He will lie, Sir, with such volubility, that you would think
truth were a fool: drunkenness is his best virtue; for he will be
swine-drunk; and in his sleep he does little harm.--SHAKSPEARE.
When Captain G---- made his appearance, he seemed to be in the most
amiable humour possible. As soon as he saw me, he said, "Ah, this is
what I like; never break your leave even for five minutes. Now that I
see I can trust you, you may go on shore again as soon as you please."
This speech might have done very well to any person before the mast;
but as applied to an officer, I thought it rude and ungentlemanly.
The caterer had prepared lunch in the gun-room: it consisted of
beef-steaks and broiled bullocks' kidneys, with fried onions; and
their savoury smell rose in grateful steams up the skylight, and
assailed the nostrils of the skipper. His facetious small-talk knew
no bounds; he leaned over the frame, and, looking down, said--"I say,
something devilish good going on there below!"
The hint was taken, and the first lieutenant invited him down.
"I don't care if I do; I am rather peckish."
So saying, he was down the hatchway in the twinkling of one of his own
funny eyes, as he feared the choice bits would be gone before he could
get into action. We all followed him; and as he seated himself, he
said--
"I trust, gentlemen, this is not the last time I shall sit in the
gun-room, and that you will all consider my cabin as your own. I
love to make my officers comfortable: nothing more delightful than a
harmonious ship, where every man and boy is ready to go to h----l for
his officers. That's what I call good fellowship--give and take--make
proper allowances for one another's failings, and we shall be sorry
when the time comes for us to part. I am afraid, however, that I shall
not be long with you; for, though I doat upon the brig, the Duke
of N---- and Lord George ----, have given the first Lord a d----d
_whigging_ for not promoting me sooner; and, between ourselves, I
don't wish to go farther. My post commission goes out with me to
Barbadoes."
The first lieutenant cocked his eye; and quick as were the motions
of that eye, the captain, with a twist of one of his own, caught a
glimpse of it, before it could be returned to its bearing on the
central object, the beef-steaks, kidneys, and onions. But it passed
off without remark.
"A very capital steak this! I'll trouble you for some fat and a little
gravy. We'll have some jollification when we get to sea; but we must
get into blue water first: then we shall have less to do. Talking of
broiling steaks, when I was in Egypt, we used to broil our beef-steaks
on the rocks--no occasion for fire--thermometer at 200--hot as h----l!
I have seen four thousand men at a time cooking for the whole army
as much as twenty or thirty thousand pounds of steaks at a time,
all hissing and frying at a time--just about noon, of course, you
know--not a spark of fire! Some of the soldiers, who had been brought
up as glass-blowers, at Leith, swore they never saw such heat. I used
to go to leeward of them for a whiff, and think of old England! Ah,
that's the country, after all, where a man may think and say what he
pleases! But that sort of work did not last long, as you may suppose;
their eyes were all fried out, d----n me, in three or four weeks! I had
been ill in my bed, for I was attached to the 72nd regiment, seventeen
hundred strong. I had a party of seamen with me; but the ophthalmia
made such ravages, that the whole regiment, colonel and all, went
stone blind--all, except one corporal! You may stare, gentlemen, but
it's very true. Well, this corporal had a precious time of it: he was
obliged to lead out the whole regiment to water--he led the way, and
two or three took hold of the skirts of his jacket, on each side; the
skirts of these were seized again by as many more; and double the
number to the last, and so all held on by one another, till they had
all had a drink at the well; and, as the devil would have it, there
was but one well among us all--so this corporal used to water the
regiment just as a groom waters his horses; and all spreading out, you
know, just like the tail of a peacock."
"Of which the corporal was the rump," interrupted the doctor.
The captain looked grave.
"You found it warm in that country?" inquired the surgeon.
