_Delib. O. G._ This, boys, is the ante-room, and here, you see, is a
trophy presented by the Maha----
[_Puts on glasses, to inspect label._
_Policeman (loudly)._ Now then, Sir, don't block the way, please,--keep
moving!
[_O. G. moves on, under protest, to secret relief of boys._
_The Aunt (examining pair of Elephant Tusks set in carved Buffalo's
Head)._ They may call them "tusks" if they like, ELIZA,--but anyone can
see they're horns. They belong to one of them "Cow-Elephants," depend
upon it!
[_Peers anxiously about in vain attempt to discover it._
_Loyal Old Lady._ There's nothing here but these caskets. I thought
they'd the Jubilee Cake on view!
_Visitor (in state of general gratification)._ Ha! they've given her
some nice things among 'em, I must say. There, you see,--an
arm-chair,--always come in useful, they do!
_Female V._ JANE, come here, quick! (_They gaze reverentially on carved
chest full of slippers._) That's what I call a _nice_ present,
now,--but, if they were mine, I should unpick all that raised embroidery
inside the soles before ever I put 'em on!
_Jane._ Well, I suppose she wouldn't only wear them when she's in
_state_.
_Policeman._ Now, Ladies, please don't linger! Pass along, there!
_The Well-informed Old G._ You see this device, formed of green and
yellow feathers, boys. Well, these feathers come from----
_Policeman (as before)._ Don't stop the way, Sir, please!
_Old G. (hanging on obstinately to barrier)_----The Sandwich Islands,
and are worn exclusively by--(_is swept on by crowd, and wedged tightly
against case containing samples of woollen products--boys dive under red
cord, and escape_).
_Two Ladies (from the country)._ Those Policemen is like so many
parrots, with their "Keep moving;" they don't give you time for a good
look! _That's_ a handsome pair of jugs the Crown Prince and Princess
give her, a little like the pair old Mr. SPUDDER won with his Shorthorns
at the Show, don't you think? Only more elaborate, p'raps. Tell me if
you can see the Cake anywhere, my dear. I don't want to go away, and not
see _that!_
_Intelligent Visitor._ That's a curious thing, now. Look at that label,
"Presented by----" and the name left blank!
_A Jocular Visitor (seeing an opportunity)._ Too bad, MARIA! I'm sure we
wrote our names plainly enough!
[_Sensation amongst bystanders, who regard the couple with respectful
interest._
_Maria (who considers this trifling with a serious subject)._ If I had
known you were going to be so _foolish_, GEORGE, I should not have come!
[_Collapse of_ GEORGE.
_A Practical Visitor._ Now, there's a neat idea--d'ye see? A crown, made
all out of tobaccer. There's some _sense_ in giving a thing like that!
_The Jocular Visitor (reviving at sight of embroidered Child's Frock in
case)._ Pretty costume, that, eh, MARIA? But do you think HER GRACIOUS
MAJESTY will ever be able to _get it on?_
_Maria (horrified)._ I tell you what it is, GEORGE, if you go on making
these stupid jokes, you will get us both turned out--if not _worse!_ I'm
sure that Policeman heard!
_Loyal Old Lady._ They've given her scent, and little brass-nailed
boots, and cotton reels enough to set her up for life. But there, she
deserves it all, bless her!
_Party of Philistines (to one another.)_ You don't want to go in
there--there's only a lot of water-colours presented by the British
Institute. Let's see if we can find the Jubilee Cake!