If man hadn't hav bin made at all, you would never hav heard me find
enny fault about it.
I haven't much faith in man, not bekauze he kant do well but bekauze he
wont.
Ants hav bye laws, and a constitushun, and they mean sumthing.
Their laws aint like our laws, made with a hole in them, so that a man
kan steal a hoss and ride thru them on a walk.
They don't hav enny whisky ring, that iz virtewous, simply, bekauze it
hooks bi the millyun, and then legalizes its own ackts.
They don't hav enny legislators that yu kan buy, nor enny judges, laying
around on the haff shell, reddy tew be swallered.
I rather like the aunts, and think now I shall sell out mi money and
real estate, and jine them.
I had rather jine them than the bulls or the bears, i like their morals
better.
The bulls and the bears handle more money, it iz true, and make a grate
deal more noize in Wall street, one ov them sticking his horn into a
flabby piece ov Erie and tossing it up into the air, and the other
ketching it when it cums down, and trampling it under hiz paws.
This may be phun for the bulls and the bears, but it iz wuss than the
cholera morbust for poor Erie.
Ants never disturb Erie; yu couldn't sell one eny Erie, enny more than
you could sell one skrip on the cod-fish banks ov Nufoundland.
Ants are a honest, hard-tugging little people, but whether they marry,
and giv in marriage, iz beyond my strength; but if they don't they are
no wuzz oph than they are out west (near the city of Chicago), where
they marry to-day and apply for an injunkshun to-morrow; and are reddy
the next day to fite it out agin on sum other line.
Wedlok out west (near the grate grain mart Chicago) iz one ov them kind
ov locks that almost enny boddy kan pick.