[Day the Seventh]
A JEALOUS HUSBAND, IN THE GUISE OF A PRIEST, CONFESSETH HIS
WIFE, WHO GIVETH HIM TO BELIEVE THAT SHE LOVETH A PRIEST,
WHO COMETH TO HER EVERY NIGHT; AND WHILST THE HUSBAND
SECRETLY KEEPETH WATCH AT THE DOOR FOR THE LATTER, THE LADY
BRINGETH IN A LOVER OF HERS BY THE ROOF AND LIETH WITH HIM
Lauretta having made an end of her story and all having commended the
lady for that she had done aright and even as befitted her wretch of a
husband, the king, to lose no time, turned to Fiammetta and
courteously imposed on her the burden of the story-telling; whereupon
she began thus, "Most noble ladies, the foregoing story moveth me to
tell you, on like wise, of a jealous husband, accounting, as I do, all
that their wives do unto such,--particularly whenas they are jealous
without cause,--to be well done and holding that, if the makers of the
laws had considered everything, they should have appointed none other
penalty unto women who offend in this than that which they appoint
unto whoso offendeth against other in self-defence; for that jealous
men are plotters against the lives of young women and most diligent
procurers of their deaths. Wives abide all the week mewed up at home,
occupying themselves with domestic offices and the occasions of their
families and households, and after they would fain, like every one
else, have some solace and some rest on holidays and be at leisure to
take some diversion even as do the tillers of the fields, the artisans
of the towns and the administrators of the laws, according to the
example of God himself, who rested from all His labours the seventh
day, and to the intent of the laws, both human and Divine, which,
looking to the honour of God and the common weal of all, have
distinguished working days from those of repose. But to this jealous
men will on no wise consent; nay, those days which are gladsome for
all other women they make wretcheder and more doleful than the others
to their wives, keeping them yet closelier straitened and confined;
and what a misery and a languishment this is for the poor creatures
those only know who have proved it. Wherefore, to conclude, I say that
what a woman doth to a husband who is jealous without cause should
certes not be condemned, but rather commended.
There was, then, in Arimino a merchant, very rich both in lands and
monies, who, having to wife a very fair lady, became beyond measure
jealous of her; nor had he other cause for this save that, as he loved
her exceedingly and held her very fair and saw that she studied with
all her might to please him, even so he imagined that every man loved
her and that she appeared fair to all and eke that she studied to
please others as she did himself, which was the reasoning of a man of
nought and one of little sense. Being grown thus jealous, he kept such
strict watch over her and held her in such constraint that belike many
there be of those who are condemned to capital punishment who are less
straitly guarded of their gaolers; for, far from being at liberty to
go to weddings or entertainments or to church or indeed anywise to set
foot without the house, she dared not even stand at the window nor
look abroad on any occasion; wherefore her life was most wretched and
she brooked this annoy with the more impatience as she felt herself
the less to blame. Accordingly, seeing herself unjustly suspected of
her husband, she determined, for her own solacement, to find a means
(an she but might) of doing on such wise that he should have reason
for his ill usage of her. And for that she might not station herself
at the window and so had no opportunity of showing herself favourable
to the suit of any one who might take note of her, as he passed along
her street, and pay his court to her,--knowing that in the adjoining
house there was a certain young man both handsome and agreeable,--she
bethought herself to look if there were any hole in the wall that
parted the two houses and therethrough to spy once and again till such
time as she should see the youth aforesaid and find an occasion of
speaking with him and bestowing on him her love, so he would accept
thereof, purposing, if a means could be found, to foregather with him
bytimes and on this wise while away her sorry life till such time as
the demon [of jealousy] should take leave of her husband.
Accordingly, she went spying about the walls of the house, now in one
part and now in another, whenas her husband was abroad, and happened
at last upon a very privy place where the wall was somewhat opened by
a fissure and looking therethrough, albeit she could ill discover what
was on the other side, algates she perceived that the opening gave
upon a bedchamber there and said in herself, 'Should this be the
chamber of Filippo,' to wit, the youth her neighbour, 'I were half
sped.' Then, causing secretly enquire of this by a maid of hers, who
had pity upon her, she found that the young man did indeed sleep in
that chamber all alone; wherefore, by dint of often visiting the
crevice and dropping pebbles and such small matters, whenas she
perceived him to be there, she wrought on such wise that he came to
the opening, to see what was to do; whereupon she called to him
softly. He, knowing her voice, answered her, and she, profiting by the
occasion, discovered to him in brief all her mind; whereat the youth
was mightily content and made shift to enlarge the hole from his side
on such wise that none could perceive it; and therethrough they many a
time bespoke one another and touched hands, but could go no farther,
for the jealous vigilance of the husband.
