Concerning the manner of the Shahs reception; of the present made him,
and the conversation which ensued.
On the morning of the day upon which this great event was to happen (a
day which had been duly settled as auspicious by the astrologers) the
note of preparation was heard throughout the whole of Mirza Ahmaks
dwelling. The kings tent-pitchers had taken possession of the saloon
of audience in which he was to hold his court, where they spread
fresh carpets and prepared the royal musnud,[53] covering it with
a magnificent shawl. They threw water over the court yard, set the
fountains playing, and fitted on a new curtain to the front of the
building. The kings gardeners also came and decked the premises with
flowers. On the surface of the pool of water, immediately facing the
spot where his majesty was to be seated, they spread rose leaves in
curious devices. Around the marble basin they placed rows of oranges,
and a general appearance of freshness and cheerfulness was given to the
whole scene.
Then the cooks, a numerous and most despotic band, arrived with such
accompaniments of pots, pans, braziers, and boilers, that the doctor,
out of all patience, inquired of the head of the kitchen, what this
meant; whether it was intended that he should feed all the city, as well
as the king.
Not quite all was his answer; but perhaps you will recollect the
words of Saadi:
If from the peasants tree, the king an apple craves, Down with it root
and branch, exclaim his ready slaves; And should he, in dainty mood, one
single egg require, Lo! thousand spitted birds revolve before the fire.
They took possession of the kitchen, which did not contain one-quarter
of the space required for their operations, and consequently it was
necessary to erect temporary fire-places in the adjoining court, where
the braziers were placed, and in which was boiled the rice that is
distributed on such occasions to all present. Besides the cooks, a body
of confectioners established themselves in one of the apartments, where
the sweetmeats, the sherbets, the ices, and the fruits were prepared;
and they called for so many ingredients, that the doctor had nearly
expired when the list was presented to him. In addition to all these,
arrived the kings band of singers and musicians, and the _Lûti Bashi_
(jester in chief) accompanied by twenty lûtis, each with a drum hanging
over his shoulder.
The time appointed for the visit was after the evenings prayer, which
is made at sunset. At that hour, when the heat of the day had partly
subsided, and the inhabitants of Tehran were about to enjoy the cool
of the evening, the Shah left his palace, and proceeded to the doctors
house. The streets had been swept and watered; and as the royal cortége
approached, flowers were strewn on the path. Mirza Ahmak himself had
proceeded to the royal presence to announce that all was ready, and
walked close to the kings stirrup during the cavalcade.
The procession was opened by the heralds, who, with the distinguishing
club of office in their hands, and ornament on the head, proclaimed the
kings approach, and marshalled every one on the road. The tops of the
walls were occupied by women in their white veils, and in the better
houses they were seen to be peeping through the holes made in the
screens which surround their terraces. Then followed a great body of
tent-pitchers and carpet-spreaders, with long slender sticks in their
hands, keeping the road clear from intruders. After this, walked a crowd
of well-dressed officers of the stable, bearing rich embroidered saddle
housings over their shoulders; then servants in the gayest attire, with
gold pipes in their hands, the kings shoe bearer, the kings ewer and
basin bearer, the carrier of his cloak, the comptroller of the opium
box, and a number of other domestics. As this was only a private
procession, his majesty was preceded by no led horses, which usually
form so splendid a part of his grand displays. To these succeeded a
train of running footmen, two and two, fantastically dressed, some with
gold coins embroidered on their black velvet coats, others dressed in
brocades, and others in silks: they immediately preceded the Shah in
person, who was attended by the chief of the running footmen, a man of
considerable consequence, known by the enamelled handled whip stuck in
his girdle. The king rode a quiet ambling horse, richly caparisoned;
but his own dress was plain, and only distinguished by the beauty of the
shawls and other materials of which it was composed. After him, at an
interval of fifty paces, followed three of the kings sons, then the
noble of nobles, the great master of the ceremonies, the master of the
horse, the court poet, and many others, all attended by their servants:
and at length when the whole party were collected together, who were
to partake of Mirza Ahmaks substance, five hundred would probably be
called a moderate number.
