Find a girl that iz 19 years old last May, about the right hight, with a
blue eye, and dark-brown hair and white teeth.
Let the girl be good to look at, not too phond of musik, a firm
disbeleaver in ghosts, and one ov six children in the same family.
Look well tew the karakter ov her father; see that he is not the member
ov enny klub, don't bet on elekshuns, and gits shaved at least 3 times a
week.
Find out all about her mother, see if she haz got a heap ov good common
sense, studdy well her likes and dislikes, eat sum ov her hum-made bread
and apple dumplins, notiss whether she abuzes all ov her nabors, and
don't fail tew observe whether her dresses are last year's ones fixt
over.
If you are satisfied that the mother would make the right kind ov a
mother-in-law, yu kan safely konklude that the dauter would make the
right kind of a wife.
After theze prelimenarys are all settled, and yu have done a reazonable
amount ov sparking, ask the yung lady for her heart and hand, and if she
refuses, yu kan konsider yourself euchered.
If on the contrary, she should say yes, git married at once, without any
fuss and feathers, and proceed to take the chances.
[Illustration]
I say take the chances, for thare aint no resipee for a perfekt wife,
enny more than thare iz for a perfekt husband.
Thare iz just az menny good wifes az thare iz good husbands, and i never
knew two people, married or single, who were determined tew make
themselfs agreeable to each other, but what they suckceeded.
Name yure oldest boy sum good stout name, not after sum hero, but should
the first boy be a girl, i ask it az a favour to me that yu kaul her
Rebekker.
I do want sum ov them good, old-fashioned, tuff girl names revived and
extended.