learned since-- except my music, and that I owe to Tedder and
Vincent-- everything I've learned since, I've learned by sheer
cuteness, from novels, the papers, the theatres, and by keeping my
ears open like a cunning little parrot. [_Softly._] Ha, ha! That's
what I am-- a cunning little parrot!
FARNCOMBE.
[_Laughing with her._] Ha, ha!
LILY.
[_Tossing her head._] Ho, I dare say, if I had the opportunity,
I could imitate the fine _ly_dies _you_ mix with, so that in less than
six months you'd hardly know the difference between them and me!
FARNCOMBE.
[_Holding her hands to his breast._] There is no difference already;
there _is_ none.
LILY.
Isn't there! [_Almost nestling up to him._] Ah, you should see me in
one of my vile tempers. [_Wistfully._] Then-- then you wouldn't--!
[_Becoming conscious of her proximity to him, she backs away and
stands rubbing the palms of her hands together in embarrassment._]
Anyhow-- anyhow it isn't my intention to give you a chance of
comparing us.
FARNCOMBE.
[_Under his breath._] Oh-- Miss Parradell----!
LILY.
[_Collecting herself._] No, I-- I'm not going to let you make a fool
of yourself over _me_, if I can help it.
FARNCOMBE.
Fool----!
LILY.
[_Facing him and speaking quietly but firmly._] Recollect, however
shrewd and apt I may be, and however straight I've managed to keep
myself, still-- I'm only a Pandora girl, and should always be
remembered as one by your chums and belongings. Only a Pandora girl.
Nothing can alter that, dear boy; and you mustn't-- you mustn't
handicap yourself by hanging _me_ round your neck.
FARNCOMBE.
[_Heavily._] I-- I shouldn't be the first of my sort to marry a
"Pandora girl," not by half a dozen or more.
LILY.
No, but-- without wishing to flatter you-- I don't quite put you on a
level with Robbie Kinterton, and Glenroy, and Georgie Fawcus, and--
that crew. [_Cheerfully._] And so I mean to take care of you-- to take
care of you for your own sake and for your mammy's and daddy's. [_She
turns from him and fetches his hat and coat and gives them to him. He
receives them from her with a dazed look._] Time's up. [_After a
silence during which neither stirs._] Never mind. You'll survive it.
[_Another pause._] Come along.
[_She passes him, to go to the door on the left. As she does so he
flings his hat and coat on to the settee, and clasps her in his arms._
FARNCOMBE.
Lily-- Lily----!
LILY.
Ah, that's not fair!
FARNCOMBE.
Don't-- don't send me away like this!
LILY.
[_Her hand against his breast._] It isn't fair of you!
FARNCOMBE.
Say you'll take time to consider.
LILY.
I hate you for it!
FARNCOMBE.
Ask Roper's advice-- your mother's----!
LILY.
I've trusted you!
FARNCOMBE.
Ask Miss Birch----!
LILY.
Eddie! Lord Farncombe----! [_He releases her and they confront one
another, she panting, he hanging his head guiltily._] W-w-well, I--
I _have_ been mistaken in you.
FARNCOMBE.
[_In despair._] I-- I---- [_Turning from her and hitting his temples
with his fists._] Forgive me. Forgive me.
LILY.
Ha! I-- I thought you were such a quiet, bashful fellow.
FARNCOMBE.
Forgive me. Forgive me.
[_She wavers and then slowly approaches him._
LILY.
[_Gently._] Don't-- don't fret about it. _I_ forgive you. [_Touching
his arm with her finger-tips._] I'm to blame. [_Drawing a deep
breath._] All those dances----!
[_He seizes her hand and kisses it passionately._
FARNCOMBE.
I may see you again? I may see you again? Lily-- Lily--! Lily----!
LILY.
[_In a whisper, averting her head._] N-no-- we'd better not----
[_There is a low but distinct knocking at the door on the left. She
withdraws her hand and they look at each other, he inquiringly, she
with a calm face. The knocking is repeated._] Mother. [_She goes to
the door and speaks with her mouth close to it._] That you, mother?
