with his fist, and at the same time said, “Is it thus then,
rascal, that you make us eat human flesh?” The old man also, who
had not left them, immediately gave him another blow, that knocked
out one of his eyes. Every one, who could get near him, was not
deficient in beating him. Nor were they satisfied with ill-treating
him in this manner; they conducted him before the judge of the
police, before whom they produced the pretended carcase, which they
had taken down and brought with them, as a proof of the accused
person’s guilt. “My lord,” said the old magician to him,
“you see before you a man, who is so barbarous as to kill men, and
sell their flesh for that of sheep. The public expect that you will
punish him in an exemplary manner.” The judge of the police
attended to what my brother had to say with great patience, but the
story of the money, changed into leaves, appeared so little worthy
of belief, that he treated my brother as an impostor; and choosing
to give credit to his own eyes, he ordered him to receive five
hundred blows. After this, having obliged him to discover where his
money was, he took the whole of it from him, and condemned him to
perpetual banishment, after having exposed him for three successive
days, mounted on a camel, to all the city.
At the time that this dreadful adventure happened to Alcouz, my
fourth brother, I was absent from Bagdad. He retired to a very
obscure part, where he remained concealed till the wounds his
punishment produced, were healed. It was chiefly on the back that he
had been so beaten. As soon as he was able to walk he travelled,
during the night and through unfrequented roads, to a city where he
was known to no one! there he took a lodging, from whence he hardly
ever stirred. Tired, however, at last of living so recluse a life,
he one day went to walk in the suburbs of the town, when he suddenly
heard a great noise of horsemen coming along behind him. He happened
just at this instant to be near the door of a large house; and as he
was apprehensive of every body, after what had passed, he fancied
that these horsemen were in pursuit of him in order to arrest him.
He therefore opened the door for the purpose of concealing himself.
After having shut it again, he went into a large court, where he had
no sooner appeared than two domestics came up to him and seized him
by the collar, saying, “God be praised that you have come of your
own free will, to give yourself up. You have disturbed us so much
for these last three nights, we have been unable to sleep; and you
have spared our lives only because we have prevented your base
intention of taking them.”
You may easily imagine that my brother was not a little surprised at
this sort of welcome. “My good friends,” said he to them, “I
really know not what you wish of me; you without doubt take me for
another person.”--“No, no,” replied they, “we are not
ignorant that you and your comrades are free-booters. You were not
satisfied with having robbed our master of all he possessed, and
reducing him to beggary, but even wished to take his life. Let us
see if you have not the knife about you, which you had in your hand
when we pursued you last night.” Having said this, they began to
search him, and perceived that he had a knife. “So, so,” cried
they in taking it, “and have you the assurance still to deny that
you are a robber?”--“What,” then answered my brother,
“cannot a man carry a knife in his pocket, without being a thief?
Listen to my story,” added he, “and instead of having a bad
opinion of me, you will even be affected at my misfortunes.” So
far, however, were they from listening to it, that they immediately
fell upon him, trod upon him, pulled off his clothes, tore his
shirt; and then observing the scars upon his back, “Ah, rascal,”
they cried, redoubling their blows, “do you wish to make us
believe you are an honest man, when your back is so covered with
scars?”--“Alas,” cried my brother, “my sins must be very
great, since, after having been once before so unjustly treated, I
am served so a second time without being the least culpable.”
The two servants paid no attention to my brother’s complaints; but
carried him before the judge of the police. “How dare you,” said
the judge, “break into people’s houses, and pursue them with a
knife in your hand?”--“My lord,” answered poor Alcouz, “I am
one of the most innocent men in the world. I shall be undone, if you
will not do me the favour patiently to listen to me. No person is
more worthy of compassion than I am.”--“Sir,” cried one of the
domestics at this instant, “will you listen for a moment to a
robber, who breaks into people’s houses, pillages them, and
murders the inhabitants? If you refuse to give us credit, look at
his back, and that will prove enough.” When he had said this, they
uncovered my brother’s back, and showed it to the judge, who
immediately ordered him to receive upon the spot a hundred strokes,
with a leathern strap, on his shoulders, without inquiring any
farther into the matter: he then commanded him to be led through the
city upon a camel, with a crier going before him, calling out,
“this is the way they punish those who forcibly break into
houses.”
