AN OMINOUS DISCOVERY
I was puzzled.
"'Hickey's Pride?'" I repeated thoughtfully. "I don't seem to recall
that one. Do I smoke it often?"
Jenkins seemed to gasp.
"You? Certainly _not_, sir! _Never!_"
And, by Jove, he turned pale! Anyhow, he looked devilish queer as he put
his hands down on the table and bent to whisper:
"Mr. Lightnut, sir--" And the way he dropped his voice and turned his
head to peer around into the corners was just creepy! That's what,
creepy! This, with the glow from the green lampshade on his pale face as
he leaned across the table--oh, it was something ghastly--awful, you
know! It got on my nerves, and I could feel the hair slowly rising on
each side of my part. He bent close, whispering behind his hand, and I
knew he had been eating radishes for dinner:
"It's what's known in the trade, sir, as a 'twofer.'"
"A 'twofer!'" I repeated, puzzled.
"Two for five, sir." Jenkins spoke faintly. "I'm sure I'm ashamed to
mention to a perfect gen--"
"By Jove, _I_ know!" I lifted my finger suddenly. "I know now the kind
you mean--big, fat, greasy-looking ones--the sort Vanderdecker and
Colonel Boylston smoke over at the club." I shook my head. "Too jolly
thick and heavy for me. So they're two for a 'V'--eh? Oh, I
_see_--'twofers!' By Jove!"
A brand new one, this--a ripper! I made up my mind to spring it on the
fellows first chance--that is, if I could remember the jolly thing. I
just looked at Jenkins' solemn face and laughed.
"Oh, I say, Jenkins--hang the expense, you know!" I remonstrated in some
disgust. For this London chap had given me no end of a good time, you
know; and it's such devilish bad form--rotten, I say--haggling about
expense when you want to make a come-back and do the handsome. I was
jolly glad the mistake had happened.
Just here I remembered the letter and went at it again, for I was keen
to find out, if possible, if it _was_ a muffler under the string. So I
fixed my glass and read on:
"Realizing what these cigars are, I have given them, from time
to time, to friends of mine--and others. Really, I don't think
I ever had such unselfish, unalloyed pleasure from anything in
my life. Gave one to a bus driver out Earl's Court way--chap
who had never been known to speak to man, woman or child in
years, and, after he lighted it--well, my word! He opened up
and grew so bally loquacious I had to get off."
"By Jove!" I exclaimed.
I felt real pleased--that kind of fizzy glow--sort of
bubbling-champagney-feeling you get, you know, whenever a friend does
some clever, unexpected thing--like repaying a loan, for instance. Know
about that, because I had it happen to me once. Fact!
"See that, Jenkins?" I said with a little triumph.
I wanted to reassure him, for I could see with half an eye that the poor
fellow was devilish plucked about the expense. And Jenkins certainly
looked regularly bowled over.
I read on:
"Had been trying to get Jorgins, my chief, to send me out here
again to China, but he was ever finding some cold, beastly
evasion. But when your package came to the office, the first
thing I did after I had tried the cigars was to hand the old
iceberg a box with my compliments.
"Five minutes after, he came back, completely thawed out. Fact
is, never saw him so warm toward any one. Asked me if the other
boxes were to be given away outside. Said no; that his was the
only box I could spare; was going to keep 'em all there at the
office and smoke 'em myself. Never saw a man so moved--so
worked up over a little thing. Next day he sent me out here to
China."
"Coals of fire!" I ejaculated admiringly. "Regular out-and-out coals of
fire, by Jove!"
"And so I have been looking about since I have been out here,
trying to find something as rare, unique and full of surprises
for your friends as your cigars have been for mine. I have
found it."
"And devilish handsome of him, Jenkins, eh?" I commented gratefully; and
I looked with renewed interest at the little roll in my hand. Jove, how
I wished, though, he would come to the point and say what it was!
"You know what a curiously upside-down people the Chinese are.