[_She listens for a reply and again the knocking is heard._] Who is
it? [_She opens the door. JEYES is outside._] Nicko! [_JEYES comes
into the room. He has rid himself of his wig and beard and is wearing
an overcoat buttoned up to his chin and a cap drawn down to his brows.
His face is white and his jaws are set determinedly._] How-- how have
you got in? [_He produces a bunch of keys and grimly displays a
latch-key._] Oh-- oh----! [_Pulling off his cap, JEYES advances to the
table in the centre, glaring at FARNCOMBE. LILY closes the door
sharply and also advances, speaking volubly to FARNCOMBE as she comes
forward._] Captain Jeyes is in the habit of bringing me home from the
theatre after my work; and a long while ago I gave him a latch-key to
carry on his key-ring, so that he could let me into my house whenever
I'd forgotten my own key. He hasn't the slightest right to use it at
any other time; nobody knows that better than he does. It's a
confounded liberty! [_To JEYES, hotly._] What are you doing here at
all at this hour of the morning?
JEYES.
[_After an expressive glance at FARNCOMBE._] An odd question, in the
circumstances.
LILY.
Answer me!
JEYES.
Keeping an eye on _you_.
LILY.
Spying on me!
JEYES.
On you-- [_jerking his head towards FARNCOMBE_] and----
LILY.
How dare you!
JEYES.
I've been at it all night.
LILY.
All night!
JEYES.
Yes; I was in the theatre while you were supping and dancing.
LILY.
_You_ were!
JEYES.
I _meant_ to be there. You did your best to stop it----
LILY.
That's a lie!
JEYES.
So that you could enjoy yourself thoroughly-- [_glancing at FARNCOMBE
again_] with----
LILY.
A lie!
JEYES.
I didn't leave till past three. You and-- [_with another motion of the
head towards FARNCOMBE_] had just had your fifth dance together, and
they were hauling you round the building.
LILY.
Where _were_ you? Who----?
JEYES.
Excuse me; that's my business. Then I went back to Jermyn Street, and
it suddenly struck me I'd like to see how your escort was composed.
LILY.
You've been watching outside?
JEYES.
Since a quarter-to-four-- under the portico at the corner.
LILY.
[_Contemptuously._] _You_----!
JEYES.
Yes, but, by God, I wasn't quite prepared for _this_!
LILY.
This!
JEYES.
[_Cramming his cap into his overcoat-pocket and coming to FARNCOMBE._]
What the hell's your game? You've got some accommodating friends, both
of you, in that blackguard Roper and that slut Jimmie Birch!
LILY.
Oh--! [_Approaching JEYES with clenched fists._] Ah, you cur----!
FARNCOMBE.
[_Holding up his hand to her appealingly._] Miss Parradell----!
LILY.
[_To JEYES._] You cur! Mother's been told that Lord Farncombe's with
me. I sent Jimmie up to tell her.
JEYES.
Where _is_ your mother?
LILY.
In bed, of course.
JEYES.
Snoring! Ha, ha, ha! Faugh, there's an ugly name, my girl, for such
mothers as yours!
LILY.
Ah--! [_Raising her fist._] Ah-h-h-h----!
FARNCOMBE.
Miss Parradell----!
LILY.
[_Restraining herself with difficulty and pacing the room._] Oh, the
cur! The cur! The cur!
FARNCOMBE.
[_To JEYES, looking at him steadily._] Captain Jeyes----
LILY.
The low cur!
FARNCOMBE.
Captain Jeyes, do you happen to know where I lodge?
JEYES.
No; I don't know where your sty is.
FARNCOMBE.
St. James's Place-- forty-seven. I shall be in at twelve o'clock.
[_Picking up his hat and overcoat._] From the tone this gentleman
adopts, Miss Parradell, I assume that he considers himself entitled to
concern himself in your affairs. [_Moving over to the left where LILY
joins him._] Perhaps it will make it easier for you if I----
LILY.
