Then she made the
Kalandars sit upon a sofa at the side of the estrade, and seated the
Caliph and Ja'afar and Masrur on the other side of the saloon; after
which she called the Porter, and said, "How scant is thy courtesy! now
thou art no stranger; nay, thou art one of the household." So he stood
up and, tightening his waist-cloth, asked, "What would ye I do?" and
she answered, "Stand in thy place." Then the procuratrix rose and set
in the midst of the saloon a low chair and, opening a closet, cried to
the Porter, "Come help me," So he went to help her and saw two black
bitches with chains round their necks; and she said to him, "Take hold
of them;" and he took them and led them into the middle of the saloon.
Then the lady of the house arose and tucked up her sleeves above her
wrists and, seizing a scourge, said to the Porter, "Bring forward one
of the bitches." He brought, her forward, dragging her by the chain,
while the bitch wept, and shook her head at the lady who, however, came
down upon her with blows on the sconce; and the bitch howled and the
lady ceased not beating her till her forearm failed her. Then, casting
the scourge from her hand, she pressed the bitch to her bosom and,
wiping away her tears with her hands, kissed her head. Then said she to
the Porter, "Take her away and bring the second;" and, when he brought
her, she did with her as she had done with the first. Now the heart of
the Caliph was touched at these cruel doings; his chest straitened and
he lost all patience in his desire to know why the two bitches were so
beaten. He threw a wink at Ja'afar wishing him to ask, but the Minister
turning towards him said by signs, "Be silent!" Then quoth the portress
to the mistress of the house, "O my lady, arise and go to thy place
that I in turn may do my devoir."[176] She answered, "Even so"; and,
taking her seat upon the couch of juniper-wood, pargetted with, gold
and silver, said to the portress and cateress, "Now do ye what ye have
to do." Thereupon the portress sat upon a low seat by the couch side;
but the procuratrix, entering a closet, brought out of it a bag of
satin with green fringes and two tassels of gold. She stood up before
the lady of the house and shaking the bag drew out from it a lute which
she tuned by tightening its pegs; and when it was in perfect order, she
began to sing these quatrains:—
Ye are the wish, the aim of me ✿ And when, O love, thy sight I see[177]
The heavenly mansion openeth;[178] ✿ But Hell I see when lost thy
sight.
From thee comes madness; nor the less ✿ Comes highest joy, comes
ecstasy:
Nor in my love for thee I fear ✿ Or shame and blame, or hate and spite.
When Love was throned within my heart ✿ I rent the veil of modesty;
And stints not Love to rend that veil ✿ Garring disgrace on grace to
alight;
The robe of sickness then I donned ✿ But rent to rags was secrecy:
Wherefore my love and longing heart ✿ Proclaim your high supremest
might;
The tear-drop railing adown my cheek ✿ Telleth my tale of ignomy:
And all the hid was seen by all ✿ And all my riddle ree'd aright.
Heal then my malady, for thou ✿ Art malady and remedy!
But she whose cure is in thy hand ✿ Shall ne'er be free of bane and
blight;
Burn me those eyne that radiance rain ✿ Slay me the swords of phantasy;
How many hath the sword of Love ✿ Laid low, their high degree despite?
Yet will I never cease to pine ✿ Nor to oblivion will I flee.
Love is my health, my faith, my joy ✿ Public and private, wrong or
right.
O happy eyes that sight thy charms ✿ That gaze upon thee at their gree!
Yea, of my purest wish and will ✿ The slave of Love I'll aye be hight.
When the damsel heard this elegy in quatrains she cried out "Alas!
