WE TAKE A COACH, BUT THE DRIVER DOES NOT LIKE HIS FARE AND HITS US
FOUL--WE CHANGE OUR MODE OF TRAVELLING, UPON THE PRINCIPLE OF SLOW AND
SURE, AND FALL IN WITH A VERY LEARNED MAN.
I believe it to be a very general custom, when people set off upon a
journey to reckon up their means--that is, to count the money which they
may have in their pockets. At all events, this was done by Timothy and
me, and I found that my stock amounted to twenty-two pounds eighteen
shillings, and Timothy's to the five guineas presented by Mr Cophagus,
and three halfpence which were in the corner of his waistcoat pocket--
sum total, twenty-eight pounds three shillings and three halfpence; a
very handsome sum, as we thought, with which to commence our
peregrinations, and, as I observed to Timothy, sufficient to last us for
a considerable time, if husbanded with care.
"Yes," replied he, "but we must husband our legs also, Japhet, or we
shall soon be tired, and very soon wear out our shoes. I vote we take a
hackney-coach."
"Take a hackney-coach, Tim! we mustn't think of it; we cannot afford
such a luxury; you can't be tired yet, we are now only just clear of
Hyde Park Corner."
"Still I think we had better take a coach, Japhet, and here is one
coming. I always do take one when I carry out medicines, to make up for
the time I lose looking at the shops, and playing peg in the ring."
I now understood what Timothy meant, which was, to get behind and have a
ride for nothing. I consented to this arrangement, and we got up behind
one which was already well filled inside. "The only difference between
an inside and outside passenger in a hackney-coach is, that, one pays,
and the other does not," said I, to Timothy, as we rolled along at the
act of parliament speed of four miles per hour.
"That depends upon circumstances: if we are found out, in all
probability we shall not only have our ride, but be _paid_ into the
bargain."
"With the coachman's whip, I presume?"
"Exactly." And Timothy had hardly time to get the word out of his
mouth, when flac, flac, came the whip across our eyes--a little envious
wretch, with his shirt hanging out of his trowsers, having called out
_Cut behind_! Not wishing to have our faces, or our behinds cut any
more, we hastily descended, and reached the footpath, after having
gained about three miles on the road before we were discovered.
"That wasn't a bad lift, Japhet, and as for the whip I never mind that
with _corduroys_. And now, Japhet, I'll tell you something; we must get
into a waggon, if we can find one going down the road, as soon as it is
dark."
"But that will cost money, Tim."
"It's economy, I tell you; for a shilling, if you bargain, you may ride
the whole night, and if we stop at a public-house to sleep, we shall
have to pay for our beds, as well as be obliged to order something to
eat, and pay dearer for it than if we buy what we want at cooks' shops."
"There is sense in what you say, Timothy; we will look out for a
waggon."
"Oh! it's no use now--waggons are like black beetles, not only in shape
but in habits, they only travel by night--at least most of them do. We
are now coming into long dirty Brentford, and I don't know how you feel,
Japhet, but I find that walking wonderfully increases the appetite--
that's another reason why you should not walk when you can ride--for
nothing."
"Well, I'm rather hungry myself; and dear me, how very good that piece
of roast pork looks in that window!"
"I agree with you--let's go in and make a bargain!"
We bought a good allowance for a shilling, and after sticking out for a
greater proportion of mustard than the woman said we were entitled to,
and some salt, we wrapped it up in a piece of paper, and continued our
course, till we arrived at a baker's, where we purchased our bread; and
then taking up a position on a bench outside a public-house, called for
a pot of beer, and putting our provisions down before us, made a hearty,
and, what made us more enjoy it, an independent meal. Having finished
our pork and our porter, and refreshed ourselves, we again started and
walked till it was quite dark, when we felt so tired that we agreed to
sit down on our bundles and wait for the first waggon which passed. We
soon heard the jingling of bells, and shortly afterwards its enormous
towering bulk appeared between us and the sky. We went up to the
waggoner, who was mounted on a little pony, and asked him if he could
give two poor lads a lift, and how much he would charge us for the ride.
"How much can ye afford to give, measters? for there be others as poor
as ye." We replied that we could give a shilling. "Well, then, get up
in God's name, and ride as long as you will. Get in behind."
"Are there many people in there already?" said I as I climbed up, and
Timothy handed me the bundles.