[_Clutching his arm._] Ah, I'm so indignant, Eddie! I-- I-- I----!
JEYES.
Eddie! _Eddie!_
LILY.
[_Turning upon JEYES in a fury._] Yes, you cad-- Eddie, _Eddie_,
EDDIE! You cad! You sneak! You idler! You waster! I've stood it long
enough. This is the last straw! I've done with you! I'm sick to death
of you! How I've tolerated you all these years is a mystery to me!
After this, get out of my sight and never show yourself to me again!
JEYES.
[_Grasping her wrist, fiercely._] Lily----!
LILY.
[_Wrenching herself free._] _What!_ [_Losing control over herself
utterly._] You'll spy on me, will you, you shabby loafer! You'll peep
at me while I'm eating my supper, and count the dances I choose to
give that boy over there, will you! And then you'll break into my
house, and insult my friends behind their backs, and insinuate foul
things against my poor old mother-- you damned coward!-- and against
me, [_pointing to FARNCOMBE_] and _him_! Why, you're not fit to black
his boots, and you never were-- never-- you-- you-- you scum! Here!
[_Taking FARNCOMBE'S note from her bosom and thrusting it at JEYES._]
Read that! [_Sitting in the arm-chair by the centre table._] Read it!
Read it! Read it! [_JEYES reads to himself._] Out loud!
JEYES.
[_Mumbling._] "Dear Miss Parradell. Will you allow me----?"
LILY.
Louder!
JEYES.
"Will you allow me to remain behind for a few minutes with Miss Jimmie
after the others have gone? I know I am presuming a lot, but I cannot
leave you till I have asked you the most important question a man can
put to a woman. Farncombe."
LILY.
[_Breathless._] Written here-- on my note-paper-- while I was out of
the room! It came on me like a thunder-clap! Ah! Ah! Ah! [_JEYES sits
upon the settee, staring at the carpet._] And Morrie Cooling and Lal
will tell you that I hadn't a notion that Lord Farncombe was to be at
the supper last night, or any of the boys; not a notion.
I blackguarded 'em both for deceiving me, and causing me to deceive
_you_. [_Taking the scent-atomizer from the table and spraying her
face with it._] Now! What have you to say now! Ah! Ah! Ah!
JEYES.
[_Huskily._] Why-- why the devil did you let Jimmie go? Why did you
let her go? It was knowing that you and Farncombe were alone that--
that made me----
LILY.
Oh, if I'd suspected that a private detective was hovering around, I'd
have kept the whole lot of my friends! As it was, Jimmie was looking
dead, and--! [_in disdain._] Pah!
[_There is a pause and then JEYES sits upright and draws his hand
wearily across his eyes._
JEYES.
[_To LILY._] Well, I-- I beg your pardon. [_LILY continues to spray
herself energetically._] I'm not so completely _scum_ as not to see
that I ought to beg your pardon. [_Humbly._] I beg your pardon.
LILY.
[_Softening by degrees._] You-- you drive me mad sometimes--
positively frantic!
JEYES.
[_Partly to himself._] Mad! [_To FARNCOMBE._] And you, Farncombe--
I hope you'll accept my apologies. I offer them unreservedly.
[_FARNCOMBE bows, somewhat stiffly._
LILY.
[_To JEYES, protruding her lower lip._] I-- I didn't mean half I said,
Nicko; I didn't mean half of it. [_Eyeing FARNCOMBE askance as she
replaces the atomizer._] And I-- I'm ashamed of myself for losing my
self-control as I did. [_There is another pause and then JEYES gets to
his feet and silently returns the note to LILY. She looks up at him
piteously and puts the note back into her bosom. Then he takes out his
key-ring, removes the latch key from it, and throws the key on to the
table. Having done this, he drags his cap from his pocket and makes
for the door on the left. As he passes LILY, she rises and gently
plucks at his sleeve._] Nicko-- Nicko----
JEYES.
[_In a thick voice._] Eh?
LILY.
Won't you-- won't you give Lord Farncombe-- some explanation----?
JEYES.
Explanation----?