Alas!" and rent her raiment, and fell to the ground fainting; and the
Caliph saw scars of the palm-rod[179] on her back and welts of the
whip; and marvelled with exceeding wonder. Then the portress arose and
sprinkled water on her and brought her a fresh and very fine dress and
put it on her. But when the company beheld these doings their minds
were troubled, for they had no inkling of the case nor knew the story
thereof; so the Caliph said to Ja'afar, "Didst thou not see the scars
upon the damsel's body? I cannot keep silence or be at rest till I
learn the truth of her condition and the story of this other maiden and
the secret of the two black bitches." But Ja'afar answered, "O our
lord, they made it a condition with us that we speak not of what
concerneth us not, lest we come to hear what pleaseth us not." Then
said the portress, "By Allah, O my sister, come to me and complete this
service for me." Replied the procuratrix, "With joy and goodly gree;"
so she took the lute; and leaned it against her breasts and swept the
strings with her finger-tips, and began singing:—
Give back mine eyes their sleep long ravishèd ✿ And say me whither be
my reason fled:
I learnt that lending to thy love a place ✿ Sleep to mine eyelids
mortal foe was made.
They said, "We held thee righteous, who waylaid ✿ Thy soul?" "Go ask
his glorious eyes," I said.
I pardon all my blood he pleased to spill ✿ Owning his troubles drove
him blood to shed.
On my mind's mirror sun-like sheen he cast ✿ Whose keen reflection fire
in vitals bred
Waters of Life let Allah waste at will ✿ Suffice my wage those lips of
dewy red:
An thou address my love thou'lt find a cause ✿ For plaint and tears or
ruth or lustihed.
In water pure his form shall greet your eyne ✿ When fails the bowl nor
need ye drink of wine.[180]
Then she quoted from the same ode:—
I drank, but the draught of his glance, not wine; ✿ And his swaying
gait swayed to sleep these eyne:
'Twas not grape-juice gript me but grasp of Past ✿ 'Twas not bowl
o'erbowled me but gifts divine:
His coiling curl-lets my soul ennetted ✿ And his cruel will all my wits
outwitted.[181]
After a pause she resumed:—
If we 'plain of absence what shall we say? ✿ Or if pain afflict us
where wend our way?
An I hire a truchman[182] to tell my tale ✿ The lovers' plaint is not
told for pay:
If I put on patience, a lover's life ✿ After loss of love will not last
a day:
Naught is left me now but regret, repine ✿ And tears flooding cheeks
for ever and aye:
O thou who the babes of these eyes[183] hast fled ✿ Thou art homed in
heart that shall never stray;
Would heaven I wot hast thou kept our pact ✿ Long as stream shall flow,
to have firmest fay?
Or hast forgotten the weeping slave ✿ Whom groans afflict and whom
griefs waylay?
Ah, when severance ends and we side by side ✿ Couch, I'll blame thy
rigours and chide thy pride!
Now when the portress heard her second ode she shrieked aloud and said,
"By Allah! 'tis right good!"; and laying hands on her garments tore
them, as she did the first time, and fell to the ground fainting.
Thereupon the procuratrix rose and brought her a second change of
clothes after she had sprinkled water on her. She recovered and sat
upright and said to her sister the cateress, "Onwards, and help me in
my duty, for there remains but this one song." So the provisioneress
again brought out the lute and began to sing these verses:—
How long shall last, how long this rigour rife of woe ✿ May not suffice
thee all these tears thou seest flow?
Our parting thus with purpose fell thou dost prolong ✿ Is't not enough
to glad the heart of envious foe?
Were but this lying world once true to lover-heart ✿ He had not watched
the weary night in tears of woe:
Oh pity me whom overwhelmed thy cruel will ✿ My lord, my king, 'tis
time some ruth to me thou show:
To whom reveal my wrongs, O thou who murdered me? ✿ Sad, who of broken
troth the pangs must undergo!
Increase wild love for thee and phrenzy hour by hour ✿ And days of
exile minute by so long, so slow;
O Moslems, claim _vendetta_[184] for this slave of Love ✿ Whose sleep
Love ever wastes, whose patience Love lays low:
Doth law of Love allow thee, O my wish! to lie ✿ Lapt in another's arms
and unto me cry "Go!"?
Yet in thy presence, say, what joys shall I enjoy ✿ When he I love but
works my love to overthrow?
