I wouldn't giv a shilling a pound for religion that yu kant take
ennywhere out into the world with yu, even tew a hoss race, if yu hav a
mind tew, without losing it.
Tew do nothing, and tew be ov no use tew ennyboddy, iz the privilege ov
wild beasts.
The best way tew convince a phool he iz wrong, iz tew let him hav hiz
own way.
The very thing that most men think they have got the most ov, they hav
got the least ov, and that iz judgement.
A man iz vain just in proportion tew hiz pholly, and wize, just in
proportion tew hiz humility.
A vain man, flushed with success, spreads himself like a peakock, in a
fair day, but when hiz hour ov trial cums, like a peakock, in a wet day,
he folds hiz spread, "and steals silently away."
When vice leaves an old man, it iz no ways certain that virtew takes the
place ov it, for sin sumtimes quits us bekause it haz nothing to feed
on.
Alwus foller yure own advise, and let other folks foller theirs.
People who havn't got ennything tew say, kan always find the most tew
talk about.
Most folks think, if they were tew liv their lives over agin, they would
do _different_, but i hav never heard enny ov them propose to liv
_better_.
It seems very natral for all ov us to think that the world would git
along very poorly, if it want for _us_, and if thare want but one man
left on the face ov the earth, he would think just so too.
The luxurys ov life, which are so often reprimandid, are after all the
prinsipal promoters ov industry.
Munny ain't akumulated so mutch tew satisfy wants, as tew kreate them.
It iz a very wize man who is able tew hide his ignorance.
Wisdum iz another name for genius, and both are the gift of God.
A man kant learn tew be wize, enny more than he kan learn tew be hansum.
One man, of good 40 hoss power common sens, iz worth more in the world
than a whole drove of geniuses.
Fools and drunken men alwus make this mistake, the one thinks they are
sensible, and the other alwus think they are sober.
Deference iz the best kard i know ov tew play, it iz not only eazier,
but a grate deal more profitable to make 10 men think they are abuv you,
than tew make one think you are abuv him.
Don't forgit, yung man, that excesses in youth are a mortgage in favor
ov disseaze by and by, which will not fail to forclose and enter on the
premises.
I hav made a kluss kalkulashun on it, and i find that there aint more
than 3 men, now on earth, nor never haint been, who kan kultivate an
excentricity with suckcess.
I hate a crowd, bekauze crowds are made up ov people who aint ov much
ackount, only tew help make up a crowd.
Don't borry nor lend, but if you must do one, _lend_.
Giv me an inkum ov 10 thousand, 500 a year, and i will agree tew be a
philosopher the rest ov mi days.
He whom prosperity humbles, and adversity strengthens, is the true hero.
Faith beats both wisdum and learning.
Envy and jealousy are two pashunz, which no man haz ever yet been free
from, and yet no man ever admits he iz possessed of them.
Take all the good luk out ov this world, and millionaires and heroes
would be dredful skarse.
Genius, like the yung eagle, don't hav tew make enny trial trips, but
when it iz full fledged, pushes boldly out, even towards the sun.
Fortune iz represented az blind, and thoze who receive most ov her
favours _go it blind_.
If thare want no evil in this world, thare wouldn't be much wisdum, i
suppoze.
It iz the little things ov life that makes the burden heavy--to carry a
hundred weight at once iz no grate load, but tew hav it put on our
backs, a pound at a time, iz.
Men are often praized for their sagassity, but all the fore-sight in the
world kant tell a dubble yelked egg untill it iz broken.
Haven't yu ever seen a little child tri tew pik up four apples with its
little hands at once, and spill at least two ov them? Men are konstantly
trieing the same game, with the same kind ov suckcess.
One way tew define love iz, that it makes us pheal phunny and akt
phoolish.
Love feeds on hopes and fears, and, like the chameleon, takes its color
from what it feeds on.
Silence makes but phew blunders, and thoze it kan easily korrekt.
Thare iz hardly enny man so wicked but that he respekts virtew for the
protekshun it affords him.
The further advances a man makes in knowledge, the less satisfied he iz
with what he knows.
Gallantry may possibly be defined az the politeness ov flattery.
My yung friend, don't forgit one thing--however cunning yu may be, the
eazyest man in all the world for yu tew cheat iz yureself.
Az good a way az i kno ov tew git at enny man's honesty, iz tew divide
what he claims tew hav by four, and then guess at what's left.
The text which haz been most preached from by the human family iz
vanity.
Thare are az menny old phools in this world az yung ones, and the old
ones are the sillyest.
The publik judge ov a man by his suckcess.
Avarice eats up everything, even ekonemy.
Hope iz a blind guide, but whare will you find a better one?
I like a wide-awake christian, one whoze virtew has got some kayenne
pepper in it.
Indolence may not be a crime, but it iz liable tew be at enny time.