DEAR MR. PUNCH,--Of my two selections to supply the last Horse in the
Derby--one--_La Flêche_, so far forgot what was due to my prophetic
utterances as to finish _second_--and indeed, very nearly _win_!
However, as such reprehensible conduct was mainly owing to the absurd
wish of her jockey, BARRETT, to be first, my readers will see that no
blame attaches to _me_--as the mare would doubtless not have hurried
so much had she been left to her own devices--(the sex notoriously
dislikes hurry)--it being a well-known fact that she would make a
race with a donkey!--though why donkey races should be spoken of with
such contempt. I don't know, for I once rode one with Lord ARTHUR
on Hampstead Heath--(it was during our engagement, when people will
do foolish things; we had been "slumming," and he was disguised in
"pearlies," whilst I was gowned "_à la_ 'ARRIETT")--and I assure you
our Donkeys went very fast. However--this is a digression--as the man
said when he walked over the cliff, so let us "_noch einmal zu unser
schafen_," as the German proverb runs. Although disappointed in the
behaviour of _La Flêche_, my second string _Llanthony_ maintained
my reputation for correct tips, by running _last_, as I said he
would!--It is true that some papers report him as having finished
seventh and _El Diablo_ last; but as he did not _win_, he might just
as well have been last as seventh--and as I am sure my friend Lord
ELTHAM will not mind the placings being reversed--I therefore place
_Llanthony_ last--and those of my readers who took my advice and
backed him, will have every reason to congratulate themselves when
they draw their money!
With regard to the winner, _Sir Hugo_, whose success was a general
surprise to all except myself--(surprise is bad form)--I can only
follow the example of all other writers on turf matters in declaring
that, "he always had my good word, and was in fact my winter
favourite, as anyone can see who will take the trouble to glance
through my earlier advices!"--these will be difficult to find, as
they were only conveyed in private letters which will not be published
until my biography is written later on!--(very much, I hope). Still,
had I pursued the ordinary course of trying to tip the _Winner_, _Sir
Hugo_ would undoubtedly have been my sole selection--a fact which
should not fail to weigh with my followers--and I _have_ followers
in plenty, as Lord ARTHUR knows!
Having done the whole of Epsom week, I shall be glad of a rest to
get ready for Ascot--(four new gowns to try on)--and besides there
are some smart parties to attend next week, so Doncaster will not be
blessed with my sweet presence. However, I have a friend there on
the Press _who can be trusted_. So, in concluding this letter with
my selection for the last horse in the Manchester Cup, I am able to
recommend it _very_ strongly, as my friend will do the placing; and
as _I_ am not there, no collusion can be suspected!
I must just mention that among the shows provided on Epsom Downs for
the entertainment of the multitude, was one which I should like to see
done away with, namely, the so-called "glove contests"--which to my
mind are not calculated to advance "England's greatness" nor are they
pleasing to look on at. The "abolition of Slavin(g)" is undoubtedly
a fine thing, but is hardly perhaps an unmixed blessing when it makes
heroes of Dusky Warriors!
I hear from my friend Major CLEMENT that we are going to have a most
successful Ascot in spite of the regrettable absence of Royalty;
indeed he could have let all the Boxes twice over--and as I shall
be staying there all the week with my friends the Baron and Baroness
LUTHER VON MONTAG, I hope to collect some valuable information for my
betting readers.
Yours devotedly, LADY GAY.