(_Scene from that new Screaming Farce "The Political Box and Cox."_)
["Mr. GLADSTONE (says the _Daily Chronicle_) has
effected a formal reconciliation with the Member for
Northampton. He visited Mr. and Mrs. LABOUCHERE, took
tea with them, and had a long and very cordial
interview. So far, indeed, as Mr. LABOUCHERE ever had
any personal feeling in reference to his exclusion from
the Ministry, it may be regarded as dead."]
[Illustration]
_Box._ Although we are not destined to occupy the same--ahem!--Cabinet
Council Chamber--at present, I don't see any necessity for our cutting
each other's political throat, Sir.
_Cox._ Not at all. It's an operation that I should decidedly object to.
_Box._ And, after all, I've no violent animosity against _you_, Sir.
_Cox._ Nor have I any rooted antipathy to _you_. Sir.
_Box._ Besides, it was all--ahem!--Mrs.--ahem's fault, Sir!
_Cox_ (_embarrassed_). Well--ahem!--my--er--loyalty--as a man of
honour--to--er--that lady, Sir, forbids, Sir, my saying,
or--er--permitting to be said----
[_Gradually approaching chairs._
_Box._ Ah, exactly, I _quite_ understand that. The truth is----
_Cox_ (_quickly_). A most excellent thing, in its way. I always see it.
_Box._ Very well, Sir!
_Cox._ Very well, Sir! [_Pause._
_Box._ Take a little jam, Sir!
_Cox._ Thank you, Sir!
[_Taking a spoonful. Pause._
_Box._ Do you sing, Sir?
_Cox_ (_modestly_). I have, in days gone by, done a little Negro
Minstrelsy.
_Box._ Then give us a breakdown. _(Pause.)_ Well, well, perhaps the
suggestion's a little inopportune. What is your opinion of smoking, Sir?
[_Produces cigarette._
_Cox_ (_tartly_). I think it is a pestilent practice, Sir!
_Box_ (_puffing_). So do some other singular people, Sir. To be sure,
they may not so much object to it if the pipes are not loaded.
_Cox._ No--I daresay that _does_ make some difference.
_Box._ And yet, Sir, on the other hand, doesn't it strike you, as rather
a waste of time, for people to keep puffing away at pipes (or
Programmes) with nothing in 'em?
_Cox_ (_drily_). No, Sir--not more than any other harmless
recreation--such, for instance, as posing as a Party leader, without any
Party.
_Box_ (_aside_). Some of his own Party may be found a bit shaky. Next
time I invite him, it may be to tea--and turn-out!
_Cox_ (_aside_). Let him put _that_ in his pipe (or cigarette) and smoke
it!
_Box_ (_aloud_). Well, well, now we so thoroughly understand each other,
what--even Programmes--shall part us?
_Cox._ Who--even--ahem! a certain Party, shall tear us asunder?
_Box._ COX!
_Cox._ BOX!
[_About to embrace._ BOX _stops, seizes_ COX's _hand,
and looks eagerly in his face._
_Box._ You'll excuse the apparent insanity of the remark, but the more I
gaze on your features, the more I'm convinced that you'd never be such a
suicidal idiot as to--seek another Chamber?
_Cox_ (_winking_). Walker!
_Box._ Ah--tell me--in mercy tell me--have you such a thing as the
"Strawberry Leaves" in your eye?
_Cox._ No!
_Box._ Then we _are_ brothers!
[_They rush into each other's arms._
_Cox._ Of course, we stop where we are?
_Box._ Of course!
_Cox._ For between you and me, I'm rather partial to the House.
_Box._ So am I--I feel quite at home in it.
_Cox._ Everything so clean and comfortable!
_Box._ And I'm sure its Mistress, Mrs.--ahem!--from what little
_I've_ seen of her, is very anxious to do her best.
_Cox._ So she is--and I vote, Box, that we stand by her!
_Box._ Agreed! (_winks._) There's my hand upon it--join but yours--agree
that the House is big enough to hold us both, then Box----
_Cox._ And Cox----
_Both._ Are satisfied! [_Curtain._
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