The king alighted at the gate, the entrance being too narrow to ride
through; and proceeded up the centre walk of the court to the seat
prepared for him in the great saloon. Every one, except the princes,
stood without, and the doctor himself did the duties of a menial.
After his majesty had been seated some little time, the master of
ceremonies, accompanied by the master of the house, walking barefooted,
appeared near the reservoir, the latter holding up breast high a silver
salver, in which were spread one hundred tomauns of new coinage. The
master, of ceremonies then exclaimed, in a loud voice, The meanest of
your majestys slaves makes a humble representation to the Centre of the
Universe, the King of Kings, the Shadow of God upon earth, that Mirza
Ahmak, the kings chief physician, dares to approach the sacred dust of
your majestys feet, and to bring by way of an offering one hundred gold
tomauns.
To which the king answered, You are welcome, Mirza Ahmak. Praise be
to God, you are a good servant. The Shah has a particular share of
condescension for you; your face is whitened, your consequence has
increased, Go, give praises to God, that the king has come to your
house, and has accepted your present.
Upon which the doctor knelt down and kissed the ground.
Then his majesty, turning to his noble of nobles, exclaimed, By the
head of the Shah, Mirza Ahmak is a good man. There is no one like him
now in Persia--he is wiser by far than Locman--more learned than Galen.
Yes, yes, answered the noble of nobles; Locman indeed! whose dog was
he, or Galen? This also comes from the happy star of the King of Kings.
Such a king Persia before never saw, and such a doctor for such a king!
Men may praise the doctors of Europe and of India, but where is
science to be found, if it be not in Persia?--Who shall dare to claim
a superiority, as long as the land of Persia is enlightened by the
presence of its Shah without compare?
Thats all true, said the king. Persia is the country which, from the
beginning of the world to the present day, has always been famous for
the genius of its inhabitants, and the wisdom and splendour of its
monarchs. From Kaiumars, the first king of the world, to me who am the
present Shah, what list is so perfect, so glorious? India also had her
sovereigns, Arabia her caliphs, Turkey her _Khon Khors_ (lit. blood
drinkers), Tartary her khans, and China her emperors; but as for the
Franks, who come into my dominions from God knows where, to buy and
sell, and to bring me tribute of presents,--they, poor infidels! have a
parcel of kings, of whose countries even the names have not reached our
ears.
_Belli, belli,_ Yes, yes! said the nobleman, I am your sacrifice.
Except the English and the French nations, which by all accounts are
something in the world, all others are but little better than nothing.
As for Moscovites, they are not Europeans--they are less than the dogs
of Europe.
Ha! ha! ha! you say true, answered the king, laughing. They had their
_Khûrshîd Colah_,[54] their Head of Glory as they called her, who for
a woman was a wonderful person, tis true--and we all know that when
a woman meddles with anything, _pena be khoda_, it is then time to
put ones trust in God; but after her, they had a Paul, who was a pure
madman; who, to give you an instance of what his folly was, wanted to
march an army to India; just as if the _Kizzil Bashes_[55] would ever
have allowed it. A Russian puts on a hat, a tight coat, and tight
breeches, shaves his beard, and then calls himself a European. You might
just as well tie the wings of a goose to your back and call yourself an
angel.
Wonderful, wonderful, exclaimed the head of the nobles; the
Shah-in-Shah speaks like an angel. Show us a king in Europe that would
speak like him.
Yes, yes, was chorused by all the bystanders.
May he live a thousand years, said one.
May his shadow never be less, said another.
But it is of their women, continued the king, of whom we hear
the most extraordinary accounts. In the first place, they have no
_anderûn_[56] in their houses; men and women all live together; then the
women never wear veils--they show their faces to whoever chooses to look
at them, like those of our wandering tribes. Tell me, Mirza Ahmak, you
that are a doctor and a philosopher, by what extraordinary arrangement
of providence does it happen, that we Mussulmans should be the only
people on earth who can depend upon our wives, and who can keep them in
subjection. You, said his majesty, smiling ironically, you I hear are
blessed above all men in an obedient and dutiful wife.