"Warm!" exclaimed the captain; "I'll tell you what, doctor, when
you go where you have sent many a patient, and where, for that very
reason, you certainly will go, I only hope, for your sake, and for
that of your profession in general, that you will not find it quite so
hot as we found it in Egypt. What do you think of nineteen of my men
being killed by the concentrated rays of light falling on the barrels
of the sentinels' bright muskets, and setting fire to the powder? I
commanded a mortar battery at Acre, and I did the French infernal
mischief with the shells. I used to pitch in among them when they had
sat down to dinner: but how do you think the scoundrels weathered on
me at last? D----n me, they trained a parcel of poodle dogs to watch
the shells when they fell, and then to run and pull the fuses out with
their teeth. Did you ever hear of such d----d villains? By this means,
they saved hundreds of men, and only lost half a dozen dogs--fact,
by G----; only ask Sir Sydney Smith; he'll tell you the same, and a
d----d sight more."
The volubility of his tongue was only equalled by the rapidity of his
invention and the powers of mastication; for, during the whole of this
entertaining monodrame, his teeth were in constant motion, like the
traversing beam of a steam boat; and as he was our captain as well as
our guest, he certainly took the lion's share of the repast.
"But, I say, Soundings," said he, addressing himself familiarly to the
master, who had not been long in the vessel, "let us see what sort
of stuff you have stowed the fore-hold with. You know I am a water
drinker; give me only the pure limpid stream, and a child may lead me.
I seldom touch liquor when the water is good." So saying, he poured
out a tumbler, and held it to his nose. "Stinks like h----! I say,
master, are you sure the bungs are in your casks? The cats have been
contributing to the fluid. We must qualify this;" and having poured
one-half of the water, which by the by was very good, he supplied the
vacancy with rum. Then tasting it, he said, "Come, Miss Puss; this
will rouse you out, at any rate."
A moment's pause, while he held the bumper before his eye, and then,
down it went, producing no other emotion than a deep sigh. "By the by,
that's well thought of--we'll have no cats in the ship (except those
which the depravity of human nature unhappily compels the boatswain to
use). Mr Skysail, you'll look to that. Throw them all overboard."
Taking his hat, he rose from the table, and mounting the ladder, "On
second thought," said he, addressing Skysail again, "I won't throw the
cats overboard; the sailors have a foolish superstition about that
animal--its d----d unlucky. No; put them alive in a bread-bag, and
send them on shore in the bum-boat."
Recollecting that my dinner party at the George was to take place this
day, and remembering the captain's promise that I should go on shore
whenever I pleased, I thought it only necessary to say I was going,
merely passing the usual compliment to my superior. I therefore went
to him, with a modest assurance, and told him of my engagement and my
intention.
"Upon my honour, Sir," cried he, putting his arms akimbo, and staring
me full in the face; "you have a tolerable sea-stock of modest
assurance; no sooner come on board than you ask leave to go on shore
again, and at the same time you have the impudence to tell me, knowing
how much I abhor the vice, that you mean to wet your commission, and
of course to get beastly drunk, and to make others as bad as yourself.
No, Sir; I'd have you to know, that as captain of this ship, and as
long as I have the honour to command her, I am _magister morum_."
"That is precisely what I was coming to, Sir," said I, "when you
interrupted me. Knowing how difficult it is to keep young men in
order, without the presence of some one whom they respect, and can
look up to as an example, I was going to request the honour of your
company as my guest. Nothing, in my opinion, could so effectually
repress any tendency to improper indulgence."
"There you speak like a child of my own bringing up," replied Captain
G----: "I did not give you credit for so much good sense. I am far
from throwing a wet blanket over any innocent mirth. Man is man after
all--give him but the bare necessaries of life, and he is no more than
a dog. A little mirth on such an occasion, is not only justifiable,
but praiseworthy. The health of a good king, like ours, God bless him,
should always be drank in good wine; and as you say the party is to be
select, and the occasion the wetting of your commission, I shall have
no objection to come and give away the bride; but, remember, no hard
drinking--no indecorum--and I'll do my best, not only to keep the
young bloods in order, but to add my humble powers to the hilarity of
the evening."
