dress. Garlands and bouquets of orange-buds, and other purely white
blossoms, are almost universally worn; and pearls are considered the
most appropriate jewels. In Holland, the apartment in which the bride
habitually resides, and all the furniture in it, are decorated with
garlands; every thing belonging to the bridegroom, even his pipe and
tobacco box, is adorned in the same manner; and a triumphal arch is
erected before the house, or festoons suspended at the entrance. Among
the Tyrolese, and in several other parts of Europe, it is customary
for the young couple to be escorted to church by a gay procession,
wearing flowers and ribbons, dancing, playing on instruments of music,
and firing pistols by the way. A part of Bohemia, called Egra, seems
to be the only place where a wedding is not considered an occasion of
rejoicing. There it would be deemed indecorous for the bride to appear
in white garments, or adorn herself with jewels and flowers. She wears
her usual black dress, with a cloak of the same color, with a rosary
in one hand, and in the other a veil, with which to cover her during
the ceremony. In this dismal attire, she demurely proceeds to church,
attended by relations, who preserve the utmost solemnity of countenance.
In Lapland, it is death to marry a girl without consent of her
friends. When a young man proposes marriage, the friends of both
parties meet to witness a race between them. The girl is allowed at
starting the advantage of a third part of the race; if her lover does
not overtake her, it is a penal offence for him ever to renew his
offers of marriage. If the damsel favors his suit, she may run hard
at first, to try his affection, but she will be sure to linger before
she comes to the end of the race. Thus no marriages are made contrary
to inclination, and this is the probable reason of so much domestic
contentment in Lapland.
In the cold climates of Lapland and Iceland, the bride, instead
of garlands, wears a crown of silver gilt. In Russia, the priest
places silver crowns on the heads of both the young couple; at the
marriages of people of rank, these crowns are held over their heads
by attendants. In some districts, the peasant bride wears a wreath
of wormwood; and in that country of perpetual flagellation, it is an
appropriate emblem of her unhappy lot. After the nuptial benediction
is pronounced, it is likewise customary to throw a handful of hops on
her head, with the wish that she may prove as fruitful as that vine. In
some Russian villages, it is customary, before the bridal procession go
to church, for a choir of young girls to chant this epithalamium: “A
falcon flies in pursuit of a dove. Charming dove, are you ready? Your
mate is come to seek you.” The bride timidly answers, “Yes;” and the
procession moves forward. After the wedding ceremony is performed, the
bridegroom has a right to give his bride “the kiss of love,” holding
her by the ears. The Sclavonian women, for a week previous to their
marriage, are expected to kiss every man who visits them, in token of
general respect and friendship for the sex. Some nations consider the
ceremony of betrothal nearly as solemn as that of marriage. Among the
Tyrolese, the father of the lover proceeds to the house of the beloved,
accompanied by his younger sons, carrying baskets of honey-comb and
aromatic plants. When he arrives, she and all her friends rise and
salute him. “Welcome, my friend,” says the head of the family; “what
brings thee among us?” He replies, “As thou art a father, let me put a
question to thy daughter.” He then steps up to the maiden, kisses her
forehead, and says: “God bless thee, lovely girl, who remindest me of
the days of my youth. I have a son; he loves thee. Wilt thou make my
declining years happy?” If the damsel is too much embarrassed to reply,
her mother, who is the confidant of her sentiments, answers for her.
The young man is then introduced, and receives a kiss from his new
parents, and his future bride. Sometimes, in order to try the sincerity
of their son’s attachment, the old people will not allow him to be
formally betrothed to the object of his choice, till he has made a tour
into Switzerland, Bavaria, or Italy, to sell some of the productions
of the country. “Go, earn thy wife,” say they; “a good husband must be
able to earn bread for his family.” The lover almost invariably returns
unchanged, bringing the proceeds of his industry, with the ribbons
still waving from his hat, which had been placed there by the idol of
his heart.