When this ceremony was over, they set him down without the town, and
forbad him ever to enter it again. Some people, who accidentally met
him after this second disgraceful event, informed me where he was. I
directly set out to find him, and then brought him secretly to
Bagdad, where I did every thing, as far as I was able, to assist him.
The caliph Mostanser Billah (continued the barber), did not laugh so
much at this history as at the others; for he had the goodness of
heart to commiserate the unfortunate Alcouz. He then wished to give
me something, and send me away; but without giving them time to obey
his orders, I said, “You may now have observed, most sovereign
lord and master, that I speak very little. Since your majesty has
had the goodness to listen to me thus far, and as you express a wish
to hear the adventures of my two other brothers, I hope and trust
they will not afford you less amusement than what you have already
heard. You may then make a most complete history of them, which will
not be unworthy of being placed amongst your archives.”
THE HISTORY
OF THE BARBER’S FIFTH BROTHER.
I have the honour to inform you, that the name of my fifth brother
was Alnaschar, who, while he lived with my father, was excessively
idle: instead of working for his bread, he was not ashamed of
demanding sufficient for his support every evening, and to live upon
it the next day. Our father at last died at a very advanced period
of life, and all he left us consisted of seven hundred drachms of
silver. We divided it equally among us, and each took one hundred
for his share. Alnaschar, who had never before been in possession of
so much money at a time, found himself very much embarrassed with
the disposal of it. He debated a long time in his own mind on this
subject, and at last determined to lay it out in the purchase of
glasses, bottles, and other glass articles, which he went to get at
a large wholesale merchant’s. He put the whole of his stock into
an open basket, and fixed upon a very small shop, where he sat down
with the basket before him; and, leaning his back against the wall,
waited for customers to buy his merchandise.
While he was remaining in this attitude, with his eyes fixed upon
his basket, he began to meditate; and in the midst of his reverie,
he pronounced the following speech sufficiently loud for a tailor,
who was his neighbour, to hear him. “This basket,” said he,
“cost me one hundred drachms, and that is all I am worth in the
world. In selling its contents by retail, I shall do well in making
two hundred drachms: and of these two hundred which I shall employ
again in glass ware, I shall make four hundred drachms. By
continuing this traffic, I shall, in process of time, amass the sum
of four thousand drachms. With these four thousand, I shall easily
make eight. And as soon as I am worth ten thousand, I will leave off
selling glass ware and turn jeweller. I will then deal in diamonds,
pearls, and all sorts of precious stones. When I shall be in
possession of as much wealth as I wish, I will purchase a beautiful
house, large estates, eunuchs, slaves, and horses. I will entertain
handsomely and largely, and shall make some noise in the world. I
will make all the musicians and dancers, both male and female, who
live in the city, come to my house. Nor will I remain satisfied,
till I have realized, if it shall please God, one hundred thousand
drachms. And when I shall become thus rich, I shall think myself
equal to a prince; and I will send and demand the daughter of the
grand vizier in marriage, and represent to him that I have heard
most astonishing reports of the beauty, wisdom, wit, and every other
good quality of his daughter: and in short, that I will bestow upon
her, the very night of our nuptials, a thousand pieces of gold. If
the vizier should be so ill-bred as to refuse me his daughter,
though I know that will not be the case, I will go and take her away
before his face, and bring her home in spite of him.
As soon as I shall have married the grand vizier’s daughter, I
will purchase ten very young and well-made black eunuchs for her. I
will dress myself like a prince; and will parade through the town,
mounted on a fine horse, the saddle of which shall be of pure gold,
and the caparisons of gold stuff, relieved with diamonds and pearls.
