_A Pathetic_ (_L. C. C._) _Ballad._
[See recent controversy between Mr. BENN and Lord JAMES in the
_Times_.]
BENN, an L. C. C. fighter bold,
Was used to war's alarms;
And when JIM knocked him off his legs,
He wouldn't lay down his arms.
He cried. "I will not quit the field,
Though HEREFORD JIM may shoot;
And though to stand on I've no leg,
I will not budge a foot!"
Now HEREFORD JIM, a gunner smart,
Riddled BENN fore and aft.
Cried BENN, "Although my decks he's swept,
He has not sunk my _craft_."
Says JIM, "Those shanks are not live limbs,
They're only party pegs!
You have as wooden members quite,
As represent your legs!"
"Alive--and kicking, still am I!"
Says BENN, with huge elation;
"But if you think my legs are dead,
Let's have--an arbitration!"
Says JIM, "They are mere timber-toes,
Though as live limbs you sport 'em,
Though arbitrators have their use,
They do not sit _post-mortem!_
"A coroner sits on a _corpse_,
To find out how he died."
The _Times_ then "sat on" BENN, and found
A _mis_take in his inside.
* * * * *
THE "RUBBER INDUSTRY."--Evidently whist.
* * * * *