THE MOTHER
The School-child--Breakfast--Luncheon--Supper--Aiding the Teacher at
Home--Manual Training--Utilizing the Collecting Mania--Physical
Exercise--Intellectual Exercise--Forming the Bath Habit--Teething--Forming
the Toothbrush Habit--Shoes for Children--Dress--Hats.
When the child reaches the school-age especial care should be taken of
his diet. He should not be allowed to have meat at breakfast, except a
little bacon with his eggs, one of which may be allowed a school-child
when young, two when older. Well-cooked cereals, such as oatmeal and
cream of wheat, should form the staple article of diet, though these may
be varied by the ready-to-eat breakfast foods, such as corn-flakes.
He should always have either sound fresh fruit, or stewed fruit, to eat
with the cereal. His bread should always be toasted. Muffins are better
for him than pancakes or waffles, which, however, should be allowed him
occasionally as a treat.
As this kind of a breakfast largely consists of starchy foods, it should
be eaten slowly, as starch requires thorough mastication. The practice
of allowing children to lie late in bed, and then gulp their breakfast
down in a minute or so, in order not to be late to school, is most
pernicious.
The luncheon put up for school-children may consist chiefly of
sandwiches, preferably several small ones of different kinds, rather
than one or two large ones. Biscuit sandwiches are generally more
palatable to a child than plain bread ones. Besides those made of
cold meat, there should be at least one cheese or one salad-and-nut
sandwich, and one jelly sandwich. A hard-boiled egg, preferably one
that has been cooked for some time in water kept under boiling point,
will vary this diet. Of course fruit, such as an apple, an orange, or
a banana, forms the best dessert. Occasionally cake, gingerbread,
sweet biscuit, or a piece of milk chocolate may be put in the basket
for a pleasant surprise.
The supper of the school-child while young should be a simple one,
something on the order of the breakfast. In the early days children were
fed at night on hasty pudding, or mush-and-milk, (cornmeal), which is
an ideal food when thoroughly prepared, the meal being slowly sprinkled
into the pot, which was stirred constantly all the while. The North
Italians prepare cornmeal in this fashion; the mush, which they call
"polenta," forms an accompaniment of meat stews, thus affording all the
elements of a "perfect ration." American cooks should employ cornmeal
far more than they do. Mush in particular has the advantage possessed by
King Arthur's bag-pudding, what cannot be eaten at night may be served
"next morning fried." While fried food is, as a rule, not good at
breakfast for any save one who has hard manual labor or physical
exercise to perform, an exception may be made of fried mush and fried
eggs, because their base is so nutritious that the heated fat can do
little to impair their digestibility, while it certainly whets the
appetite before eating, and pleases the palate when the food is in the
mouth. It should be borne in mind that those foods which require much
mastication ought especially to be made palatable in order to be chewed
thoroughly. Therefore, starchy materials ought to be prepared in
appetizing ways; on the other hand, meats, which require less
mastication, may dispense with high seasoning and rich sauces,
especially as they have their own natural flavors.
The mother should closely follow the work of the child at school and
aid this in every way at home. She should patiently answer his many
questions, except when she is convinced that he is not really in search
of information, but is asking them merely for the sake of asking.
Wherever the child ought to be able to reason out the answer, the mother
should assist him to do so by asking him guiding questions in turn. This
is the method that Socrates, the greatest of teachers and philosophers,
employed with his pupils, and, indeed, with his own children. It is as
useful in inculcating moral lessons as in teaching facts. When one of
the sons of Socrates, Lamprocles, came to him complaining that the
mother, Xanthippe, treated him so hardly that he could not bear it, the
philosopher, by kindly questions, led the boy to acknowledge his great
debt to her for her care of him in infancy and in sickness, and, by
showing the many things Xanthippe had to try her patience, persuaded
him to bear with her and to give her that love which was her due.
Where manual training is taught in the schools, the mother should give
every opportunity to her children to practice it at home. Where it is
not a part of the school course, parents should study to devise home
substitutes for it, the mother teaching the girls sewing, embroidery,
etc., and the father instructing the boys in carpentry and the like.
The desire to collect things, which seizes boys and girls at an early
age, should be turned into useful channels by teachers and parents.
Often this valuable instinct is largely wasted, as in the collecting
of postage-stamps, the impulse which it gives to geographical and
historical investigation being grossly perverted--for example a little
island, that once issued a stamp which is now rare, looming larger in
importance than a great country none of the stamps of which have any
special value.
Every school, or, failing this, every home, should have a museum, not so
much of curiosities as of typical specimens. These may be geological,
botanical, faunal or archaeological; the rocks and soils and clays of
the home country, the flowers of plants and sections of wood of trees;
the skins of animals and birds (taxidermy is a fascinating employment
for the young) eggs and nests (here the child should be taught to be a
naturalist and not a vandal), and Indian arrow-heads and stone-axes.
In this connection it should be suggested that the most valuable
collection of all is a herbarium of the flowers of literature, specimens
of which may be found in the home library. That a child is not fond of
reading is testimony that his parents no less than his teachers have
failed in their duty.
