QUAINT ADDRESSES AND THE DEAN'S PECULIAR SIGNATURE.--AMUSING INCIDENTS
AND THE POSTMAN'S KNOCK.--HUMOROUS APPLICATIONS.
The members of the Bristol Post Office Staff have to display no little
perspicacity in elucidating quaint addresses on letters going through
the post. To Postman Wade must go the credit of having correctly
surmised that the letter addressed simply "25th March, Clifton," to
which allusion has already been made, was intended for Lady Day, the
wife of the Judge of Assize, Mr. Justice Day, then staying in Clifton. A
letter addressed to "W.D. & H.O.", without street or town being named,
came from a distant county, and was delivered to the firm of Messrs.
W.D. & H.O. Wills & Co., in Bristol, for whom it was found to be
intended.
The pictorial illustrations herewith demonstrate two instances of
letters correctly delivered by the post office officials after the
address had been deciphered by their _Sherlock Holmes_.
In the _Bristol Royal Mail_ particulars were given of the peculiar way
in which correspondents addressed their envelopes to the Post Office,
Bristol. Since that publication was issued, other peculiar instances
have occurred. The following are cases of the kind, viz.:--The Head
Postmaster (Master's Parlour). The Honourable The Postmaster. Postmaster
Number 58 (in answer to query on Form "Postmasters No. 58"). Master,
General Post Office, Bristol.
The Dean of Bristol in the preface of his very interesting book "Odds
and Ends," writes of the many liberties people take with his surname in
their communications, and says that none of their imaginary names are so
pleasing to him as his own proper name of Pigou. That his correspondents
are not altogether to be blamed may be gathered from the fact that the
Dean, in an official letter to the Bristol Post Office, signed his name
thus:
[Illustration: Signature]
The signature was submitted to 22 officers who decipher the badly
addressed letters at the "Blind" Division, at "Head Quarters," in the
General Post Office, London, and their interpretations were as follows,
viz.:--J. Rogers, J. Egan, Ryan, J. Lyon, Roper, J. or T. Rogers, J.
Rogers, J. Logan, J. Lyon, J. Logan, J. Pogon, T. Lyon, J. Rogers, J.
Goson, J. Rogers, J. Eason, T. Egan, J. Goyfer, J.G. Offin, J. Lyons, J.
Pyon, J. Pijou.
[Illustration: LETTER CORRECTLY DELIVERED TO DR. W.G. GRACE, AT
BRISTOL.]
[Illustration: QUAINT ADDRESS.]
It is only fair to the "Blind Writers" to say, that the address heading
of the Dean's letter was withdrawn before the signature was submitted to
them. With that clue they would readily have been able to find out the
writer's correct name from their books of reference, so that the Dean is
not likely to suffer delay of his letters in the Returned Letter Office
through peculiarity of signature.
During a recent Christmas Season a parcel, containing a lb. roll of
butter was received, without address, in the returned Letter Office,
Bristol, from a Devonshire town. As the parcel could not be returned to
the sender within such a time as the contents remained good, the butter
was sold for cooking purposes. When placed upon the kitchen table, the
edge of a yellow coin was observed to be slightly protruding from the
roll. The coin turned out to be a sovereign, and search was made to
ascertain whether any more money had been so strangely hidden, but only
the £1 was found. The money was at once forwarded to the proper Post
Office authorities, and subsequently returned to the sender, but
would-be imitators are warned that such practices are strongly
deprecated by the Post Office Department as tending to lead to
dishonesty.
The Corporation of Bristol erected electric light ventilators in
different parts of the city. At a distance, possibly, these ventilators
appear, to the short-sighted, to be Post Office pillar boxes, as they
are iron boxes placed on the pavement near the kerbstones. They differ
in many respects from the familiar Post Office boxes, for, instead of
being round, they are square; they are painted of a different colour,
and are only about two feet high. They are without indicators, notice
plates, and doors. There is a slightly raised top for the passage of
air. Through this opening of one of the boxes letters have been recently
posted by three separate persons. Such carelessness is astonishing.
The Electric Lighting Authorities, to prevent further mishaps of the
kind, arranged to have the apertures closed by means of perforated zinc.
Even in these days of primary and secondary education, people have still
a very elementary knowledge of matters relating to the Postal and
Telegraph Services, in which everyone is vitally concerned. Recently, an
intelligent servant who had received a Board School education was sent
with a telegram to a Telegraph Office, and told to pay for a reply.
