THE POODLE.

The poodle iz a small dog, with sore eyes, and hid amungst a good deal

ov promiskuss hair.

They are sumtimes white for color, and their hair iz tangled all over

them, like the hed ov a yung darkey.

They are kept az pets, and, like all other pets, are az stubborn az a

setting hen.

A poodle iz a woman's pet, and that makes them kind ov sakred, for

whatever a woman luvs she worships.

I hav seen poodles that i almost wanted tew swop places with, but the

owners ov them didn't akt to me az tho they wanted tew trade for enny

thing.

Thare iz but phew things on the face ov this earth more utterly

worthless than a poodle, and yet i am glad thare iz poodles, for if

thare wasn't thare iz some people who wouldn't hav enny objekt in

living, and hav nothing tew luv.

Thare iz nothing in this world made in vain, and poodles are good for

fleas.

Fleas are also good for poodles, for they keep their minds employed

scratching, and almost every boddy else's too about the house.

I never knew a man tew keep a poodle. Man's natur iz too koarse for

poodles. A poodle would soon fade and die if a man waz tew nuss him.

I don't expekt enny poodle, but if enny boddy duz giv me one he must

make up hiz mind tew be tied onto a long stick every Saturday, and be

used for washing the windows on the outside.

This kind ov nussing would probably make the poodle mad, and probably he

would quit, but i kant help it.

If i hav got tew keep a poodle, he haz got tew help wash the windows

every Saturday. I am solid on this pint.

Bully for me.

The Complete Works of Josh Billings · 第 122 / 401 题