In some parts of Russia young people are solemnly betrothed, in
presence of their families. A garment of skin is spread on the ground,
and the young people kneel upon it. When they have interchanged rings,
the girl’s father places on their heads one of the household saints,
and pronounces a blessing. In former times, he gave his daughter a
few smart strokes of the whip, and then delivered the instrument of
punishment to his future son-in-law, to signify that he transferred
authority to him; but this brutal custom is now abolished. Russian
husbands were formerly intrusted with power of life and death over
their wives and children; but this law is ameliorated. In Scotland and
some other parts of Great Britain, lovers, when they plight their troth
to each other, break a small coin, and each one wears half of it next
the heart.
In Scotland, a mutual promise to consider each other husband and wife,
if it be given in the presence of two witnesses, constitutes a lawful
marriage; and in that country, as well as some parts of Germany, if a
man makes public acknowledgment that he considers a woman as his wife,
it gives her, and all the children she may have borne to him, the
same legal rights they would have had, if the marriage had been duly
solemnized.
In the polished circles of Europe, whose marriages are generally
made _par convenance_, the affianced couple do not have frequent
opportunities of seeing each other, without the presence of friends. If
a gentleman prolonged a visit to his lady after the family had retired
to rest, it would be regarded as extremely ungenteel and ridiculous,
and in many places would by no means be permitted.
In North Holland, a singular degree of freedom is allowed. A lover
comes every Sunday evening “to have a talk” with the girl of his heart,
and, having chosen some place apart from the rest of the family, often
remains until daybreak. A custom called _kweesten_ likewise prevails
here, as well as in some parts of Switzerland and Wales. In this case,
if the girl is coy, her admirer watches an opportunity to get in at her
chamber window, and there urges his suit. This is so far from being
considered any harm, that parents, who have marriageable daughters,
do not scruple to leave a window open for the express purpose. Those
who are shocked at this custom, will do well to remember that great
restraints imposed upon young people, however necessary they may be,
are always an indication of a corrupt state of society.
It is a general custom in all parts of Christendom for parents to give
a dowry with their daughters, proportioned to their wealth; even the
poorest generally contrive to bestow a few articles of clothing or
furniture. It is likewise an universal practice for friends to send
presents to the bride, a few days previous to the wedding. When the
Welsh peasantry are about to enter into the matrimonial state, they
send a man round to invite their friends, and to declare that any
donations they may please to bestow will be gratefully received, and
cheerfully repaid on a similar occasion. After the wedding party have
partaken a frugal entertainment of bread and cheese, a plate is placed
on the table to collect money from the guests; and the young couple
generally receive as much as fifty or a hundred pounds to furnish their
household establishment. The village girls, in nearly all countries,
are ambitious about having a few pieces of cloth, and coverlids, woven
in readiness for their marriage portion; but in cities, the extreme
poverty of the poor usually prevents even this simple preparation.
In the Greek island of Himia, the inhabitants gain a livelihood by
obtaining sponges for the Turkish baths; and no girl is allowed to
marry, till she has proved her dexterity by bringing up from the sea a
certain quantity of this marketable article.
Before the time of Francis the First, one hundred livres, about fifty
pounds, was considered a very handsome dowry for a young lady; but at
the present time, a fashionable and wealthy bride would expend a larger
sum than that upon a single mirror. In all countries a feast is given
to relations and friends, on the occasion of a daughter’s wedding; and
the entertainment is more or less bountiful and splendid, according to
the circumstances of the bride’s family.
After the ceremony is performed, all the guests congratulate the newly
married pair, and wish them joy. The young couple generally choose from
among their intimate friends some individuals to officiate as bride’s
maids and groom’s men. These friends are dressed in bridal attire,
and during the wedding ceremony stand on each side of the bride and
bridegroom. In some places, the maidens chosen for this office carry
the bride’s gloves and handkerchief. In France, some people still
retain the old custom of having a silken canopy supported over the
heads of a young couple, by their attendants. Those who affect display
have five or six bride’s maids, and as many groom’s men; but it is
more common to have one or two of each. The groom’s men are expected
to make presents to the bride, and to be among the earliest friends,
who call at her new abode. The wedding cake is usually much decorated
with flowers, and sugar-work of various kinds. This is offered to all
visiters, and a slice neatly done up in paper, and tied with white
ribbons, is usually sent to intimate friends. The superstitious depend
very much upon having a piece of wedding cake to place under their
pillows; and if nine new pins from the bride’s dress are placed in it,
the charm is supposed to be doubly efficacious. The object is to dream
of the individuals they are destined to marry. Sometimes names are
written on small slips of paper, rolled up, and placed beside the cake;
and the first one taken out in the morning reveals the name of the
future spouse.
