The might of England flush'd
To anticipate the same;
And her van the fleeter rush'd
O'er the deadly space between.
"Hearts of oak!" our captains cried; when each gun
From its adamantine lips
Spread a death-shade round the ships,
Like the hurricane eclipse
Of the sun.
CAMPBELL.
Considering my youth and inexperience, and the trifling neglect
of which I was accused, there are few, even of the most rigid
disciplinarians, who will not admit that I was both unjustly and
unkindly treated by the first lieutenant, who certainly, with all my
respect for him, had lent himself to my enemies. The second lieutenant
and Mr Murphy did not even conceal their feelings on the occasion, but
exulted over my disgrace.
The ship was suddenly ordered to Portsmouth, where the captain, who
had been on leave, was expected to join us, which he did soon after
our arrival, when the first lieutenant made his reports of good and
bad conduct during his absence. I had been about ten days doing duty
in the fore-top, and it was the intention of Mr Handstone, to which
the captain seemed not disinclined, to have given me a flogging at
the gun, as a gratuity for losing the men. This part of the sentence,
however, was not executed. I continued a member of the midshipmen's
mess, but was not allowed to enter the berth: my meals were sent to
me, and I took them _solus_ on my chest. The youngsters spoke to me,
but only by stealth, being afraid of the oldsters, who had sent me to
the most rigid Coventry.
My situation in the fore-top was nearly nominal. I went aloft when the
hands were called, or in my watch, and amused myself with a book until
we went below, unless there was any little duty for me to do, which
did not appear above my strength. The men doated on me as a martyr in
their cause, and delighted in giving me every instruction in the art
of knotting and splicing, rigging, reefing, furling, &c, &c.; and I
honestly own that the happiest hours I had passed in that ship were
during my seclusion among these honest tars.
Whether my enemies discovered this or not, I cannot say; but shortly
after our arrival I was sent for by the captain into his own cabin,
where I received a lecture on my misconduct, both as to my supposed
irritable and quarrelsome disposition, and also for losing the men out
of the boat. "In other respects," he added, "your punishment would
have been much more severe but for your general good conduct; and I
have no doubt, from this little well-timed severity, that you will in
future conduct yourself with more propriety. I therefore release you
from the disgraceful situation in which you are placed, and allow you
to return to your duty on the quarter-deck."
The tears which no brutality or ill-treatment could wring from me, now
flowed in abundance, and it was some minutes before I could recover
myself sufficiently to thank him for his kindness, and to explain the
cause of my disgrace. I told him, that since I had joined the ship I
had been treated like a dog; that he alone had been ignorant of it,
and that he alone had behaved to me with humanity. I then related all
my sufferings, from the moment of that fatal glass of wine up to
the time I was speaking. I did not conceal the act of cutting down
Murphy's hammock, nor of throwing the candlestick at his head. I
assured him I never gave any provocation; that I never struck without
being first stricken. I said, moreover, that I would never receive a
blow or be called an improper name without resenting it, as far as
I was able. It was my nature, and if killed, I could not help it.
"Several men have run away," said I, "since I came into the ship and
before, and the officers under whose charge they were only received a
reprimand, while I, who have just come to sea, have been treated with
the greatest and most degrading severity."
The captain listened to my defence with attention, and I thought
seemed very much struck with it. I afterwards learnt that Mr Handstone
had received a reprimand for his harsh treatment of me; he observed,
that I should one day turn out a shining character, or go to the
devil.
It appeared pretty evident to me, that however I might have roused
the pride and resentment of the senior members of the mess by my
resistance to arbitrary power, that I had gained some powerful
friends, among whom was the captain. Many of the officers admired that
dogged, "don't care" spirit of resistance which I so perseveringly
displayed, and were forced to admit that I had right on my side. I
soon perceived the change of mind by the frequency of invitations to
the cabin and gun-room tables. The youngsters were proud to receive me
again openly as their associate; but the oldsters regarded me with
a jealousy and suspicion like that of an unpopular government to a
favourite radical leader.
I soon arranged with the boys of my own age a plan of resistance, or
rather of self-defence, which proved of great importance in our future
warfare. One or two of them had nerve enough to follow it up: the
others made fair promises, but fell off in the hour of trial. My code
consisted of only two maxims: the first was always to throw a bottle,
decanter, candlestick, knife, or fork, at the head of any person who
should strike one of us, if the assailant should appear too strong to
encounter in fair fight. The second was, never to allow ourselves to
be unjustly defrauded of our rights; to have an equal share of what we
paid equally for; and to gain by artifice that which was withheld by
force.
