PART ONE, CHAPTER TWENTY THREE.

THE MAJOR PREVENTS THE LANDLORD FROM IMPOSING ON ME, BUT I GAIN NOTHING

BY HIS INTERFERENCE--FOR ECONOMICAL REASONS I AGREE TO LIVE WITH HIM

THAT HE MAY LIVE ON ME.

I returned to the hotel, for my mind had been much agitated, and I

wished for quiet, and the friendship of Timothy. As soon as I arrived I

told him all that had passed.

"Indeed," replied Timothy, "things do now wear a pleasant aspect; for I

am afraid, that without that thousand, we could not have carried on for

a fortnight longer. The bill here is very heavy, and I'm sure the

landlord wishes to see the colour of his money."

"How much do you think we have left? It is high time, Timothy, that we

now make up our accounts, and arrange some plans for the future,"

replied I. "I have paid the jeweller and the tailor, by the advice of

the major, who says, that you should always pay your _first bills_ as

soon as possible, and all your subsequent bills as late as possible; and

if put off _sine die_, so much the better. In fact, I owe very little

now, but the bill here--I will send for it to-night."

Here we were interrupted by the entrance of the landlord. "O Mr

Wallace, you are the very person I wished to see; let me have my bill,

if you please."

"It's not of the least consequence, sir," replied he; "but if you wish

it, I have posted down to yesterday," and the landlord left the room.

"You were both of one mind, at all events," said Timothy, laughing; "for

he had the bill in his hand, and concealed it the moment you asked for

it."

In about ten minutes the landlord re-appeared, and presenting the bill

upon a salver, made his bow and retired. I looked it over: it amounted

to 104 pounds; which, for little more than three weeks, was pretty well.

Timothy shrugged up his shoulders, while I ran over the items. "I do

not see that there is anything to complain of, Tim," observed I, when I

came to the bottom of it; "but I do see that living here, with the major

keeping me an open house, will never do. Let us see how much money we

have left."

Tim brought the dressing-case in which our cash was deposited, and we

found, that after paying the waiters, and a few small bills not yet

liquidated, our whole stock was reduced to fifty shillings.

"Merciful Heaven! what an escape," cried Timothy; "if it had not been

for this new supply, what should we have done?"

"Very badly, Timothy; but the money is well spent, after all. I have

now entrance into the first circles. I can do without Major Carbonnell;

at all events, I shall quit this hotel, and take furnished apartments,

and live at the clubs. I know how to put him off."

I laid the money on the salver, and desired Timothy to ring for the

landlord, when who should come up but the major and Harcourt. "Why,

Newland! what are you going to do with that money?" said the major.

"I am paying my bill, major."

"Paying your bill, indeed; let us see--104 pounds. O this is a

confounded imposition. You mustn't pay this." At this moment the

landlord entered. "Mr Wallace," said the major, "my friend Mr Newland

was about, as you may see, to pay you the whole of your demand; but

allow me to observe, that being my very particular friend, and the

Piazza having been particularly recommended by me, I do think that your

charges are somewhat exorbitant. I shall certainly advise Mr Newland

to leave the house to-morrow, if you are not more reasonable."

"Allow me to observe, major, that my reason for sending for my bill, was

to pay it before I went into the country, which I must do to-morrow, for

a few days."

"Then I shall certainly recommend Mr Newland not to come here when he

returns, Mr Wallace; for I hold myself, to a certain degree, after the

many dinners we have ordered here, and of which I have partaken, as I

may say, _particeps criminis_, or in other words, as having been a party

to this extortion. Indeed, Mr Wallace, some reduction must be made, or

you will greatly hurt the credit of your house."

Mr Wallace declared, that really he had made nothing but the usual

charges, that he would look over the bill again and see what he could

do.

"My dear Newland," said the major, "I have ordered your dinners, allow

me to settle your bill. Now, Mr Wallace, suppose we take off

_one-third_?"

"_One-third_, Major Carbonnell! I should be a loser."

"I am not exactly of your opinion; but let me see--now take your choice.

Take off 20 pounds, or you lose my patronage, and that of all my

friends. Yes or no?"

The landlord, with some expostulation, at last consented, he receipted

the bill, and leaving 20 pounds of the money on the salver, made his

bow, and retired.

"Rather fortunate that I slipped in, my dear Newland; now there are 20

pounds saved. By-the-by, I'm short of cash. You've no objection to let

me have this? I shall never pay you, you know."

"I do know you _never_ will pay me, major; nevertheless, as I should

have paid it to the landlord had you not interfered, I will lend it to

you."

"You are a good fellow, Newland," said the major, pocketing the money.

"If I had borrowed it, and you had thought you would have had it repaid,

I should not have thanked you; but as you lend it me with your eyes

open, it is nothing more than a very delicate manner of obliging me, and

I tell you candidly, that I will not forget it. So you really are off

to-morrow?"

"Yes," replied I, "I must go; for I find that I am not to make ducks and

drakes of my money, until I come into possession of my property."

"I see, my dear fellow. Executors are the very devil; they have no

feeling. Never mind; there's a way of getting to windward of them. I

dine with Harcourt, and he has come to ask you to join us."

"With pleasure."

"I shall expect you at seven, Newland," said Harcourt, as he quitted the

room with the major.

"Dear me, sir, how could you let that gentleman walk off with your

money?" cried Timothy. "I was just rubbing my hands with the idea that

we were 20 pounds better off than we thought, and away it went, like

smoke."

"And will never come back again, Tim; but never mind that, it is

important that I make a friend of him, and his friendship is only to be

bought. I shall have value received. And now, Tim, we must pack up,

for I leave this to-morrow morning. I shall go down to--, and see

little Fleta."

I dined with Harcourt. The major was rather curious to know what it was

which appeared to flurry Lord Windermear, and what had passed between

us. I told him that his lordship was displeased on money matters, but

that all was right, only that I must be more careful for the future.

"Indeed, major, I think I shall take lodgings. I shall be more

comfortable, and better able to receive my friends."

Harcourt agreed with me, that it was a much better plan, when the major

observed, "Why, Newland, I have a room quite at your service; suppose

you come and live with me?"

"I am afraid I shall not save by that," replied I, laughing, "for you

will not pay your share of the bills."

"No, upon my honour I will not; so I give you fair warning; but as I

always dine with you when I do not dine elsewhere, it will be a saving

to you--for you will _save your lodgings_, Newland; and you know the

house is my own, and I let off the rest of it; so as far as that bill is

concerned, you will be safe."

"Make the best bargain you can, Newland," said Harcourt: "accept his

offer; for, depend upon it, it will be saving in the end."

"It certainly deserves consideration," replied I; "and the major's

company must be allowed to have its due weight in the scale; if

Carbonnell will promise to be a little more economical--"

"I will, my dear fellow--I will act as your steward, and make your money

last as long as I can, for my _own sake_, as well as yours. Is it a

bargain? I have plenty of room for your servant, and if he will assist

me a little, I will discharge my own." I then consented to the

arrangement.

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