THE FESTIVAL.
1. The whole scheme of merchandising in the church is laid bare as
Satan explains the origin of the word “Festival.”
Looking once again through the open door, I saw that Mr. World and
Miss Church-Member, after leaving the Wizard City, had gained admission
to the auditorium where the Ways and Means Committee was in session.
Miss Church-Member at once retired to the waiting-room in the rear,
and sat quietly perusing a book while her companion remained in the
large hall and listened to the proceedings.
An agent of Satan occupied the chair. He was dressed in pleasing
costume, and controlled the assemblage with parliamentary dignity.
When Mr. World took a seat the large committee was engaged in a warm
debate over a certain piece of ground occupying a space midway between
the King’s Highway and the Broad Highway. This eligible site had been
used for holding church-festivals to raise funds for the maintenance
of gospel work. A few wealthy friends of Satan wanted this location
to erect on it a club-house wherein they might revel and carouse as
they wished.
The question arose among the members of the committee as to which of
the two uses would best subserve the purpose of their master who held
a claim on the land.
The chairman arose, after listening to the arguments at length, and
addressed the audience with great coolness and deliberation: “Most
worthy members of this committee,” commenced he, “you have spoken many
words of truth this day. Your interest in this matter only shows your
loyalty to our cause. ‘Club-House or Festival?’ that is the question.
Surely we cannot dispense with either, but rather must we maintain
both at any cost. As for this place in question, I am decidedly in
favor of holding it for the use of the church. The Club-House will
find a location elsewhere, but this ground is so favorably situated
for church-merchandising that I urge you to hold it for such purposes.
Have we not seen how eagerly the two classes mingle here? This place,
being so accessible to all parties, makes it possible for the church
to gather larger numbers and thereby reap greater financial results--
which is the principal object of the church in holding these delightful
affairs. Since the church is well supplied with everything it needs
except money, let us do it a favor by rendering some assistance in
that direction. Then we may reasonably expect that the church will,
in return, do us a favor by being less hostile to our methods of
operation, which, as you will admit, are highly honorable.”
This speech had the desired effect. A resolution was quickly passed
in harmony with the opinion of the chairman.
The curiosity of Mr. World was now satisfied, for he had seen this
famous committee in session. Therefore he repaired to the waiting-
room, and while conducting Miss Church-Member from the building their
attention was arrested by this announcement written in bold letters
near the exit:
ANY ONE WISHING REFRESHMENTS CAN FIND THEM AT THE FESTIVAL ON THE
CHURCH GROUNDS.
“How does that announcement suit you?” interrogated Mr. World.
“It comes at an opportune time,” she answered, her face brightening,
“I had been hoping that we might soon have lunch.”
They had gone but a few steps from the door when they heard cheery
voices and strains.
Here the Church receives money for souls from the Devil, while the
Devil gets souls for money from the Church of music lending attractive
life to the festival. Urged on by the thought of a pleasant hour, they
quickened their pace unconsciously and were soon within sight of the
grounds.
I saw the multitude gathering in the grove. The mingling of the church
and the world was so complete that one could scarcely tell from which
path many had come.
[Illustration: The Festival. Here the Church receives money for souls
from the Devil, while the Devil gets souls for money from the Church.]
On this intervening ground everything appealed to the appetite, and
the patrons knew that the more they ate or purchased the greater would
be the success of the festival. Therefore some ate even unto gluttony
for the benefit of the church, while the agents of Satan with skillful
aim were sending poisoned arrows into the heart of true benevolence,
and also endeavoring to arrest the minds of Christians so that they
might pursue the Broader Path after their routine at the festival was
ended.
Thus I saw, falling into the coffers of the church, filthy lucre not
sanctified by prayer or sacrifice, and from this seed the church hoped
to reap a holy harvest.
Mr. World and his companion spent a delightful season with the company
and, thanks to Mr. World’s plethoric purse, proved themselves pleasingly
generous in their patronage. Finally Miss Church-Member excused herself
from Mr. World and joined a company of young ladies who were engaged
in joyous pleasures.