The Tyrolese place a similar value upon the bride’s garland, and the
pins that fasten it. The bride scatters flowers from a basket among
the young men of her acquaintance; and these flowers prognosticate
their future fortunes; the honeysuckle and alpine lily promise uncommon
prosperity, but the foxglove is an omen of misfortune. The Tyrolese
bridegroom distributes ribbons among the girls, to the different colors
of which they likewise attach prophetic meaning. The Dutch treat their
wedding-guests with a kind of liquor called “the bride’s tears;” and
small bottles of it, adorned with white and green ribbons, are sent as
presents to friends, accompanied with boxes of sweetmeats.
The time between the avowed intention of marriage and the performance
of the bridal ceremony varies in different places, and among different
ranks. One year seems to be the most general period of courtship; but
people of rank are often contracted to each other several years before
marriage; and in all nations there are some individuals who marry after
a few months’ or a few weeks’ acquaintance.
In Prussia, men are allowed to form what is called a left-handed
marriage, in which the ceremonies are similar to other marriages,
excepting that the left hand is used instead of the right. Under these
circumstances, neither the wife nor the children assume the name of
the husband, or live in his house, or have a legal claim to dower, or
succeed to his estate and titles; but they receive what he pleases
to give them during his lifetime, and at his death such legacies as
are named in his will. These marriages are principally formed by poor
nobles, who already have large families. European monarchs are not
allowed to marry into any other than royal families; but they sometimes
form left-handed marriages with women, who will not consent to be
theirs on less honorable terms.
By the Prussian laws, a man may be imprisoned, and fined half his
fortune, or earnings, if he refuses to marry a woman, whom he has
deceived with false promises. If he runs away, the woman may be married
to him by proxy, and have a legal claim upon him for the maintenance of
herself and child.
The laws of most Christian countries do not allow females to dispose
of themselves before they are twenty-one years old. If a girl over
fourteen marries without the knowledge of her parents, they cannot
render the contract void; but if they know of her intention, they have
power to forbid the union until she is of age. The consent of both
parents is almost universally asked before young people are betrothed;
but after they are of age, the opposition of parents cannot prevent
marriage, unless the lovers choose to submit, from motives of duty, or
filial affection.
By the English laws, it is felony to abduct an heiress, even if her
consent to matrimony is obtained after forcible abduction. He who
compels a woman to marry by threats is subject to a very heavy fine,
and two years’ imprisonment. If any girl is forced or persuaded to
marry, before she is twelve years old, the ceremony can be declared
null and void. Very severe laws are made to protect females from
personal insult. Either man or woman may sue for a breach of promise of
marriage, and recover a sum of money according to the aggravated nature
of the circumstances. If a father is displeased with his daughter’s
marriage, he can refuse to bestow any dowry, and can make a will to
prevent her receiving any portion of his fortune. Hereditary estates
and titles do not descend to daughters so long as any sons are living;
but fathers can leave them by will such estates as are not restricted
by some settlement or entail. As a general rule, parents bequeath a
larger proportion to sons than daughters; but where there is no will,
property is equally divided. Among the rich, who settle marriage
contracts with all possible formality, the bridegroom often binds
himself to pay a certain annual sum to his wife, for her own peculiar
use, which is called pin-money. This phrase probably originated in
ancient times, when ornamental pins constituted an important and
expensive part of a lady’s dress. It is deemed the husband’s business
to purchase furniture, and put the house in readiness for his bride.
