Philosophy iz born in the head, and dies in the heart.
I hav noticed one thing, that just about in proporshun that the pashuns
are weak, men are seemingly virtewous.
Here iz just what's the matter--if yu shut yureself up folks will run
after yu, and if yu run after folks they will shut themselfs up.
[Illustration: GLASS DIMONDS.]
Thare iz az mutch difference between wit and humor, az thare iz between
the ile and the essence of peppermint.
It iz a safe kalkulashun that the more praze a man iz willing to take,
the less he deserves.
Thare iz but phew people in this world underrated.
Honesty iz the only aristokrasy that i acknoweledge; an honest man iz
alwus a well-bred man and a gentleman.
Politeness iz not only the most powerful, but the cheapest argument I
kno ov. The more wrinkles i kan see in a man's face the better i like
it, provided a smile lays in each one ov the gutters.
The philosophers tell us that "natur abhors a vacum." This ackounts for
the sawdust in sum mens heds.
Thare iz now and then a person to whom sosiety owes menny obligashuns,
but most people owe all thare iz ov them tew sosiety.
If yu pull the sting out ov a hornet hiz moral power iz gone in a
minnit.
We are all ov us willing tew divide our sorrows amung our nabors, but
our plezzures we are more stingy with.
Sages and phools are the only two kinds ov people that the world kan
afford tew hav liv in solitude.
If a man waz kompletely virtewous, i doubt whether he would be happy
here, he would be so lonesum.
It dont require mutch tallent tew giv good advice, but tew follow it
duz.
Altho the mule iz looked upon az a stupid kritter, he makes sum most
brilliant hits.
Every man haz a weak side, and sum hav two or three.
He who demands respekt almost allways deserves it.
Ridikule that ain't true haz no partikular power.
I wouldn't giv 250 dollars cash, or good dicker, for all the fame thare
iz in the world at this partikular junktur.
Mi opinyun ov mankind, az a brilliant suckcess, needs a good deal ov
nussing.
No church kan expekt tew be very suckcessful now days, unless it haz got
a good orkestra in it.
Hope iz a thoughtless jade--she often cheats us, but she haz no malace.
When i waz yung i thought all money spent waz well invested, but az i
get older i cypher different.
God makes opportunitys, but man must hunt for them.
Invenshun and judgement are seldom found together.
Ambishun tew shine in everything iz a sure way tew put a man's kandell
all out.
Man's make up iz ov natur and custom, and i don't kno which ov the two
iz the most powerfullest.
A grate brag iz either a phool or a coward, and probably he iz both.
Az long az we are lucky we attribit it tew our smartness; our bad luck
we giv the gods credit for.
Thare iz one person in this world that every boddy kan tell yu all
about, and that iz the next door nabor.
Thare are people who love too well to ever be jealous.
I kno lots ov people who always think at least 3 times before they speak
once, and then never say enny thing worth listening to.
It takes a certain amount ov back ground in a man's karakter tew sho hiz
virtews to good advantage.
It iz better tew overshute the mark than tew fall short; this shows that
the fault ain't in the amunishun.
Thare iz plenty ov individuals who, if they kan go up like a baloon, are
willing tew cum down like a chunk.