Having paid for the reply, she expected to get one there and then, and
it was only with very great reluctance that she was induced to leave the
Telegraph Office without a reply to convey back to the person who
entrusted her with the commission.
A complainant to the Post Office expressed himself thus:--"Jan. 1st,
1904. Dear Sir,--Your Postman on 28th by the First post In the morning,
With a newspaper,) My Sister Was at the back at the time Getting Sum
cole In. He could not Stop a few Minets; but nock So hard That he brock
a New Nocker on the door and then run off, we not Seen Him Since,) I.
think he Ought to bye Nother Nocker. Ther to much that boy Game with Sum
them The paper after came With Nother postman, He was on a bike wot
Broke the Nocker and Off at once and left the Peces on the door Step,
The postman got a Cast In his eye.) I. Should Not think he wood want us
to pay for a Nother Why dont him coum as A Man and pay for one Sir. I.
Must conclued with Best regurds to you, Yours Truley, F.H.G."
Travellers from North and East to the West of England and _vice versa_
are aware that the Bristol Joint Great Western and Midland station is a
busy railway centre. At a recent Christmas season, there was much remark
on the part of the railway passengers with respect to the platforms
being blocked up with barrows containing mails and the large stack of
parcel baskets to be met with at every point. Said one traveller, "It's
all blooming Post Office on the platform and no room for travellers to
get about." Said another, "The late arrival of the train was all due to
that 'parcel post.'"
A sub-postmaster in the Bristol district was called to account for
employing on the delivery of letters a boy of fourteen years of age,
instead of a person of sixteen years of age or upwards. He nominated
another person, who, he stated, was of proper age, being over 16 years
old. A year or two afterwards a question of discipline arose about this
individual, and it then transpired that he was 68 years of age--rather
too old to commence life in His Majesty's Service!
The phrase "guileless Ministers" in the speech of a former Prime
Minister on the fiscal question (1903) became in course of telegraphing
"guileless monsters," and so reached the Bristol press. Fortunately, the
newspaper proof readers were wide awake, and the error was corrected in
time.
Correspondents have a peculiar idea of the functions devolving on a
postmaster, as the following letters will indicate, viz.:--
"Brighton, March 13th, 1904. To the Postmaster; Sir,--Would you have
pleased to try and get me a small tin of very light coloured dry snuff
(I think it is called Lundifoot) from one of the leading tobacconists in
Bristol. If you will let me know the amount thereof I will send you the
money for the same before you send it. I am, Yours, etc., J.S.A.
"Scarborough, 6th August, 1904; Sir,--Would you please be good enough to
let me know by return, whether the nightingale is in song in Clifton
Woods at the present time. Thanking you in anticipation, and apologising
for troubling you. Believe me, Yours truly, (Sd.) (Mrs.) F.F."
"Cardiff, April 29th, 1902. Sir,--May I ask you the favour to hand over
the enclosed Bristol Blister to the chemist who sells it in your town,
when some person of your office passes the shop. I received considerable
benefit from the blister. I shall be very much obliged to you and the
chemist if he will be so good to let me know how he sells them. I am,
Yours truly, (Sd.) T.B."
[Illustration: FACSIMILE OF A RECEIPT FOR £20 GIVEN BY THE TRUSTEES OF
THE BRISTOL PRUDENT MAN'S FUND SUBMITTED FOR PAYMENT 78 YEARS AFTER
ISSUE.]
Not only are the articles themselves of a diversified character that
pass through the parcel post, but the mode of packing often produces a
certain amount of dubiousness in the minds of the Parcel Department
officials as to which is really the "Right side up," and how to handle
the packages. The sender of a rabbit, however; left no doubt on the
matter, as he had arranged poor defunct "Bunny" in such a way that its
head was securely tied between its hind legs, and the latter formed a
convenient handle, the front legs being tucked under the neck, and the
rabbit presenting the appearance of a ball. Another incident was of
rather an amusing character. The "tie-on" labels had become detached
from two packages which reached Bristol. A label which properly belonged
to a bottle of cough medicine was attached in the Returned Letter Office
to an old slipper, and the label proper to the medicine was delivered
without packet or other attachment to the shoemaker for whom the slipper
was intended. Fortunately, upon inquiry being made by the interested
parties, the medicine and slipper were delivered to the rightful
addressees.
The facsimile herewith of a receipt for £20 given by the Trustees of the
Bristol Prudent Man's Fund of Savings recently submitted for payment, 78
years after issue, will be interesting to Post Office Savings Bank
Investors of the present day.