The cat, iz called a domestik animile,--but i never hav bin able tew
tell wharefore.
You kant trust one, enney more than yu kan a case ov the gout. Thare iz
only one mortal thing, that yu kan trust a cat with, and cum out even,
and that iz, a bar ov hard sope.
They are az meak as Mosiss, but az full ov develtry az Judus Iskaratt.
[Illustration: THE CAT, AND THE KANGAROO.]
They will harvest a dozen ov yung chickens for yu, and then steal into
the sitting room, az softly az an undertaker, and lay themselfs down on
the rug, at yure feet, full ov injured innocence, and chicken, and dream
ov their childhood days.
All thare iz, sure about a cat, that iz domestik, that i kno ov, iz,
that yu kant looze one.
You kant looze a cat,--they are az hard to looze, az a bad reputashun
iz.
You may send one out ov the state, dun up in a meal bag, and marked, "C.
O. D.," and the next morning yu will find him, or her, (accordin tew
sex) in the same old spot, along side ov the kitchen stove, reddy tew be
stepped on.
Cats hav got two good ears for melody, and often make the night
atmosphear melodious, with their opera musik.
But the most wonderful thing, about a cat, that haz bin diskovered yet,
iz their fear ov death.
Yu kant induce one, by enny ordinary means, to accept ov death,--they
aktually skorn tew die.
You may kill one, az much az yu hav a mind to, and they will begin life
anew, in a few minnitts, with a more flattering prospektus.
Dogs i love, they carry their kridenshuls in their faces, and kant hide
them, but the bulk ov cats reputashun lays buried in their stumuk, az
unknown tew themselfs, az tew enny boddy else.
Thare iz only one thing, about, that i like, and that iz, they are verry
cheap,--a little money,--well invested,--will go a grate ways, in cats.
Cats are very plenty in this world, just now, i counted 18 from my
boarding house winder, one moon lite night, last summer, and it want a
fust rate night for cats neither.
* * * * *
The Kangaroo is an overgrown monkey. They are fello-citizens ov Afrika,
and spend most ov their lezzure moments on foot. They hav four legs, but
their fore legs aint ov mutch use to them; they do most ov their acktual
bizzness with their hind legs. They travel a good deal az a frog duz--on
the jump.
Kangarooes are verry valuabel in their plase, and Afrika iz the plase
for them. I hav thought if the whole ov Afrika had been planted with
Kangaroos, and none ov it with other peeple, it would hav been full as
good a crop to know what to do with.
Kangaroos liv upon roots, gras, and herbs, and kan outjump ennything in
the wilderness. In the face they resemble the deer, but in the length ov
their tails they resemble a whole herd ov deer.
A kangaroo's tail iz a living kuriosity; in its general habits it looks
and akts like a rat's tail, but in size you must multiply it by six
thousand and upwards.
What on arth a kangaroo wants so mutch tail for haz bothered the
philosophers for ages, and i understand, that lately, at one ov their
scientifick meetings they hav giv it up.
The philosophers git beat oftener than ennybody i kno ov, but they
seldom giv a thing up; but the kangaroo's tail waz too mutch for them.
But a kangaroo's tail don't bother me enny more than a kite's tail duz;
a bob-tailed kangaroo on the jump would akt just as a bob-tailed kite
duz in the air. Whenever i cum acrost ennything in natur that i kant
explain, then i kno at once that it iz all right for natur never made
enny blunders in the animals; if she has failed ennywhare, it iz in man.
Natur gav man reazon, and showed him how to use it, but man luvs to open
the throttle valve and let reazon hum. This ackounts for hiz running oph
from the track so often and gitting bust up. I never knu a kangaroo tew
bust up.