I thanked him for his kind condescension. He then gave a few
directions to Skysail, the first lieutenant, and, ordering his gig to
be manned, offered me a passage on shore.
This was, indeed, a mark of favour never before conferred on any
officer in the ship, and all hands spontaneously turned out to see
the sight. The first lieutenant cocked his eye, which was more than
saying, "This is too good to last long." However, into the boat we
went, and pulled away for old Sally-port. The harbour-tide rolling
out, we passed close to the buoy of the _Boyne_.
"Ah! well I remember that old ship; I was midshipman of her when she
blew up. I was signal midshipman. I was in the act of making the
signal of distress, when up I went. Damnation! I thought I never
should have come down any more."
"Indeed, Sir," said I, "I thought there had been no one on board at
the time."
"No one on board!" repeated the captain, with scorn on his upper lip,
"who did you get that from?"
"I heard it from a captain I served with in America."
"Then you may tell your captain, with my compliments, that he knew
nothing at all about it. No one on board! Why, d---- me, Sir, the poop
was crowded like a sheepfold, and all bellowing to me for help. I told
them all to go to h----, and just at that moment away we all went,
sure enough. I was picked up senseless. I was told somewhere in
Stokes-bay, and carried to Haslar hospital, where I was given over for
three months--never spoke. At last I got well; and the first thing I
did, was to take a boat and go and dive down the fore-hold of my old
ship, and swam aft to the bread-room."
"And what did you see, Sir?" said I.
"Oh, nothing, except lots of human skeletons, and whitings in
abundance, swimming between their ribs. I brought up my old quadrant
out of the starboard wing, where I was adjusting it when the alarm was
given. I found it lying on the table just where I left it. I never
shall forget what a d----d rap we hit the old Queen Charlotte, with
our larboard broadside; every gun went slap into her, double-shotted.
D----n my eyes, I suppose we diddled at least a hundred men."
"Why, Sir," said I, "I always understood she only lost two men on that
occasion."
"Who told you that?" said Captain G----, "your old captain?"
"Yes, Sir," said I, "he was a midshipman in her."
"He be d----," said my skipper; "to my certain knowledge, three
launch loads of dead bodies were taken out of her, and carried to the
hospital for interment."
As the boat touched the landing-place, this accomplished liar had time
to take breath, and, in fact, I was afraid he would have exhausted his
stock of lies before dinner, and kept nothing for the dessert. When we
landed, he went to his old quarters, at the Star and Garter, and I to
the George. I reminded him, at parting, that six o'clock was my hour.
"Never fear me," said he.
I collected my company previous to his arrival, and told my friends
that it was my determination to make him drunk, and that they must
assist me, which they promised to do. Having once placed him in that
predicament, I was quite sure I should stop his future discourses in
favour of temperance. My companions, perfectly aware of the sort of
man they had to deal with, treated him on his entrance with the most
flattering marks of respect. I introduced them all to him in the
most formal manner, taking them to him, one by one, just as we
are presented at court--to compare great things with small. His
good-humour was at its highest spring-tide; the honour of drinking
wine with him was separately and respectfully asked, and most
condescendingly granted to every person at the table.
"Capital salmon this," said the captain; "where does Billett get it
from? By the by, talking of that, did you ever hear of the pickled
salmon in Scotland?"
We all replied in the affirmative.
"Oh, you don't take. D----it, I don't mean dead pickled salmon; I mean
live pickled salmon, swimming about in tanks, as merry as grigs, and
as hungry as rats."
We all expressed our astonishment at this, and declared we never heard
of it before.
