AESCHYLUS. With only one. You make verses of such a kind, that one can
adapt what one will to your iambics: a little bit of fluff, a little
bottle, a little bag. I am going to prove it.
EURIPIDES. You will prove it?
AESCHYLUS. Yes.
DIONYSUS. Come, recite.
EURIPIDES. "Aegyptus, according to the most widely spread reports, having
landed at Argos with his fifty daughters[507] ..."
AESCHYLUS. ... lost his little bottle.
EURIPIDES. What little bottle? May the plague seize you!
DIONYSUS. Recite another prologue to him. We shall see.
EURIPIDES. "Dionysus, who leads the choral dance on Parnassus with the
thyrsus in his hand and clothed in skins of fawns[508] ..."
AESCHYLUS. ... lost his little bottle.
DIONYSUS. There again his little bottle upsets us.
EURIPIDES. He won't bother us much longer. I have a certain prologue to
which he cannot adapt his tag: "There is no perfect happiness; this one
is of noble origin, but poor; another of humble birth[509] ..."
AESCHYLUS. ... lost his little bottle.
DIONYSUS. Euripides!
EURIPIDES. What's the matter?
DIONYSUS. Clue up your sails, for this damned little bottle is going to
blow a gale.
EURIPIDES. Little I care, by Demeter! I am going to make it burst in his
hands.
DIONYSUS. Then out with it; recite another prologue, but beware, beware
of the little bottle.
EURIPIDES. "Cadmus, the son of Agenor, while leaving the city of
Sidon[510] ..."
AESCHYLUS. ... lost his little bottle.
DIONYSUS. Oh! my poor friend; buy that bottle, do, for it is going to
tear all your prologues to ribbons.
EURIPIDES. What? Am I to buy it of him?
DIONYSUS. If you take my advice.
EURIPIDES. No, not I, for I have many prologues to which he cannot
possibly fit his catchword: "Pelops, the son of Tantalus, having started
for Pisa on his swift chariot[511] ..."
AESCHYLUS. ... lost his little bottle.
DIONYSUS. D'ye see? Again he has popped in his little bottle. Come,
Aeschylus, he is going to buy it of you at any price, and you can have a
splendid one for an obolus.
EURIPIDES. By Zeus, no, not yet! I have plenty of other prologues.
"Oeneus in the fields one day[512] ..."
AESCHYLUS. ... lost his little bottle.
EURIPIDES. Let me first finish the opening verse: "Oeneus in the fields
one day, having made an abundant harvest and sacrificed the first-fruits
to the gods ..."
AESCHYLUS. ... lost his little bottle.
DIONYSUS. During the sacrifice? And who was the thief?
EURIPIDES. Allow him to try with this one: "Zeus, as even Truth has
said[513] ..."
DIONYSUS (_to Euripides_). You have lost again; he is going to say, "lost
his little bottle," for that bottle sticks to your prologues like a
ringworm. But, in the name of the gods, turn now to his choruses.
EURIPIDES. I will prove that he knows nothing of lyric poetry, and that
he repeats himself incessantly.
CHORUS. What's he going to say now? I am itching to know what criticisms
he is going to make on the poet, whose sublime songs so far outclass
those of his contemporaries. I cannot imagine with what he is going to
reproach the king of the Dionysia, and I tremble for the aggressor.
EURIPIDES. Oh! those wonderful songs! But watch carefully, for I am going
to condense them all into a single one.
DIONYSUS. And I am going to take pebbles to count the fragments.
EURIPIDES. "Oh, Achilles, King of Phthiotis, hearken to the shout of the
conquering foe and haste to sustain the assault. We dwellers in the
marshes do honour to Hermes, the author of our race. Haste to sustain the
assault."
DIONYSUS. There, Aeschylus, you have already two assaults against you.
EURIPIDES. "Oh, son of Atreus, the most illustrious of the Greeks, thou,
who rulest so many nations, hearken to me. Haste to the assault."
DIONYSUS. A third assault. Beware, Aeschylus.
EURIPIDES. "Keep silent, for the inspired priestesses are opening the
temple of Artemis. Haste to sustain the assault. I have the right to
proclaim that our warriors are leaving under propitious auspices. Haste
to sustain the assault."[514]
DIONYSUS. Great gods, what a number of assaults! my kidneys are quite
swollen with fatigue; I shall have to go to the bath after all these
assaults.
EURIPIDES. Not before you have heard this other song arranged for the
music of the cithara.