Cunning iz often took for wisdum, but it iz the mere skum that rizes
when wisdum biles her pot, it hath not the stride ov wisdum, neither haz
it the honesty ov wisdum, it iz more like instinkt, than it iz like
reazon.
Cunning ain't good at begetting, it iz better at executing, it iz like
the wisdum ov a kat, fust rate tew watch a rat hole.
The cunning man haz two virtues alwus prominent, patience, and energy,
without these he would fall below the kat, and fail tew git hiz mouse.
Thare iz lots ov cunning men who are like an unskillful trapper, who
knows how tew set a trap, but hain't got the wisdum tew bait it.
Cunning men alwus hav a speciality, such az it iz, i hav seen them who
could ride a mule tew a spot, but who set a hoss awkwardly.
Thare iz this average between a cunning man and a wise man, the cunning
man's wisdum iz alwus on the outside ov hiz face, he kant hide it, it iz
alwus squirting out ov the corner ov his eyes, while the wize man carrys
hiz grist deep, stowed away in hiz heart, and don't use hiz wisdum tew
find ockasions, but tew master them, when they pop up.
Cunning men have grate caution, bekauze they serpoze themselfs watched,
inasmutch az they are alwus watching others.
They hav but few brains, but what they hav, are petroleum, and their
brains being few, and greasy, enables them tew fetch them tew a focus
sudden.
It iz hard work to be very cunning and very honest, at the same time, i
reckon this, bekauze i dont see the two hugging and kissing each other
very much.
Cunning haz a skandalous pedigree, he iz the babe ov wisdum, and Fraud,
and iz the only child they ever had, but looks and ackts just like his
ma.
It would take a big book tew make an almanack ov a cunning man, and the
changes in him, fits, starts, and doubles, and hiz windings, hiz in's
and hiz outs, the parables in which he talks, and the double entenders
ov hiz face, awl that he duz, and awl that he thinks, are for effekt.
Cunning men's advice iz hard tew follow, bekause their wisdum iz made
like a bed quilt, out ov patches, and iz also composed ov shifts, for
the emergincy ov an ockasion, tew mutch for a stiddy diet.
If you don't understand wiggling yourself, or the rudiments ov it, yu
must not git yure advice from the cunning man.
Cunning haz alwus passed for wisdum, and will continue on to do so, az
long az phools last, and phools will last az long az enny boddy else
duz, and sustane their reputashun.
Cunning iz alwus selfish, bekauze it iz not ov mutch breadth, while
wisdum can afford tew be magnanimous, and hav sumthing left over.
But the ways and dodges ov cunning are past finding out, yu might az
well undertake tew track a snake in the grass, when the dew iz off, or a
fox, in a straight line tew hiz hole.
Cunning men are not very dangerous, they hav so mutch vanity, and their
vanity satisfied their ambition iz, and when vanity takes the place ov
ambishun, we are more amuzed than alarmed.
Cunning men, in the hands ov wize men, are useful, more useful, quite
often, than honesty, bekauze they are more sudden, and less sempelous.
It is safer tew entrust a sekret tew a cunning man, than a clever man,
the clever man is sure tew spill it, the cunning one may use it aginst
yu, but he iz eazier tew watch, and control, than the good natured
fellow, who, like a young pup, lays down, rools over, and wags himself
in front ov evry man he meets.
Cunning men hav manny associates, but few intimates, they sumtimes hunt
in couples, but are apt tew fight, when they cum to divide the plunder.
_The Deceitful Cuss._--An open enemy, a hearty hater, a bold
dead-beater, an imperious friend, a phoolish chum, a reckless companyun,
anything in shape ov human, or ov brute, and even aul things devlish,
are mince pies with raizins in them, compared tew a slipping, sneaking
_Deceit_, who, under the guize and garments ov being in love with you,
chaws tobbaker out ov yure box, and lies tew yu evry time he tells yu
the truth.
