Dogs are gitting dredful skase, and if yu dont pik one out putty soon,
it will be forever too late.
I hav written during my yunger days, when I knu a good deal more than i
do now, or ever shal kno agin, an essa onto dogs, and in that essa i
klaimed that the best kind ov a dog for all purposes for a man tew hav
was a wodden dog.
The experience ov years don't seem tew change mi opinyun, and i now, az
then, reckomend the wodden dog.
Dogs, az a genral thing, are ornamental, and the wodden dog kan be made
hily so, after enny pattern or desighn that a kultivated taste may
suggest.
If the wodden dog iz made with the bark on, so mutch the better; for we
are told bi thoze who studdy sich things that dogs which bark never
bight.
Wodden dogs never stra away three or four times a year, like flesh and
blood dogs do, and don't kost 5 or 10 dollars reward each time tew make
them cam bak hum agin.
Wodden dogs don't hav the old hydrophobiskiousness; neither are they
running round, and round, and round, and round after them selfs, trieing
tew ketch up with a wicked flea, who iz bizzily engaged knawing away at
the dog's--continuashun.
Thare ain't no better watch dog in the world than the wodden one. Yu set
them tew watching enny thing, they will watch it for 3 years, and they
aint krazy, and want tew jump thru a window in a minnit, if they just
happen tew hear a boy out in the streets whissling "_Yankee Doodle_" or
"_Sally Cum Up_."
Wodden dogs won't stretch themselfs out in front ov the fire place,
taking up all the hot room, nor they won't fly at a harmless old beggar
man, who only wants a krust, and tare him all tew little bits in a
minnitt.
If yu want tew pik out a good dog, pik out a wodden one, they range in
price, all the way from 10 cents tew a dollar ackording tew the lumber
in them, old age don't make them kross and useless, and if they do
happen tew loze, a hed, or a leg, in sum skrimmage, a dose ov Spaldings
glu, taken at night, jist before they retire will fetch them out all
strait, in the morning.