Example, they begin dinner with desert and end with soup; they
drink hot, acid beverages in summer instead of iced ones; they
write from right to left, vertically, while we write from left
to right, horizontally; they mourn in white instead of black,
and they are awfully honest and pay their debts.
"But there is one other point of difference still queerer: they
wear pajamas all day, while we wear them only at night."
Here I yawned. Always hate that heavy, historical, instructive stuff,
you know. If you have to hear it, gives you headache, unless you can
slip off to sleep first.
So I reached the letter up to Jenkins.
"Just run over the rest of it yourself, and see if he says anything
about his present," I said, settling comfortably. Clever idea of mine,
don't you think?
And I was just dropping my head to have a snug little nap--just a little
forty, you know--when, dash me, if I didn't have another idea! Awfully
annoying, time like that.
Mind is so devilish alert, dash it! Always doing things like that; can't
seem to get over it, you know. And this ripping idea that bobbed up now
and got me all roused up was nothing more or less than to untie the
string myself and see what the thing was. See?
"I believe, sir," said Jenkins, looking up, "the gentleman has sent
you--h'm--has sent you--"
"By Jove, a suit of pajamas!" I exclaimed, holding them up.
It was neck and neck, but I beat Jenkins to it, after all!
"Gentleman says, sir," continued Jenkins, studying the letter, "that his
present of a pair of pajamas may seem surprising, but you won't know how
surprising until you have worn them."
"Jolly likely," I admitted, feeling the silk. By Jove, it was the
finest, yet thinnest stuff I ever saw, soft as rose leaves and as filmy
light as a spider's web. Not bad, that, for a comparison, eh? Caught the
idea from a vase of full-blown roses that were beginning to shed their
petals there on the table. And on one of the blossoms was a little brown
spider. Catch the idea? Suggested spider's web, you know.
"They're rather red, sir," Jenkins commented dubiously.
Red? Well, I should say! My! How jolly red they were! We spread them
under the light, and the red seemed to flow all over the table and fall
from the edge. Why, they were as red as--
I tried to think of something they were as red as, but somehow I
couldn't fetch the idea. I thought of red ink and blood and fireworks,
but they didn't seem to be up to them at all. And a big, velvety petal
that dropped from one of the crimson roses just seemed brown beside
them.
And yet, dash it, I knew they reminded me of something, you know; I knew
they _must_.
"They remind me--" I began, and had to pause--idea balked, you know.
"They remind me of--of--Jenkins, what do they remind me of?"
"Of _him_, sir," replied Jenkins promptly.
"Eh?"
"Old Memphis Tuffles, sir," explained Jenkins darkly. "I saw him once in
a opera, and he was that red."
"By Jove!" I said thoughtfully, and fell to watching the little spider.
It was dropping a life-line or something down to the pajamas.
"But they say he ain't always red," Jenkins continued mysteriously. "A
lady as is in the palmistry and card-reading line in Forty-second Street
told me he turned black whenever he got down to business. Do you suppose
that's where they get the idea of what they call black magic, sir?"
I answered absently, for I was wondering whether the little spider was
curious about the jolly red color there below him. And just then
Jenkins' hand went out and swept at the little thread. The spider
dropped and shot into a fold of the pajamas.
"I say! Look out!" I exclaimed as Jenkins made another clutch. "Don't
mash the beast on the silk; you'll ruin it--the silk, I mean!"
"There it goes, sir!" said Jenkins eagerly. "Over by your hand."
"No; by Jove; he's gone into a leg of the pajamas! Here, shake him
out--gently now!"
Jenkins lifted the garment gingerly and lightly shook it. But nothing
came forth.
"Why don't you look in the leg," I said, "and see if you can see it?"
Jenkins peered down one of the silken tubes and forthwith dropped it
with a yell. He jumped back.
"Look out, sir," he cried excitedly; "don't touch 'em! There's a
tarantula in there big as a sand crab, and it's alive."
"A tarantula? Nonsense! We don't have tarantulas in New York," I
protested.