After awhile, the Feast of the Nativity drawing near, the lady told
her husband that, an it pleased him, she would fain go to church on
Christmas morning and confess and take the sacrament, as other
Christians did. Quoth he, 'And what sin hast thou committed that thou
wouldst confess?' 'How?' answered the lady. 'Thinkest thou that I am a
saint, because thou keepest me mewed up? Thou must know well enough
that I commit sins like all others that live in this world; but I will
not tell them to thee, for that thou art not a priest.' The jealous
wretch took suspicion at these words and determined to seek to know
what sins she had committed; wherefore, having bethought himself of a
means whereby he might gain his end, he answered that he was content,
but that he would have her go to no other church than their parish
chapel and that thither she must go betimes in the morning and confess
herself either to their chaplain or to such priest as the latter
should appoint her and to none other and presently return home.
Herseemed she half apprehended his meaning; but without saying
otherwhat, she answered that she would do as he said.
Accordingly, Christmas Day come, the lady arose at daybreak and
attiring herself, repaired to the church appointed her of her husband,
who, on his part, betook himself to the same place and reached it
before her. Having already taken order with the chaplain of that which
he had a mind to do, he hastily donned one of the latter's gowns, with
a great flapped cowl, such as we see priests wear, and drawing the
hood a little over his face, seated himself in the choir. The lady,
entering the chapel, enquired for the chaplain, who came and hearing
from her that she would fain confess, said that he could not hear her,
but would send her one of his brethren. Accordingly, going away, he
sent her the jealous man, in an ill hour for the latter, who came up
with a very grave air, and albeit the day was not over bright and he
had drawn the cowl far over his eyes, knew not so well to disguise
himself but he was readily recognized by the lady, who, seeing this,
said in herself, 'Praised be God! From a jealous man he is turned
priest; but no matter; I will e'en give him what he goeth seeking.'
Accordingly, feigning not to know him, she seated herself at his feet.
My lord Jealousy had put some pebbles in his mouth, to impede his
speech somewhat, so his wife might not know him by his voice,
himseeming he was in every other particular so thoroughly disguised
that he was nowise fearful of being recognized by her. To come to the
confession, the lady told him, amongst other things, (having first
declared herself to be married,) that she was enamoured of a priest,
who came every night to lie with her. When the jealous man heard this,
himseemed he had gotten a knife-thrust in the heart, and had not
desire constrained him to know more, he had abandoned the confession
and gone away. Standing fast, then, he asked the lady, 'How! Doth not
your husband lie with you?' 'Ay doth he, sir,' replied she. 'How,
then,' asked the jealous man, 'can the priest also lie with you?'
'Sir,' answered she, 'by what art he doth it I know not, but there is
not a door in the house so fast locked but it openeth so soon as he
toucheth it; and he telleth me that, whenas he cometh to the door of
my chamber, before opening it, he pronounceth certain words, by virtue
whereof my husband incontinent falleth asleep, and so soon as he
perceiveth him to be fast, he openeth the door and cometh in and lieth
with me; and this never faileth.' Quoth the mock priest, 'Madam, this
is ill done, and it behoveth you altogether to refrain therefrom.'
'Sir,' answered the lady, 'methinketh I could never do that, for that
I love him too well.' 'Then,' said the other, 'I cannot shrive you.'
Quoth she, 'I am grieved for that; but I came not hither to tell you
lies; an I thought I could do it, I would tell you so.' 'In truth,
madam,' replied the husband, 'I am concerned for you, for that I see
you lose your soul at this game; but, to do you service, I will well
to take the pains of putting up my special orisons to God in your
name, the which maybe shall profit you, and I will send you bytimes a
little clerk of mine, to whom you shall say if they have profited you
or not; and if they have profited you, we will proceed farther.'
'Sir,' answered the lady, 'whatever you do, send none to me at home,
for, should my husband come to know of it, he is so terribly jealous
that nothing in the world would get it out of his head that your
messenger came hither for nought[352] but ill, and I should have no
peace with him this year to come.' Quoth the other, 'Madam, have no
fear of that, for I will certainly contrive it on such wise that you
shall never hear a word of the matter from him.' Then said she, 'So
but you can engage to do that, I am content.' Then, having made her
confession and gotten her penance, she rose to her feet and went off
to hear mass; whilst the jealous man, (ill luck go with him!)
withdrew, bursting with rage, to put off his priest's habit, and
returned home, impatient to find a means of surprising the priest with
his wife, so he might play the one and the other an ill turn.
[Footnote 352: Boccaccio writes carelessly "for _aught_" (_altro_),
which makes nonsense of the passage.]
Presently the lady came back from church and saw plainly enough from
her husband's looks that she had given him an ill Christmas; albeit he
studied, as most he might, to conceal that which he had done and what
himseemed he had learned. Then, being inwardly resolved to lie in wait
near the street-door that night and watch for the priest's coming, he
said to the lady, 'Needs must I sup and lie abroad to-night, wherefore
look thou lock the street-door fast, as well as that of the midstair
and that of thy chamber, and get thee to bed, whenas it seemeth good
to thee.' The lady answered, 'It is well,' and betaking herself, as
soon as she had leisure, to the hole in the wall, she made the wonted
signal, which when Filippo heard, he came to her forthright. She told
him how she had done that morning and what her husband had said to her
after dinner and added, 'I am certain he will not leave the house, but
will set himself to watch the door; wherefore do thou find means to
come hither to me to-night by the roof, so we may lie together.' The
young man was mightily rejoiced at this and answered, 'Madam, leave me
do.'
