than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching
of this our latter night!” She replied:——With love and good will! It
hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding,
lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and
worthy celebrating, that quoth the Fakir to the Wazir, “By Allah, O my
lord, my heart hath indeed been with thee for this space of seven years;
and often as I went to thy mansion, they told me that the Sultan is
wroth with the Wazir; withal I still awaited for thee until this very
day, when I repaired to thy quarters according to my custom and I found
in thy house much folk, this sweeping and that sprinkling and that
spreading, and all were in joyous case. So I asked of the bystanders and
they informed me that the Sovran hath become satisfied with thee and
that on the ensuing night thou wilt hie thee home for that this thy
saying is soothfast.”[335] “O Darwaysh,” replied the other, “’Tis true
that I sent to my household and informed them thereof, for that I have
received welcome news from an event befel me; so I bade apprise those at
home that the Sultan is satisfied with me; and to me, O Darwaysh, hath
betided a matter wondrous and an occurrence marvellous; were it written
with needle-gravers upon the eye-corners it had been a warning to whoso
would be warned.” The Fakir asked, “And what may be that?” and the other
answered:—By Allah, O Darwaysh, the while I was in the service of His
Highness the King, I was a true counsellor to him and pitiful to the
lieges and I never deceived him nor did I betray him at any time at all;
and often as he sent me to a place wherein were mutual strife and
trouble and wrong and tyranny, I smoothed matters and pacified the folk
and righted wrongs amongst them by the power of Almighty Allah. But one
day of the days, my mind was set upon riding out to the waste lands
about the town and the gardens thereof, by way of solacing myself; so I
embarked in a little caïque[336] upon the river and when we were amid
stream I had a longing for coffee;[337] so I said to the boatman, “Abide
in this place and throw out the anchor while we drink coffee.” Hereat
all my suite arose and busied themselves in preparing it until ’twas
ready and I had a finján[338] worth a treasury[339] of money which they
filled and passed to me. I took it as I was sitting upon the gunwale of
the boat whence it dropped into the stream; and I was sorely sorrowful
therefor, because that cup was a souvenir. Seeing this, all in the boat
arose and sent for a diver who asked, saying, “In what place hath the
finjan fallen that I may seek it? and do ye inform me of its
whereabouts.” So we sought for a pebble in the caïque but we found none,
and as I wore upon my finger a signet-ring which was worth two
treasuries of money I drew it off and cast it into the water crying,
“The cup fell from me in this place.” But when the ducker saw me throw
my ring he said to me, “Wherefore, O my lord, hast thou parted with thy
seal?” and said I to him, “The deed is done.” Then he went down and
plunged into the deep for a while and behold he came up grasping the
cup, in the middle of which we saw the signet-ring. Now when this mighty
great matter befel me, I said to myself, “Ho certain person, there
remaineth upon this good luck no better luck; and haply there will befal
thee somewhat contrary to this.”[340] However those with me rejoiced at
the finding of my two losses, nor did any fear therefrom my change of
state and downfall, but they wondered and said, “By Allah, this is a
rare matter!” Then we went forward in the caïque until we had reached
the place intended, where we tarried the whole of that day and presently
returned home. But hardly was I settled and had I taken seat in my
home-quarters when behold, a party of Chamberlains of the King’s suite
came in to me and said, “The Sultan requireth thee!” Accordingly, I
arose and mounted horse and rode on till I had come to the palace and
entered the presence; and I designed to offer suit and service to the
King as was my wont, when suddenly he cried, “Carry him away.” So they
bore me off and confined me in this place, after which the Sultan sent
and interdicted me from eating a tittle of flesh food, and here I am
after the space of seven years, O Darwaysh, still in the same condition.
Now on the morning of this day my stomach craved for meat, so I said to
the gaoler, “O Such-and-such, ’tis now seven years since I tasted flesh,
so take this ashrafi and bring us an ounce of meat.” He accepted the
money saying, “’Tis well,” and went forth from me and brought me my
need.——And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day and fell silent
and ceased saying her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad,
“How sweet and tasteful is thy tale, O sister mine, and how enjoyable
and delectable!” Quoth she, “And where is this compared with that I
would relate to you on the coming night an the Sovran suffer me to
survive?” Now when it was the next night and that was
The Seven Hundred and Thirty-third Night,
Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other
than sleepy, finish for us thy tale, that we may cut short the watching
of this our latter night!” She replied:——With love and good will! It
hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding,
lord of the rede which is benefiting, and of deeds fair-seeming and
worthy celebrating, that the Wazir continued to the Fakir, “Then, O
Darwaysh, we divided the meat (I and the gaoler) with our fingers, and
we washed it and set it upon the hearth, building a fire beneath it
until it was cooked, when we took it off, and after waiting awhile
dished it up and were about to eat it.” But it happened to be noon-tide,
and the hour of incumbent orisons, so we said, “Let us pray our
prayers;” and we arose and made the Wuzú ablution, and went through the
mid-day devotions. After this we set the plate before us; and I,
removing its cover, put forth my hand to take up a bit of meat, but as I
took it, behold, a mouse passed over that same morsel with its tail and
paws.[341] I cried, “There is no Majesty and there is no Might save in
Allah the Glorious, the Great! I have divided this meat with my own hand
and have cooked it myself, so how could this matter have occurred?
