Of all the beasts who roam the hill tops, or clime the plains, thare is
none who makes so few blunders, and so many good hits as the fox.
His shewdness iz more than a match for the lion's strength, his logick
iz more than a match for the malice ov the wolf and hiz politeness and
defference makes him the fop and gentleman ov the forest.
The fox is a literary cuss; he haz been the hero ov history, fable, and
song, from the fust dawn ov oral or written knowledge. He waz a genius
long before ackedemick honors flourished; he waz a poet, skoller and
sage before the days ov Homer and Herodotus, and now, in our times, he
is the Ben Butler ov diplomacy an the Brigham Young ov matrimony.
The fox is purely a game bird. It costs on an average fifty dollars tew
ketch him, and when he iz caught he aint worth more than ten shillings.
He follers no regular bizzness for sustenance, but livs on the chances
and on hiz wit.
He iz a fleshy-minded sinner, and hiz blandness iz too mutch for the
quaintness ov the goose, the melankolly reserve ov the turkey, or the
pompous rhetorick ov the rooster. They all kneel tew the logick of hiz
tounge, and find themselfs at rest in his stummuk.
He luvs lam & green peas, but will diskount the peas rather than lose
hiz dinner, and will go a mile and a half out ov his way to be polite to
a duck or a goslin.
But the most lively trait in the fox iz his cunning; he alwas pettyfogs
hiz own case, and wins a great deal oftener than he loses.
Foxes are not like men, kritters ov habit; they never do a thing twice
with the same figures, and often alter their mind before they do a thing
once. This is the effect of too mutch genius.
There iz this difference between genius and common sense in a fox:
Common sense iz governed bi circumstances, but circumstances iz governed
by genius.
The fox haz no moral honesty, but he haz got a grate supply ov politikal
honesty. If another fox in his parish wants a phatt goose, he will work
hard and get the goose for him, and then clean the meat all oph from the
outskirts ov the goose for pettyfogging the case, and giv him the bones,
and tell hiz politikal friend, with a smile in the left corner of his
eye, that "everything is lovely and the goose hangs high."
[Illustration: A SLY FOX--THE MORE YOU PUT DOWN THE LESS YOU TAKE UP.]
Foxes have learnt this piety from watching the men git geese for each
other, and if animals don't want their piety tew git sour, they must
keep away from the men week days. The fox is tew mutch ov a pollytician
to invest his religion in enny sich indigenous trash. He knows that
sosiety haz claims on him, and are indebted tew him for sum goose, and
expekt to be for several more. This iz a nobel trait in the fox, and
shows that he aint a child ov ingratitude.
Foxes cum out ov the ground, but whether they are made out ov dirt i
kant sware with much certainty. They cum out ov the ground through the
instrumentality ov a hole, but whether the hole begins at the surface
and runs into the mountain, or whether it begins in the mountain and
runs tew the surface, don't make a kussid bit ov difference.
But philosophers hav argued about this hole bizzness for years. Sum ov
them say it runs in, and sum ov them be darned if it duz; and right here
we can see the amazing difference between the logick ov the philosophers
and the logick ov the fox. While they stand fiteing at the mouth ov the
hole, the fox iz stealing their ducks and goslins.
Foxes are like cunning men--they hav but few brains, and but a small
place tew keep them in, but what few they hav got are like angle worms
in hot water--full ov anxiety and mizery.
Cunning is a branding iron; the letters on it are small, but alwus
red-hot, and they read thus--Look out for the fox.