The drain of many investments and the establishment of a publishing
house had told heavily on Clemens's finances. It became desirable to
earn a large sum of money with as much expedition as possible. Authors'
readings had become popular, and Clemens had read in Philadelphia and
Boston with satisfactory results. He now conceived the idea of a grand
tour of authors as a commercial enterprise. He proposed to Aldrich,
Howells, and Cable that he charter a private car for the purpose, and
that with their own housekeeping arrangements, cooking, etc., they could
go swinging around the circuit, reaping, a golden harvest. He offered
to be general manager of the expedition, the impresario as it were, and
agreed to guarantee the others not less than seventy-five dollars a day
apiece as their net return from the “circus,” as he called it.
Howells and Aldrich liked well enough to consider it as an amusing
prospect, but only Cable was willing to realize it. He had been scouring
the country on his own account, and he was willing enough to join forces
with Mark Twain.
Clemens detested platforming, but the idea of reading from his books or
manuscript for some reason seemed less objectionable, and, as already
stated, the need of much money had become important.
He arranged with J. B. Pond for the business side of the expedition,
though in reality he was its proprietor. The private-car idea was given
up, but he employed Cable at a salary of four hundred and fifty dollars
a week and expenses, and he paid Pond a commission. Perhaps, without
going any further, we may say that the tour was a financial success, and
yielded a large return of the needed funds.
Clemens and Cable had a pleasant enough time, and had it not been for
the absence from home and the disagreeableness of railway travel, there
would have been little to regret. They were a curiously associated pair.
Cable was orthodox in his religion, devoted to Sunday-school, Bible
reading, and church affairs in general. Clemens--well, Clemens was
different. On the first evening of their tour, when the latter was
comfortably settled in bed with an entertaining book, Cable appeared
with his Bible, and proceeded to read a chapter aloud. Clemens made no
comment, and this went on for an evening or two more. Then he said:
“See here, Cable, we'll have to cut this part of the program out. You
can read the Bible as much as you please so long as you don't read it to
me.”
Cable retired courteously. He had a keen sense of humor, and most things
that Mark Twain did, whether he approved or not, amused him. Cable did
not smoke, but he seemed always to prefer the smoking compartment when
they traveled, to the more respectable portions of the car. One day
Clemens sand to him:
“Cable, why do you sit in here? You don't smoke, and you know I always
smoke, and sometimes swear.”
Cable said, “I know, Mark, I don't do these things, but I can't help
admiring the way you do them.”
When Sunday came it was Mark Twain's great happiness to stay in bed all
day, resting after his week of labor; but Cable would rise, bright
and chipper, dress himself in neat and suitable attire, and visit the
various churches and Sunday-schools in town, usually making a brief
address at each, being always invited to do so.
It seems worth while to include one of the Clemens-Cable programs
here--a most satisfactory one. They varied it on occasion, and when they
were two nights in a place changed it completely, but the program here
given was the one they were likely to use after they had proved its
worth: