How Apuleius was prevented of his purpose, and how the Theeves came to
their den.
Not long after, the theeves laded us againe, but especially me, and
brought us forth of the stable, and when wee had gone a good part of
our journey what with the long way, my great burthen, the beating of
staves, and my worne hooves, I was so weary that I could scantly go.
Then I saw a little before mee a river running with fair water, and I
said to myself, Behold, now I have found a good occasion: for I will
fall down when I come yonder, and surely I will not rise againe,
neither with scourging nor with beating, for I had rather be slaine
there presently, than goe any further.
And the cause why I had determined so to doe was this, I thought that
the theeves when they did see me so feeble and weake that I could not
travell, to the intent they would not stay in their journey, they would
take the burthen from my backe and put it on my fellowes, and so for my
further punishment to leave me as a prey to the wolves and ravening
beasts. But evill fortune prevented so good a consideration; for the
other Asse being of the same purpose that I was of, by feigned and
coloured wearinesse fell downe first, with all his burthen on the
ground as though hee were dead, and he would not rise neither with
beating nor with pricking, nor stand upon his legs, though they pulled
him by the tail, by his legs, and by his eares: which when the theeves
beheld, as without all hope they said one unto another, What should we
stand here so long about a dead or rather a stony asse? let us bee
gone: and so they tooke his burthen, and divided some to mee, and some
to my horse. And then they drew out their swords and cut off his legs,
and threw his body from the point of a hill down into a great valley.
Then I considering with my selfe of the evill fortune of my poore
companion, and purposed now to forget all subtility and deceit, and to
play the good Asse to get my masters favour, for I perceived by their
talke that we were come home well nigh at our journeys end. And after
that wee had passed over a little hill, we came to our appointed place,
and when we were unladen of our burthens, and all things carried in, I
tumbled and wallowed in the dust, to refresh my selfe in stead of
water. The thing and the time compelleth me to make description of the
places, and especially of the den where the theeves did inhabit, I will
prove my wit in what I can doe, and the consider you whether I was an
Asse in judgement and sence, or no. For first there was an exceeding
great hill compassed about with big trees very high, with many turning
bottoms full of sharp stones, whereby it was inaccessible. There was
many winding and hollow vallies, environed with thickets and thornes,
and naturally fortressed round about. From the top of the hill ranne a
running water as cleare as silver, that watered all the valleyes below,
that it seemed like unto a sea inclosed, or a standing floud. Before
the denne where was no hill stood an high tower, and at the foot
thereof were sheep-coats fenced and walled with clay. Before the gate
of the house were pathes made in stead of wals, in such sort that you
could easily judge it to be a very den for theeves, and there was
nothing else except a little coat covered with thatch, wherein the
theeves did nightly accustome to watch by order, as I after perceived.
And when they were all crept into the house, and we were all tied fast
with halters at the dore, they began to chide with an old woman there,
crooked with age, who had the government and rule of all the house, and
said, How is it old witch, old trot, and strumpet, that thou sittest
idley all day at home, and having no regard to our perillous labours,
hast provided nothing for our suppers, but sittest eating and swilling
thyself from morning till night? Then the old woman trembled, and
scantly able to speak gan say, Behold my puissant and faithfull
masters, you shall have meat and pottage enough by and by: here is
first store of bread, wine plenty, filled in cleane rinsed pots,
likewise here is hot water prepared to bathe you.
Which when she had said, they put off all their garments and refreshed
themselves by the fire. And after they were washed and noynted with
oyle, they sate downe at the table garnished with all kind of dainty
meats. They were no sooner sate downe, but in came another company of
yong men more in number than was before, who seemed likewise to bee
Theeves, for they brought in their preyes of gold and silver, Plate,
jewels, and rich robes, and when they had likewise washed, they sate
among the rest, and served one another by order. Then they drank and
eat exceedingly, laughing, crying and making much noyse, that I thought
that I was among the tyrannous and wilde Lapithes, Thebans, and
Centaures. At length one of them more valiant than the rest, spake in
this sort, We verily have manfully conquered the house of Milo of
Hippata, and beside all the riches and treasure which by force we have
brought away, we are all come home safe, and are increased the more by
this horse and this Asse. But you that have roved about in the country
of Boetia, have lost your valiante captaine Lamathus, whose life I more
regarded than all the treasure which you have brought: and therfore the
memory of him shall bee renowned for ever amongst the most noble kings
and valiant captains: but you accustome when you goe abroad, like men
with ganders hearts to creepe through every corner and hole for every
trifle. Then one of them that came last answered, Why are you only
ignorant, that the greater the number is, the sooner they may rob and
spoyle the house? And although the family be dispersed in divers
lodgings, yet every man had rather to defend his own life, than to save
the riches of his master: but when there be but a few theeves, then
will they not only rather regard themselves, but also their substance,
how little or great soever it be. And to the intent you may beleeve me
I will shew you an example: wee were come nothing nigh to Thebes, where
is the fountain of our art and science, but we learned where a rich
Chuffe called Chriseros did dwell, who for fear of offices in the
publique wel dissembled his estate, and lived sole and solitary in a
