Lib Meachem (az she iz familiarly called in the township whare she
resides) iz one ov the rarest gems ov extenuated mortality that has ever
been mi blessed luk teu enkounter.
She iz not so old az Bascomb bi about two years, being only about 194
years old. Next to Lot's wife she iz the best preserved woman the world
kontains.
I reached her place ov residence early in the morning, and in one minnit
after i told her mi bizzness her tounge had a phull hed ov steam on, and
for 3 hours it run like a stream ov quicksilver down an inklined plain.
I asked her a thousand questions at least, but not one ov them did she
answer, but kept talking all the time faster than Pochahontas kan pace
down hill teu saddle.
Az near az i could find out she had lived 194 years simply bekauze she
couldn't die without cutting short one ov her storys.
I asked her teu show me her tounge--I wanted to see if that member waz
badly worn; but she couldn't stop it long enuff teu sho it.
This woman haz reached her ernomus age without enny partikular habit.
She haz outlived every boddy she haz kum akrost, so far, by out-talking
them.
The only subject that I could for a moment arrest the flood ov her
language with, waz the fashions; but this waz a subjekt upon whitch i
unfortunately wan't mutch.
As a last hope ov drawing her out upon sum fakts az teu her mode ov
life, i tutched upon that all-absorbing topick teu both old and yung--i
refer now teu matrimony.
Her fust husband it seemed, waz a carpenter, and, teu use her own words,
"waz too lazy teu talk, or teu listen while she talked, and so he died."
Her seckond husband waz a pretty good talker but a poor listener, and,
tharefore, he died.
Her third husband waz a deff and dum man, and, az she remarked, "either
he or she had got teu die, and the man died."
Her fourth husband undertook teu out-talk her, and died early.
In this way she went on deskribing her husbands, 12 in all.
Az i roze teu depart i sed teu her sollemly:
"ELIZABETH MEACHEM, yu hav been mutch marrid, and mutch an inkosolate
widder--at what time ov life do yu think the marrid state ceazes teu be
preferable?"
She replied:
"Yu must ask sumboddy older than i am."
{MISSELLANEOUS.}