At the time my magnanimous brother Charles reigned over France, and
some few years after our return from the grand progress mentioned in
my last letter, the Huguenots having renewed the war, a gentleman,
despatched from my brother Anjou (afterwards Henri III. of France),
came to Paris to inform the King and the Queen my mother that
the Huguenot army was reduced to such an extremity that he hoped
in a few days to force them to give him battle. He added his
earnest wish for the honour of seeing them at Tours before that
happened, so that, in case Fortune, envying him the glory he
had already achieved at so early an age, should, on the so much
looked-for day, after the good service he had done his religion
and his King, crown the victory with his death, he might not have
cause to regret leaving this world without the satisfaction of
receiving their approbation of his conduct from their own mouths,--a
satisfaction which would be more valuable, in his opinion, than
the trophies he had gained by his two former victories.
I leave to your own imagination to suggest to you the impression
which such a message from a dearly beloved son made on the mind
of a mother who doted on all her children, and was always ready to
sacrifice her own repose, nay, even her life, for their happiness.
She resolved immediately to set off and take the King with her.
She had, besides myself, her usual small company of female
attendants, together with Mesdames de Rais and de Sauves. She
flew on the wings of maternal affection, and reached Tours in
three days and a half. A journey from Paris, made with such
precipitation, was not unattended with accidents and some
inconveniences, of a nature to occasion much mirth and laughter.
The poor Cardinal de Bourbon, who never quitted her, and whose
temper of mind, strength of body, and habits of life were ill
suited to encounter privations and hardships, suffered greatly
from this rapid journey.
We found my brother Anjou at Plessis-les-Tours, with the principal
officers of his army, who were the flower of the princes and
nobles of France. In their presence he delivered a harangue to
the King, giving a detail of his conduct in the execution of his
charge, beginning from the time he left the Court. His discourse
was framed with so much eloquence, and spoken so gracefully, that
it was admired by all present. It appeared matter of astonishment
that a youth of sixteen should reason with all the gravity and
powers of an orator of ripe years. The comeliness of his person,
which at all times pleads powerfully in favour of a speaker,
was in him set off by the laurels obtained in two victories. In
short, it was difficult to say which most contributed to make
him the admiration of all his hearers.
It is equally as impossible for me to describe in words the feelings
of my mother on this occasion, who loved him above all her children,
as it was for the painter to represent on canvas the grief of
Iphigenia's father. Such an overflow of joy would have been
discoverable in the looks and actions of any other woman, but
she had her passions so much under the control of prudence and
discretion that there was nothing to be perceived in her countenance,
or gathered from her words, of what she felt inwardly in her mind.
She was, indeed, a perfect mistress of herself, and regulated
her discourse and her actions by the rules of wisdom and sound
policy, showing that a person of discretion does upon all occasions
only what is proper to be done. She did not amuse herself on
this occasion with listening to the praises which issued from
every mouth, and sanction them with her own approbation; but,
selecting the chief points in the speech relative to the future
conduct of the war, she laid them before the Princes and great
lords, to be deliberated upon, in order to settle a plan of
operations.
To arrange such a plan a delay of some days was requisite. During
this interval, the Queen my mother walking in the park with some
of the Princes, my brother Anjou begged me to take a turn or two
with him in a retired walk. He then addressed me in the following
words: "Dear sister, the nearness of blood; as well as our having
been brought up together, naturally, as they ought, attach us
to each other. You must already have discovered the partiality
I have had for you above my brothers, and I think that I have
perceived the same in you for me. We have been hitherto led to
this by nature, without deriving any other advantage from it
than the sole pleasure of conversing together. So far might be
well enough for our childhood, but now we are no longer children.