However, Allah the Omniscient haply knoweth that the stumbling stone
hath been removed from my path,” and this I said, for when I saw that
mouse do on such wise I felt that glad news and good tidings were coming
from the Lord of the Heavens and the Earth. So I sent to my home and
informed them that the Sultan was satisfied with me, for things when at
their worst mend, and in joyance end; and I opine, O Darwaysh, that all
my troubles have now ceased. Said to him the Fakir, “Alhamdolillah—Glory
be to God—O my lord, who hath sent thee forerunners of welfare.” Then he
arose from beside the Wazir, and went forth and ceased not wending until
he came to his palace where he doffed his disguise and donned the
garments of the Kings, and taking seat upon the throne of his Kingship
summoned the Wazir from his gaol in all joy, and set him between his
hands and gifted him with sumptuous gifts. And all displeasure in the
Sultan’s heart being removed from the Wazir he committed to him once
more the management of all his affairs.[342] But when Ibn Ahyam
(continued Shahrazad) had ended his history of the Righteous Wazir he
presently began to tell the tale of
THE CAIRENE YOUTH, THE BARBER, AND THE CAPTAIN.
It is related that in Misr there was a Youth, a Shalabí,[343] sans peer
for semblance and excellence, and he had to friend a lovely woman whose
husband was a Yúzbáshí[344] or captain. Now whenever that young man or
his playmate would fain conjoin, each with other, union proved almost
impossible and yet his heart was always hanging to her love and she was
in similar state and even more enamoured, for that he was passing fair
of form and feature. One day of the days the Captain returned home and
said to his wife, “I am invited to such a place this afternoon,
therefore an thou require aught ask it of me ere I go.” Cried they,[345]
“We want nothing save thy safety;” yet were they delighted therewith,
and the youth’s friend said, “Alhamdolillah—Glory to God—this day we
will send to a certain person and bring him hither and we will make
merry he and I.” As soon as the husband fared forth his home in order to
visit the gardens according to his invitation, the wife said to a small
boy which was an eunuch beside her, “Ho boy, hie thee to Such-an-one
(the Shalabi) and seek him till thou forgather with him and say to
him:—My lady salameth to thee and saith, Come to her house at this
moment.” So the little slave went from his mistress and ceased not
wending to seek the Shalabi (her friend) till he found him in a barber’s
booth where at that time it was his design to have his head shaved and
he had ordered the shaver so to do. The man said to him, “O, my lord,
may this our day be blessed!” whereupon he brought out from his budget a
clean towel, and going up to the Shalabi dispread it all about his
breast. Then he took his turband and hung it to a peg[346] and placing a
basin before him washed his pate, and was about to poll it when behold,
the boy-slave passed within softly pacing, and inclining to him
whispered in his ear confidentially between them twain so that none
might overhear them, “My lady So-and-so sendeth thee many salams and
biddeth me let thee know that to-day the coast is clear, the Captain
being invited out to a certain place. Do thou come to her at once and if
thou delay but a little thou mayst not avail to possess her nor may she
possess thee, and if thou be really reminded to forgather with her come
with all speed.” Hearing these words of the boy the lover’s wits were
wildered and he could not keep patience; no, not for a minute; and he
cried to the Barber, “Dry my head this instant and I will return to
thee, for I am in haste to finish a requirement.” With these words he
put his hand into his breast pouch and pulling out an ashrafi gave it to
the Barber, who said in himself, “An he have given me a gold-piece for
wetting his poll, how will it be when I shall have polled him? Doubtless
he will then gift me with half a score of dinars!” Hereupon the youth
went forth from the Barber who followed him saying, “Allah upon thee, O
my lord, when thou shalt have ended thy business, return to me that I
may shave thy scalp and ’twere better that thou come to the shop.”