I explained to them that by the first plan we should ensure civility,
at least; for as tyrants are generally cowards, they would be afraid
to provoke that anger which in some unlucky moment might be fatal to
them, or maim them for life. By the second, I promised to procure them
an equal share in the good things of this life, the greater part of
which the oldsters engrossed to themselves: in this latter we were
much more unanimous than the former, as it incurred less personal
risk. I was the projector of all the schemes for forage, and was
generally successful.
At length we sailed to join the fleet off Cadiz, under the command of
Lord Nelson. I shall not pretend to describe the passage down Channel
and across the Bay of Biscay. I was sea-sick as a lady in a Dover
packet, until inured to the motion of the ship by the merciless calls
to my duties aloft, or to relieve the deck in my watch.
We reached our station, and joined the immortal Nelson but a few hours
before that battle in which he lost his life and saved his country.
The history of that important day has been so often and so
circumstantially related, that I cannot add much more to the stock
on hand. I am only astonished, seeing the confusion and _invariable
variableness_ of a sea-light, how so much could be known. One
observation occurred to me then, and I have thought of it ever since
with redoubled conviction; this was, that the admiral, after the
battle began, was no admiral at all: he could neither see nor be seen;
he could take no advantage of the enemy's weak points or defend his
own; his ship, the _Victory_, one of our finest three-deckers, was, in
a manner, tied up alongside a French eighty-gun ship.
These observations I have read in some naval work, and in my mind
they receive ample confirmation. I could not help feeling an agony of
anxiety (young as I was) for my country's glory, when I saw the noble
leaders of our two lines exposed to the united fire of so many ships.
I thought Nelson was too much exposed, and think so now. Experience
has confirmed what youthful fancy suggested; the enemy's centre should
have been _macadamized_ by our seven three-deckers, some of which, by
being placed in the rear, had little share in the action; and but for
the intimidation which their presence afforded, might as well have
been at Spithead. I mean no reflection on the officers who had charge
of them: accidental concurrence of light wind and station in the line,
threw them at such a distance from the enemy as kept them in the back
ground the greater part of the day.
Others, again, were in enviable situations, but did not, as far as I
could learn from the officers, do quite so much as they might have
done. This defect on our part being met by equal disadvantages,
arising from nearly similar causes, on that of the enemy, a clear
victory remained to us. The aggregate of the British navy is brave and
good; and we must admit that in this day "when England expected
every man to do his duty," there were but few who disappointed their
country's hopes.
When the immortal signal was communicated, I shall never, no, never,
forget the electric effect it produced through the fleet. I can
compare it to nothing so justly as to a match laid to a long train of
gunpowder; and as Englishmen are the same, the same feeling, the same
enthusiasm, was displayed in every ship; tears ran down the cheeks of
many a noble fellow when the affecting sentence was made known.
It recalled every past enjoyment, and filled the mind with fond
anticipations which, with many, were never, alas! to be realised. They
went down to their guns without confusion; and a cool, deliberate
courage from that moment seemed to rest on the countenance of every
man I saw.
My captain, though not in the line, was no niggard in the matter of
shot, and though he had no real business to come within range until
called by signal, still he thought it his duty to be as near to our
ships engaged as possible, in order to afford them assistance when
required. I was stationed at the foremost guns on the main deck, and
the ship cleared for action; and though on a comparatively small
scale, I cannot imagine a more solemn, grand, or impressive sight,
than a ship prepared as ours was on that occasion. Her noble tier of
guns, in a line gently curving out towards the centre; the tackle laid
across the deck; the shot and wads prepared in ample store (round,
grape, and canister); the powder-boys, each with his box full, seated
on it, with perfect apparent indifference as to the approaching
conflict. The captains of guns, with their priming boxes buckled round
their waists; the locks fixed upon the guns; the lanyards laid around
them; the officers, with their swords drawn, standing by their
respective divisions.
The quarter-deck was commanded by the captain in person, assisted by
the first lieutenant, the lieutenant of marines, a party of small-arm
men, with the mate and midshipmen, and a portion of seamen to attend
the braces and fight the quarter-deck guns. The boatswain was on the
forecastle; the gunner in the magazine, to send up a supply of powder
to the guns; the carpenter watched and reported, from time to time,
the depth of water in the well; he also walked round the wings or
vacant spaces between the ship's side and the cables, and other
stores. He was attended by his mates, who were provided with
shot-plugs, oakum, and tallow, to stop any shot-holes which might be
made.
The surgeon was in the cockpit with his assistants. The knives, saws,
tourniquets, sponges, basins, wine and water, were all displayed and
ready for the first unlucky patient that might be presented. This was
more awful to me than anything I had seen. "How soon," thought I, "may
I be stretched, mangled and bleeding, on this table, and have occasion
for all the skill and all the instruments I now see before me!" I
turned away, and endeavoured to forget it all.