Above all, the parents should see that their boys and girls have
facilities for that physical culture which is necessary for health and
proper development. Those exercises which are both recreative and useful
are preferable. Gardening may be made a delight instead of a hardship,
if the child is allowed to enjoy the fruits of his labor. Let him sell
the vegetables he raises to the family, and, if there is an excess,
to the neighbors, for pocket money. He will enjoy purchasing his own
clothing even more than using the money solely for his pleasures.
Healthful sports should be encouraged, and games, such as chess, that
develops the intellect. There are many card games, such as "Authors,"
that impart useful instruction in literature, history, natural science,
business, etc. Playing these in the home is a good thing no less for
parent than child. Many a mother has acquired a well-rounded culture
after her marriage through her determination to "keep ahead of the
children" in their studies and intellectual activities.
The child should be early accustomed to take cold baths, and then run
about naked in a room under the impulse given by the tingling glow of
reaction. If a play is made of the bath the habit will be formed for
life, and in this way, one of the mother's chief struggles, to make the
children clean themselves, will be abolished. It is natural for a child
to get dirty, and therefore it should be made as habitual an impulse
for them to get clean again.
Of all such habits, keeping the teeth clean is most important.
Children's teeth are a chief source of anxiety to the mother even
before they make their appearance.
Troubles in teething are generally due to innutritious and illy-digested
food. Sometimes, however, when the food is all right, the teeth will
still have difficulty in coming through the gums. Whenever the mother
observes that her crying child refuses to bring its gums together on
anything, she should examine them, and, if they are swollen, have them
lanced.
The "milk-teeth," even though they are temporary, should be looked after
carefully, as their decay will often spread to the coming permanent
teeth. Besides, they should be preserved as long as possible, and in
the best condition, to aid in mastication. Accordingly, young children
should be taught regularly to rinse out their mouths and to use
a tooth-brush and tooth-powder.
A child should run barefoot as much as conditions and climate permit.
When it wears shoes, these should conform as much as possible to the
shape of the foot. With such footwear, the active child may form for
life the habit of a natural gait, especially if parents will point out
the beauty and advantages of this, and praise the men and women of their
acquaintance who possess it. It is about the time when a girl is
learning _Virgil_ in the High School that she is tempted by vanity
and the desire to be "like the other girls" to put on French heels.
Then it is that the teacher or mother should quote to her the line of
the _Aeneid_ about Venus:
"The true goddess is shown by her gait,"
and save her from an irreparable folly.
If mothers will remember that children are not dolls, and that mothers
are not children to take pleasure in bedecking them, they will need no
advice about dressing their little ones. There is only one rule for her
to follow: She should consult the comfort and health of the child, and,
as far as consistent with these, the convenience to herself. It may be
"cute" to dress a child like a miniature man or woman, but it is cruel
to the child. There is no reason for distinguishing sex by dress in
young children. "Jumpers" form the best dress for either a little boy
or little girl in which to play. Even when they are older and a skirt
distinguishes the girl, bloomers or knickerbockers of the same material
beneath, approach the ideal of dress for comfort, health and decency
more nearly than white petticoat and drawers. Indeed, the skirt is best
when it is a part of a blouse, which is also a suitable dress for a boy.
A child should never be tortured with a large or stiff hat. The heads of
children come up to the middles of men and women, and such a hat will be
crushed in a crowd, and its poor little wearer placed in mortal terror.
Indeed, children should be allowed to go bareheaded as much as possible,
and, when they wear hats, have these simple in shape and soft in
material. The plain cap is the best head covering for a boy. The girl's
may be a little more ornamental, especially in color. The universal
seizure by the sex upon the boy's "Tam o'Shanter" as peculiarly suited
for a play and school-hat, is therefore right and proper. For a more
showy style, lingerie hats are justified. But the most beautiful and
appropriate form of the "best hat" for a little girl is one of uniform
material, straw, cloth or felt, with simple crown, and wide, and more or
less soft brim, ornamented by a ribbon alone. The addition of a single
flower may be permitted, though this is like the admission of the
camel's nose into the tent,--it may lead to the entrance of the
hump--the monstrosity of the modern woman's bonnet, which of late years
has by terms imitated a flower garden, a vegetable garden, an orchard,
and, finally, with the Chanticler fad, a poultry-yard.
The knickerbocker and the short skirt are aesthetic, that is
eye-pleasing, because they mark a natural division of the body at the
knee. There is an artistic justification, therefore, in mothers keeping
their sons out of "long pants" as long as possible, and in fathers (for
it is they who are the chief objectors) in opposing their daughters'
desire to don the dust-sweeping skirt that marks attainment to
womanhood. Here, however, it is proper that the wishes of the younger
generation triumph. It is a social instinct to conform to the custom
of one's fellows, and the children have reached "the age of consent" in
matters of fashion. Their fathers and mothers may lend their influence
to abolish foolish customs, or to modify them in the direction of
wisdom, but it is best that this be in their capacity as citizens,
and not as parents.