Experience iz a grindstun, and it iz lucky for us if we kan git
brightened by it, not ground.
We shouldn't forgit one thing, that thare iz not a single fee simple on
this futstool; even the best tooth in our hed may fall tew aking before
sunset and hav tew be jerked out.
Ignorance iz the wet nuss of prejudice.
Anticipation iz constantly nibbling expekted pleazure untill it consumes
it, jiss so the skool boy, who visits his basket during the forenoon too
often, has allreddy diskounted hiz dinner.
I never knu a man trubbled with melankolly, who had plenty to dew, and
did it.
Good breeding, az i understand it, iz giving every man his due, without
robbing yourself.
Natur iz jist az honest az a cow.
Talk little, but listen out loud, yung man, iz the way tew make the
company suspekt you--i mean suspekt yu ov knowing a grate deal more than
yu aktually do.
If yu should reduce the wants ov the people ov Nu York citty tew aktual
necessitys and plain comforts, yu would hav tew dubble the perlice force
tew keep them from committing suicide.
People when they find fault with theirselfs, are generally more anxious
tew be consoled than forgiven, and, therefore, when a man begins tew
confess hiz sins tew me and sez, "_thare ain't no hope for him_," i tell
him he ought tew know awl about it, and i guess iz more than half right.
What the world wants iz good examples, not so mutch advice; advice may
be wrong, but examples prove themselves.
Pride iz bogus. Adam at one time had a right tew be proud but he let sin
beat him out of hiz birthright.
A crowing hen and a cackling ruseter are very misfortunate poultry in a
family.
Az a ginral thing the man who marrys a woman ov more uppercrust than
himself will find the woman more anxious tew preserve the distance
between them than tew bring him up tew her grade or go down tew hiz
level.
Titles are valuable; they make us acquainted with menny persons who
otherwise would be lost amung the rubbish.
Peace iz the soft and holy shadder that virtew casts.
Habits are like the wrinkles on a man's brow, if yu will smoothe out the
one i will smoothe out the other.
It iz a darned sight eazier tew find six men who kan tell exactly how a
thing ought tew be did than tew find one who will do it.
Marrying for money iz a meaner way tew git it than counterfiting.
Dispatch iz taking time bi the ears. Hurry iz taking it bi the end ov
the tail.
The miser who heaps up gains tew gloat over iz like a hog in a pen
fatted for a show.