Lord BIRKENHEAD (not BROKENHEAD, by the way, as the _Cork Constitution_,
inadvertently or not, calls him) chaffed LORD HALDANE on his "How Happy
could I be with Either" attitude between Liberalism and Labour, and advised
him definitely to be off with the old love and on with the new, in order
that when Labour came into its own the Woolsack might be adequately filled.
Sir ALFRED MOND did not allow himself to be perturbed by the description of
certain pictures in the Imperial War Museum as "freaks" and "libels," for
he had observed "with some astonishment" that most of the art critics had
pronounced them to be very fine works of art. But when Mr. JEREMIAH
MACVEAGH asked if some of these pictures were not portraits of Cabinet
Ministers, "and if so how can they possibly be works of art?" the First
Commissioner's artistic conscience was stirred, and compelled him to give
the questioner a little instruction in first principles. "Whether a
portrait is a work of art depends," he pointed out, "on the artist and not
on the subject painted."
The evening was devoted to drink. Sir JOHN REES, who urged the abolition of
all wartime restrictions, would have been more effective, perhaps, if he
had not striven so hard to be lively. One of his sallies, evoked by the
impending _début_ of Lady ASTOR as a Parliamentary orator, was indeed, as
she observed, "more than polite."
She herself had her moments of gaiety, but was best, I thought, when
seriously arguing for the continuance of the restrictions on alcohol in the
special interests of women.
I am afraid, however, that the unregenerate were more intrigued by Mr.
CARR'S claim that the Carlisle experiment had been a great success--"it was
the only city in the country in which a man could buy a bottle of whisky to
take home."
_Wednesday, February 25th._--Question-time in the Commons was dominated by
the news that Mr. ASQUITH was in for Paisley, and Members were more
concerned in discussing the effect of his return upon the Government and
Opposition than in listening to Ministerial replies. Sir DONALD MACLEAN was
"all smiles" over his approaching release from the responsibilities of
leadership; but Mr. HOGGE, I thought, looked rather like _Mrs. Gummidge_
when "thinking of the old 'un."
A nod from Mr. MACPHERSON and the Government of Ireland Bill was formally
and silently introduced--strange contrast to the long debates and exciting
scenes that attended the birth of the Bill's three predecessors in 1886,
1893 and 1912.
Sir ROBERT HORNE explained with his usual clarity and persuasiveness the
new Unemployment Insurance Bill. The debate on it was interrupted to allow
the discussion of a motion by Sir J. REMNANT advocating the increase of
police pensions to meet the present cost of living. The police are, with
good reason, very popular with the House. In vain the HOME SECRETARY
pointed out that the Government even in this cause did not feel justified
in "out-running the constable." Forgetting all their recent zeal for
economy Members trooped into the Bobbies' Lobby and beat the Government by
123 to 57.
[Illustration: "Whether a portrait is a work of art depends on the artist
and not on the subject painted."--_Sir A. MOND on the Imperial War Museum
Pictures_.]
The idea that Irishmen, however much they may dislike British rule, never
miss an opportunity of raiding the British Treasury, has received a rude
shock. Captain REDMOND, inquiring about the allocation of a sum of a
quarter-of-a-million for reconstruction in Ireland, was surprised to learn
that ten thousand pounds had been allotted to his own constituency, but not
claimed. Mr. DEVLIN supplied the key to the mystery: "The reason it was not
asked for was because we did not know it was there."
I learn from _Who's Who?_ that the recreations of Sir ALFRED MOND include
"golf, motoring and all forms of sport." It must have been with keen
regret, therefore, that he felt himself compelled to refuse facilities for
cricket in Hyde Park, owing to the risk to the public. Viscount CURZON
asked if cricket was more dangerous than inflammatory speeches. But the
FIRST COMMISSIONER, speaking no doubt from personal experience, expressed
the view that there was considerably more danger from a cricket-ball.
The Opposition had rather bad luck on the Constantinople debate. If they
had waited till Monday, as originally arranged, they could have trained
their big gun from Paisley on to the Government entrenchments. Through
insisting on the earliest possible date, they had to content themselves
with the far lighter artillery of Sir DONALD MACLEAN. Much, however, was
hoped from Lord ROBERT CECIL, who was believed to be heavily charged with
high explosives. But before he could come into range up jumped Sir EDWARD
CARSON, and in a few brief sentences pointed out that until the PRIME
MINISTER had told them the grounds for the decision to leave the Turk his
capital, and the conditions under which he was to stay there, the House was
talking in the air. Members thereupon clamoured for the PRIME MINISTER, who
accordingly had to make his defence when he had heard only half the
indictment, and to expend most of the ammunition he had prepared for Lord
ROBERT, including some remarkable specimens of the "deadly parallel,"
before receiving his adversary's fire.
That in turn rather upset Lord ROBERT'S plan of campaign, and he was not
much more destructive than Sir DONALD MACLEAN had been. The House as a
whole seemed satisfied that the Allies had done their best with a problem
for which there is no perfect solution, and that there was at least a
chance that the SULTAN would find the guns of an international fleet
pointing at his palace windows a strong incentive to good behaviour.
* * * * *