LILY.
Of the sort of terms we've been on, you and I, He-- he must be--
rather puzzled-- [_turning away to the table._] Oh, it's due to you as
well as to me!
JEYES.
[_Dully._] Just as you please. [_With a hard laugh._] Ho, ho! Yes,
perhaps it _is_ due to me that he should learn a little more about me
than he's been able to gather from personal observation-- and from
your eloquent but summary description. [_Under his breath, screwing up
his cap._] Idler-- waster-- loafer----!
LILY.
[_Penitently._] Nicko!
JEYES.
[_To FARNCOMBE, quietly._] Oh, it's a true bill, Farncombe. And yet,
a very few years back-- _she_ won't dispute it-- I was one of the
smartest chaps going, good at my job, with prospects as rosy as any
man's in my regiment. There wasn't a cloud the size of your hand,
apparently, in my particular bit of sky at the time I speak of; not a
speck! Then I met this young lady, and-- [_pointing to the
box-ottoman_] well, since we're in for it----!
FARNCOMBE.
Oh, Captain Jeyes----
JEYES.
No, no; she wishes you to understand the exact nature of the
friendship between her and me. I'm obeying instructions. [_FARNCOMBE
sits on the ottoman, nursing his hat and overcoat. Then JEYES sits in
the arm-chair by the centre table, first turning the chair so that it
faces FARNCOMBE._] Farncombe, I was under thirty, and still a
subaltern, when I made Miss Parradell's acquaintance. Like most of my
pals, I was spending my nights, whenever I could get away from
Aldershot, in the stalls at the Pandora-- much the same as _you've_
been doing recently, and as a certain class of young man'll go on
doing as long as the Pandora, and similar shops, continue to flourish.
Ha! How honoured we felt, we men, in those days, at knowing some of
the Pandora girls, and having the privilege of supping 'em and
standing 'em dinner on Sunday evenings! If they'd been royal
princesses we couldn't have been more elated. [_With a gesture._]
Don't jump at conclusions. It generally ended there, or with our
running into debt at a jeweller's. _We_ were young, _they_ were
beautiful-- or we thought 'em so; but the majority of us weren't
vicious, any more than the majority of the girls were-- though many of
'em were mighty calculating. It would have been better for us men if
all the girls _had_ been wicked; the glamour, the infatuation, the
folly, would have been sooner over, and one of us at least would have
had a different tale to tell.
[_JEYES pauses, gazing at the floor, FARNCOMBE moves impatiently on
the ottoman and LILY seats herself upon the settee._
LILY.
[_Plaintively._] Nicko-- Nicko-- I merely wanted you to----
JEYES.
[_Rousing himself and speaking to LILY over his shoulder._] Who was it
introduced us?
LILY.
Miss Du Cane-- Aggie Du Cane.
JEYES.
Agnes Du Cane. _She's_ gone under. [_To LILY._] Outside Buckley's
oyster-bar, wasn't it?
LILY.
Not outside; in the parlour.
JEYES.
[_To FARNCOMBE._] Lily had only lately come to the Pandora--
a pale-faced slip of a thing. [_To LILY._] Eighteen, weren't you?
LILY.
[_Nodding._] Eighteen.
JEYES.
I confess I wasn't overwhelmingly attracted by her at first; she was
so unlike the rest. [_Laughing bitterly._] Ha, ha, ha!
LILY.
[_Weakly._] Ha, ha, ha! Wasn't I dowdy!
JEYES.
But she was humble, and naïve, and confiding; and my vanity was
tickled by her delight at the little treats I gave her, and by her
gratitude for a tuppeny-ha'penny present or two. Nobody, I believe,
with any pretensions to being a gentleman, had paid her much attention
before I arrived on the scene.
LILY.
[_In a murmur._] No; nobody.
JEYES.
I didn't find out that I was in love with her-- you guess it's a love
story, don't you?----
FARNCOMBE.
[_Delicately._] My dear Captain Jeyes----
JEYES.
