LOOKING OUT FOR BUSINESS NOT EXACTLY MINDING YOUR OWN BUSINESS--THE LOSS
OF THE SCALES OCCASIONS THE LOSS OF PLACE TO TIMOTHY AND ME, WHO WHEN
WEIGHED IN OTHER SCALES WERE FOUND WANTING--WE BUNDLE OFF WITH OUR
BUNDLES ON.
It happened one market-day that there was an overdriven, infuriated
beast, which was making sad havoc. Crowds of people were running past
our shop in one direction, and the cries of "Mad bull!" were re-echoed
in every quarter.
Mr Cophagus, who was in the shop, and to whom, as I have before
observed, a mad bull was a source of great profit, very naturally looked
out of the shop to ascertain whether the animal was near to us. In most
other countries, when people hear of any danger, they generally avoid it
by increasing their distance, but in England, it is too often the case,
that they are so fond of indulging their curiosity, that they run to the
danger. Mr Cophagus, who perceived the people running one way,
naturally supposed, not being aware of the extreme proximity of the
animal, that the people were running to see what was the matter, and
turned his eyes in that direction, walking out on the pavement that he
might have a fairer view. He was just observing, "Can't say--fear--um--
rascal Pleggit--close to him--get all the custom--wounds--contusions--
and--" when the animal came suddenly round the corner upon Mr Cophagus,
who had his eyes the other way, and before he could escape tossed him
through his own shop windows, and landed him on the counter. Not
satisfied with this, the beast followed him into the shop. Timothy and
I pulled Mr Cophagus over towards us, and he dropped inside the
counter, where we also crouched, frightened out of our wits. To our
great horror the bull made one or two attempts to leap the counter; but
not succeeding, and being now attacked by the dogs and butcher boys, he
charged at them through the door, carrying away our best scales on his
horns as a trophy, as he galloped out of the shop in pursuit of his
persecutors. When the shouts and hallooes were at some little distance,
Timothy and I raised our heads and looked round us; and perceiving that
all was safe, we proceeded to help Mr Cophagus, who remained on the
floor bleeding, and in a state of insensibility. We carried him into
the back parlour and laid him on the sofa. I desired Timothy to run for
surgical aid as fast as he could, while I opened a vein; and in a few
minutes he returned with our opponent, Mr Ebenezer Pleggit. We
stripped Mr Cophagus, and proceeded to examine him. "Bad case this--
very bad case, indeed, Mr Newland--dislocation of the os humeri--severe
contusion on the os frontis--and I'm very much afraid there is some
intercostal injury. Very sorry, very sorry, indeed, for my brother
Cophagus." But Mr Pleggit did not appear to be sorry; on the contrary,
he appeared to perform his surgical duties with the greatest glee.
We reduced the dislocation, and then carried Mr Cophagus up to his bed.
In an hour he was sensible; and Mr Pleggit took his departure, shaking
hands with Mr Cophagus, and wishing him joy of his providential escape.
"Bad job, Japhet," said Mr Cophagus to me. "Very bad, indeed; sir;
but it might have been worse."
"Worse--um--no, nothing worse--not possible."
"Why, sir, you might have been killed."
"Pooh! didn't mean that--mean Pleggit--rascal--um--kill me if he can--
shan't though--soon get rid of him--and so on."
"You will not require his further attendance now that your shoulder is
reduced. I can very well attend upon you."
"Very true, Japhet;--but won't go--sure of that--damned rascal--quite
pleased--I saw it--um--eyes twinkled--smile checked--and so on."
That evening Mr Pleggit called in as Mr Cophagus said that he would,
and the latter showed a great deal of impatience; but Mr Pleggit
repeated his visits over and over again, and I observed that Mr
Cophagus no longer made any objection; on the contrary, seemed anxious
for his coming, and still more so, after he was convalescent, and able
to sit at his table. But the mystery was soon divulged. It appeared
that Mr Cophagus, although he was very glad that other people should
suffer from mad bulls, and come to be cured, viewed the case in a very
different light when the bull thought proper to toss him, and having now
realised a comfortable independence, he had resolved to retire from
business, and from a site attended with so much danger. A hint of this
escaping him when Mr Pleggit was attending him on the third day after
his accident, the latter, who knew the value of the _locale_, also
hinted that if Mr Cophagus was inclined so to do, that he would be most
happy to enter into an arrangement with him. Self-interest will not
only change friendship into enmity, in this rascally world, but also
turn enmity into friendship. All Mr Pleggit's enormities, and all Mr
Cophagus's shameful conduct, were mutually forgotten. In less than ten
minutes it was "_My dear Mr Pleggit_, and so on," and "_My dear brother
Cophagus_."