When the portress heard the third song she cried aloud; and, laying
hands on her garments, rent them down to the very skirt and fell to the
ground fainting a third time, again showing the scars of the scourge.
Then said the three Kalandars, "Would Heaven we had never entered this
house, but had rather nighted on the mounds and heaps outside the city!
for verily our visit hath been troubled by sights which cut to the
heart." The Caliph turned to them and asked, "Why so?" and they made
answer, "Our minds are sore troubled by this matter." Quoth the Caliph,
"Are ye not of the household?" and quoth they, "No; nor indeed did we
ever set eyes on the place till within this hour." Hereat the Caliph
marvelled and rejoined, "This man who sitteth by you, would he not know
the secret of the matter?" and so saying he winked and made signs at
the Porter. So they questioned the man but he replied, "By the
All-might of Allah, in love all are alike![185] I am the growth of
Baghdad, yet never in my born days did I darken these doors till to-day
and my companying with them was a curious matter." "By Allah," they
rejoined, "we took thee for one of them and now we see thou art one
like ourselves." Then said the Caliph, "We be seven men, and they only
three women without even a fourth to help them; so let us question them
of their case; and, if they answer us not, fain we will be answered by
force." All of them agreed to this except Ja'afar who said,[186] "This
is not my recking; let them be; for we are their guests and, as ye
know, they made a compact and condition with us which we accepted and
promised to keep: wherefore it is better that we be silent concerning
this matter; and, as but little of the night remaineth, let each and
every of us gang his own gait." Then he winked at the Caliph and
whispered to him, "There is but one hour of darkness left and I can
bring them before thee to-morrow, when thou canst freely question them
all concerning their story." But the Caliph raised his head haughtily
and cried out at him in wrath, saying, "I have no patience left for my
longing to hear of them: let the Kalandars question them forthright."
Quoth Ja'afar, "This is not my rede." Then words ran high and talk
answered talk; and they disputed as to who should first put the
question, but at last all fixed upon the Porter. And as the jangle
increased the house-mistress could not but notice it and asked them, "O
ye folk! on what matter are ye talking so loudly?" Then the Porter
stood up respectfully before her and said, "O my lady, this company
earnestly desire that thou acquaint them with the story of the two
bitches and what maketh thee punish them so cruelly; and then thou
fallest to weeping over them and kissing them; and lastly they want to
hear the tale of thy sister and why she hath been bastinado'd with
palm-sticks like a man. These are the questions they charge me to put,
and peace be with thee."[187] Thereupon quoth she who was the lady of
the house to the guests, "Is this true that he saith on your part?" and
all replied, "Yes!" save Ja'afar who kept silence. When she heard these
words she cried, "By Allah, ye have wronged us, O our guests, with
grievous wronging; for when you came before us we made compact and
condition with you, that whoso should speak of what concerneth him not
should hear what pleaseth him not. Sufficeth ye not that we took you
into our house and fed you with our best food? But the fault is not so
much yours as hers who let you in." Then she tucked up her sleeves from
her wrists and struck the floor thrice with her hand crying, "Come ye
quickly;" and lo! a closet door opened and out of it came seven negro
slaves with drawn swords in hand to whom she said, "Pinion me those
praters' elbows and bind them each to each." They did her bidding and
asked her, "O veiled and virtuous! is it thy high command that we
strike off their heads?"; but she answered, "Leave them awhile that I
question them of their condition, before their necks feel the sword."
"By Allah, O my lady!" cried the Porter, "slay me not for other's sin;
all these men offended and deserve the penalty of crime save myself.
Now by Allah, our night had been charming had we escaped the
mortification of those monocular Kalandars whose entrance into a
populous city would convert it into a howling wilderness." Then he
repeated these verses:—
How fair is ruth the strong man deigns not smother! ✿ And fairest fair
when shown to weakest brother:
By Love's own holy tie between us twain, ✿ Let one not suffer for the
sin of other.
When the Porter ended his verse the lady laughed——And Shahrazad
perceived the dawn of day and ceased to say her permitted say.
Now when it was the Eleventh Night,