Jenkins gestured violently. "One's there, sir, anyhow! I saw one once on
a bunch of bananas down in South Street. If they jump on you and bite,
you might as well just walk around to the undertaker. A dago told me
so."
I backed nervously from the crumpled crimson pile on the floor.
_Crimson?_
Of course, I knew it was crimson; it must be the shadow of the table
there that made the things so dark--_black_, in fact. But my mind was on
the tarantula; and I was thinking that it must have been wrapped with
the pajamas. Yet I could not understand how this could be, considering
how tightly the things had been rolled.
Anyhow, it was there; and Jenkins pointed excitedly.
"Look, sir! You can see it moving under the silk!"
By Jove, so you could! And the thing seemed nearly as big as a rat. It
was making for the end of the leg. I climbed upon a chair.
"Get a club," I exclaimed, "and smash the thing as it comes out!"
Jenkins rushed out and returned with a brassie.
"Careful now," I warned from the chair. "Don't go and hit the dashed
thing before it gets out, and make a devil of a mess on the silk! There
it is--it's out! No, no--not yet! Wait, until it gets its whole body
out! There now; he's drawing out his last beastly leg. Now--_now_ let
drive!"
And he did, and seemed to hit the thing squarely.
I knelt on the chair and craned over, while Jenkins still held the stick
tightly at the point where the thing had struck.
"Get him?" I queried. "Where is it?"
"That's it, sir," said Jenkins in an odd voice. "It ain't here."
"Why, dash it, I saw you strike the beast, right where you're holding
that club."
"Mr. Lightnut, sir"--Jenkins spoke a little huskily and glanced around
at me queerly--"will you look under the end of this stick and see if you
see what I see?"
I climbed down and examined cautiously.
"Why, by Jove, it's the little spider!" I exclaimed, surprised.
"Exactly, sir; what's left." Jenkins took a deep breath.
"Thank you, sir--it's a great relief," he sighed.
"Eh?"
"I mean, sir, I'm glad I ain't the only one who thought he saw that
other. It's _some_ comfort."
Jenkins spoke gloomily.
"_Thought_ you saw?" I repeated.
But Jenkins only shook his head as he gathered up the remains of the
spider and consigned them to a cuspidor.
"You mean--say, what the devil _do_ you mean?" I asked sharply.
Jenkins straightened with air respectful but solemn.
"Mr. Lightnut, sir," he began gravely, "there's a party lectures on the
street corner every night at nine on the fearful consequences of the
drink habit, and passes around blank pledges to be signed. I'm going to
get one first chance; and if you will accept it, sir--meaning no
offense--I would be proud to get you one, too."
I stared at him aghast.
"Oh, I say, now," I murmured faintly, "you don't think it was that, do
you?"
Jenkins' face was eloquent enough.
"I'm through, sir," he said sadly. "When it comes to seeing things like
that--" He lifted his eyes. "No more for me, sir; my belief is, it's a
warning--yes, sir, that's what, a warning."
I collapsed into a chair.
"By Jove!" I gasped uneasily.
I was awfully put out--annoyed, you know. It was the first time anything
of the kind had ever happened to me. If I started in with tarantulas,
what would I be seeing next?
Jenkins gulped nervously. "Why, sir," he whispered, leaning toward me,
"these pajamas--you see for yourself how red they are--they actually
seemed to lose color when that bug was in 'em."
"Oh, pshaw!" I said contemptuously. "I saw that, too." And I explained
to him about the shadow of the table. He nodded.
"But that only makes it worse, sir," he commented dubiously. "It shows
the 'mental condition,' as they say. You know, we were talking about the
black art--remember, sir?"
I did remember; and also I remembered then we saw the spider. I recalled
that spiders and tarantulas belonged to the same family. Of course
Jenkins' suspicions hit the nail--it must be that--there was no getting
around it--but still--
"By Jove, Jenkins!" I said, trying to go a feeble smile. "I never felt
so fit for a corking stiff highball in my life--never!"
I took a screw on my glass and studied him curiously.
"And I say, you know--better take one yourself!" I added.