Mr. World, now alone, was walking leisurely about the grounds when
Satan appeared and sauntered at his side “Are you not fearful,” asked
Mr. World in the midst of a conversation, “that many of your subjects
will be led into the Narrow Path by tarrying at this place and
associating with so many Christians?”
“Not in the least,” he replied, “for at such places as this I gain
more subjects than I lose. So I expect to encourage forever
sacred-merchandising all along my route. The churches are glad to use
this ground even though it belongs to me, for I concede to them all
the money. Naturally I prefer souls to money.”
“How did this word ‘festival’ originate?” queried Mr. World after a
brief pause in the conversation.
“With pleasure I will explain. Once upon a time I called together my
generals to determine upon new methods of winning converts to our
cause, and promised to confer upon the one who should suggest the best
plan, the honorable title ‘Fast Devil.’
“A long intermission was granted to give my aids time to use their
ingenuity in planning. All Hell was filled with students, each one
striving to win the title.
“At a given signal my cohorts re-assembled. Thus before me lay a vast
army of anxious faces. I gave each one, who desired, an opportunity
to speak. The sun revolved on his axis seven times ere the argument
was finished. During this debate there was comparative peace on earth.”
“Pray tell me,” further asked Mr. World, “What was the trend of their
suggestions?”
“I could relate it all, for I have every word recorded, but I shall
not weary you.”
“But at least give me a general idea.”
“Willingly. One of my generals arose and said: ‘We can change some of
our tactics without loss to our cause. The sword and torture only
strengthen our enemies. We should resort more to the ‘wolf-
in-sheep’s-clothing method.’
“He could speak no more. A thundering sound of voices drowned his
utterances. Thousands of my loyal leaders seconded his plans.
“At last one of the speakers, who indeed won the prize, earnestly
proposed a grand scheme, and the vast multitudes listened with rapt
attention. His speech was short but fiery, and, rising to the occasion,
he demanded that all his comrades should unite to destroy the simple
voluntary spirit of Christian benevolence so that the church might go
begging before the world and even resort to all manner of mercantile
business for its support. The speaker declared that if the church could
be induced to adopt such measures it would tend to divert her mind
from interfering with the work to which he and his auditors were all
loyally pledged.
“This speech had a marvelous effect, and there was a deafening roar
of voices in the applause which continued for a long space of time.
“Then followed an animated discussion in which a host of trusted leaders
engaged. Each one commented on the winning speech and offered
suggestions how to awaken a trading interest in the church. It was
conceded that first of all the church must feel the necessity of
resorting to business. Accordingly a large committee was appointed to
work systematically amongst the churches on earth, inducing their
members to depart from the customs of the early church.
“This committee did yeoman service and shrewdly prepared the way for
the more complete work in harmony with the views of Fast Devil. Through
the ages it succeeded in gradually influencing the church to engage
in all manner of performances and trading schemes to gain support. The
work of this committee is not yet at an end, for nearly every week we
hear of some innovation which has crept into the church, or some new
form of merchandising into which it has fortunately entered.
“It is indeed gratifying that the church is casting off her unsightly
spiritual robe and putting on the costume of merriment and trade. I
hope the day will soon come when the church will have still less of
the spiritual nonsense and more of these up-to-date methods to secure
funds for its support.”
As Satan spoke his last words he bid a brief adieu to Mr. World and
hastened away to the side of a young man who was almost persuaded to
yield to some elevating influence. I suddenly looked at Blackana whose
presence I had well-nigh forgotten.
“Have you been taking your ease in sleep?” I asked as an involuntary
shudder shook my frame.
“I never sleep. Suns may wax and wane, nations rise and fall, peoples
live and die, but I am awake forever.”
“Did you hear the conversation between Satan and Mr. World?”
“Every word of it.”
“Were you present when Satan held that great convocation to devise
plans for more efficient work against the church of Jesus Christ on
earth?”
“I attended every session.”
“And did you hear the speech of Fast Devil?”
“I heard every word.”
“And did Satan give to Mr. World a true account of the address?”
“He gave only a condensed and garbled rendering of it.”
“Then I command you, O Blackana, to give me a full reproduction of
Fast Devil’s speech as far as you are able to translate the language
of Hell into words that are intelligible to me. Can you remember each
thought?”