Theze human polecats are thick in this world, their eyes are like the
kats, made tew see in the dark, they hav the face ov a sheep, and the
heart ov a snaik, they kan kry at an impromptu christening, they are az
full ov cunning az a she opposum, and would rather fail in an enterprise
than to do it honestly.
These critters, az awkward as it may seem, are full ov vanity and
ambishun, and their vanity and ambishun iz tew play lion under a sheep's
skin.
It iz a strange ambishun that a man will cultivate wisdum only for the
sake ov being cunning, that he will perfect himself in the art and
imagery of love and friendship for the sake ov counterfitting them, that
he will studdy pitty for gain, that he will work hard for the devil at 2
shillings a day, and finally, that he will practiss the rudiments ov awl
the virtews ov soshul life, simply for the sake ov doing with a good
grace what iz shameful and wicked to do at all.
I hav known men ov this brand, who where not wholly malishus, who would
aktually dew yu a good turn to-morrow if they could cheat yu to-day, who
deceive not entirely for gain, but tew keep their tools whet, who hav
sum excellent traits, which sumtimes drop out seemingly by mistake.
But a natral crook toward deception iz like the bight ov a mad dogg, it
may sleep for a long time in the veins ov its viktim, very well behaved
pizen, watching for a good time, but sooner or later, when least
expekted, the virus begins tew play dorg by asserting its dredful
prerogative.
It don't cure theze vermin tew ketch them, if they waz rats, which we
could drown in the trap, it would be bully, but letting them go only
makes them the more cunning.
Deception iz one ov the sciences, it haz its deakons, elders and hod
carriers, the world swarms with them, all ov the pimps among them, such
az the wodden nutmeg makers, and the small beer-cheats, we kan punish
enuff by dispising, but what reward, short ov the gibbet, or at least
the whipping post, iz equal tew the villainous cuss who creeps on hiz
body into yure confidense, a subdued and shivering snake, and warms up
into a viper.
Ingratitude iz one ov them diabolikal crimes that awl men hate, but
leave the punishment to heaven.
The _Domestik Man_ iz ov a maskuline and feminine tendency--half and
half--and sumtimes more so.
He kan most generally be found at home--when he aint wanted.
He iz a kind ov second lutennant in hiz family, under haff pay, with
promiss of promoshun.
He kan beat hiz wife bileing soap, or nussing the baby, and she kan beat
him, in the 4th ward, running for perlice constabel.
He iz alwus reddy tew do ennything--when hiz wife iz.
He iz a kind ov spy in the household, and iz treated az such by the
whole family. The servants laff at him, and the children dont fear him.
He iz az fierce as an old hen setting on one egg, and just about az
dangerous.
Hiz wife marrid him, not out ov love, but out ov pitty; and pitty never
changes into respekt, but gennerally into disgust.
_The Generous Man._--Generosity iz an instinkt--a kind ov natral
crook--a weird child ov the heart.
It iz diffrent from profusion; profusion iz most alwus the decoy duck ov
vanity.
Generosity iz diffrent from charity; charity iz the impulse ov reason.
It iz diffrent from justiss--justiss iz 16 ounces tew the pound, and no
more.
Generosity iz sumthing more than justiss, and sumthing less than
profusion; it iz the good a man duz, without being able tew give enny
reazon for it.
If a man iz alwus genrous he will alwus be right, or will hav a good
excuse for what seems tew be wrong.
Generosity iz bravery, and it iz truth: no one ever saw a generous man
who waz a coward or a liar.
Generosity sumtimes may lack prudence, but it never lacks faith, and
faith haz won holier laurels than prudence ever did.
The generous man chastens hiz gifts with the assurance that the giver iz
az happy in the gift az the receiver iz.
He takes the fust swaller out ov the dipper, and smacking hiz lips,
insists upon your drinking the balance awl up.
Poverty haz no power over generosity enny more than it haz over love.
This iz my idee ov the kind ov generosity that I am writing about.