Accordingly, the night come, the jealous man took his arms and hid
himself by stealth in a room on the ground floor, whilst the lady,
whenas it seemed to her time,--having caused lock all the doors and in
particular that of the midstair, so he might not avail to come
up,--summoned the young man, who came to her from his side by a very
privy way. Thereupon they went to bed and gave themselves a good time,
taking their pleasure one of the other till daybreak, when the young
man returned to his own house. Meanwhile, the jealous man stood to his
arms well nigh all night beside the street-door, sorry and supperless
and dying of cold, and waited for the priest to come till near upon
day, when, unable to watch any longer, he returned to the ground floor
room and there fell asleep. Towards tierce he awoke and the street
door being now open, he made a show of returning from otherwhere and
went up into his house and dined. A little after, he sent a lad, as he
were the priest's clerkling that had confessed her, to the lady to ask
if she wot of were come thither again. She knew the messenger well
enough and answered that he had not come thither that night and that
if he did thus, he might haply pass out of her mind, albeit she wished
it not. What more should I tell you? The jealous man abode on the
watch night after night, looking to catch the priest at his entering
in, and the lady still had a merry life with her lover the while.
At length the cuckold, able to contain himself no longer, asked his
wife, with an angry air, what she had said to the priest the morning
she had confessed herself to him. She answered that she would not tell
him, for that it was neither a just thing nor a seemly; whereupon,
'Vile woman that thou art!' cried he. 'In despite of thee I know what
thou saidst to him, and needs must I know the priest of whom thou art
so mightily enamoured and who, by means of his conjurations, lieth
with thee every night; else will I slit thy weasand.' She replied that
it was not true that she was enamoured of any priest. 'How?' cried the
husband, 'Saidst thou not thus and thus to the priest who confessed
thee?' And she, 'Thou couldst not have reported it better, not to say
if he had told it thee, but if thou hadst been present; ay, I did tell
him this.' 'Then,' rejoined the jealous man, 'tell me who is this
priest, and that quickly.'
The lady fell a-smiling and answered, 'It rejoiceth me mightily to see
a wise man led by the nose by a woman, even as one leadeth a ram by
the horns to the shambles, albeit thou art no longer wise nor hast
been since the hour when, unknowing why, thou sufferedst the malignant
spirit of jealousy to enter thy breast; and the sillier and more
besotted thou art, so much the less is my glory thereof. Deemest thou,
husband mine, I am as blind of the eyes of the body as thou of those
of the mind? Certes, no; I perceived at first sight who was the priest
that confessed me and know that thou wast he; but I had it at heart to
give thee that which thou wentest seeking, and in sooth I have done
it. Wert thou as wise as thou thinkest to be, thou wouldst not have
essayed by this means to learn the secrets of thy good wife, but
wouldst, without taking vain suspicion, have recognized that which she
confessed to thee to be the very truth, without her having sinned in
aught. I told thee that I loved a priest, and wast not thou, whom I am
much to blame to love as I do, become a priest? I told thee that no
door of my house could abide locked, whenas he had a mind to lie with
me; and what door in the house was ever kept against thee, whenas thou
wouldst come whereas I might be? I told thee that the priest lay with
me every night, and when was it that thou layest not with me? And
whenassoever thou sentest thy clerk to me, which was thou knowest, as
often as thou layest from me, I sent thee word that the priest had not
been with me. What other than a crack-brain like thee, who has
suffered thyself to be blinded by thy jealousy, had failed to
understand these things? Thou hast abidden in the house, keeping
watch anights, and thoughtest to have given me to believe that thou
wast gone abroad to sup and sleep. Bethink thee henceforth and become
a man again, as thou wast wont to be; and make not thyself a laughing
stock to whoso knoweth thy fashions, as do I, and leave this
unconscionable watching that thou keepest; for I swear to God that, an
the fancy took me to make thee wear the horns, I would engage, haddest
thou an hundred eyes, as thou hast but two, to do my pleasure on such
wise that thou shouldst not be ware thereof.'
The jealous wretch, who thought to have very adroitly surprised his
wife's secrets, hearing this, avouched himself befooled and without
answering otherwhat, held the lady for virtuous and discreet; and
whenas it behoved him to be jealous, he altogether divested himself of
his jealousy, even as he had put it on, what time he had no need
thereof. Wherefore the discreet lady, being in a manner licensed to do
her pleasures, thenceforward no longer caused her lover to come to her
by the roof, as go the cats, but e'en brought him in at the door, and
dealing advisedly, many a day thereafter gave herself a good time and
led a merry life with him."