CCX. LONDON SOCIAL AFFAIRS

All this time Clemens had been tossing on the London social tide. There

was a call for him everywhere. No distinguished visitor of whatever

profession or rank but must meet Mark Twain. The King of Sweden was

among his royal conquests of that season.

He was more happy with men of his own kind. He was often with Moberly

Bell, editor of the Times; E. A. Abbey, the painter; Sir Henry Lucy, of

Punch (Toby, M.P.); James Bryce, and Herbert Gladstone; and there were

a number of brilliant Irishmen who were his special delight. Once with

Mrs. Clemens he dined with the author of his old favorite, 'European

Morals', William E. H. Lecky. Lady Gregory was there and Sir Dennis

Fitz-Patrick; who had been Governor-General at Lahore when they were

in India, and a number of other Irish ladies and gentlemen. It was a

memorable evening. To Twichell Clemens wrote:

Joe, do you know the Irish gentleman & the Irish lady, the Scotch

gentleman & the Scotch lady? These are darlings, every one. Night

before last it was all Irish--24. One would have to travel far to

match their ease & sociability & animation & sparkle & absence of

shyness & self-consciousness. It was American in these fine

qualities. This was at Mr. Lecky's. He is Irish, you know. Last

night it was Irish again, at Lady Gregory's. Lord Roberts is Irish,

& Sir William Butler, & Kitchener, I think, & a disproportion of the

other prominent generals are of Irish & Scotch breed keeping up the

traditions of Wellington & Sir Colin Campbell, of the Mutiny. You

will have noticed that in S. A., as in the Mutiny, it is usually the

Irish & Scotch that are placed in the forefront of the battle....

Sir William Butler said, “the Celt is the spearhead of the British

lance.”

He mentions the news from the African war, which had been favorable to

England, and what a change had come over everything in consequence. The

dinner-parties had been lodges of sorrow and depressing. Now everybody

was smiling again. In a note-book entry of this time he wrote:

Relief of Mafeking (May 18, 1900). The news came at 9.17 P.M.

Before 10 all London was in the streets, gone mad with joy. By then

the news was all over the American continent.

Clemens had been talking copyright a good deal in London, and

introducing it into his speeches. Finally, one day he was summoned

before a committee of the House of Lords to explain his views. His old

idea that the product of a man's brain is his property in perpetuity

and not for any term of years had not changed, and they permitted him

to dilate on this (to them) curious doctrine. The committee consisted of

Lords Monkswell, Knutsford, Avebury, Farrar, and Thwing. When they asked

for his views he said:

“In my opinion the copyright laws of England and America need only

the removal of the forty-two-year limit and the return to perpetual

copyright to be perfect. I consider that at least one of the reasons

advanced in justification of limited copyright is fallacious--namely,

the one which makes a distinction between an author's property and real

estate, and pretends that the two are not created, produced, or acquired

in the same way, thus warranting a different treatment of the two by

law.”

Continuing, he dwelt on the ancient doctrine that there was no property

in an idea, showing how the far greater proportion of all property

consisted of nothing more than elaborated ideas--the steamship,

locomotive, telephone, the vast buildings in the world, how all of

these had been constructed upon a basic idea precisely as a book is

constructed, and were property only as a book is property, and therefore

rightly subject to the same laws. He was carefully and searchingly

examined by that shrewd committee. He kept them entertained and

interested and left them in good-nature, even if not entirely converted.

The papers printed his remarks, and London found them amusing.

A few days after the copyright session, Clemens, responding to the

toast, “Literature,” at the Royal Literary Fund Banquet, made London

laugh again, and early in June he was at the Savoy Hotel welcoming Sir

Henry Irving back to England after one of his successful American tours.

On the Fourth of July (1900) Clemens dined with the Lord Chief-Justice,

and later attended an American banquet at the Hotel Cecil. He arrived

late, when a number of the guests were already going. They insisted,

however, that he make a speech, which he did, and considered the evening

ended. It was not quite over. A sequel to his “Luck” story, published

nine years before, suddenly developed.

To go back a little, the reader may recall that “Luck” was a story which

Twichell had told him as being supposedly true. The hero of it was a

military officer who had risen to the highest rank through what at

least seemed to be sheer luck, including a number of fortunate blunders.

Clemens thought the story improbable, but wrote it and laid it away for

several years, offering it at last in the general house-cleaning which

took place after the first collapse of the machine. It was published

in Harper's Magazine for August, 1891, and something less than a year

later, in Rome, an English gentleman--a new acquaintance--said to him:

“Mr. Clemens, shall you go to England?”

“Very likely.”

“Shall you take your tomahawk with you?”

“Why--yes, if it shall seem best.”

“Well, it will. Be advised. Take it with you.”

“Why?”

“Because of that sketch of yours entitled 'Luck.' That sketch is current

in England, and you will surely need your tomahawk.”

“What makes you think so?”

“I think so because the hero of the sketch will naturally want your

scalp, and will probably apply for it. Be advised. Take your tomahawk

along.”

“Why, even with it I sha'n't stand any chance, because I sha'n't know

him when he applies, and he will have my scalp before I know what his

errand is.”

“Come, do you mean to say that you don't know who the hero of that

sketch is?”

“Indeed I haven't any idea who the hero of the sketch is. Who is it?”

His informant hesitated a moment, then named a name of world-wide

military significance.

As Mask Twain finished his Fourth of July speech at the Cecil and

started to sit down a splendidly uniformed and decorated personage at

his side said:

“Mr. Clemens, I have been wanting to know you a long time,” and he was

looking down into the face of the hero of “Luck.”

“I was caught unprepared,” he said in his notes of it. “I didn't sit

down--I fell down. I didn't have my tomahawk, and I didn't know what

would happen. But he was, composed, and pretty soon I got composed and

we had a good, friendly time. If he had ever heard of that sketch of

mine he did not manifest it in any way, and at twelve, midnight, I took

my scalp home intact.”

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