I didn't find out that I was neck and heels in love with her until
nearly a year afterwards, when my regiment went to the Curragh. _That_
did it-- separation! What I suffered in that hole, thinking of her,
starving for her! In less than three months I was in London again, on
leave, and in my old stall at the Pandora. But even then, Farncombe, I
hadn't your pluck.
FARNCOMBE.
Pluck?
JEYES.
The pluck to snap my fingers at the world and propose marriage to a
Pandora girl. Besides, my mother was alive then, and-- [_abruptly,
with a wild look_] would you like to know what _she_ used to call
these Pandora women, Farncombe? [_Bending forward, his hands tightly
clenched._] She used to call them _a menace to society_. With their
beauty, and their flagrant opportunities for displaying it, they are a
living curse, she used to say-- a source of constant dread to mothers
whose hope it is to see their sons safely mated to modest, maidenly
girls of the typical English pattern. She told us once-- my brothers
and me-- frightened as to where _we_ were drifting, that she was one
of many mothers who prayed on their knees daily that their boys might
be spared from being drawn into the net woven by their own weaknesses
and passions-- drawn into it by these-- these----! [_He breaks off,
stares about him for a moment, and then rises._] Oh, but I oughtn't to
have repeated this to _you_. Pardon. [_Walking away unsteadily._] Ho,
damned bad taste! [_Behind the table, supporting himself by leaning
upon it._] Where was I? Back from the Curragh! [_Confused._] Yes--
yes-- and so things went on for a couple o' years-- I trailing after
Lily closer than ever-- and at last-- at last I _did_ ask her to be my
wife.
LILY.
[_Who has been listening to JEYES with parted lips and wide-open
eyes-- appealingly._] Don't! Don't, Nicko; don't!
JEYES.
[_Oblivious of her interruption._] But I'd left it too late. The
novelty of me had worn off; she'd scores of friends by that time;
she'd made her big hit, and followed it with another, and was the talk
o' the town. And she'd money; she wasn't dependent on _me_ any longer
for her gloves and her trips and outings!
LILY.
[_Her head drooping._] Oh! Oh! [_Wringing her hands._] Oh, that's
_beastly_ of you; _beastly_!
JEYES.
She was kind to me too, in a way-- kind and cruel. She didn't want to
marry me; she didn't want to marry anybody; she was in love with
herself, and her success, and what it was bringing her. But she
wouldn't give me the kick. No, she wouldn't do that; I _had_ been
something to her. And there's where the kindness came in-- and the
merciless cruelty. [_Sitting upon the fauteuil-stool rigidly._] God,
if only she'd broken with me then, firmly and finally-- if only she'd
broken with me then-- she-- she might have saved me!
LILY.
[_Struggling with her tears._] Oh, Nicko, Nicko!
JEYES.
Twelve months ago she did throw me a bone. The regiment was under
orders for India, and of course I sent in my papers; and out of pity,
I suppose-- and because I was always pestering her-- she promised to
become engaged to me if I'd get other work to do. Work! I wonder
whether really she was grinning to herself when she made the
stipulation!
LILY.
Oh-- oh----!
JEYES.
Work! All the spunk, all the energy, had been sapped out of me long
before, and even her promise couldn't revive it. My search for a berth
wasn't much more than a sham. At the back of my head I knew very well
what I'd come to. The only work _I_ was capable of was dancing
attendance on _her_, and filling in what remained of the day and night
at a rotten restaurant, a Bohemian club, and the bar of the theatre.
And that's _been_ my sole employment for the past year-- nothing but
that. Pretty, for a man who started life as swimmingly as I did! [_His
voice dying away._] Pretty-- pretty-- pretty-- pretty----!
LILY.
[_After a profound stillness._] I-- I don't think you've ever-- put
the case to me-- quite so plainly as this, Nicko.
JEYES.
I-- I don't think I've ever put it quite so plainly-- to myself.
LILY.
[_Her lip trembling._] You-- you won't believe me----
JEYES.
What?
LILY.
I-- I've never fully realised it till now-- the harm I've done you.
