FACE TO FACE WITH HERSELF
Although Mary Raymond had deliberately snapped the chain that bound her
to Mignon La Salle, she now found herself confronted by a far more
difficult task. How was she to return little Charlie to Gray Gables
without meeting Constance Stevens or another member of her family? It
was not yet nine o'clock. It was, therefore, barely possible that
Charlie had not been missed. Perhaps Constance and her aunt were not at
home. It stood to reason that if they had been, Charlie would never have
succeeded in slipping away and following John Roland to his evening's
assignment.
Once outside the La Salle's gate, Mary paused uncertainly. Charlie
tugged impatiently at her hand. "Come on, Mary. Take Charlie home," he
demanded.
Apparently unmindful of the child's presence, Mary stood still, staring
thoughtfully up and down the moonlit street. It was an unusually mild
night for that time of year, and the ground was bare of snow. March was
in a deceptive, springlike mood, smiling and sunny by day, with the
merest touch of snappiness by night. Nevertheless, it was scarcely an
occasion for a walk in thin kid slippers and silk stockings, and Mary
shivered slightly as she stood there trying to decide what was to be
done.
"Listen to Mary, Charlie boy," she began suddenly, bending down and
looking seriously into the child's bright, black eyes. "Where were
Connie and Auntie when you ran away?"
"_They_ runned away from Charlie," was the prompt reply, given with an
aggrieved pout. "Charlie wanted to go, too, and Connie said 'no.' They
wented to the the'ter where the band plays all the time."
"And where was nurse?"
"She wented away, too, but Connie didn't know it. She thought Charlie
didn't know, either. But she told Bessie, and Charlie heard."
"So, that is the reason," murmured Mary. Then she said to Charlie, "If
Mary takes you home will you promise her something?"
"Yes," nodded Charlie.
"Then promise Mary that you won't tell anyone you ran away, or that Mary
brought you home."
"Aren't you going to tell Connie that Charlie was a naughty boy?" came
the anxious question.
"No, not unless someone sees Charlie when he goes home and asks about
it."
"Then Charlie won't tell, either," was the calm response. The boy was
proving himself anything but a simpleton.
"All right. Now we must hurry." Mary took firm hold of the tiny hand and
the two started for Gray Gables as fast as the boy's small feet would
permit of walking. It was not far from the La Salle's home to Gray
Gables. Mary was thankful for that. Not in the least oppressed with a
sense of his own shortcomings, Charlie kept up an animated conversation
during the short walk. He even proposed stopping in the middle of the
street to demonstrate for her special edification his prowess as a
fiddler. Mary vetoed this proposal, however. She was bent on reaching
Gray Gables as soon as possible.
Just inside the grounds she halted and viewed the house with speculative
eyes. Lights gleamed from the hall, the living room, and from one
upstairs window. Then, with Charlie's hand still in hers, she walked
boldly up the driveway and mounted the steps. Within the shielding
shadow of the veranda she paused for a long moment and listened. Turning
to the child she laid her finger on her lips with a gesture of silence.
Charlie beamed understandingly. Mary's strange behavior was as
interesting to him as though it were a new game invented for his
pleasure. He entered completely into the spirit of it.
"Now," whispered the girl, "Mary is going to ring the bell and run away.
Charlie must stand still and wait until someone opens the door. If no
one comes, Charlie must ring the bell again. And remember, he mustn't
tell who brought him home!"
"Charlie won't tell," gravely assured the youngster.
Mary pressed a firm finger on the bell and held it there for a second.
Then she darted down the steps, around a corner of the house and across
a wide stretch of frozen lawn. She remembered that she could climb the
low fence at the back of the grounds, cut across a field which lay below
them and emerge on a small street not far from the Deans' home. She did
not pause for breath until she reached the street she had in mind.