I will be accompanied by slaves, who shall go both before and behind
me, and will thus proceed to the palace of the vizier, with the eyes
of all fixed upon me, both nobles and others, who will make me the
most profound reverence as I go along. When I shall have dismounted
at the grand vizier’s, and come to the bottom of the staircase, I
will ascend between my people, ranged in two rows to the right and
left; and the grand vizier, in receiving me for his son-in-law,
shall give me his place, and seat himself before me, in order to
show me the more respect. If all this should happen, as I hope it
will, two of my men shall have a purse, each containing one thousand
pieces of gold, which I had ordered them to bring. I will then take
one of them, and in presenting it to the grand vizier will say,
“Behold the thousand pieces of gold, which I have promised you on
the first night of my marriage.” Then offering him the other, I
will add, “This is not all; to show you that I am a man of my
word, and to prove that I give you more than I promise, receive this
other purse of equal value.” After such an act as this, my
generosity will be the conversation of all the world.
I will then return home with the same pomp. My wife shall send some
officer to compliment me on my visit to her father. I will bestow a
beautiful robe of honor on the officer, and send him back with a
rich present. If in return she shall wish to make me a present, I
will refuse it; and dismiss the person who brings it. I will not,
moreover, permit her to leave her apartments upon any account
whatever, without first consulting me; and, whenever I wish to go to
her, it shall always be in a way that shall impress her with the
greatest respect for me. In short, no house shall be so well
regulated as mine. I will always appear magnificently dressed; and,
whenever I wish to pass the evening with her, I will sit in the most
honorable seat, where I will affect a grave and solemn air; nor will
I turn my head to the right or left. I will speak but little: and
while my wife, beautiful as the moon at the full, presents herself
before me in all her splendor, I will pretend not to see her. Her
women, who will be standing round her, shall say, “My dear lord
and master, behold your spouse, the humblest of your slaves, before
you. She is waiting for you to caress her; and is much mortified
that you do not deign to take the least notice of her. She is
greatly fatigued at standing thus long before you; at least, then,
give her leave to sit down.” I will not answer a word to this
speech, at which their surprise and grief would be much augmented.
They will then throw themselves at my feet; and after they shall
have remained there a considerable time, entreating and begging me
to yield to them, I will at last lift up my head, and casting upon
her a sort of negligent unmeaning glance, will then return to my
former state. Thinking, perhaps, that my wife may not either be well
or properly dressed, they will lead her back to her room, in order
to change her habit; and, in the mean time, I will return to my
apartment and put on a more magnificent dress than I had before.
They will then return a second time; will address the same speech;
and I shall again have the pleasure of not looking at my wife, till
they shall have prayed and entreated me as long and earnestly as
before. And I will thus begin, on the very first day of my marriage,
to teach her how she may expect to be treated, during the remainder
of her life.
After the various ceremonies of our nuptials are over, continued
Alnaschar, I will take a purse from the hands of one of the
attendants, containing five hundred pieces of gold, which I will
give to the female attendants, that they may leave me alone with my
spouse. As soon as they shall have retired, my wife shall go to bed
first. I will immediately follow her, and will be the whole night
with my back turned towards her, and will not utter a single
syllable. The next morning she will not fail to complain to her
mother, the lady of the grand vizier, of my pride and neglect; and
this will very much delight me. Her mother will then come to see me,
and out of respect take and kiss my hands, and say to me, “My
lord,” for she will not dare to call me son-in-law, through fear
of displeasing me, by speaking with so much familiarity, “I
entreat you, my lord, not to despise my child in such a manner, nor
keep her at such a distance; I assure you she will always endeavor
to please you, and I know her whole heart is devoted to you.”
Although my mother-in-law shall address me so respectfully and
kindly, I will not answer her a word, but remain as grave and solemn
as ever. She will then throw herself at my feet, and after kissing
them many times, will say, “My lord, is it possible you suspect
the prudence of my daughter; I assure you, I have never suffered her
to go out of my sight; and you are the first man who has ever seen
her face. Forbear to inflict so great a mortification upon her, and
do her the favor to look at and speak to her; and thus strengthen
her good intention of endeavoring to satisfy and please you in every
thing.”
