How Apuleius thinking to eat Roses, was cruelly beaten by a Gardener,
and chased by dogs.
When noone was come, that the broyling heate of the sunne had most
power, we turned into a village to certaine of the theeves acquaintance
and friends, for verily their meeting and embracing together did give
me, poore asse, cause to deeme the same, and they tooke the trusse from
my backe, and gave them part of the Treasure which was in it, and they
seemed to whisper and tell them that it was stollen goods, and after
that we were unladen of our burthens, they let us loose in a medow to
pasture, but myne own horse and Miloes Asse would not suffer me to feed
there with them, but I must seeke my dinner in some other place.
Wherefore I leaped into a garden which was behinde the stable, and
being well nigh perished with hunger, although I could find nothing
there but raw and green fallets, yet I filled my hungry guts
therwithall abundantly, and praying unto all the gods, I looked about
in every place if I could espy any red roses in the gardens by, and my
solitary being alone did put me in good hope, that if I could find any
remedy, I should presently of an Asse be changed into Lucius out of
every mans sight. And while I considered these things, I loked about,
and behold I saw a farre off a shadowed valley adjoyning nigh unto a
wood, where amongst divers other hearbes and pleasant verdures, me
thought I saw bright flourishing Roses of bright damaske colour; and
said within my bestaill minde, Verily that place is the place of Venus
and the Graces, where secretly glistereth the royall hew, of so lively
and delectable a floure. Then I desiring the help of the guide of my
good fortune, ranne lustily towards the wood, insomuch that I felt
myself that I was no more an Asse, but a swift coursing horse: but my
agility and quicknes could not prevent the cruelty of my fortune, for
when I came to the place I perceived that they were no roses, neither
tender nor pleasant, neither moystened with the heavenly drops of dew,
nor celestial liquor, which grew out of the thicket and thornes there.
Neither did I perceive that there was any valley at all, but onely the
bank of the river, environed with great thick trees, which had long
branches like unto lawrell, and bearing a flour without any manner of
sent, and the common people call them by the name of Lawrel roses,
which be very poyson to all manner of beasts. Then was I so intangled
with unhappy fortune that I little esteemed mine own danger, and went
willingly to eat of these roses, though I knew them to be present
poyson: and as I drew neere I saw a yong man that seemed to be the
gardener, come upon mee, and when he perceived that I had devoured all
his hearbes in the garden, he came swearing with a great staffe in his
hand, and laid upon me in such sort, that I was well nigh dead, but I
speedily devised some remedy my self, for I lift up my legs and kicked
him with my hinder heels, that I left him lying at the hill foot wel
nigh slain, and so I ran away. Incontinently came out his wife, who
seeing her husband halfe dead, cried and howled in pittifull sort, and
went toward her husband, to the intent that by her lowd cries shee
might purchase to me present destruction. Then all the persons of the
town, moved by her noise came forth, and cried for dogs to teare me
down. Out came a great company of Bandogs and mastifes, more fit to pul
down bears and lions than me, whom when I beheld I thought verily I
should presently die: but I turned myself about, and ranne as fast as
ever I might to the stable from whence I came. Then the men of the
towne called in their dogs, and took me and bound mee to the staple of
a post, and scourged me with a great knotted whip till I was well nigh
dead, and they would undoubtedly have slaine me, had it not come to
passe, that what with the paine of their beating, and the greene
hearbes that lay in my guts, I caught such a laske that I all
besprinkled their faces with my liquid dung, and enforced them to leave
off.