Possessed of the kindness and protection of the King of Kings,
answered the doctor, I am blessed with everything that can make life
happy. I, my wife, my family, are your humble slaves, and everything
we have your property. If your slave possesses any merit, it is none
of his; it all emanates from the asylum of the world: even my failings
become virtues, when the king commands me. But what lamp can shine in
the face of, the sun, or what minaret can be called high at the foot
of the mountain of Alwend? With respect to what your majesty has been
pleased to say concerning women, it appears to the meanest of your
slaves, that there must be a great affinity between beasts and
Europeans, and which accounts for the inferiority of the latter to
Mussulmans. Male and female beasts herd promiscuously together; so do
the Europeans. The female beasts do not hide their faces; neither do the
Europeans. They wash not, nor do they pray five times a day; neither do
the Europeans. They live in friendship with swine; so do the Europeans;
for instead of exterminating the unclean beast, as we do, I hear that
every house in Europe has an apartment fitted up for its hog. Then as
for their women indeed! What dog seeing its female in the streets does
not go and make himself agreeable? so doubtless does the European. Wife
in those unclean countries must be a word without a meaning, since every
mans wife is every mans property.
Well said, doctor, exclaimed the king; tis plain, then, that all are
beasts but us. Our holy Prophet (upon whom be blessing and peace!) has
told us as much. The infidel will never cease roasting, whilst the
true believer will be eternally seated next to his houri in the seventh
heaven! But we hear, doctor, that your Paradise has begun here on earth,
and that you have got your houris already. Ah! how is that?
Upon which Mirza Ahmak made a low prostration, and said, Whatever the
monarch permits his slave to possess is the monarchs. The hour will
be fortunate, and Mirza Ahmaks head will reach the skies, when the
propitious step of the King of Kings shall pass the threshold of his
unworthy anderûn.
We shall see with our own eyes, rejoined the king; a look from the
king brings good luck. Go, give notice to your harem that the Shah
will visit it; and if there be any one sick, any one whose desires are
unaccomplished, any maiden who sighs for her lover, or any wife who
wishes to get rid of her husband, let them come forward, let them look
at the king, and good fortune will attend them.
Upon this the poet, who had hitherto remained silent, his mind
apparently absorbed in thought, exclaimed, Whatever the king
hath ordained is only an additional proof of his beneficence and
condescension; and then in very good verse he sung--
The firmament possesses but one sun, and the land of Irâk but one king.
Life, light, joy, and prosperity attend them both wherever they appear.
The doctor may boast of his medicine; but what medicine is equal to a
glance from the kings eye?
What is spikenard? what _mumiai_? what _pahzer_?[57] compared even to
the twinkle of a royal eyelash!
Oh! Mirza Ahmak, happiest of men, and most blessed of doctors!
Now, indeed, you possess within your walls an antidote to every
disorder, a specific against every evil.
Shut up your Galen, burn your Hippocrates, and put Avicenna in a corner:
the father of them all is here in person.
Who will take cassia when an eye is to be had, or will writhe under a
blister when a look will relieve him?
Oh! Mirza Ahmak, happiest of men, and most blessed of doctors!
Every one present had kept the strictest silence when this was
repeating, when the king exclaimed, _Aferîn_, this is well; you are
indeed a poet, and worthy of our reign. Who was Ferdousi when compared
to you? As for Mahmoud, the Ghaznevi, _hâk bûd_ (he was dirt). Go to
him, said he to the noble of nobles, go, kiss him on the mouth, and,
when that is done, fill it with sugar-candy. Every pleasure should
attend such a mouth, from whence such good things proceed.
Upon which the noble of nobles, who was endowed with a large and bushy
beard, approached the poet, and inflicted a kiss upon his mouth, which
also was protected by an appropriate quantity of hair; and then from a
plate of sugar-candy, which was handed to him, he took as many lumps as
would quite fill his jaws, and inserted them therein with his fingers
with all due form.
Though evidently distressed with his felicity, the poet did his utmost
to appear at the summit of all happiness, and grinned with such rare
contortions, that involuntary tears flowed from his eyes as fast as the
sugar-candy distilled through his lips.
The king then dismissed his courtiers and attendants, and preparations
were made for serving up the royal dinner.
[Illustration: The procession of slaves before the Shah. 17.jpg.]