All this shall have no effect upon me; which my mother-in-law
observing, she will then take a glass of wine, and putting it into
my wife’s hand, will say, “Go, and present him this glass of
wine yourself; he will not, perhaps, have the cruelty to refuse it
from so beautiful a hand.” My wife will then take the glass, and
stand up before me, trembling all the time. When she observes that I
do not incline myself towards her, and that I persist in taking not
the least notice of her, she will address me, with her eyes bathed
in tears, in these words; “My heart, my dear soul, my amiable
lord, I conjure you, by the favors which heaven has so plentifully
bestowed upon you, to have the goodness to take this glass of wine
from the hand of the humblest of your slaves.” I shall, however,
take care neither to look at, nor speak to her. “My charming
husband,” will she continue to say, redoubling her tears, and
carrying the glass of wine close to my mouth, “I will not cease
entreating you till I obtain the favor of your drinking it.” At
last, tired and worn out with her solicitations and prayers, I will
throw a most terrible glance at her, and will give her a good blow
on her cheek, at the same time pushing her so violently from me with
my foot, that she shall fall down at the bottom of the sofa.
My brother was so entirely absorbed in these chimerical visions,
that he represented the action with his foot, as if it were a
reality; and he unfortunately struck his basket of glass ware so
violently, that he sent it from one end of his shop into the street,
where it was all broken to pieces.
His neighbour, the tailor, who had heard the whole of his
extravagant speech, burst out into a fit of laughter when he saw the
basket overturned. “Oh, you cruel wretch!” said he to my
brother, “ought you not expire with shame at ill-treating a young
wife in such a manner, when she has given you no reason for
complaint? You must be hard-hearted indeed to pay no attention to
the tears, and be insensible to the charms, of so amiable a lady. If
I were in the place of your father-in-law, the grand vizier, I would
order you a hundred strokes with a leathern strap, and send you
round the city, with the praise you so well merit.”
This most unfortunate accident brought my brother to his senses, and
knowing that it was his own insupportable pride that had caused it,
he beat his breast, tore his garments, and sobbed so violently and
loud, that all the neighbourhood soon assembled; and the people who
were going by to mid-day prayers, stopped to inquire the cause of
all this bustle: and, as this happened to be on a Friday, there were
more people than usual. Some pitied Alnaschar, others laughed at his
folly. The vanity, however, which he had before possessed, was now
entirely annihilated, as well as his property; and he continued
weeping at his hard and cruel fate, when a lady of considerable
consequence passed by, mounted on a mule very richly caparisoned.
The state in which she saw my brother excited her compassion. She
asked who he was, and the reason of his crying so violently. They
only said, that he was a poor man who had laid out the little money
he possessed in a basket of glass ware; and that the basket had
fallen down, and all his glass was broken. The lady immediately
turned to a eunuch who accompanied her, and ordered him to give my
brother what money he had with him. The eunuch obeyed, and put a
purse, containing five hundred pieces of gold, into my brother’s
hand. Alnaschar was ready to expire with joy at sight of it. He
bestowed a thousand blessings on the lady; and after shutting up his
shop, where it was now useless for him to stay, he went home.
He made many serious reflections on the good fortune which had so
unexpectedly happened to him; and while he was thus employed, he
heard some person knock at his door. Before he opened it, he asked
who was there; and perceiving it was a female voice, he opened it.
“My son,” said she, addressing my brother, “I have a favor to
request of you. It is now the time for prayers, and I wish to wash
myself, in order to be fit to offer them. Suffer me I entreat you,
to come into your house, and afford me a bason of water.” My
brother looked at her, and saw she was rather advanced in years; and
although he did not know her, he nevertheless acceded to what she
wished. He gave her a vessel full of water, and then resumed his
seat. He was again quite absorbed with his adventure; he took his
gold and put it into a sort of long and narrow purse, adapted to the
purpose of carrying it at his girdle. The old woman, in the mean
time, said her prayers; and when she had finished, she approached my
brother, and prostrated herself twice at his feet, so low, that her
forehead touched the ground, as if she was praying to God; then
getting up, she wished my brother all manner of prosperity, and
thanked him for his kindness.