"Noa," replied the waggoner, "there be nobody but a mighty clever
'poticary or doctor, I can't tell which; but he wears an uncommon queer
hat, and he talk all sort of doctor stuff--and there be his odd man and
his odd boy; that be all, and there be plenty of room, and plenty o'
clean stra'."
After this intimation we climbed up, and gained a situation in the rear
of the waggon under the cloth. As the waggoner said, there was plenty
of room, and we nestled into the straw without coming into contact with
the other travellers. Not feeling any inclination to sleep, Timothy and
I entered into conversation, _sotto voce_, and had continued for more
than half an hour, supposing by their silence, that the other occupants
of the waggon were asleep, when we were interrupted by a voice clear and
sonorous as a bell.
"It would appear that you are wanderers, young men, and journey you know
not whither. Birds seek their nests when the night falls--beasts hasten
to their lairs--man bolts his door. `_Propria quae maribus_,' as
Herodotus hath it; which, when translated, means, that `such is the
nature of mankind.' `_Tribuuntur mascula dicas_,' `Tell me your
troubles,' as Homer says."
I was very much surprised at this address--my knowledge of the language
told me immediately that the quotations were out of the Latin grammar,
and that all his learning was pretence; still there was a novelty of
style which amused me, and at the same time gave me an idea that the
speaker was an uncommon personage. I gave Timothy a nudge, and then
replied--
"You have guessed right, most learned sir; we are, as you say, wanderers
seeking our fortunes, and trust yet to find them--still we have a weary
journey before us. `_Haustus hora somni sumendum_,' as Aristotle hath
it; which I need not translate to so learned a person as yourself."
"Nay, indeed, there is no occasion; yet am I pleased to meet with one
who hath scholarship," replied the other. "Have you also a knowledge of
the Greek?"
"No, I pretend not to Greek."
"It is a pity that thou hast it not, for thou wouldst delight to commune
with the ancients. Aesculapius hath these words--`_Asholder_--offmotton
accapon--pasti--venison,'--which I will translate for thee--`We often
find what we seek when we least expect it.' May it be so with you, my
friend. Where have you been educated? and what has been your
profession?"
I thought I risked little in telling, so I replied, that I had been
brought up as a surgeon and apothecary, and had been educated at a
foundation school.
"'Tis well," replied he; "you have then commenced your studies in my
glorious profession; still, have you much to learn; years of toil, under
a great master, can only enable you to benefit mankind as I have done,
and years of hardship and of danger must be added thereunto, to afford
you the means. There are many hidden secrets. `_Ut sunt Divorum, Mars,
Bacchus, Apollo, Virorum_,'--many parts of the globe to traverse, `_Ut
Cato, Virgilius, fluviorum, ut Tibris, Orontes_.' All these have I
visited, and many more. Even now do I journey to obtain more of my
invaluable medicine, gathered on the highest Andes, when the moon is in
her perigee. There I shall remain for months among the clouds, looking
down upon the great plain of Mexico, which shall appear no larger than
the head of a pin, where the voice of man is heard not. `_Vocito,
vocitas, vocitavi_,' bending for months towards the earth. `_As in
presenti_,' suffering with the cold--`_frico quod fricui dat_,' as
Eusebius hath it. Soon shall I be borne away by the howling winds
towards the New World, where I can obtain more of the wonderful
medicine, which I may say never yet hath failed me, and which nothing
but love towards my race induces me to gather at such pains and risk."
"Indeed, sir," replied I, amused with his imposition, "I should like to
accompany you--for, as Josephus says most truly, `_Capiat pilulae duae
post prandium_.' Travel is, indeed, a most delightful occupation, and I
would like to run over the whole world."
"And I would like to follow you," interrupted Timothy. "I suspect we
have commenced our _grand tour_ already--three miles behind a
hackney-coach--ten on foot, and about two, I should think, in this
waggon. But as Cophagus says, `_Cochlearija crash many summendush_,'
which means, `There are ups and downs in this world.'"
"Hah!" exclaimed our companion. "He, also, has the rudiments."
"Nay, I hope I've done with the _Rudimans_," replied Timothy.
"Is he your follower?" inquired the man.
"That very much depends upon who walks first," replied Timothy, "but
whether or no--we hunt in couples."
"I understand--you are companions. `_Concordat cum nominativo numero et
persona_.' Tell me, can you roll pills, can you use the pestle and the
mortar, handle the scapula, and mix ingredients?"