As soon as the fleet bore up to engage the enemy, we did the same,
keeping as near as we could to the admiral, whose signals we were
ordered to repeat. I was particularly astonished with the skilful
manner in which this was done. It was wonderful to see how
instantaneously the same flags were displayed at our mast-heads as had
been hoisted by the admiral; and the more wonderful this appeared to
me, since his flags were rolled up in round balls, which were not
broken loose until they had reached the mast-head, so that the signal
officers of a repeater had to make out the number of the flag during
its passage aloft in disguise. This was done by the power of good
telescopes, and from habit, and sometimes by anticipation of the
signal that would be next made.
The reader may perhaps not be aware that among civilised nations, in
naval warfare, ships of the line never fire at frigates, unless they
provoke hostility by interposing between belligerent ships, or firing
into them, as was the case in the Nile, when Sir James Saumarez, in
the _Orion_, was under the necessity of sinking the _Artemise_, which
he did with one broadside, as a reward for her temerity. Under this
_pax in bellum_ sort of compact we might have come off scot-free, had
we not partaken very liberally of the shot intended for larger ships,
which did serious damage among our people.
The two British lines running down parallel to each other, and nearly
perpendicular to the crescent line of the combined fleets, was the
grandest sight that was ever witnessed. As soon as our van was within
gun-shot of the enemy, they opened their fire on the _Royal Sovereign_
and the _Victory_; but when the first-named of these noble ships
rounded to, under the stern of the _Santa Anna_, and the _Victory_ had
very soon after laid herself on board the _Redoubtable_, the clouds
of smoke enveloped both fleets, and little was to be seen except the
falling of masts, and here and there, as the smoke blew away, a ship
totally dismasted.
One of these proved to be English, and our captain, seeing her between
two of the enemy, bore up to take her in tow: at the same time, one
of our ships of the line opened a heavy fire on one of the French
line-of-battle ships, unluckily situated in a right line between us,
so that the shot which missed the enemy sometimes came on board of us.
I was looking out of the bow port at the moment that a shot struck our
ship on the stern between wind and water. It was the first time I had
ever seen the effect of a heavy shot; it made a great splash, and to
me as I then thought, a very unusual noise, throwing a great deal of
water in my face. I very naturally started back, as I believe many a
brave fellow has done. Two of the seamen quartered at my guns laughed
at me. I felt ashamed, and resolved to show no more such weakness.
This shot was very soon succeeded by some others not quite so
harmless: one came into the bow port, and killed the two men who had
witnessed my trepidation. My pride having been hurt that these men
should have seen me flinch, I will own that I was secretly pleased
when I saw them removed beyond the reach of human interrogation. It
would be difficult to describe my feelings on this occasion. Not six
weeks before, I was the robber of hen-roosts and gardens--the hero of
a horse-pond, ducking an usher--now suddenly, and almost without any
previous warning or reflection, placed in the midst of carnage, and an
actor of one of those grand events by which the fate of the civilised
world was to be decided.
A quickened circulation of blood, a fear of immediate death, and a
still greater fear of shame, forced me to an involuntary and frequent
change of position; and it required some time, and the best powers of
intellect, to reason myself into that frame of mind in which I could
feel as safe and as unconcerned as if we had been in harbour. To this
state I at last did attain, and soon felt ashamed of the perturbation
under which I had laboured before the firing began. I prayed, it is
true: but my prayer was not that of faith, of trust, or of hope--I
prayed only for safety from imminent personal danger; and my orisons
consisted of one or two short, pious ejaculations, without a thought
of repentance for the past or amendment for the future.
But when we had once got fairly into action, I felt no more of
this, and beheld a poor creature cut in two by a shot with the same
indifference that at any other time I should have seen a butcher kill
an ox. Whether my heart was bad or not, I cannot say; but I certainly
felt my curiosity was gratified more than my feelings were shocked
when a raking shot killed seven and wounded three more. I was sorry
for the men, and, for the world, would not have injured them; but
I had a philosophic turn of mind; I liked to judge of causes and
effects; and I was secretly pleased at seeing the effect of a raking
shot.
Towards four P.M. the firing began to abate, the smoke cleared away,
and the calm sea became ruffled with an increasing breeze. The two
hostile fleets were quiet spectators of each other's disasters. We
retained possession of nineteen or twenty sail of the line. Some of
the enemy's ships were seen running away into Cadiz; while four others
passed to windward of our fleet, and made their escape. A boat going
from our ship to one near us, I jumped into her, and learned the death
of Lord Nelson, which I communicated to the captain, who, after paying
a tribute to the memory of that great man, looked at me with much
complacency. I was the only youngster that had been particularly
active, and he immediately despatched me with a message to a ship at
a short distance. The first lieutenant asked if he should not send an
officer of more experience. "No," said the captain, "he shall go; the
boy knows very well what he is about!" and away I went, not a little
proud of the confidence placed in me.