small coat, howbeit replenished with aboundance of treasure, and went
daily in ragged and torn apparel. Wherefore wee devised with our selves
to go to his house and spoyl him of all his riches. And when night came
we drew towards the dore, which was so strongly closed, that we could
neither move it, nor lift it out of the hooks, and we thought it best
not to break it open lest by the noyse we should raise up to our harm
the neighbours by. Then our strong and valiant captaine Lamathus
trusting in his own strength and force, thrust in his hand through a
hole in the dore, and thought to pull back the bolt: but the covetous
caitif Chriseros being awake, and making no noise came softly to the
dore and caught his hand and with a great naile nailed it fast to the
post: which when he had done, he ran up to the high chamber and called
every one of his neighbours by name, desiring them to succour him with
all possible speed, for his own house was on fire. Then every one for
fear of his owne danger came running out to aid him, wherewith we
fearing our present peril, knew not what was best to be don, whether
wee should leave our companion there, or yeeld ourselves to die with
him: but we by his consent devised a better way, for we cut off his arm
by the elbow and so let it hang there: then wee bound his wound with
clouts, lest we should be traced by the drops of blood: which don we
took Lamathus and led him away, for fear we would be taken: but being
so nigh pursued that we were in present danger, and that Lamathus could
not keepe our company by reason of faintnesse; and on the other side
perceiving that it was not for his profit to linger behinde, he spake
unto us as a man of singular courage and vertue, desiring us by much
entreaty and prayer and by the puissance of the god Mars, and the faith
of our confederacy, to deliver his body from torment and miserable
captivity: and further he said, How is it possible that so courageous a
Captaine can live without his hand, wherewith he could somtime rob and
slay so many people? I would thinke myself sufficiently happy if I
could be slaine by one of you. But when he saw that we all refused to
commit any such fact, he drew out his sword with his other hand, and
after that he had often kissed it, he drove it clean through his body.
Then we honoured the corps of so puissant a man, and wrapped it in
linnen cloathes and threw it into the sea. So lieth our master
Lamathus, buried and did in the grave of water, and ended his life as I
have declared. But Alcinus, though he were a man of great enterprise,
yet could he not beware by Lamathus, nor voide himselfe from evill
fortune, for on a day when he had entred into an old womans house to
rob her, he went up into a high chamber, where hee should first have
strangled her: but he had more regard to throw down the bags of mony
and gold out at a window, to us that stood under; and when he was so
greedy that he would leave nothing behinde, he went into the old womans
bed where she lay asleep, and would have taken off the coverlet to have
thrown downe likewise, but shee awaked, and kneeling on her knees,
desired him in this manner: O sir I pray you cast not away such torn
and ragged clouts into my neighbours houses, for they are rich enough,
and need no such things. Then Alcinus thinking her words to be true,
was brought in beleefe, that such things as he had throwne out already,
and such things as hee should throw out after, was not fallen downe to
his fellowes, but to other mens houses, wherefore hee went to the
window to see, and as hee thought to behold the places round about,
thrusting his body out of the window, the old woman marked him wel, and
came behind him softly, and though shee had but small strength, yet
with sudden force she tooke him by the heeles and thrust him out
headlong, and so he fell upon a marvellous great stone and burst his
ribs, wherby he vomited and spewed great flakes of blood, and presently
died. Then wee threw him to the river likewise, as we had done Lamathus
before.
When we had thus lost two of our companions, we liked not Thebes, but
marched towards the next city called Platea, where we found a man of
great fame called Demochares, that purposed to set forth a great game,
where should be a triall of all kind of weapons: hee was come of a good
house, marvellous rich, liberall, and wel deserved that which he had
and had prepared many showes and pleasures for the Common people,
insomuch that there is no man can either by wit or eloquence shew in
words his worthy preparations: for first he had provided all sorts of
armes, hee greatly delighted in hunting and chasing, he ordained great
towers and Tables to move hither and thither: hee made many places to
chase and encounter in: he had ready a great number of men and wilde
beasts, and many condemned persons were brought from the Judgement
place, to try and fight with those beasts. But amongst so great
preparations of noble price, he bestowed the most part of his patrimony
in buying of Beares, which he nourished to his great cost, and esteemed
more than all the other beasts, which either by chasing hee caught
himself, or which he dearely bought, or which were given him from
divers of his friends.
Howbeit for all his sumptuous cost, hee could not be free from the
malitious eyes of envy, for some of them were well nigh dead with too
long tying up, some meagre with the broyling heat of the sunne, some
languished with lying, but all having sundry diseases, were so
afflicted that they died one after another, and there was well nigh
none left, in such sort that you might see them lying in the streets
pittiously dead. And the common people having no other meat to feed on,
little regarding any curiosity, would come forth and fill their bellies
with the flesh of the beares. Then by and by Babulus and I devised a
pretty sport, wee drew one of the greatest of the Beares to our
lodging, as though wee would prepare to eat thereof, where wee flayed
of his skinne, and kept his ungles whole, but we medled not with the
head, but cut it off by the necke, and so let it hang to the skinne.
Then we rased off the flesh from the necke, and cast dust thereon, and
set it in the sun to dry.