[_A fifteen-minutes' speech on affairs by a public man has been added
to the programme of the Empire music-hall._]
There is no truth that the late Viceroy of IRELAND is to
appear at the Alhambra in a brief address, explaining why he chose the
title of "Tara."
All efforts to induce Mr. MASTERMAN to appear at the Holborn
Empire next week in a burlesque of _The Seats of the Mighty_ have
failed.
Great pressure is being brought to bear upon Mr. BERNARD SHAW
to induce him to add gaiety to the Palladium programme next week by a
twenty-minutes' exposure of England's folly, hypocrisy, fatuity and
crime, a subject on which he knows even more than is to be known.
Up to the present moment Mr. H. G. WELLS has refused all
offers to appear at the Palace in the song from _Patience_, "When I
first put this uniform on."
Any statement that Mr. EDMUND GOSSE is to appear at the
Coliseum at every performance next week, in a little sketch entitled
_Swinging the Censor_, is to be taken with salt.
A similar incredulity should probably be adopted in regard to the
alluring rumour that Mr. COMPTON MACKENZIE will also contribute at
the same house a nightly telephonic sketch from Capri, "_What Tiberius
thinks of 'Sinister Street.'_"
Negotiations are still pending, though with little chance of success,
between the management of the Hippodrome and Canon RAWNSLEY,
with a view to his giving a brief address nightly on the subject "How
to write a War sonnet in ten minutes."
We have good reason to fear that, in spite of reiterated announcements
of their engagement, Mr. MAX PEMBERTON and Mr. MAX BEERBOHM will not
appear on Valentine's Day, and subsequently, at the Chiswick Empire
in a topical War duologue as "The Two Max."
* * * * *
Omar Khayyam on the North Sea battle.
They say the _Lion_ and the _Tiger_ sweep
Where once the Huns shelled babies from the deep,
And _Blücher_, that great cruiser--12-inch guns
Roar o'er his head but cannot break his sleep.
* * * * *