You know the high situation in which, by the favour of God and
our good mother the Queen, I am here placed. You may be assured
that, as you are the person in the world whom I love and esteem
the most, you will always be a partaker of my advancement. I know
you are not wanting in wit and discretion, and I am sensible
you have it in your power to do me service with the Queen our
mother, and preserve me in my present employments. It is a great
point obtained for me, always to stand well in her favour. I
am fearful that my absence may be prejudicial to that purpose,
and I must necessarily be at a distance from Court. Whilst I am
away, the King my brother is with her, and has it in his power
to insinuate himself into her good graces. This I fear, in the
end, may be of disservice to me. The King my brother is growing
older every day. He does not want for courage, and, though he now
diverts himself with hunting, he may grow ambitious, and choose
rather to chase men than beasts; in such a case I must resign to
him my commission as his lieutenant. This would prove the greatest
mortification that could happen to me, and I would even prefer death
to it. Under such an apprehension I have considered of the means
of prevention, and see none so feasible as having a confidential
person about the Queen my mother, who shall always be ready to
espouse and support my cause. I know no one so proper for that
purpose as yourself, who will be, I doubt not, as attentive to
my interest as I should be myself. You have wit, discretion, and
fidelity, which are all that are wanting, provided you will be
so kind as to undertake such a good office. In that case I shall
have only to beg of you not to neglect attending her morning and
evening, to be the first with her and the last to leave her.
This will induce her to repose a confidence and open her mind to
you. To make her the more ready to do this, I shall take every
opportunity to commend your good sense and understanding, and to
tell her that I shall take it kind in her to leave off treating
you as a child, which, I shall say, will contribute to her own
comfort and satisfaction. I am well convinced that she will listen
to my advice. Do you speak to her with the same confidence as
you do to me, and be assured that she will approve of it. It
will conduce to your own happiness to obtain her favour. You may
do yourself service whilst you are labouring for my interest;
and you may rest satisfied that, after God, I shall think I owe
all the good fortune which may befall me to yourself."
This was entirely a new kind of language to me. I had hitherto
thought of nothing but amusements, of dancing, hunting, and the
like diversions; nay, I had never yet discovered any inclination
of setting myself off to advantage by dress, and exciting an
admiration of my person and figure. I had no ambition of any
kind, and had been so strictly brought up under the Queen my
mother that I scarcely durst speak before her; and if she chanced
to turn her eyes towards me I trembled, for fear that I had done
something to displease her. At the conclusion of my brother's
harangue, I was half inclined to reply to him in the words of
Moses, when he was spoken to from the burning bush: "Who am I,
that I should go unto Pharaoh? Send, I pray thee, by the hand
of him whom thou wilt send."
However, his words inspired me with resolution and powers I did
not think myself possessed of before. I had naturally a degree
of courage, and, as soon as I recovered from my astonishment, I
found I was quite an altered person. His address pleased me, and
wrought in me a confidence in myself; and I found I was become of
more consequence than I had ever conceived I had been. Accordingly,
I replied to him thus: "Brother, if God grant me the power of
speaking to the Queen our mother as I have the will to do, nothing
can be wanting for your service, and you may expect to derive all
the good you hope from it, and from my solicitude and attention
for your interest. With respect to my undertaking such a matter
for you, you will soon perceive that I shall sacrifice all the
pleasures in this world to my watchfulness for your service. You
may perfectly rely on me, as there is no one that honours or
regards you more than I do. Be well assured that I shall act
for you with the Queen my mother as zealously as you would for
yourself."
These sentiments were more strongly impressed upon my mind than
the words I made use of were capable of conveying an idea of.
This will appear more fully in my following letters.
As soon as we were returned from walking, the Queen my mother
retired with me into her closet, and addressed the following
words to me: "Your brother has been relating the conversation
you have had together; he considers you no longer as a child,
neither shall I. It will be a great comfort to me to converse
with you as I would with your brother. For the future you will
freely speak your mind, and have no apprehensions of taking too
great a liberty, for it is what I wish." These words gave me
a pleasure then which I am now unable to express. I felt a
satisfaction and a joy which nothing before had ever caused me
to feel. I now considered the pastimes of my childhood as vain
amusements. I shunned the society of my former companions of
the same age. I disliked dancing and hunting, which I thought
beneath my attention. I strictly complied with her agreeable
injunction, and never missed being with her at her rising in
the morning and going to rest at night. She did me the honour,
sometimes, to hold me in conversation for two and three hours
at a time. God was so gracious with me that I gave her great
satisfaction; and she thought she could not sufficiently praise
me to those ladies who were about her. I spoke of my brother's
affairs to her, and he was constantly apprised by me of her
sentiments and opinion; so that he had every reason to suppose
I was firmly attached to his interest.