Not long ago, an English judge decided that the law allowed a man to
beat his wife with a stick as big as his thumb; whereupon the ladies
sent a request that his thumb might be accurately measured. In the
present state of public opinion, any man who availed himself of such
permission would be disgraced. Among the lower classes, a husband
sometimes puts a rope round his wife’s neck, and sells her in the
market; but this is an adherence to old custom not sanctioned by any
law.
A husband is bound to pay all the debts his wife may have contracted
since she became of age, whether he knew of their existence or not; if
she dies before payment is completed, his liability ceases. If a wife
is driven away by ill usage, she can claim a separate maintenance, but
the husband is no longer liable for her debts; and if she runs away
from his house, it is common to put an advertisement in the newspapers
warning people that he has ceased to be responsible for expenses
she may incur. Both parties can claim divorce, with leave to marry
again, in cases of criminal intercourse. Where a woman claims divorce,
the husband is adjudged to afford her a maintenance suitable to his
wealth; when a man seeks divorce, the wife’s paramour is condemned
to pay damages according to the discretion of the court. The court
likewise decide with which of the separated parties the children are
to remain. Some individuals, especially officers of the army and navy
have thought there was something contemptible in adjudging a sum of
money in reparation of so great an injury, and have chosen to revenge
themselves by single combat; but the opinion of the civilized world
has been growing more and more opposed to duelling; and it is to be
hoped that the last traces of it will soon disappear before the light
of the Gospel.
A woman cannot dispose of any property, or bring an action at law, in
her own name, during the lifetime of her husband; her signature to a
note is of no legal value, because the law considers her as under the
guardianship of her husband, and all her property as his. A widow is
entitled to one third of her husband’s estate, and any proportion of
it may be inherited by his will. Among the wealthy, the bridegroom,
before marriage, often settles a jointure upon his bride, which cuts
off her right of dower. If a man transfers any landed property without
his wife’s signature thereto, the purchaser always remains liable to
relinquish a third of it to the widow. Whatever a woman earns, or
inherits by legacy, becomes her husband’s, and may be seized by his
creditors, or a proportion of it divided among his relations, if he
dies without children. To avoid these risks, the whole, or a part of a
woman’s fortune, whether inherited before or after marriage, is often
put in the hands of trustees, for her especial use. This places it out
of the power of creditors, unless it can be shown that the transfer was
made with fraudulent intentions.
In Germany such precautions are unnecessary, because the law protects
every article of a woman’s property from the creditors of her husband.
In France, a widow has no claim on any part of her husband’s fortune,
unless he dies without relations, or a particular contract to that
effect has been made previous to marriage; but she always retains a
right to her dowry, and to any donations or legacies made to her.
When a man has no children, he often wills his whole fortune to
his wife; and if he has a family, leaves her one quarter of it, or
half the income for life. It is likewise a common thing for women
to bestow their fortunes on surviving husbands, by will. The right
of primogeniture ceased with hereditary estates and titles; and all
the children of a French family now inherit an equal share of their
parents’ property.
If a Spaniard has heirs in direct succession, his widow can claim
only one fifth of the estate, out of which she is obliged to pay the
funeral expenses. European women drop the name of their fathers when
they marry, and assume that of their husbands. A woman cannot recover
damages for breach of promise of marriage, either in France or Spain.
In France, and some parts of Germany, in addition to the usual causes
for divorce, it is allowable, whenever both parties appear before
magistrates, at successive periods, (the interval between which is
prescribed by law,) and persevere in expressing a mutual wish for
separation. Exceptions are frequently made to the usual laws, in favor
of crowned heads. Philip, landgrave of Hesse, applied to Luther for
permission to divorce his wife, and marry another, because his princess
was plain in her person, sometimes intoxicated, and had a disagreeable
breath. The royal petitioner threatened to apply to the pope for a
dispensation, in case of refusal; and the synod of six reformers,
convoked by Luther, contrived to find good reasons for granting his
request. In later times, Napoleon divorced Josephine, by decree of the
senate, because she brought him no children.
