What deluges of Christian ink have been shed on both sides in this
weighty controversy, to prove which is the elder of the two learned
and most ingenious ladies? It is wonderful to see that they should
always be making themselves older than they really are; so contrary
to most of their sex, who love to conceal their wrinkles and gray
hairs as much as they can; whereas these two aged matrons are always
quarrelling for seniority, and employing counsel to plead their causes
for 'em. These are Old _Nick Cantalupe_ and _Caius_ on one side, and
_Bryan Twynne_ and _Tony Wood_ on the other, who, with equal learning,
deep penetration, and acuteness, have traced their ages back, God
knows how far: one was born just after the siege of _Troy_, and the
other several hundred years before Christ; since which time they have
gone by as many names as the pretty little _bantling_ at _Rome_,
or the woman that was hanged t'other day in _England_, for having
twenty-three husbands. _Oxford_, say they, was the daughter of
_Mempricius_, an old _British_ King, who called her from his own
name, _Caer Memprick_, alias _Greeklade_, alias _Leechlade_, alias
_Rhidycen_, alias _Bellositum_, alias _Oxenforde_, alias _Oxford_,
as all great men's children have several names. So was _Cambridge_,
say others, the daughter of one _Cantaber_, a _Spanish_ rebel and
fugitive, who called her _Caergrant_, alias _Cantabridge_, alias
_Cambridge_. But, that I may not affront either of these old ladies,"
adds this facetious but sarcastic writer, "I will not take it upon me
to decide which of the two hath most wrinkles * * * *. Who knows but
they may be twins."
Another authority, the author of the History of Cambridge, published
by Ackermann, in 1815, says that