In three weeks everything had been arranged between them, and the shop,
fixtures, stock in trade, and good will were all the property of our
ancient antagonist. But although Mr Pleggit could shake hands with Mr
Cophagus for his fixtures and _good will_, yet as Timothy and I were not
included in the _good will_, neither were we included among the
_fixtures_, and Mr Cophagus could not, of course, interfere with Mr
Pleggit's private arrangements. He did all he could do in the way of
recommendation; but Mr Pleggit had not forgotten my occasional
impertinences or the battle of the bottles. I really believe that his
_ill-will_ against Timothy was one reason for purchasing the _good will_
of Mr Cophagus; and we were very gently told by Mr Pleggit that he
would have no occasion for our services.
Mr Cophagus offered to procure me another situation as soon as he
could, and at the same time presented me with twenty guineas, as a proof
of his regard and appreciation of my conduct--but this sum put in my
hand decided me: I thanked him, and told him I had other views at
present, but hoped he would let me know where I might find him
hereafter, as I should be glad to see him again. He told me he would
leave his address for me at the Foundling Hospital, and shaking me
heartily by the hand, we parted. Timothy was then summoned. Mr
Cophagus gave him five guineas, and wished him good fortune.
"And now, Japhet, what are you about to do?" said Timothy, as he
descended into the shop.
"To do," replied I; "I am about to leave you, which is the only thing I
am sorry for. I am going, Timothy, in search of my father."
"Well," replied Timothy, "I feel as you do, Japhet, that it will be hard
to part; and there is another thing on my mind--which is, I am very
sorry that the bull did not break the rudimans (pointing to the iron
mortar and pestle); had he had but half the spite I have against it, he
would not have left a piece as big as a thimble. I've a great mind to
have a smack at it before I go."
"You will only injure Mr Cophagus, for the mortar will not then be paid
for."
"Very true; and as he has just given me five guineas, I will refrain
from my just indignation. But now, Japhet, let me speak to you. I
don't know how you feel, but I feel as if I could not part with you. I
do not want to go in search of my father particularly. They say it's a
wise child that knows its own father--but as there can be no doubt of my
other parent--if I can only hit upon her, I have a strong inclination to
go in search of my mother, and if you like my company, why I will go
with you--always, my dear Japhet," continued Tim, "keeping in my mind
the great difference between a person who has been fee'd as an M.D., and
a lad who only carries out his prescriptions."
"Do you really mean to say, Tim, that you will go with me?"
"Yes, to the end of the world, Japhet, as your companion, your friend,
and your servant, if you require it I love you, Japhet, and I will serve
you faithfully."
"My dear Tim, I am delighted; now I am really happy: we will have but
one purse, and but one interest; if I find good fortune, you shall share
it."
"And if you meet with ill luck, I will share that too--so the affair is
settled--and as here comes Mr Pleggit's assistants with only one pair
of eyes between them, the sooner we pack up the better."
In half an hour all was ready; a bundle each, contained our wardrobes.
We descended from our attic, walked proudly through the shop without
making any observation, or taking any notice of our successors; all the
notice taken was by Timothy, who turned round and shook his fist at his
old enemies, the iron mortar and pestle; and there we were, standing on
the pavement, with the wide world before us, and quite undecided which
way we should go.
"Is it to be east, west, north, or south, Japhet?" said Timothy.
"The wise men came from the east," replied I.
"Then they must have travelled west," said Tim; "let us show our wisdom
by doing the same."
"Agreed."
Passing by a small shop we purchased two good sticks, as defenders, as
well as to hang our bundles on--and off we set upon our pilgrimage.