_Monday.--Lohengrin._ House full to hear Brother JOHN and Madame
MELBA. "Please, Sir, Mr. JOHNNIE DE RISKY ain't here," blurts out the
pale and trembling call-boy.
[Illustration: Cherubino takes the Chair at a small Meeting. A De
Risky situation.]
Sir AUGUSTUS calm, impassible. Crisis. If no one turned up, he would
act the part himself, and, it being Wagnerian music, the orchestra
would play what of the part had to be played. At that moment lounged
in Monsieur VAN DYCK, just to see how things were going on without
him. "I'm a little hoarse to-night," quoth VAN DYCK, pleasantly.
"Nonsense!" cries Sir DRURIOLANUS, cheerily, "a '_Van_' can never be
a little hoarse." Much merriment. "DYCK, my boy," continues Sir D.,
"you've come in the very nick of time--quite a Devil's Dyke, you
are,"--the accomplished vocalist was in ecstasies at his Manager's
joke,--"and you shall distinguish yourself to-night as _Lohengrin_!"
Oh, what a surprise! No sooner said than done. Armour for one ordered
immediately. ISAAC of York Street goes to work, and--presto!--VAN
DYCK is "ready in case." "Now," asks DRURIOLANUS, "what are we waiting
for?"
"Please, Sir, Madame MELBA isn't here!"
"MELBA not here to play _Elsa_!" exclaims Sir DRURIOLANUS, immediately
adding, with that wit which is always, like the British Tar, 'Ready,
aye ready!'--"then we must get somebody Else Sir!" and scarcely had
the words escaped his lips, than Madame NORDICA, who happened to
be passing by, sang out in an extempore recitative, "_Me voici!_"
"_Bravissima!_" cried Sir DRURIOLANUS. "Saved! Saved!" General dance
of joy.
So the Curtain was rung up, and the Opera, with Madame NORDICA (_vice_
MELBA) as _Elsa_, and VAN DYCK (_vice_ Little JOHNNIE THE RISKY) as
_Lohengrin_, made a big success. House crowded. All's well that ends
as well as this.
[Illustration: Sir Druriolanus, M.P.(ressario) for Covent Garden.]
_Tuesday with Mozart._--What a good starting idea for a Comic Opera
would be the notion of making those two types of knaves, _Leporello_
and _Figaro_, meet as counter-plotters. Monsieur MAUREL suggests
a step in this direction, when one night he impersonates the gay
Spanish Don, and on another he appears as the roguish Italian barber,
no longer an intriguing bachelor but a jealous bridegroom. Merry
Melodious MOZART! Old-fashioned he may be, like not a few of the best
melodies and the best stories. Elegant Countess is Madame EMMA EAMES.
Can she possibly ever have been _Rosina_, _Dr. Bartolo's_ tricky ward!
What a change matrimony makes in some folks! Old _Dr. Bartolo_ bears
not much resemblance to the other _Dr. Bartolo_, and _Don Basilio_, a
kind of Ecclesiastical lawyer, is quite a rollicking wag as compared
with the _Basilio_ of the Barber of Seville. Nothing could be better
than the _Susanna_ of Mlle. TELEKI, or sweeter than the duet, heartily
encored, between her and the _Countess_. EDOUARD DE RESZKÉ is a
magnificent representative of the gloomily-jealous Count, who, having
once been the gayest of the gay, still retains something of his old
sly-boots character in private. He is always going wrong, and always
being in the wrong when found out: a Count quite at a discount, for
whom there will perhaps be no rest until he is "par." with a family.
Needless to say, the part was well acted and sung by Brother NED, whom
a gentleman near me, who "knew all about it," mistook for his brother
JOHN, and criticised accordingly. As _Cherubino_, Mlle. SIGRID
ARNOLDSON is a delightfully boyish scapegrace, giving us just that
_soupçon_ of natural awkwardness which a spoilt sunny Southern lad of
sixteen, brought up in such mixed society as is represented by _Count
Almaviva's_ household, would occasionally show when more than usually
"spoony." Mlle. ARNOLDSON sings MOZART pure and simple, without
interpolating cadenzas, roulades, nourishes, or exercises of musical
fireworks, and the audience rewarded her artistically simple rendering
of "_Voi che sapete_" with an _encore_, which was as hearty as it was
well-deserved. Capital House. Parliamentary musicians conspicuous by
their absence. Ex-M.P.'s represented in a body by Sir H-NRY EDW-RDS
the evergreen.
It was reported in the House--the Opera House--that Sir DRURIOLANUS
was standing; but for what Constituency, was not mentioned. The rumour
was justified by his appearing at the Stall entrance, where he stood
for some time, but as he finely observed, "I am not in search of a
seat--in Parliament. No! Let who will make the people's laws, give
me the bringing out for them of their Operas and Pantomimes." So
saying, he bowed gracefully to nobody in particular (who happened
to be talking to him), and, with a refreshing wave of the hand, Sir
DRURIOLANUS was wafted away into the offing, and "lost to sight,"
while still "to memory dear."
_Trumpet Note in advance._--_The Trompeter of Sakkingen_ is announced
as "in active preparation." Needless to say more, as, of course, he
blows his own trumpet for himself. The question is, will it be a big
trump in the hand of Sir DRURIOLANUS?
_Saturday._--_Elaine_ changed her mind, and wouldn't come out
to-night.
* * * * *
[Illustration]
NEW RENDERING OF "CONSULE PLANCO"--"CONSULT PLANCHETTE."--If
"Planchette" can give such accurate information as it appears to
have done at Mr. CHARLES WYNDHAM's supper-party, and elsewhere, as
recounted in the _Daily Telegraph_, why is it not at once put into
general requisition? Why is there any Parliamentary debating? Why not
use "Planchette?" Why run any chance of losing on a race, but simply
"ask Planchette?" Only, by the way, if this were universal, and if
everyone is to win, who is to lose? Thus Planchette would put an end
to nearly all speculation. Planchette would inaugurate a new era
of complete and unqualified success. No doubt Mr. CHARLES WYNDHAM
consulted Planchette before producing _The Fringe of Society_, and
is in consequence being amply rewarded for placing his trust in
Planchette. Failure would be impossible except to the obstinate few
who should persistently refuse to pin their faith on the utterances
of "Planchette." But, suppose after doing enough to establish her
reputation, "Planchette," being feminine and therefore "_varium et
mutabile semper_," should suddenly deceive her followers, as did
_Zamiel's_ seventh charmed bullet (which ought always to have been
kept up _Caspar's_ sleeve--but _Caspar_ was an idiot), and the Weird
but Larky Sisters who captivated _Macbeth_?
"Trust her not, she's fooling thee, Beware! Beware!" and Planchette,
the little plank, will make more of her followers "plank down" than
pick up gold and silver.
* * * * *
"DEAREST CHUCK!"--_SHAKSPEARE._
"_Mr. G._" (_to the Ardent Female Supporter, henceforth to be
historically known as "The Gingerbread-nut-Chucker"_):--
'Twas all very well to dissemble your love,
But why chuck the nut in my eye?
[_Mr. G. is aware that the Divine WILLIAMS has spoken of
ginger as "hot in the mouth," but Mr. G. says "he got it
uncommonly hot in the eye."_]
* * * * *
"THE RETURN OF THE PRODIGAL."--Lord RANDOLPH in again for South
Paddington. The First to arrive.
* * * * *
NOTICE.--Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS.,
Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will in no
ease be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed
Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule there will be no exception.