I declare to God I've never realised it till now. [_Faintly._]
Nicko----!
JEYES.
[_After a further pause._] Ah, well--! [_With a deep sigh._] Ah, well!
[_To FARNCOMBE, resignedly._] Farncombe, I-- I'm afraid I'm a shocking
brute. I-- I got carried away. Forget-- forget the things I've said of
this girl. Forget 'em, will yer? [_Starting to his feet._] And look
here! A man who isn't a sportsman deserves to be shot. You've won her;
I've lost her. Congratulate yer, old chap; congratulate yer! [_Pulling
on his cap._] Take care of her, that's all; m-m-mind you take care of
her!
[_He turns towards the door and she jumps up and runs to him and
seizes his arm. FARNCOMBE also rises._
LILY.
No, no, Nicko! Nicko--! [_Giving FARNCOMBE a half frightened, half
imploring look._] Nicko, I can't undo the mischief I've done; I can't
do that. But I can try to make it up to you-- some of it-- and I will,
if you'll let me. [_Putting her arms round his shoulders._] Nicko----!
JEYES.
[_Roughly._] Make it-- up to me?
LILY.
[_Her face close to his._] You know what I mean! As soon as possible--
next month, if you like-- next week-- quietly--! [_He grips her arms
and stares at her blankly._] Ha, ha! Yes, you've been in too great a
hurry to settle matters, _you_ have. Lord Farncombe and I-- we--
_we're_ not going to be married. I've refused him. [_Wildly._] I--
I've ruined _you_, Nicko; but I-- I've told him-- I'm not going to
draw _him_ into my net! [_Clinging to JEYES and burying her face in
the breast of his coat, crying._] Oh! Oh! Oh! I'm not going to draw
_him_ into my net!
[_Again there is a pause and then JEYES turns to FARNCOMBE, dazed._
JEYES.
Farncombe----?
FARNCOMBE.
[_Inclining his head._] Yes-- yes----
JEYES.
[_With feeling._] My dear fellow, I-- I----!
LILY.
[_Raising her head and speaking through her tears-- to JEYES._] Nicko,
I-- I want to have one more word with Lord Farncombe-- just one more
word. [_He nods understandingly and goes to the door on the left. She
follows him._] Only a minute; [_he opens the door_] and then you must
walk away together, you and he, and part good friends. [_He goes out
on to the landing and she closes the door and stands with her back to
it, drying her eyes with her handkerchief. FARNCOMBE, still carrying
his hat and overcoat, has crossed to the settee, a forlorn figure._]
W-w-well, you-- you _have_ had a lucky escape, haven't you?
FARNCOMBE.
[_Heavily._] Escape?
LILY.
[_Leaving the door and advancing._] You-- you've heard what a
cold-blooded, selfish wretch I am-- how I've treated Nicko!
FARNCOMBE.
[_Waving the idea away._] Oh----!
LILY.
[_Coming to him._] And you've seen what I'm like when I'm in a rage;
you've seen what the genuine Lily Margaret Upjohn is, without her
disguise. [_Looking up into his face pathetically._] Yes, that was
_me_, Eddie, under the crust. Common as dirt, dear; common as dirt!
[_Holding the lapels of his coat._] Oh! Oh, you'll always remember me,
with my eyes starting out of my head, spitting at Nicko! You'll always
picture that horrible sight when you think of me.
FARNCOMBE.
You-- you were provoked; I-- I admired you for it.
LILY.
[_Tenderly._] Ah, you dear boy! [_In an altered tone._] Eddie----
FARNCOMBE.
Yes?
LILY.
Had you-- a little hope-- that, after all, I might turn your offer
over in my mind and-- and eventually----?
FARNCOMBE.
Yes-- yes.
LILY.
[_With a catch in her breath._] Ah----! [_In a whisper._] I-- I'll
tell you something.
FARNCOMBE.
What?
LILY.
[_In his ear._] I _might_ have, if-- if you'd persisted.
FARNCOMBE.
[_Groaning._] Oh-h-h-h!
LILY.