CARE OF THE PERSON
The Mother's Duty Toward Herself--Her Dress--Etiquette and Good
Manners--The Golden Rule--Pride in Personal Appearance--The Science
of Beauty Culture--Manicuring as a Home Employment--Recipes for Toilet
Preparations--Nail-biting--Fragile Nails--White Spots--Chapped
Hands--Care of the Skin--Facial Massage--Recipes for Skin
Lotions--Treatment of Facial Blemishes and Disorders--Care of the
Hair--Diseases of the Scalp and Hair--Gray Hair--Care of Eyebrows
and Eyelashes.
Certainly this is a duty, not a sin. "Cleanliness is indeed next
to godliness."--JOHN WESLEY--_On Dress._
In all her multitudinous concerns the housekeeper should not forget her
duties toward herself. Many a mother in looking out that her children
are a credit to the family in dress and manners and care of their
persons, gives up all thought of standing as an exemplar of these things
among the ladies of the community. This is a sacrifice of self that is
not commendable, since it defeats its purpose. The mother should always
be herself an illustration of the lessons she teaches, else they will
not be seriously considered.
It is impossible here to give more than a few general suggestions as
to the dress and millinery of the mother. She should have a variety of
simple house-dresses, suited to her various duties, and these should be
kept as neat as possible. Each should be made for its purpose, not
converted to it from one of her fine dresses. Nothing gives an
impression of slatternliness more than the wearing about the house
of a frayed and soiled garment "that has seen better days."
The best dresses and hats of a woman, even one who goes little "into
society," should also be sufficient in number and varied in style
to suit the changing seasons of the year, and the widely differing
occasions for use which occur in every station of life. The purchase
of several good articles of attire rather than one or two is economical
in the end. There is not only the obvious mathematical reason that,
if one dress wears a year, four dresses must be bought in four years,
whether this is done simultaneously or successively, but there is the
physical reason that a dress, like a person, that has regular periods
of rest, becomes restored in quality. Accordingly, all dresses should
be laid very carefully away when not in use, and the proper means taken
to refresh them.
Unfortunately the arbitrary and senseless changes in fashion render
this practice hard to follow. No woman likes to look out of style.
However, by a little cleverness garments and hats may be adapted to
the prevailing mode (although the arbiters of fashion, in the interests
of manufacturers, try by violent changes of style to render this
impracticable). These adaptations may not be in the height of fashion,
but they will be in good form and taste. Indeed, it is never good taste
to follow extremes of style. The well-known lines of Pope on the subject
hold true in every age:
"....in fashions the rule will hold,
Alike fantastic if too new or old;
Be not the first by whom the new are tried,
Nor yet the last to lay the old aside."
Some of the best-dressed women in artistic and musical circles design
their clothes wholly to suit their personal appearance, with such
success that their independence of the prevailing mode of large or small
hats or sleeves, striped or checked fabrics, etc., wins universal
admiration.
Remember that a dress or a hat is never a "creation" in itself. The
wearer must always be considered. Short, stout women should avoid
horizontal stripes or lines of ornamentation that call attention to
breadth, and should choose those perpendicular stripes and lines which
tend to give an impression of height and slenderness. A hat lining may
be used to put rosiness into a pale face, and a color may be selected
for a dress which will neutralize too much redness in the skin. But
these are matters of common knowledge to all women. The trouble is, that
in their desire to be "in style," many women forget, or even
deliberately ignore these fundamental principles of art in dress.
Fondness for a particular color, as a color, causes many women to wear
it, regardless of its relation to their complexion; and there have been
women of mystical mind who, believing that each quality of soul had its
correspondent in a particular hue, wore those colors which they thought
were significant of their chief traits of character--with weird results,
as you may imagine.
It is unnecessary, in this book of "practical suggestions," to discuss
in detail the question of etiquette, which may be defined as "the
prevailing fashion in social intercourse." Styles in visiting cards
change from year to year, and the social usages of one city differ from
another. If it is required to know these, the latest special work on
etiquette should be procured.
The general principles of good manners, however, which lie at the basis
of etiquette, just as good morals form the foundation of law, although
there are discrepancies in both cases, may appropriately be presented
here, though briefly.
Good manners and good morals alike follow the Golden Rule: "Whatsoever
ye would that others should do to you, do ye even so to them." Egotism
and selfishness are the bane of both. True politeness consists in
considering the pleasure of others as a thing in itself, without regard
to your own advantage. If an attention is paid, a gift given, a service
rendered, these should be done solely for the recipient's happiness,
not with a view to his making a return in kind, possibly with interest.
It is good manners to call on people who will be pleased to see you;
not on those whom you wish to see, but to whom you and your affairs are
of no concern. A first visit to a newcomer in town is right and proper.
A stranger is presumed to be desirous of making friends, but the first
call ought to indicate whether or not he and you have that community of
interest which is essential to friendship. If you are the newcomer, it
is your duty to show your appreciation of the attention by returning
first calls, but you should so act that your hosts will feel free to
continue the acquaintance if it will be agreeable to them, or
discontinue it if it is not. Indeed, in every situation you should give
the other party this choice. Friendship is one of the most valuable
forms of social energy, and it should carefully be conserved. Yet more
than any other form it is wasted, because of a false regard for social
conventions. At how many calls are both parties bored! How many
persons--women in particular, who have not the man's freedom in
selecting associates--continue in the treadmill round of an uncongenial
social circle! To escape from this may require the special exercise of
will, and the incurring of criticism, but these ought to be assumed.
However, in most cases, a woman may gradually escape from the
distasteful circle and form new and more congenial friends without
remark.
After the brightening effects on mind and spirits of social intercourse
comes the advantage of toning up the personal appearance. A decent
self-respect in dress should always be flavored with a touch of pride,
for this is an excellent preservative. To have a proper pride, there
must be the incentive of the presence of other people whose admiration
we may win. Pride in dress is naturally conjoined with the care of the
person. There is an excellent term for this, which, though borrowed from
the stable, carries with it only sweet and wholesome suggestions. It is
"well-groomed." A well-groomed woman is not only a well-gowned woman,
but one who, like a favorite mare, is always spick and span in her
person, and happy in her quiet consciousness of it. And every woman,
whether she possesses a maid or not, indeed, whether she has fine gowns
or not, may win the admiration of all her associates by her "grooming."