“Right well,” said the youth, “we will presently return to thee,” and he
continued walking until he drew near the place of his playmate when
suddenly the Barber caught him up a second time——And Shahrazad was
surprised by the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased to say her
permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, “How sweet is thy story,
O sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable!” Quoth she, “And where
is this compared with that I would relate to you on the coming night an
the King suffer me to survive?” Now when it was the next night and that
was
The Seven Hundred and Thirty-fifth Night,
Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other
than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching
of this our latter night!” She replied:——With love and good will! It
hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding,
lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and
worthy celebrating, that when the youth approached the house of his
friends, suddenly the Barber caught him up hard by thereto and placing
himself in front said, “Allah upon thee, O my lord, do not forget me,
but be sure of return to the shop that I may poll thee.” Quoth the youth
to him in his folly, “’Tis well, O Man, I will certainly come back to
thee and will not forget thy shop.” So the lover left him and ganged his
gait and presently went up to the home of his friend, whilst the Barber
stayed expecting him and remained standing at the door; and of the
denseness of the tonsorial wits would not budge from that place and
would await the youth that he might shave him. Such was the case with
them; but as regards the Yuzbashi, when he went forth from his house
bent upon seeking his friend who had invited him, he found that a
serious matter of business[347] would hinder his giving the
entertainment, so the host said to the Captain, “Allah upon thee, O my
lord, pardon me for I have this day a matter which will prevent my going
forth to the garden and Inshallah—God willing—on the morrow we will
there meet and enjoy ourselves, we and thou, free and with hearts at
rest; for a man who hath work in hand may not take his pleasure and his
thoughts will remain ever preoccupied.” Hereupon quoth the Captain
“Sooth thou hast said, O Such-and-such, and herein there is naught to
excuse of harm or hindrance, and the day’s engagement between us if it
be not to-morrow will come after to-morrow.” So he farewelled his host
and left him and returned homewards. Now that Yuzbashi was a man of
honour and sagacity and pluck and spunk and by nature a brave. He ceased
not wending until he had reached his home where he found the Barber
standing at the house-door and the fellow came up to him and said,
“Allah, upon thee, O my lord, when thou goest within do thou send me
down a handsome youth who went upstairs into this dwelling.” The
Yuzbashi turned upon him with a face fiery as ruddy sparks and cried to
him, “What, O Man, dost thou say that one hath gone up to my house, O
pimp, O pander?[348] What manner of man can enter therein and I absent?”
Quoth the Barber, “By Allah, O my lord, one _did_ go up whilst I stood
awaiting him the while he passed out of my sight; so when thou art
abovestairs do thou send him down to me, saying:—Thine own Barber
awaiteth thee at the entrance below.” Now when the Yuzbashi heard these
words, he waxed wroth with exceeding wrath and going up into his house
with haste and hurry knocked at the inner door which defended the Harem.
The inmates heard him and knew that it was he, and the Youth fell to
piddling in his bag-trowsers; but the woman took him and hid him in the
shaft of the cistern[349] and going forth opened the door to her
husband. Cried the Yuzbashi, “Of a truth, hath any right or reason to
say that here in this house is a man?”[350] and she replied, “Oh, the
shame of me! How ever, O my lord, can there be here a man?”[351] So the
Yuzbashi went about seeking and searching but he came not upon any; then
he went down to the Barber wight and cried, “O Man, I have found none
upstairs save the womenkind;” but the Barber replied, “By Allah, O my
lord, he went up before my eyes and I am still awaiting him.” Then the
Captain hurried away a second time and rummaged about, high and low, and
left no place whereinto he did not pry and spy, yet he came upon no one.
He was perplext at his affair and again going down to the Barber said to
him, “O Man, we have found none.” Still the fellow said to him doggedly,
“Withal a man _did_ go within, whilst I who am his familiar here stand
expecting him, and thou sayest forsooth he is not there, albeit he be
abovestairs and after he went in he never came out until this tide.”
Hereupon the Captain returned to his Harem a third time and a fourth
time unto the seventh time; but he found no one; so he was dazed and
amazed and the going in and faring out were longsome to him. All this
and the youth concealed in the cistern shaft lay listening to their
dialogue and he said, “Allah ruin this rascal Barber!” but he was sore
afraid and he quaked with fright lest the Yuzbashi slay him and also
slay his wife. Now after the eighth time the Captain came down to the
Barber and said to him, “An thou saw him enter, up along with me and
seek for him.” The man did accordingly, but when the two had examined
every site, they came upon no one; so the Barber was stupefied and said
to himself, “Whoso went up before me and I looking upon him, whither can
he have wended?” Then he fell to pondering and presently said, “By
Allah, verily this is a wondrous matter that we have not discovered
him;” but the Yuzbashi cried fiercely, “By the life of my head and by
Him who created all creatures and numbered the numberings thereof, an I
find not this fellow needs must I do thee die.” The Barber of his
exceeding terror fell to rummaging all the places but it fortuned that
he did not look into the shaft of the cistern; however at last he said,
“There remaineth for us only the cistern-shaft;”——And Shahrazad was
