(AIR--"_Are you coming to the dancing?_")
Oh! there's only one girl in the world for whom I care a dime,
And I mean to be her partner--if you'll only give me time.
It is nice to see her smiling and a-calling from way over,
"Are you coming to the dancing, Mister GROVER, GROVER, GROVER?"
_Chorus_--Are you coming, are you coming,
Are you coming to the dancing, Mr. GROVER, GROVER, GROVER?
And I say, I guess I'm coming, Miss Free Trade, dear--as your lover!
"Come, GROVER, come!" my love will say; "just one turn in the dance,
And _we_'ll show all competitors they have but little chance.
That's why I love you GROVER, 'cause you're limber in your feet
And defy the other fellows, to compete, pete, pete!"
_Chorus_--Are you coming, &c.
Miss Protection, my old partner's a bit _passée, entre nous_,
Yet I mustn't all forsake her; she's exacting and a shrew;
And to leave her quite a "Wallflower," and entirely in the shade,
Would mean ructions; yet I _must_ try just one turn with dear Free Trade!
_Chorus_--Are you coming, &c.
So I'll kiss her little finger, and invite her to the waltz;
Though the other turns her nose up (temper's one of her worst faults).
But I say, "I cannot help it, dear; you're danced quite off your feet,
And a rest will do you good, dear, I repeat, peat, peat!"
_Chorus_--Are you coming, &c.
"The ball-room should be open to a dancer's enterprise.
I _must_ try a change of partners; your high-tariff step so tries.
It's so stiff, and so exhausting, and a little Freedom's sweet;
Whilst _I_ take one turn with Free Trade. _You_ can take a seat, seat, seat!"
_Chorus_--Are you coming, &c.
"Oh! she's been and asked her mother, and her mother's said she might.
So sit down and don't show tantrums, for they make you look a fright."
_May_ I ask you for just one turn, Free Trade, before this dance is over?
And she answers "With much pleasure, Mister GROVER, GROVER, GROVER!"
_Chorus_--Are you coming, are you coming,
Are you coming for one turn, my dear, before this dance is over?
And she smiles--and I'm her partner--and hope soon to be her lover!
* * * * *
"VARIETY! VA-RI-E-TY!"
"The Kilanyi Troupe" at the Palace Theatre of Varieties, with their
strikingly realistic _Tableaux Vivants_, might well change their name
_pro tem._ to "The Kill-any-other Troupe" that might be venturing in
the same line. Of course, they are a great attraction, and would be
still greater, were the Show varied from night to night, altogether
omitting No. 6 in the present programme, and, in view of the
popularity of "A tale of the tide," the humour of which is perceptible
to everyone on account of the waggery in the tail, by substituting two
or three comic for the simply classic _poses_. Mr. CHARLES MORTON,
trading on his acquired store of operatic knowledge, might give us a
statuette of _Les Deux Gendarmes_, who could just vary their attitudes
according to the movement of OFFENBACH'S celebrated duett. After a
short interval of patriotic song about NELSON and "doing duty" there
is a capital French clown, or clown of some nationality, whose fun is
genuine, and whose imitations, animal and orchestral, are excellent
and really amusing. This is a case in which, if a real bassoon or a
real hen intruded itself, either would be hissed, and the false
honestly preferred to the real. Altogether, except that the ballet
which plays the people out, and does play them out effectually, is
old-fashioned, it is an excellent evening's entertainment. The County
Council ought to come in their thousands, and, like the little dog who
was so pleased to see the cow jumping over the moon, they would "laugh
to see such sport."
* * * * *