"I thought not," said he, "for it has only lately been introduced into
this country, by a particular friend of mine, Dr Mac----. I cannot
just now remember his d----d jaw-breaking Scotch name; he was a great
chemist and geologist, and all that sort of thing--a clever fellow
I can tell you, though you may laugh. Well--this fellow, Sir, took
nature by the heels and capsized her, as we say. I have a strong idea
that he had sold himself to the devil. Well--what does he do, but he
catches salmon and puts them into tanks, and every day added more and
more salt, till the water was as thick as gruel, and the fish could
hardly wag their tails in it. Then he threw in whole pepper corns,
half-a-dozen pounds at a time, till there was enough. Then he began to
dilute with vinegar, until his pickle was complete. The fish did not
half like it at first; but habit is every thing, and when he shewed me
his tank, they were swimming about as merry as a shoal of dace; he
fed them with fennel chopped small, and black-pepper corns. 'Come,
doctor,' says I, 'I trust no man upon tick; if I don't taste, I won't
believe my own eyes, though I _can_ believe my _tongue_.'" (We looked
at each other.) "'That you shall do in a minute,' says he; so he
whipped one of them out with a landing net; and when I stuck my knife
into him, the pickle ran out of his body, like wine out of a claret
bottle, and I ate at least two pounds of the rascal, while he flapped
his tail in my face. I never tasted such salmon as that. Worth your
while to go to Scotland, if it's only for the sake of eating live
pickled salmon. I'll give you a letter, any of you, to my friend.
He'll be d----d glad to see you; and then you may convince yourselves.
Take my word for it, if once you eat salmon that way, you will never
eat it any other."
We all said we thought that very likely.
The champagne corks flew as fast and as loud as his shells at Acre;
but we were particularly reserved, depending entirely on his tongue
for our amusement; and, finding the breeze of conversation beginning
to freshen, I artfully turned the subject to Egypt, by asking one of
my friends to demolish a pyramid of jelly, which stood before him, and
to send some of it to the captain.
This was enough: he began with Egypt, and went on increasing in the
number and magnitude of his lies, in proportion as we applauded them.
A short-hand writer ought to have been there, for no human memory
could do justice to this modern Munchausen. "Talking of the water of
the Nile," said he, "I remember, when I was first lieutenant of the
_Bellerophon_ I went into Minorca with only six tons of water, and in
four hours we had three hundred and fifty tons on board, all stowed
away. I made all hands work. The admiral himself was up to the neck
in water, with the rest of them. 'D----n it, admiral,' says I, 'no
skulking.' Well--we sailed the next day; and such a gale of wind I
never saw in all my life--away went all our masts, and we had nearly
been swamped with the weather-roll. One of the boats was blown off the
booms, and went clean out of sight before it touched the water. You
may laugh at that, but that was nothing to the _Swallow_ sloop of
war. She was in company with us; she wanted to scud for it, but, by
Jupiter, she was blown two miles up the country--guns, men, and all;
and the next morning they found her flying jib-boom had gone through
the church-window, and slap into the cheek of the picture of the
Virgin Mary. The natives all swore it was done on purpose by d----d
heretics. The captain was forced to arm his men, and march them all
down to the beach, giving the ship up to the people, who were so
exasperated that they set her on fire, and never thought of the powder
which was on board. All the priests were in their robes, singing some
stuff or another, to purify the church; but that was so much time
thrown away, for in one moment away went church, priests, pictures,
and people, all to the devil together."
Here he indulged himself in some vile language and scurrilous abuse of
religion and its ministers. All priests were hypocritical scoundrels.
If he was to be of any religion at all, he said, he should prefer
being a Roman Catholic, "because, then, you know," added he, "a
man may sin as much as he likes, and rub off as he goes, for a few
shillings. I got my commission by religion, d----n me. I found my old
admiral was a psalm-singer; so says I, 'my old boy, I'll give you
enough of that,' so I made the boatswain stuff me a hassock, and this
I carried with me every where, that I might save my trowsers, and not
hurt my knees; so then I turned to and prayed all day long, and kept
the people awake, singing psalms all night. I knelt down and prayed on
the quarter-deck, main-deck, and lower deck. I preached to the men in
the tiers, when they coiled the cables, and groaned loud and deep when
I heard an oath. The thing took--the admiral said I was the right
sort, and he made a commander out of the greatest atheist in the ship.
