CHAPTER VI

Joan made her way home--how, she hardly knew. In the confusion of

thought succeeding that terrible interview which had successfully shown

her she was in the power of a merciless tyrant, instinct guided her.

After Victor Mercier had put her into a cab, and she had alighted from

it in a thoroughfare near her uncle's house, she let herself in with the

latchkey she had playfully annexed, little dreaming how she would need

to use it--and meeting no one as she made her way up to her room, locked

herself in to face her misery alone.

As she tossed and writhed through the long, miserable night she almost

despaired. Perhaps she would have utterly and entirely lost heart, had

not a thought flashed upon her mind--an idea she welcomed as an

inspiration.

"There is only one way to escape the grip of that savage tiger--flight!"

she told herself. Although the sole tie between them was the hasty

ceremony in a Registrar's office he had cajoled her into years

ago--although she had met him but once afterwards before he absconded

and disappeared, and that was in the very spot where their interview a

few hours before had taken place, she believed, indeed she knew, that

for her to try to undo that knot would entail publicity--disgrace--even

shame--that if she endured the ordeal, she would emerge unfit to be

Vansittart's wife. If _he_ forgave her, even her uncle--society could

and would never overlook the smirch upon her fair girlhood. She would

bear a brand.

"Victor gave me the idea, himself," she told herself, with a bitter

smile at the irony of the fact. "He--the man who is legally my husband

until he chooses to renounce me"--in her ignorance of the law she

fancied that Victor Mercier might divorce her quietly in some way, if he

pleased--"proposed that we should disappear together, and frighten my

uncle into a concession. What if I disappeared alone--and only allowed

one person to find me--Vansittart?"

That Vansittart loved her passionately, with all the fervour and

intensity of a strong, virile nature, she knew. Whether the love was

mad enough to fall in with any wildly romantic proceeding, she had yet

to discover.

"He will seek me as soon as he can!" she correctly thought. As she was

crossing the hall after breakfasting with her uncle, who--in his hopes

that his only niece and adopted daughter and heiress was thinking better

of her aloofness to mankind, and melting in regard to his favourite

among her many admirers, Lord Vansittart--had been unwontedly urbane and

affectionate, a telegram was brought to her.

"If I may see you at twelve, noon, do not reply.--Vansittart."

At noon her uncle would be at his club, and her aunt had, she knew, an

appointment with her dressmaker in Bond Street. She went to her room

and spent some little time in deciding upon her toilette. How did she

look best, or, rather, how should she be attired to appeal most strongly

to Vansittart's imagination and senses?

Most women are born with subtle instincts in regard to the weakness of

manhood, especially the manhood already to a certain extent in their

power. Joan hardly knew why she felt that a certain dishabille--a

suggestion of delicacy and fragile helplessness in her appearance, would

place Vansittart more entirely at her mercy; but it was with this

conviction that she attired herself in a white, soft, silken and

lace-adorned tea-gown, with lace ruffles about her smooth, rounded

throat and wrists--a robe that fell away from a pink silk underdress

which, fitting tightly about her waist, showed the rich, yet girlish

curves of her beautiful form to the fullest advantage.

Her hair had been wound somewhat carelessly but classically about her

small head by Julie, who was rather excited at having received an offer

of marriage. Joan had listened sympathetically--she had encouraged the

girl in her love affair, more, perhaps, because it would serve her own

interests, being one which was to remain a secret from "his parents in

France" until they had seen Julie, and therefore subject to mysterious

"evenings-out" and holidays taken, with other explanations to the

housekeeper. Altogether there was a certain softness about her whole

appearance, Joan considered, as she anxiously gazed at her reflection in

the many mirrors she passed proceeding to her boudoir, which was on the

same floor as the drawing-rooms, and opened upon a small balcony full of

flowers, with a peep of the enclosure and the Park beyond, just under

the red and white awning.

It was eleven when she entered her room and set herself to write a whole

host of letters. She had barely finished three before a brougham dashed

up to the hall door. She started up, her heart beating, her cheeks

aflame.

"It cannot be--why, it is hardly a quarter to twelve," she thought,

glancing at the Dresden china clock. But even as she spoke she heard

his voice--those musical, resonant, manly tones she loved--and in

another moment the groom of the chambers announced, "Lord Vansittart,"

with an assurance which seemed strange to Joan, unaware of the

freemasonry below stairs which enlightened the domestic staff as to the

wishes and opinions of the master of the house.

As he came in, tall, his fair, wavy hair flung back from his broad brow;

his large, frank eyes alight, his cheeks aglow with passion; some

suggestion of a conqueror in his mien--his very fervour and exultation

were infectious--she could have fallen into his arms and abandoned

herself to his embraces as if there were no obstacle to their mutual

love.

As it was she merely gave one limp, chill hand into his eager clasp, and

cast down her eyes as he said: "I am early--I could not help it--Joan,

Joan, what is it? You are not glad to see me"--his voice faltered.

"Sit down--won't you?" she said, and she sank into a low chair and

motioned him to one out in the cold--but he would not understand--he

drew a light low chair quite near to hers, and fixed her with an intent,

anxious gaze.

"Last night you behaved--as if--you cared a little for me," he began,

almost reproachfully.

"Last night--I was a fool!" she bitterly said. "I let you see too

much."

"Why too much?" he drew eagerly nearer. "Joan, my beloved--the only one

in the whole world I care for--for, indeed, you have all my love, all--I

am yours, body and soul!--what can come between us if you love me? And

you do! I know you do! I feel you don't want to--and I don't wonder, I

am not good enough, no one can be--but if you love me, I and no other

man, ought to be your husband!"

"Understand--I beg, pray, implore you to understand," she began, slowly,

painfully--this holding her wild instincts in check was the most

terribly hard battle she had ever fought--"I have sworn to myself never

to marry. Years ago my uncle was hard, cruel to my parents: they

literally died, half-starved, because he would not help them. When he

adopted me I did not know this. I had some work to accept his kindness

after I did know. But never, never will I accept a dowry, a trousseau,

from him--yet I will not explain why--nor will I go to any man a pauper.

Now perhaps you can see why--I feel--I can only do justice to myself,

and show mercy to him--by remaining as I am!"

"You mean to allow this folly about your uncle to come between you and

me?" he cried imperiously. His compelling grasp closed upon her wrists.

"Joan, Joan, do not throw away my life and yours by such an

absurdity--such a whim!"

He gazed into her eyes with his so brimful of intensity of passion that

they seemed to draw her towards him. She struggled against yielding to

the appeal, the yearning in his face--and he, he watched the

struggle--and as she gave a little sob, which was virtually a cry for

mercy, he drew her to him--he took her in his arms--she was on her

knees, in his embrace, her heart beating against his, their lips

clinging to each other.

Long--so it seemed to Joan--was she enwrapped in that delirium of bliss

she might have imagined, weakly, but had never felt in all its fierce,

oblivious ecstacy. Then she held him from her.

"Oh, what shall I do?" she wailed--and clasping his knee she leant her

face upon her cold trembling hands.

"You dear, innocent child! Do, indeed!" he almost merrily exclaimed,

stooping and kissing her fair wreaths of shining hair. "Why exactly as

you like! I don't care a fig for your uncle--at least, as regards what

he can give you--I have enough for you and a family of brothers and

sisters, too, if you had one. All I want is _you_, do you understand,

you! You have only to dictate terms--I surrender unconditionally!"

A Woman Martyr · 第 6 / 35 章