“I must remember, for I have not the power to forget,” and Blackana
groaned aloud. “Oh, that I could bury in oblivion the myriad thoughts
that sting me with remorse!” He paused a moment. “Am I to give you the
whole--speech as Fast Devil delivered it originally?”
“Thought for thought, and gesture for gesture,” I answered with
authority.
Ere the last syllable fell from my lips Blackana was suddenly
transformed into a more terrifying creature than he was himself. I was
paralyzed at the sight of the weird monster which I learned was the
image of Fast Devil.
There he stood, tall and erect, seven times the height of man, with
sinews like iron-rope and with a face defying human description. His
eyes were fiery with life, and determination marked every movement as
he stepped forward to speak.
Notwithstanding my consciousness of being sustained by supernatural
power, I trembled as Blackana reproduced this noted speech of Fast
Devil:
“Most honored chief and glorious master,” he commenced, “be thou
indulgent as I speak to thee and unto these my comrades who lie in
anxious posture over this vast expanse of Hell. I am here to state an
issue of which we have heard murmurings for many an age. To prepare
for this hour I have taxed my ingenuity to its utmost.”
Then with striking gestures of his awful arms he passionately continued:
“Hope is no more crushed within me as I view the wide and measureless
field of our possibilities, for I see empires within our reach if we
but cease brooding over our dismal past and let this bright prospect
kindle its flames within us. What spur need we to move us on but to
look up and see the resplendent regions whence we fell, till hatred
starts afresh within our beings and our every passion moves to its
control.”
With an outward swing of his great right arm he asked in strong
appealing tones: “How can we best succeed against the church in which
our enemy glories so unceasingly? What inroads can we make? In what
manner shall we advance?”
He vigorously seized a book. “Here is a Bible, borrowed from a saint.
I turned its pages over and over that I might learn what pained the
heart of Christ most grievously, vexing his inmost soul with
indignation. What was it?” vociferously interrogated Fast Devil as he
flung the book to the scorching winds of Hell. “’Twas that which
hindered the cause of Christ most efficiently--_prostituting the house
of God to worldly purposes_. Have we forgotten the vehemence with which
this arch-enemy drove the money kings from His sacred abode, saying
unto them: ‘My house is a house of prayer, but ye have made it a den
of thieves,’ and how we like sneaking cowards crawled away, and thus
our glorious scheme went by default?”
Then Blackana uttered his final appeal with all the swing of his mighty
body and the low vibrant thunder of his voice. “Back to your forts!
Oh, back! ye dormant hosts around me! Not in the strength of arms, but
with the subtlest webs that Hell can weave, and with the snares of
silent treachery. We need no stronger weapons, and for our dress we
will don sheep’s clothing of the finest wool. Thus who amongst the
church can tell that we are not seeking her highest good? _Then as we
strike at the heart of voluntary offering in the church, so shall we
kill the spirit that gives it birth. The carcass of this dead spirit
unburied we shall drag through the church for ages, and the germs of
disease arising therefrom will bring more death into the ranks of our
foes than all our weapons of warfare ever did.”_
Blackana instantly resumed his former shape, and “while I was musing
the fire burned.” I then looked out toward the festival ground and saw
that Satan had returned to Mr. World and was explaining to him how
helpful these festivals were to Christians.
“Aside from the moral and religious influence,” he remarked, “how could
the church defray her expenses if she did not engage in some innocent
forms of merchandising, or use some novel scheme to decoy money from
her admirers. Surely there can be no better way,” continued the Devil
with an unholy grin. “If the church would maintain her honor before
the world, she must not do differently. I _am satisfied if wily thee
old way of voluntary giving is more and more discarded by the church.”_
“But you began your former recital,” reminded Mr. World, “to inform
me how the word ‘Festival’ originated. You have not yet succeeded in
making it clear to me.”
“It originated from the phrase of honor which was given the prize-
winner, Fast Devil, but we changed the wording somewhat so that it
might not seem obnoxious to the church.”
Then, by a peculiar method of concrete marking, Satan continued: “The
following is the process of development from the phrase to the word:
‘Fast Devil;’ ‘_Fest Evil_;’ ‘FESTIVAL.’”