No sooner did I get hold of the sheepskin, than to the devil I pitched
hassock and bible."
How long he might have gone on with this farrago, it is difficult to
say; but we were getting tired of him, so we passed the bottle till he
left off narrative, and took to friendship.
"Now I say (hiccup), you Frank, you are a devilish good fellow; but
that one-eyed son of a gun, I'll try him by a court-martial, the first
time I catch him drunk; I'll hang him at the yard-arm, and you shall
be my first lieutenant and _custos-rot-torum_, d----n me. Only you come
and tell me the first time he is disguised in liquor, and I'll settle
him, d----n his cock eye--a saucy, Polyphemus-looking _son of a--_
(hiccup) a Whitechapel bird-catcher."
Here his recollection failed him; he began to talk to himself, and to
confound me with the first lieutenant.
"I'll teach him to write to port-admirals for leave--son of a sea
cook."
He was now drawing to the finale, and began to sing,
"The cook of the huffy got drank,
Fell down the fore-scuttle, and
Broke his gin bottle."
Here his head fell back, he tumbled off his chair, and lay motionless
on the carpet.
Having previously determined not to let him be exposed in the streets
in that state, I had provided a bed for him at the inn; and, ringing
the bell, I ordered the waiter to carry him to it. Having seen him
safely deposited, untied his neckcloth, took off his boots, and raised
his head a little, we left him, and returned to the table, where we
finished our evening in great comfort, but without any other instance
of intoxication.
The next morning, I waited on him. He seemed much annoyed at seeing
me, supposing I meant, by my presence, to rebuke him for his
intemperance; but this was not my intention. I asked him how he felt;
and I regretted that the hilarity of the evening had been interrupted
in so unfortunate a manner.
"How do you mean, sir? Do you mean to insinuate that I was not sober?"
"By no means, Sir," said I; "but are you aware, that in the midst of
your delightful and entertaining conversation, you tumbled off your
chair in an epileptic fit?--are you subject to these?"
"Oh, yes, my dear fellow, indeed I am; but it is so long since I last
had one, that I was in hopes they had left me. I have invalided for
them four times, and just at the very periods when, if I could have
remained out, my promotion was certain."
He then told me I might remain on shore that day, if I pleased. I gave
him credit for his happy instinct in taking the hint of the fit; and
as soon as I left him, he arose, went on board, and flogged two men
for being drunk the night before.
I did not fail to report all that had passed to my messmates, and we
sailed a few days afterwards for Barbadoes.
On the first Sunday of our being at sea, the captain dined in the
gun-room with the officers. He soon launched out into his usual strain
of lying and boasting, which always irritated our doctor, who was a
sensible young Welshman. On these occasions, he never failed to raise
a laugh at the captain's expense, by throwing in one or two words at
the end of each anecdote; and this he did in so grave and modest a
manner, that without a previous knowledge of him, anyone might have
supposed he was serious. The captain renewed his story of the corps of
poodles to extract the fuses from the shells. "I hoped," he said, "to
see the institution of such a corps among ourselves; and if I were to
be the colonel of it, I should soon have a star on my breast."
"That would be the Dog Star," said the doctor, with extreme gaiety.
"Thank you, Doctor," said the captain; "not bad; I owe you one."
We laughed; the doctor kept his countenance; and the captain looked
very grave; but he continued his lies, and dragged in as usual the
name of Sir Sydney Smith to support his assertions. "If you doubt me,
only ask Sir Sydney Smith; he'll talk to you about Acre for thirty-six
hours on a stretch, without taking breath; his cockswain at last got
so tired of it, that he nick-named him 'Long Acre.'"
The poor doctor did not come off scot free; the next day, he
discovered that the deck leaked over his cabin, and the water ran into
his bed. He began, with a hammer and some nails, to fasten up a piece
of painted canvas, by way of shelter. The captain heard the noise of
the hammer, and finding it was the doctor, desired him to desist. The
doctor replied, that he was only endeavouring to stop some leaks over
his bed: the captain said they should not be stopped; for that a bed
of leeks was a very good bed for a Welshman.