surprised by the dawn of day, and fell silent, and ceased saying her
permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, “How sweet and tasteful
is thy tale, O sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable!” Quoth
she, “And where is this compared with that I would relate to you on the
coming night an the Sovran suffer me to survive?” Now when it was the
next night and that was
The Seven Hundred and Thirty-seventh Night,
Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other
than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching
of this our latter night!” She replied:——With love and good will! It
hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding,
lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and
worthy celebrating, that the Barber wight, after he and the Captain had
finished their search without finding anyone, said, “There remaineth to
us only the cistern-shaft;” so he went and peered therein, but he could
not use his sight overwell. Hereat the Yuzbashi came up behind him and
cuffed him with a mighty cuff upon the neck and laid him prostrate and
insensible at the mouth of the shaft. Now when the woman heard the
Barber saying, “Let us explore the door which openeth upon the
cistern-shaft,” she feared from the Yuzbashi, so coming up to him she
said, “O my lord, how is it that thou art a Captain and that thy worth
and thy length and thy breadth are on such wise; withal thou obeyest the
word of a fellow Jinn-mad[352] and sayest that there is a man in thine
own house. This is indeed a reproach to thee.” So the Yuzbashi of his
stupidity believed her, and approaching the Barber on the edge of the
cistern-shaft cuffed him with a cuff whose excess of violence dazed him
and he fell upon the floor retaining naught of his senses. When the
woman saw this she cried to her husband, “Pinion his elbows at this
moment and suffer me take my due of him by a sound drubbing, and then
let him go.” “This is the right rede,” quoth he and after all was done
she cried to her husband, “Come with us above that we enjoy our
pleasure, and Alhamdolillah that thou didst not go to the place of
invitation for I should have been desolate by thine absence this day.”
So they ascended and sat together, each beside other, and they sported
and were gladdened and rejoiced; and after that the Captain lay down and
was presently drowned in slumber. Seeing this the wife arose and
repaired to the cistern-shaft wherefrom she released her beloved and
finding all his clothes in a filthy state from the excess of what had
befallen him of affright penetrating into his heart by reason of the
Yuzbashi, she doffed his dress and bringing a bundle of clean clothing
garbed him therein; after which his fear was calmed and his heart
comforted and he was set on the right way. Then she led him to a private
stead, wherein they twain, he and she, took their joyance and had their
pleasure and made merry for the space of three hours, till such time as
each had had fullest will of other. After this he went forth from her
and the Veiler veiled him. On such wise were the wife’s doings; but as
regards what befel the Barber-man, he ceased not to remain strown on the
ground and dazed by the stress of the blow and he abode there pinioned
for a while. About mid-afternoon the Yuzbashi’s wife went to her husband
and awaking him from sleep made for him coffee which he drank and felt
cheered; and he knew nothing anent that his spouse had done with her
beloved during the while he slumbered like unto a he-goat. So she said
to him, “Rise up and go we to the man and do thou drub him with the
soundest drubbing and turn him out.” Quoth he, “Yes indeed, by Allah
verily he deserveth this, the pimp! the pander! the procuror!”
Accordingly he went to him and finding him lying upon the ground raised
him and said to him, “Up with thee and let us seek the man whereof thou
spakest.” Hereupon the Barber arose and went down into the cistern-shaft
where he found none and therewith the Captain laid the fellow upon his
back; and, baring his arms to his elbows, seized a Nabbút[353] and beat
him till he made water in his bag-trousers; after which he let him go.
So the Barber arose and he in doleful dumps, and went off from the house
and ceased not wending until he reached his shop about sunset, hardly
believing in his own safety. But (resumed Shahrazad) as regards the
history of the woman who was a fornicatress and an adultress, I have to
relate to thee the following story of
THE GOOD WIFE OF CAIRO AND HER FOUR GALLANTS.[354]
It is said that in Misr lived a woman, a model of beauty and
loveliness and stature and perfect grace, who had a difficulty with a
man which was a Kazi and after this fashion it befel. She was the wife
of an Emir[355] and she was wont to visit the Baths once a month; and
when the appointed term for her going forth had come, she adorned
herself and perfumed herself and beautified herself and hastened,
tripping and stumbling,[356] to the Hammám. Now her path passed by the
Kazi’s court-house where she saw many a man[357] and she stopped to
enjoy the spectacle, upon which the Judge himself glanced at her with
a glance of eyes that bequeathed to him a thousand sighs and he asked
her saying, “O woman, hast thou any want?” “No indeed,” answered she,
“I have none.” Then he inclined to her and drawing near her said, “O
lady mine and O light of these eyne, is union possible between us
twain?” She replied, “’Tis possible” and he enquired of her when it
could be, and she made an appointment with him saying, “Do thou come
to me after supper-time,”——And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of
day and fell silent and ceased to say her permitted say. Then quoth
her sister Dunyazad, “How sweet is thy story, O sister mine, and how
enjoyable and delectable!” Quoth she, “And where is this compared with
that I would relate to you on the coming night an the King suffer me
to survive?” Now when it was the next night and that was
The Seven Hundred and Thirty-ninth Night,