Flushed and panting from her wild flight it was several minutes before
she could compose herself sufficiently to go on toward home. Luckily for
her she met but two persons, a boy of perhaps fifteen and a laboring
man. Neither gave her more than the merest glance.
But her last ordeal was yet to come. What would Marjorie and her mother
think when they saw her? They would immediately guess that something
unusual must have happened to bring her home from the party before it
had hardly more than begun. Her recent experience had left her in no
mood for explanations. She decided to try slipping quietly in at the
rear door of the house. There was, of course, a possibility that it
might be locked, but if it were not--so much the better for her.
There was an instant of breathless suspense as she noiselessly turned
the knob. It yielded to her touch, and she stole into the kitchen and up
the back stairs like an unsubstantial shadow of the night, rather than a
very tired and sore-hearted girl. Once in her room she sat down on her
bed to think things over. She dared not move about for fear of being
heard by Marjorie or her mother. Long she sat, moodily reviewing the
year that had promised so much, yet had yielded her nothing but
dissension and sorrow. One bare, ugly fact confronted her, looming up
like a hideous monster whose dreadful claws had shredded her peace of
mind and now waved at her the tattered fragments. It had all been her
fault. For the first time she saw herself as she really was. A jealous,
suspicious, hateful girl. It was she, not Marjorie, who had been
unfaithful to friendship. But she had gone on blindly, unreasoningly,
preferring to think the worst, until now it was too late to bridge the
gap that she had daily widened between herself and her chum by her
absurd jealousy. She could never regain her lost ground. She felt that
Marjorie's patience with her had long since been exhausted. She dared
not, could not, plead for reinstatement. All that remained to be done
was to go through the rest of that dreadful year alone. When she and
Marjorie had finished their sophomore course she would go quietly away,
and they would, perhaps, never meet again.
Alone with her bitter remorse, Mary wept until she could cry no more.
As is usually the case with youth, she was sweeping in her
self-condemnation. But that bitter hour of self-revelation did more to
arouse within her the determination to conquer herself and establish the
foundation for a noble womanhood than she could possibly believe.
At last she pulled herself together to play the final scene in her
evening's drama. Mrs. Dean had given her a latchkey, in order that she
might let herself into the house, should she return from the party after
the Deans had retired. At half-past ten o'clock she heard Marjorie and
her mother come up the stairs to their rooms. Mr. Dean was away from
home on a business trip. When all sounds of conversation between the two
women had ceased and the house had apparently settled down for the
night, Mary crept softly out of her room and down the stairs. Opening
the hall door with stealthy fingers, she stepped into the vestibule. She
listened intently for a sign from above that her soft-footed journey
down the stairs had been discovered. But none came. Turning deliberately
about, she retraced her steps, closing the hall door with sufficient
force to announce her arrival. Without attempt at stealth she walked
across the hall, up the stairs and into the pretty blue room that she
had lately left. The closing of her own door purposely sounded her home
coming.
"Is that you, Mary?" called Marjorie's voice from the next room.
Mary trembled with positive relief at the signal success of her
manoeuver. Steadying her voice, she replied, "Yes, it is I."
"Did you have a nice time?"
Mary read merely polite inquiry in the tone. It lacked Marjorie's former
warmth and affection.
"Not particularly." Impulsively she added, "I missed you, Marjorie. I'm
sorry you weren't there." Breathlessly she waited for a response.
But Marjorie was only human. Resentment against Mignon, rather than
Mary, permeated her reply. "It's nice in you to say so, but I am very
glad I wasn't there. I should consider an invitation to Mignon La
Salle's party as anything but an honor." It was the first deliberately
cutting speech that Marjorie Dean had ever uttered. Realizing its
cruelty she called out contritely, "That was hateful in me, Mary. Please
forget what I said."
"Oh, it doesn't matter. Good night." Mary managed to force the
indifferent answer. She felt that she deserved even this and more. She
was rapidly learning to her sorrow that, when one plants nettles, in
time they are sure to grow up and sting.