"There, Doctor; now we are quits: that's for your Dog Star. I suppose
you think nobody can make a pun or a pill, in the ship, but yourself?"
"If my pills were no better than your puns," muttered the doctor, "we
should all be in a bad way."
The captain then directed the carpenter not to allow any nails to the
doctor, or the use of any of his tools; he even told the poor surgeon
that he did not know how to make a pill, and that "he was as useless
as the Navy Board." He accused him of ignorance in other parts of his
profession; and, ordering all the sick men on deck, rope-ended them to
increase their circulation, and put a little life into them.
Many a poor sick creature have I seen receive a most unmerciful
beating. My wonder was that the men did not throw him overboard; and I
do really believe that if it had not been for respect and love to the
officers, they would have done so. No sooner had we got into blue
water, as he called it--that is, out of soundings--than he began his
pranks, which never ceased till we reached Carlisle Bay. Officers and
men were all treated alike, and there was no redress, for no one
among us dared to bring him to a court-martial. His constant maxim
was--"Keep sailors at work, and you keep the devil out of their
minds--all hands all day-watch, and watch all night."
"No man," said Jacky (the name we gave him) "eats the bread of
idleness on board of my ship: work keeps the scurvy out of their
bones, the lazy rascals."
The officers and men, for the first three weeks, never had a watch
below during the day. They were harassed and worn to death, and the
most mutinous and discontented spirit prevailed throughout the ship.
One of the best seamen said, in the captain's hearing, that, "since
the ship had been at sea, he had only had three watches below."
"And if I had known it," said the captain, "you should not have had
that;" and turning the hands up, he gave him four dozen.
Whenever he flogged the men, which he was constantly doing, he never
failed to upbraid them with ingratitude, and the indulgences which
they received from him.
"By G----d, there is no man-of-war in the service that has so much
indulgence. All you have to do, is to keep the ship clean, square the
yards; hoist in your provisions, eat them; hoist your grog in, drink
it, and strike the empty casks over the side; but Heaven itself would
not please such a set of d----d fat, lazy, discontented rascals."
His language to the officers was beyond any thing I ever could have
supposed would have proceeded from the mouth of a human being. The
master, one day, incurred his displeasure, and he very flippantly told
the poor man to go to h----.
"I hope, Sir," said the master, "I have as good a chance of going to
Heaven as yourself."
"You go to Heaven!" said the captain, "you go to Heaven! Let me catch
you there, and I will come and kick you out."
This was, indeed, shewing how far he would have carried his tyranny if
he could. But our feelings are relieved from any violent shock at
this apparent blasphemy, when we recollect that the poor man was an
atheist; and that his idea of Heaven was that of a little parlour at
the Star and Garter, with a good fire, plenty of grog, and pipes of
tobacco.
He kept no table, nor did he ever drink any wine, except when he
dined with us; but got drunk every night, more or less, on the ship's
spirits, in his own cabin. He was always most violent in the evening.
Our only revenge was laughing at his monstrous lies on Sunday, when he
dined with us. One night, his servant came and told the midshipman of
the watch, that the captain was lying dead drunk on the deck, in his
cabin. This was communicated to me, and I determined to make the best
use of it. I ran down to the cabin taking with me the midshipman of
the watch, the quarter-master, and two other steady men; and having
laid the water-drinker in his bed, I noted down the date, with all the
particulars, together with the names of the witnesses, to be used as
soon as we fell in with the admiral.