The women of Christian countries generally nurse their children about
one year; though many exceed that time. Among the Catholics and
Lutherans, the ceremony of baptism is usually performed privately at
the house of the minister, soon after the birth of the child, because
they are in haste to administer a rite which they deem necessary for
salvation; but other Protestant sects have their children baptized in
church, after divine service. The parents stand beside each other when
their child is offered for baptism. The father takes the infant from
its mother’s arms, and presents it to the priest, who sprinkles it with
water, and bestows the baptismal name. Some people request several of
their friends to stand as godfathers and godmothers at the baptism of
their children. Wealthy relations are very apt to have this compliment
paid them, because they are expected to make the infant a present, and
bound by a promise at the altar to take some interest in its welfare.
In Holland, it is customary, so long as the mother keeps her room, to
treat the children of the house and even of the neighborhood, with
sugar-plums, which are rough if the babe is a boy, and smooth if a
girl. In Russia, all married people who call to congratulate a friend
for having become a mother are expected to slip a piece of money under
her pillow, the wealthy usually give a ducat.
It is uncommon for European women to study medicine for the purpose of
attending upon their own sex, in seasons of illness; but in some cases
it is practised with great success.
Throughout Christendom, the law allows but one wife. Licentiousness
abounds in all cities; it is not confined to a class of women avowedly
depraved, but sometimes lurks beneath the garb of decency, and even
of elegance. In villages there is a better state of things, because
the influences of rural life are more pure, and young people generally
form marriages of inclination. Even in thrifty Scotland, and phlegmatic
Holland, matches of interest are common only among the wealthier
classes.
European laws allow widows to marry again, and they very frequently
do so, without the slightest imputation of impropriety; but in all
nations, she who remains in perpetual widowhood is involuntarily
regarded with peculiar respect. In some parts of Illyria and Dalmatia,
if the bride or bridegroom have been previously married, but especially
if the bride be a widow, the populace follow the wedding party, as
they proceed to church, keeping up a continual din with frying-pans
and shovels, and loading them with all manner of abuse; sometimes they
gather round the house, and make hideous noises all night long, unless
the newly married pair purchase exemption by the distribution of wine.
Some degree of blame is everywhere incurred by a widow who marries
again within the time prescribed by custom; which is usually one year.
Black is the color of European mourning. The queens of France formerly
wore white as an emblem of widowhood, and were therefore called _reines
blanches_; but this custom was changed by Anne of Bretagne, who assumed
black when Charles the Eighth died. The empress dowagers of Austria
never lay aside their mourning, and their apartments are always hung
with black. In England, the mourning worn on the death of any of the
royal family is purple. The nieces of the pope never wear mourning for
any relation.
I believe France is the only country in Europe where women do not
inherit the crown. There has been a comparatively greater proportion
of good queens, than of good kings. Perhaps it may be that women,
distrustful of their own strength, pay more attention to the public
voice, and their government thus acquires something of the character of
elective monarchies. But independent of this circumstance, illustrious
queens have generally purchased celebrity by individual strength of
character. In England, nothing was more common than to hear the people
talk of king Elizabeth and queen James. Margaret, queen of Denmark
and Norway, was called the Semiramis of the North, on account of her
capacity to plan and conduct great projects. Spain numbers among her
sovereigns no one that can dispute precedence with the virtuous and
highly-gifted Isabella of Castile. The annals of Africa furnish no
example of a monarch equal to the brave, intelligent, and proud-hearted
Zhinga, the negro queen of Angola; and Catherine of Russia bears
honorable comparison with Peter the Great. Blanche of Castile evinced
great ability in administering the government of France, during the
minority of her son; and similar praise is due to Caroline of England,
during the absence of her husband.
In the walks of literature, women have gained abundant and enduring
laurels; but it cannot be truly said that a Homer, a Shakspeare, a
Milton, or a Newton have ever appeared among them. It is somewhat
singular that instances of great genius in the fine arts have been more
rare among women than any other manifestations of talent. Propertia
da Rossi, of Bologna, and the Hon. Mrs. Damer, of England, did indeed
gain a considerable degree of distinction as sculptors, and Angelica
Kauffman had a high reputation as a painter; but these ladies have
had few competitors. Yet in works requiring delicacy, ingenuity,
imagination, and taste, women are proverbial for excellence.