[Day the Seventh]
TOFANO ONE NIGHT SHUTTETH HIS WIFE OUT OF DOORS, WHO,
AVAILING NOT TO RE-ENTER BY DINT OF ENTREATIES, FEIGNETH TO
CAST HERSELF INTO A WELL AND CASTETH THEREIN A GREAT STONE.
TOFANO COMETH FORTH OF THE HOUSE AND RUNNETH THITHER,
WHEREUPON SHE SLIPPETH IN AND LOCKING HIM OUT, BAWLETH
REPROACHES AT HIM FROM THE WINDOW
The king no sooner perceived Elisa's story to be ended than, turning
without delay to Lauretta, he signified to her his pleasure that she
should tell; whereupon she, without hesitation, began thus, "O Love,
how great and how various is thy might! How many thy resources and thy
devices! What philosopher, what craftsman[348] could ever have availed
or might avail to teach those shifts, those feints, those subterfuges
which thou on the spur of the moment suggestest to whoso ensueth in
thy traces! Certes, all others' teaching is halting compared with
thine, as may very well have been apprehended by the devices which
have already been set forth and to which, lovesome ladies, I will add
one practised by a woman of a simple wit enough and such as I know
none but Love could have taught her.
[Footnote 348: Syn. professor of the liberal arts (_artista_).]
There was once, then, in Arezzo, a rich man called Tofano and he was
given to wife a very fair lady, by name Madam Ghita, of whom, without
knowing why, he quickly waxed jealous. The lady, becoming aware of
this, was despited thereat and questioned him once and again of the
reason of his jealousy; but he was able to assign her none, save such
as were general and naught; wherefore it occurred to her mind to cause
him die of the disease whereof he stood without reason in fear.
Accordingly, perceiving that a young man, who was much to her taste,
sighed for her, she proceeded discreetly to come to an understanding
with him and things being so far advanced between them that there
lacked but with deeds to give effect to words, she cast about for a
means of bringing this also to pass; wherefore, having already
remarked, amongst her husband's other ill usances, that he delighted
in drinking, she began not only to commend this to him, but would
often artfully incite him thereto. This became so much his wont that,
well nigh whensoever it pleased her, she led him to drink even to
intoxication, and putting him to bed whenas she saw him well drunken,
she a first time foregathered with her lover, with whom many a time
thereafter she continued to do so in all security. Indeed, she grew to
put such trust in her husband's drunkenness that not only did she make
bold to bring her gallant into the house, but went whiles to pass a
great part of the night with him in his own house, which was not very
far distant.
The enamoured lady continuing on this wise, it befell that the
wretched husband came to perceive that she, whilst encouraging him to
drink, natheless herself drank never; wherefore suspicion took him
that it might be as in truth it was, to wit, that she made him
drunken, so she might after do her pleasure what while he slept, and
wishing to make proof of this, an it were so, he one evening, not
having drunken that day, feigned himself, both in words and fashions,
the drunkenest man that was aye. The lady, believing this and judging
that he needed no more drink, put him to bed in all haste and this
done, betook herself, as she was used to do whiles, to the house of
her lover, where she abode till midnight. As for Tofano, no sooner did
he know the lady to have left the house than he straightway arose and
going to the doors, locked them from within; after which he posted
himself at the window, so he might see her return and show her that he
had gotten wind of her fashions; and there he abode till such time as
she came back. The lady, returning home and finding herself locked
out, was beyond measure woeful and began to essay an she might avail
to open the door by force, which, after Tofano had awhile suffered,
'Wife,' quoth he, 'thou weariest thyself in vain, for thou canst
nowise come in here again. Go, get thee back whereas thou hast been
till now and be assured that thou shalt never return thither till such
time as I shall have done thee, in respect of this affair, such honour
as beseemeth thee in the presence of thy kinsfolk and of the
neighbours.'