The next day, I think he had some suspicion of what I had done, and it
had nearly been fatal to me. It was blowing a fresh trade wind, and
the vessel rolling very deep, when he ordered the booms to be cast
loose and re-stowed. This was nothing short of murder and madness: but
in spite of every remonstrance, he persisted, and the consequences
were terrible. The lashings were no sooner cast off, than a spare
top-mast fell and killed one of the men. This was enough to have
completed our mischief for the day; but the devil had not done with us
yet. The booms were secured, and the men were ordered to rattle the
rigging down, which, as the vessel continued to roll heavily, was
still more dangerous, and, if possible, more useless than the former
operation. He was warned of it, but in vain; and the men had not been
aloft more than ten minutes, when one of them fell overboard. Why I
should again have put my life in jeopardy, particularly after the
warning of the last voyage, I know not. I was perhaps vain of what I
could do in the water. I knew my powers; and with the hope of saving
this unfortunate victim to the folly and cruelty of the captain, I
plunged after him into the sea, feeling at the same time, that I was
almost committing an act of suicide. I caught hold of him, and for a
time supported him; and, had the commonest diligence and seamanship
been shewn, I should have saved him. But the captain, it appeared,
when he found I was overboard, was resolved to get rid of me, in order
to save himself: he made use of every difficulty to prevent the boat
coming to me. The poor man was exhausted: I kept myself disengaged
from him, when swimming round him; supported him occasionally whenever
he was sinking; but, finding at last that he was irrecoverably
gone--for though I had a firm hold of him, he was going lower and
lower--and, looking up, perceiving I was so deep that the water was
dark over my head, I clapped my knees on his shoulders, and, giving
myself a little impetus from the resistance, rose to the surface. So
much was I exhausted, that I could not have floated half a minute
more, when the boat came and picked me up.
The delay in heaving the ship to, I attributed to the scene I had
witnessed the night before; and in this, I was confirmed by the
testimony of the officers. Having lost two men by his unseamanlike
conduct, he would have added deliberate murder of a third, to save
himself from the punishment which he knew awaited him. He continued
the same tyrannical conduct, and I had resolved that the moment we
fell in with the admiral to write for a court-martial on this man,
let the consequences be what they might: I thought I should serve my
country and the navy by ridding it of such a monster.
Several of the officers were under arrest, and notwithstanding the
heat of their cabins in that warm climate, were kept constantly
confined to them with a sentinel at the door. In consequence of
this cruel treatment, one of the officers became deranged. We made
Barbadoes, and running round Needham's Point into Carlisle Bay, we saw
to our mortification, that neither the admiral nor any ship of war was
there, consequently our captain was commanding officer in the port.
Upon this, he became remarkably amiable, supposing if the evil day was
put off, it would be dispensed with altogether; he treated me with
particular attention, hoped we should have some fun ashore; as the
admiral was not come in, we should wait for him; tired of kicking
about at sea, he should take all his _duds_, with him, and bring
himself to an anchor on shore, and not come afloat again till we
saluted his flag.
Neither the first lieutenant nor myself believed one word of this;
indeed, we always acted upon the exact reverse of what he said; and it
was well we did so in this instance. After we had anchored, he went
ashore, and in about an hour returned, and stated that the admiral was
not expected till next month; that he should, therefore, go and take
up his quarters at Jemmy Cavan's, and not trouble the ship any more
until the admiral arrived; he then left us, taking his trunk and all
his dirty linen, dirty enough it was.
Some of the officers unfortunately believed that we were to remain,
and followed the captain's example by sending their linen on shore to
be washed. Skysail was firm, and so was I; the lieutenant cocked his
eye, and said, "Messmate, depend on it there is something in the wind.
I have sent one shirt on shore to be washed; and when that comes off,
I will send another; if I lose that it is no great matter."
That night, at ten o'clock, Captain Jacky came on board, bringing his
trunk and dirty linen, turned the hands up, up anchor, and ran out of
Carlisle Bay and went to sea, leaving most of the officers' linen on
shore. This was one of his tricks. He had received his orders when he
landed in the morning; they were waiting for him, and his coming on
board for his things, was only a run to throw us off our guard, and
I suppose compel us, by the loss of our clothes, to be as dirty
in appearance as he was himself, "but he always liked to make his
officers comfortable."
