Foote the comedian was, in his youthful days, a student of Worcester
College, Oxford, under the care of the Provost, Dr. Gower. The Doctor
was a learned and amiable man, but a pedant. The latter characteristic
was soon seized upon by the young satirist, as a source whereon to
turn his irresistible passion for wit and humour. The church at this
time belonging to Worcester College, fronted a lane were cattle were
turned out to graze, and (as was then the case in many towns, and is
still in some English villages) the church porch was open, with the
bell-ropes suspended in the centre. Foote tied a wisp of hay to one of
them, and this was no sooner scented by the cattle at night, than it
was seized upon as a dainty morsel. Tug, tug, went one and all, and
"ding-dong" went the bell at midnight, to the astonishment of the
Doctor, the sexton, the whole parish, and the inmates of the College.
The young wag kept up the joke for several successive nights, and
reports of ghosts, goblins, and frightful visions, soon filled the
imagination of old and young with alarm, and many a simple man and
maiden whisked past the scene of midnight revel ere the moon had
"filled her horns," struck with fear and trembling. The Doctor
suspected some trick. He, accordingly, engaged the Sexton to watch
with him for the detection of the culprit. They had not long lain hid,
under favour of a dark night, when "ding-dong" went the bell again:
both rushed from their hiding places, and the sexton commenced the
attack by seizing the cow's tail, exclaiming, "'Tis a gentleman
commoner,--I have him by the tail of his gown!" The Doctor approached
on the opposite tack, and seized a horn with both hands, crying, "No,
no, you blockhead, 'tis the postman,--I have caught the rascal by his
_blowing-horn_!" and both bawled lustily for assistance, whilst the
cow kicked and flung to get free; but both held fast till lights were
procured, when the real offender stood revealed, and the laugh of the
whole town was turned upon the Doctor and his fellow-_night_-errant,
the Sexton.
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