Further details of this eventful day are to be found recorded in our
national histories; it will, therefore, be needless to repeat them
here. When I met my messmates at supper in the berth, I was sorry to
see Murphy among them. I had flattered myself that some fortunate shot
would have for ever divested me of any further care on his account;
but his time was not come.
"The devil has had a fine haul to-day!" said an old master's mate, as
he took up his glass of grog.
"Pity you, and some others I could name, had not been in the net!"
thinks I to myself.
"I hope plenty of the lieutenants are bowled out!" said another; "we
shall stand some chance then of a little promotion!"
When the hands were turned up to muster, the number of killed amounted
to nine, and wounded to thirteen. When this was made known, there
seemed to be a general smile of congratulation at the number fallen,
rather than of their regret for their loss. The vanity of the officers
seemed tickled at the disproportionate slaughter in a frigate of our
size, as compared to what they had heard the ships of the line had
suffered.
I attended the surgeon in the steerage, to which place the wounded
were removed, and saw all the amputations performed, without
flinching; while men who had behaved well in the action fainted at
the sight. I am afraid I almost took a pleasure in observing the
operations of the surgeon, without once reflecting on the pain
suffered by the patient. Habit had now begun to corrupt my mind. I was
not cruel by nature; I loved the deep investigation of hidden things;
and this day's action gave me a very clear insight into the anatomy
of the human frame, which I had seen cut in two by shot, lacerated by
splinters, carved out with knives, and separated with saws.
Soon after the action, we were ordered to Spithead, with duplicate
despatches. One morning I heard a midshipman say, "he would do his old
father out of a new kit." I inquired what that meant, was first called
a greenhorn for not knowing, and then had it explained to me. "Don't
you know," said my instructor, "that after every action there is more
canvas, rope, and paint, expended in the warrant-officer's accounts
than were destroyed by the enemy?"
I assented to this on the credit of the informer, without knowing
whether it was true or false, and he proceeded. "How are we to have
white hammock-clothes, sky-sail masts, and all other finery, besides a
coat of paint for the ship's sides every six weeks, if we don't expend
all these things in action, and pretend they were lost overboard, or
destroyed? The list of defects are given in to the admiral, he signs
the demand, and the old commissioner must come down with the stores,
whether he will or not. I was once in a sloop of war, when a large
forty-four-gun frigate ran on board of us, carried away her jib-boom,
and left her large fine-weather jib hanging on our foreyard. It was
made of beautiful Russia duck, and to be sure, didn't we make a gang
of white hammock-cloths, fore and aft, besides white trousers for the
men? Well now, you must know, that as we make _Uncle George_ suffer
for the stores, so I mean to make dad suffer for my traps. I mean to
lose my chest overboard with all my 'kit,' and return home to him and
the old woman just fit for the fashion."
"And do you really mean to deceive your father and mother in that
way?" replied I, with much apparent innocence.
"Do I? to be sure I do, you flat. How am I to keep up my stock, if I
don't make the proper use of an action like this that we have been
in?"
I took the hint: it never once occurred to me, that if I had fairly
and candidly stated to my parents that my stock of clothes were
insufficient for my appearance as a gentleman on the quarter-deck,
that they would cheerfully have increased it to any reasonable extent.
But I had been taught artifice and cunning; I could tell the truth
where I thought it served my purpose, as well as a lie; but here I
thought deception was a proof at once of spirit and of merit; and I
resolved to practise it, if only to raise myself a trifling degree
in the estimation of my unworthy associates. I had become partial to
deception from habit, and preferred exercising my own ingenuity
in outwitting my father, to obtaining what I needed by more
straightforward and honourable measures.
The ship needed some repairs, and by the indulgence of the captain,
who was pleased with my conduct, I, who required so much instruction
in the nature and cause of her defects, was allowed to be absent while
they were made good. By this oversight, I lost all that improvement
which I should have gained by close attention to the unrigging or
shipping of the ship; the manner of returning her stores; taking out
her masts and ballast, and seeing her taken into dock; the shape of
her bottom, and the good or bad qualities which might be supposed to
accelerate or retard her movements. All this was sacrificed to the
impatience of seeing my parents; to the vainglory of boasting of the
action in which I had been present; and, perhaps, of being encouraged
to tell lies of things which I never saw, and to talk of feats which I
never performed. I loved effect; and I timed the moment of my return
to my father's house (through a correspondence with my sister) to be
just as a large party had sat down to a sumptuous dinner. I had only
been absent three months, it is true; but it was my first cruise,
and then "I had seen so much, and been in such very interesting
situations."