We arrived at Nassau, in New Providence, without any remarkable
incident, although the service continued to be carried on in the same
disagreeable manner as ever. I continued, however, to get leave to go
on shore; and finding no prospect of bringing the captain to justice,
determined to quit the ship, if possible. This was effected by
accident, otherwise I should have been much puzzled to have got clear
of her. I fell between the boat and the wharf as I landed, and by the
sudden jerk ruptured a small bloodvessel in my chest; it was of no
great importance in itself, but in that climate required care, and I
made the most of it. They would have carried me on board again, but
I begged to be taken to the hotel. The surgeon of the regiment doing
duty there attended me, and I requested him to make my case as bad
as possible. The captain came to see me--I appeared very ill--his
compassion was like that of the Inquisitor of the Holy Office,
who cures his victim in order to enable him to go through further
torments. His time of sailing arrived, and I was reported to be too
ill to be removed. Determined to have me, he prolonged his stay. I
got better; the surgeon's report was more favourable; but I was still
unwilling to go on board. The captain sent me an affectionate message,
to say that if I did not come, he would send a file of marines to
bring me: he even came himself and threatened me; when, finding there
were no witnesses in the room, I plainly told him that if he persisted
in having me on board, it would be to his own destruction, for that I
was fully determined to bring him to a court-martial for drunkenness
and unofficerlike conduct, the moment we joined the admiral. I told
him of the state in which I had found him. I recapitulated his
blasphemies, and his lubberly conduct in losing the two men; he stared
and endeavoured to explain; I was peremptory, and he whined and gave
in, seeing he was in my power.
"Well then, my dear fellow," said Jacky, "since you are so very
ill--sorry as I shall be to lose you--I must consent to your staying
behind. I shall find it difficult to replace you; but as the comfort
and happiness of my officers is my first object on all occasions, I
will prefer annoying myself to annoying you." So saying, he held out
his hand to me, which I shook with a hearty good-will, sincerely
hoping that we might never meet again, either in this world or the
next.
He was afterwards brought to a court-martial, for repeated acts of
drunkenness and cruelty, and was finally dismissed the service.
In giving this detail of Captain G----'s peculiarities, let it not be
imagined, that even at that period such characters were common in the
service. I have already said, that he was an unique. Impressment
and the want of officers at the early part of the war, gave him an
opportunity of becoming a lieutenant; he took the weak side of the
admiral to obtain his next step, and obtained the command of a sloop,
from repeated solicitation at the Admiralty, and by urging his
claims of long servitude. The service had received serious injury by
admitting men on the quarter-deck from before the mast; it occasioned
there being two classes of officers in the navy--namely, those who had
rank and connections, and those who had entered by the "hawse-holes,"
as they were described. The first were favoured when young, and did
not acquire a competent knowledge of their duty; the second, with few
exceptions, as they advanced in their grades, proved, from want of
education, more and more unfit for their stations. These defects have
now been remedied; and as all young men who enter the service must
have a regular education, and consequently be the sons of gentlemen,
a level has been produced, which to a certain degree precludes
favouritism, and perfectly bars the entrance to such men as Captain
G----.
After the battle of Trafalgar, when England and Europe were indebted
for their safety to the British fleet, the navy became popular,
and the aristocracy crowded into it. This forwarded still more
the melioration of the service, and under the succeeding naval
administration, silent, certain, and gradual improvements, both in
men, officers, and ships, took place. Subsequently, the navy has been
still more fortunate, in having an officer called to its councils,
whose active and constant employment at sea, previous to the peace of
Paris, had given him a thorough insight into its wants and abuses.
Unconnected with party, and unawed by power, he has dared to do his
duty; and it is highly to the credit of the first lord, who has so
long presided at the board, that the suggestions of this officer have
met with due consideration; I can therefore assure my reader, that as
long as his advice is attended to, he need be afraid of meeting with
no more Captain G----'s.