As she was but very meanly dressed, and humbled herself so much
before him, he thought that she meant to ask charity, and he offered
her, therefore, two pieces of gold. The old woman drew back with as
much surprise as if my brother had done her an injury. “Good
God,” cried she, “what do you mean by this? Is it possible, sir,
that you can take me for one of those poor wretches who make a
practice of impudently going into people’s houses and demanding
charity? Put back your money, for I have no necessity for it, God be
praised. I belong to a young lady in this city of most incomparable
beauty, and so rich, that she does not let me want for any thing.”
My brother was not cunning enough to perceive the address of the old
woman, who refused the two pieces of gold only to dupe him the more.
He asked her, if she could not procure him the honor of seeing this
lady. “Certainly,” answered she, “and you may even easily be
able to marry her; and, in becoming master of her person, you will
get possession of all her fortune: take your money and follow me.
Delighted with having so unexpectedly received such a large sum of
money, and of finding, almost immediately after, a beautiful and
rich wife, he lost all recollection of every thing else. He took the
five hundred pieces of gold, and suffered the old woman to conduct
him.
She went on before, and he followed her till they came to the door
of a large house, at which she knocked. He came up to her just as a
young female Greek slave opened the door. The old woman made him go
in first; he passed through a well paved court, and she then
introduced him into a hall, the furniture of which confirmed him in
the high opinion he had conceived of the mistress of the house.
While the old woman went to inform the young lady of his arrival, he
sat down; and as it was rather warm, he took off his turban, and
laid it by the side of him. The lady of the house immediately made
her appearance, and he was much more struck with her beauty than
with the magnificence and richness of her dress. He rose up the
moment he perceived her. The lady requested him, with a pleasing
air, to resume his place, and seated herself by his side. She
expressed great joy at seeing him: and, after some kind compliments,
she said to him, “We are not here sufficiently at our ease; come,
give me your hand.” At the same instant holding out her own, she
led him to a distant apartment, where they remained some time in
conversation; she then left him with a promise of returning in a few
moments. He waited some time, when, instead of the lady, a large
black slave entered, with a scimitar in his hand, and casting a most
terrible look at my brother, “What business have you here?” he
cried, in a haughty tone. At this sight, Alnaschar was seized with
so violent a fright, he could not make any answer. The black
immediately stripped him, took away his gold, and wounded him with
his scimitar in several parts of his flesh. The poor unfortunate man
fell down on the ground, where he remained without motion, though he
did not lose his senses. The black slave, thinking he had killed
him, asked for some salt, of which the Greek slave brought him a
large dish. They then rubbed it over my brother’s wounds, and
although the pain he felt was almost intolerable, he had the
presence of mind to show no signs of life. The black slave and the
young Greek now went away, and the old woman, who had caught my
brother in this snare, came and took him by the legs and drew him
towards a trap-door, which she opened. She then threw him in, and he
perceived that he was in a subterraneous place, in which there were
the bodies of different people who had been murdered. It was some
time, however, before he knew this, as the violence of the fall had
stunned him, and took away his senses. The salt with which his
wounds had been rubbed, was what preserved his life; he soon after
felt himself sufficiently strong to sit up; and at the end of two
days he opened the trap-door in the night, and observing a place in
a court, in which he could conceal himself, he remained there till
day-break. He then saw the detestable old woman come out; she opened
the street-door, and went in search of more prey. As soon as she was
gone too far to observe him, he let himself out of this cut-throat
house and fled to mine. He then informed me of the numerous
adventures he had encountered in so short a space of time.
At the end of a month he was quite cured of his wounds, by means of
the infallible remedies I made him apply. He then resolved to
revenge himself on the old woman who had so cruelly deceived him.
For this purpose, he took a purse large enough to hold five hundred
pieces of money, but instead of gold, he filled it with bits of
glass.