The lady fell to beseeching him for the love of God that it would
please him open to her, for that she came not whence he supposed, but
from keeping vigil with a she-neighbour of hers, for that the nights
were long and she could not sleep them all out nor watch at home
alone. However, prayers profited her nought, for that her brute of a
husband was minded to have all the Aretines[349] know their shame,
whereas none as yet knew it; wherefore, seeing that prayers availed
her not, she had recourse to threats and said, 'An thou open not to
me, I will make thee the woefullest man alive.' 'And what canst thou
do to me?' asked Tofano, and Mistress Tessa, whose wits Love had
already whetted with his counsels, replied, 'Rather than brook the
shame which thou wouldst wrongfully cause me suffer, I will cast
myself into this well that is herenigh, where when I am found dead,
there is none will believe otherwise than that thou, for very
drunkenness, hast cast me therein; wherefore it will behove thee flee
and lose all thou hast and abide in banishment or have thy head cut
off for my murderer, as thou wilt in truth have been.'
[Footnote 349: _i.e._ inhabitants of Arezzo.]
Tofano was nowise moved by these words from his besotted intent;
wherefore quoth she to him, 'Harkye now, I can no longer brook this
thy fashery, God pardon it thee! Look thou cause lay up[350] this
distaff of mine that I leave here.' So saying, the night being so dark
that one might scarce see other by the way, she went up to the well
and taking a great stone that lay thereby, cried out, 'God pardon me!'
and let it drop into the water. The stone, striking the water, made a
very great noise, which when Tofano heard, he verily believed that she
had cast herself in; wherefore, snatching up the bucket and the rope,
he rushed out of the house and ran to the well to succour her. The
lady, who had hidden herself near the door, no sooner saw him run to
the well than she slipped into the house and locked herself in; then,
getting her to the window, 'You should water your wine, whenas you
drink it,' quoth she, 'and not after and by night.' Tofano, hearing
this, knew himself to have been fooled and returned to the door, but
could get no admission and proceeded to bid her open to him; but she
left speaking softly, as she had done till then, and began, well nigh
at a scream, to say, 'By Christ His Cross, tiresome sot that thou art,
thou shalt not enter here to-night; I cannot brook these thy fashions
any longer; needs must I let every one see what manner of man thou art
and at what hour thou comest home anights.' Tofano, on his side,
flying into a rage, began to rail at her and bawl; whereupon the
neighbours, hearing the clamour, arose, both men and women, and coming
to the windows, asked what was to do. The lady answered, weeping, 'It
is this wretch of a man, who still returneth to me of an evening,
drunken, or falleth asleep about the taverns and after cometh home at
this hour; the which I have long suffered, but, it availing me not and
I being unable to put up with it longer, I have bethought me to shame
him therefor by locking him out of doors, to see and he will mend
himself thereof.'
[Footnote 350: _Riporre_, possibly a mistake for _riportare_, to fetch
back.]
Tofano, on the other hand, told them, like an ass as he was, how the
case stood and threatened her sore; but she said to the neighbours,
'Look you now what a man he is! What would you say, were I in the
street, as he is, and he in the house, as am I? By God His faith, I
doubt me you would believe he said sooth. By this you may judge of his
wits; he saith I have done just what methinketh he hath himself done.
He thought to fear me by casting I know not what into the well; but
would God he had cast himself there in good sooth and drowned himself,
so he might have well watered the wine which he hath drunken to
excess.' The neighbours, both men and women, all fell to blaming
Tofano, holding him at fault, and chid him for that which he said
against the lady; and in a short time the report was so noised abroad
from neighbour to neighbour that it reached the ears of the lady's
kinsfolk, who came thither and hearing the thing from one and another
of the neighbours, took Tofano and gave him such a drubbing that they
broke every bone in his body. Then, entering the house, they took the
lady's gear and carried her off home with them, threatening Tofano
with worse. The latter, finding himself in ill case and seeing that
his jealousy had brought him to a sorry pass, for that he still loved
his wife heartily,[351] procured certain friends to intercede for him
and so wrought that he made his peace with the lady and had her home
again with him, promising her that he would never be jealous again.
Moreover, he gave her leave to do her every pleasure, provided she
wrought so discreetly that he should know nothing thereof; and on this
wise, like a crack-brained churl as he was, he made peace after
suffering damage. So long live Love and death to war and all its
company!"
[Footnote 351: Lit. wished her all his weal.]